


As We Chase the Sun

by intheinkpot



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animagus, Black Family (Harry Potter) - Freeform, Black family Centric, Crookshanks and Bellatrix are BFFs, F/F, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Issues, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, The AU no one asked for, eventual Bellamione, perhaps glacially slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-20 19:40:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 108,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intheinkpot/pseuds/intheinkpot
Summary: After torturing the Longbottoms, Bellatrix Lestrange fakes her death to escape the Aurors, her escape aided by a secret: she is an unregistered Animagus. She makes her way to the Forbidden Forest to continue her search for her master, but there is a reason that Animagus transformations are so dangerous. Isolated and without human contact, she loses herself. When Sirius discovers her, Dumbledore hatches a plan. Black family centric. Eventual Bellamione.





	1. Whatever It Takes

**Part One: This House No Longer Feels Like Home**

**Chapter One: Whatever It Takes**

The Dark Lord was gone. He would return, of this Bellatrix had no doubt. She would help him return. The Longbottoms would give them the information they wanted eventually.  
  
She stepped out of the bedroom and closed the door on the screaming, which ceased with the click of the lock thanks to the silencing spell that had been placed over the room. She and her fellow Death Eaters had all the time they needed, though she suspected the Longbottoms would succumb to insanity before too much longer.    
  
A soft, indistinct cry drew Bellatrix down the hall toward a closed door. She cautiously opened it, her wand held at the ready.  
  
A nursery. She relaxed, lowering her wand. A crib stood in the middle of the room. A baby, no more than a year old, stared up at her. He fussed, letting out another small cry.  
  
Without thinking, Bellatrix spun the mobile hanging above the crib with one hand, gently taking his tiny hand in her other while shushing him softly. She had done this with Draco a hundred times before on nights when Narcissa had Floo called her, desperate for help, _please, Bella, just a few hours, just a few hours of sleep._ Once Bellatrix had snapped that the house elves could take care of Draco, and Narcissa burst into tears.  
  
“I want him to _know you!_ I want him to know his family, to know he's - ” Narcissa cried, unable to finish.  
  
Bellatrix had never brought it up again. She had wondered silently at times what Narcissa was so afraid of, but now Bellatrix knew. The Dark Lord was gone, and while Bellatrix had faith he would return one day, it could take years or decades. The only future awaiting her was Azkaban or a life on the run, should she be unsuccessful in finding the Dark Lord. How old would Draco be when the Dark Lord returned and freed his faithful? Would Lucius escape a fate in Azkaban, or would Draco lose his father and his aunt; Narcissa, her husband and her sister?  
  
A door opened and closed down the hallway, and footsteps approached the room. Bellatrix drew away from the crib.

Rodolphus Lestrange glanced into the nursery. “Ah, there you are, my dear.” He sauntered over to her and peered into the crib, placing a hand on her hip. “Of course we'd find you here.”  
  
Bellatrix slapped his hand away, bristling. “What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
Rabastan Lestrange cleared his throat from where he stood in the hallway with Barty Crouch Jr. “Rodolphus, you shouldn't tease your wife so.” He gave Rodolphus a significant look that told Bellatrix he knew his brother had not been joking.  
  
While Bellatrix and Rodolphus worked well together as Death Eaters, there was no affection in their marriage. It was a respectable pureblood marriage as was expected of her, and nothing more. She admired his devotion and ruthlessness in service of their Lord, but he had the unfortunate tendency to believe he had more freedoms with her than she allowed. Rabastan had more than once come to his unknowing brother’s aid, redirecting conversations before Bellatrix hexed him.  
  
Rabastan turned to Bellatrix. “The Longbottoms know nothing about the fate of our Lord.”  
  
Bellatrix frowned. “We must keep looking then.”  
  
“It should take the Aurors several days to work out who is responsible,” Rodolphus said. “We can gather information and meet back at my manor in two days time.”  
  
“These were Aurors,” Barty said, “and very well liked people. They will dedicate all their resources - ”  
  
Bellatrix scoffed. “What resources? The Ministry is in shambles.” She took a step toward Barty. “Unless you are suggesting that the Dark Lord isn't worth the risk?”  
  
“No, I would never - ”  
  
“Good.” Bellatrix smirked. “Now, I would like to have a little more fun before we leave.”

 

*

 

The next night, Bellatrix Apparated outside the gates of Malfoy Manor, which swung open before her as she approached them and clanged shut behind her. She strode briskly up the pathway through the front gardens, her duster billowing out behind her. The front door of the manor opened under her touch much the same way the gates had.  
  
She closed the door quietly, knowing Narcissa would have put Draco to bed hours ago. She made her way through the silent mansion, the clicking of her boots and the rustling of her skirts the only sounds she heard until she approached Narcissa and Lucius’s favorite sitting room. The fire crackled pleasantly, and Lucius and Narcissa sat in front of it, each with their own glass of wine. They looked up when Bellatrix entered.  
  
Narcissa leapt from her chair, snatching the Daily Prophet off the coffee table between the chairs and shaking it in her hand, hissing as she stormed over to Bellatrix, “Bella, what have you done?”  
  
Bellatrix shrugged. “They refused to tell me what I wanted to know.”  
  
“Bella...” Narcissa’s voice softened, her eyes watery. “The Aurors will be even more intent on finding you. You have to be careful. You shouldn’t even be here, it’s too dangerous for you - ”  
  
Bella placed her hands on Narcissa’s arms gently. “It will take them days to figure out who is responsible. I will be long gone by then.” Narcissa’s face crumbled, and Bellatrix pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back soothingly. “I would like to see Draco before I go.”  
  
Narcissa pulled back, wiping at her eyes and nodding. “Yes, yes, of course. He’s in the nursery.”  
  
Bellatrix squeezed Narcissa’s arm reassuringly. She strode over to Lucius, who had remained in his chair watching them. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she leaned over to murmur to him, her hair blocking her face, “Do what you must to stay out of Azkaban, Lucius. I will not have my sister and nephew left alone.”  
  
Lucius nodded, and Bellatrix strode out of the room and up the stairs. She crept into the nursery and over to the crib. As if sensing her presence, Draco opened his eyes.  
  
Bellatrix picked Draco up, smiling. “You’ve gotten so big,” she whispered. Draco fisted a hand in her hair. “No, no, we’ve talked about this.” She gently freed herself and he grasped her hand instead. Her smile widened. “Much better.”  
  
Bouncing him slightly, she kissed his forehead. “Your Auntie Bella has to go away for a little bit, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. I have something very important I need to do. Be a good boy for your mother.” She whispered conspiratorially, “And a pain in the arse for your father for me.”  
  
Draco giggled, and despite knowing it impossible, Bellatrix liked to think he understood.  
  
“Auntie Bella loves you, Draco,” she said, her smile fading. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She gave him another kiss on the forehead. She was about to set him back in his crib when she heard something downstairs. Footsteps and Narcissa’s voice shouting, “Wait, you can’t - ”  
  
Bellatrix shifted Draco to sit on her hip, her other hand drawing her wand. She hesitated a moment. Should she put Draco in the crib? No, her family had many enemies. She refused to leave Draco alone and undefended.  
  
 She went out into the hallway. “Cissy?” she called, “what’s - ”  
  
Aurors charged up the stairs, Narcissa and Lucius right behind them. Bellatrix raised her wand, holding Draco tight against her. The Aurors stopped. Bellatrix’s eyes swept over the group. Most the Aurors present were young, perhaps fresh out of training if the way they stared at her was any indication: like terrified children pretending to be brave. One of them glared at her with hard eyes, though the effect was diminished by how red and watery they were. Still, an emotional and inexperienced Auror was dangerous when she held her nephew in her arms. She cursed herself. She should have listened to Barty. She should have left Draco in his crib.  
  
The lead Auror, an older man with grey in his hair, stepped forward. “You’re under arrest for the torture of Frank and Alice Longbottom, Mrs. Lestrange. We already have your accomplices. You have nowhere to go. Surrender peacefully.” He nodded toward Draco, and Bellatrix held him closer, taking a small step back. “No one wants your nephew to get hurt.”  
  
The young Auror who Bellatrix kept an eye on snorted. The lead Auror glared at him. Bellatrix curled her body slightly around Draco, noticing the way the young Auror’s eyes hardened, his hand gripping his wand tighter until his knuckles turned white. The lead Auror must have sensed it too because he held up a placating hand toward Bellatrix and whispered sharply, almost so quiet that Bellatrix couldn't hear him,  “Jenkins, go downstairs.”  
  
“No,” Jenkins said through grit teeth. “She tortured them. Until they lost their minds. She's sick. She deserves to die.”  
  
“Jenkins, _no_ \- ”

Bellatrix easily deflected the curse. Narcissa screamed, and Draco wailed, and the young Aurors panicked, slinging spells at her while the lead Auror shouted for them to stop. They were uncoordinated and unpredictable and outnumbered her six to one. Perhaps she could have taken them easily at another time in another place, but with Draco in her arms and her sister behind them, it was all Bellatrix could do to deflect their spells. She clutched Draco to her chest.  
  
“Stop!” she shouted. “I’ll surrender, just _stop_!”  
  
Bellatrix wondered who had the brilliant idea to send a team inexperienced Aurors after her. Spotting the look on the lead Auror’s face, she realized with a sinking feeling that they had not expected to actually find her here. This was a trainee group finding itself faced with a threat they were not prepared to handle. She could use that, could pretend to surrender and once Draco was out of harm's way, Bellatrix could dispatch them with ease.  
  
 “Stop!” she shouted again. “I surrender! Stop!”  
  
That got through to most of them, but Jenkins didn't care, firing off a rapid succession of spells that Bellatrix blocked with ease until he sent a _reducto_ at the wall beside her. Bellatrix barely deflected his first spell, and with no time to block the second. She instinctively twisted her body, shielding Draco from the debris. She did not see the spell that sliced the back of her wand hand, forcing her to lose her grip on her wand. Another spell slammed into her side, sending her flying down the hall. She managed to hold onto Draco.

Bellatrix then saw several things at once: Narcissa’s pale, bloodless face, eyes wide with terror as she screamed, wand pointing at one of the Aurors; a beam of moonlight hitting the carpet coming from the full length window behind her; her wand lying far out of reach; the lead Auror swinging his wand toward Jenkins; and Jenkins beginning to mouth familiar words that made her blood run cold.  
  
She rolled Draco off of her onto the floor as she scrambled to her feet. She had to get away from him fast, had to have Jenkins pointing nowhere near him -  
  
“ _Avada_ \- ”  
  
It was suicide but it was all Bellatrix could think to do: she had to get out of the manor, had to get away quick before her family ended up dead from crossfire and panicky Aurors. She  sprinted down the hall.  
  
“ _Kadavra!_ ”  
  
Bellatrix crashed through the window. A jet of green light shot past her into the night, just barely missing her, and she felt a surge of relief: the spell hadn't hit Draco. She was out of the manor, her family would be safe -  
  
And then her stomach dropped as she fell, her whole body burning from shards of glass embedded in her skin. The ground rushed up to meet her. She hit the grass with a sickening thud and a crack, the impact driving pieces of glass further into her stomach. The pain blinded her. For a moment, everything was black and silent. Then she heard voices, distantly. Coming from...above?  
  
“Crazy bitch!” Slightly awed.  
  
“JENKINS, I'LL SEE YOU THROWN INTO AZKABAN. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?”  
  
“SHE DESERVED IT. SHE DESERVES EVERYTHING SHE GETS.”  
  
“SHE HAD A CHILD, YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM - ”  
  
“WHO CARES? HE’LL BE JUST LIKE THEM ANY - ” The voice cut off abruptly.  
  
“Shut up! Not another word out of you until we get back to the Ministry. You three, get away from the window. Go see if she's still alive.”  
  
“She can't be, not without a wand - ”  
  
“GO CHECK. DO YOUR JOBS FOR ONCE.”  
  
A baby crying. A woman screaming her name. Draco and...Cissy? Bellatrix groaned. Had she passed out? She shifted, trying to lift herself off the grass. Stars exploded behind her eyes, and her vision went black for a second. She forced herself to stay conscious, even as every movement caused glass to tear and slice through her skin and muscles. Once on her feet, she stumbled toward the maze garden. She could slip between the bars in the fence and hide in the forest.  
  
She just needed some cover...

No one, not even her sisters, knew she had become an unregistered Animagus. She had hoped it would be of use to the Dark Lord, but she had only mastered the transformation recently and it was not a shape as well suited to subtly as she had hoped.  
  
She made it into the maze and around a corner before she heard, “Bloody hell, she's gone!”  
  
“She can't have gone far, look at that blood. Hurry!”  
  
Bellatrix shifted into a black wolf, forcing herself not to yelp as glass ripped through her with the change. Her left wrist, which had gotten caught under her awkwardly when she landed, was definitely broken. But even in blinding pain and hopping on three legs, she knew the maze better than they did and could squeeze through the hedges toward her goal. Panting, she slipped through the bars of the fence and into the forest beyond.  
  
She felt a surge of triumph as she hobbled deeper into the forest. The sounds of Aurors yelling in panic pierced the night air. After several minutes, she collapsed, unable to go any further. Too tired, too much pain, too much blood loss. Not far enough away to be safe, and any moment the Aurors would figure out she was no longer on the grounds. They would find a blood trail leading straight to her.  
  
Bellatrix closed her eyes, trying to think.  
  
Now what?

 

*

 

Narcissa shoved her way through the group of stunned and screaming Aurors, feeling Lucius following on her heels. Bile burned the back of her throat. _This can't be happening, this can't be..._ She scooped Draco into her arms, checking him over. Lucius pressed against her side. Face pale, his fingers fluttered over Draco’s face and limbs, as though wanting to check for injuries but afraid to touch. Draco wailed but aside from a small cut on his forehead, he was unharmed.  
  
Narcissa sobbed in relief. He was safe. Bellatrix had kept him safe. Bellatrix...

Had jumped out the second story window.  
  
Narcissa pressed Draco against Lucius’s chest. “Bella,” she gasped, and Lucius took Draco, arms trembling, fumbling a bit to hold him right. “I have to check...”  
  
“Go,” Lucius said.  
  
She sprinted to the remains of the window. Leaning out, her eyes locked on a dark figure sprawled on the grass. Bits of glass sparkled in the dark around Bellatrix’s body, in her hair, on her back. She lay completely still.  
  
Narcissa rushed the past the Aurors, nearly tripped down the stairs in her haste, and flung open the front door. She rounded the back of the manor when she heard one of the Aurors exclaim in surprise and saw them rush into the maze.  
  
Bellatrix was gone. Narcissa should have felt relieved, but... She held her wand out in front of her. “ _Lumos_.” The grass was dark and slick with blood. Narcissa felt cold. She had to do something. There was so much blood...  
  
She couldn't remember going back inside the house or entering the Dining Hall. She couldn't go after Bellatrix herself but... “Pinky.”  
  
A house elf appeared. “Yes, Mistress?”  
  
“My sister is injured. Gather supplies from my private stores and find her. Make sure she's safe. Tell no one about this, not even my husband.”  
  
“Understood, Mistress.”

 

*

 

A sharp pop startled Bellatrix, and she yelped in pain.  
  
“Mistress Bellatrix?” asked a squeaky voice. “Is that you? Oh dear. Mistress Narcissa said you is badly hurt. She sent Pinky with potions.”  
  
Bellatrix crawled out from under the bushes, unable to stop the whine of pain that escaped her throat. The house elf turned wide eyes on her, clutching a large bulging bag to her side.  
  
Bellatrix shifted. “It’s me.” She spoke through gritted teeth. Fresh blood spilled from her wounds.  
  
“Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, what trouble you've gotten yourself into now, Mistress Bellatrix.” Pinky took one of Bellatrix’s hands between her tiny ones. “The Aurors will be here soon, Mistress. It’s not safe to move with you like this, but there’ll be no time to fix you up otherwise.”  
  
Bellatrix gasped for breath, forcing herself to stand. “There’s...we can’t move now. There’s a...a river not far from here. I could hear it. We need...” Stumbling further into the forest, she hoped the river wasn’t too far. “We can use it to...” She clenched her teeth and bit back a scream. “To...cover our tracks.”  
  
The house elf watched her with worried eyes but obediently jogged beside her. It felt like ages before she heard the sound of rushing water, and a moment later she stumbled upon the river. It wasn’t large, but it was enough. It would cover her tracks, making a logical end to the trail of blood she left. In her weakened state, even her sudden disappearance would make sense: she had tried to cross the river, or maybe walk along it, and stumbled or lost her footing, fell into a current she was too weak to fight and was swept away.  
   
Hissing in pain, she shrugged out of her jacket, balled it up and tossed it into the ri ver. Hopefully it would end up far downstream. Waterlogged and desperate, she had managed to struggle out of her coat...  
  
Bellatrix steeled herself, holding out a hand to the elf. “Do it.”  
  
A small hand wrapped around her fingers, and she felt the familiar sensation of being squeezed through a tube. It lasted only a second, but when they arrived wherever they were, Bellatrix screamed through her teeth, collapsing on the ground, driving pieces of glass further into her side.

“I'm sorry, Mistress. It was the only way.” Pinky pulled the string of the bag over her head, causing her ears to flop around as the string caught on them, and set the bag on the ground. As she dug around inside, she said regretfully, “It’s not safe to give you anything for the pain yet. Not until I know what’s wrong.”  
  
Bellatrix hissed through clenched teeth. Pinky helped her sit up. Tears slid down Bellatrix’s face.  
  
Pinky pulled out a cloth, folded it and instructed Bellatrix to bite down on it. “This will hurt, but it’ll be over in a minute.” She waved her hand, and every piece of glass in Bellatrix’s body slid out of her into the air, slicing her anew. Bellatrix screamed and sobbed, her voice muffled by the cloth. Blood gushed from her wounds. The air above them shimmered and sparkled with glass shards and dust. Pinky snapped her fingers, and it disappeared.  
  
Bellatrix’s vision swam. Pinky plucked the cloth from her mouth. She waved her hand, and Bellatrix blinked against the cold night air on her suddenly naked skin. Only her underwear remained.  
  
“Sorry, Mistress, but I must clean your wounds. First, drink these.” Pinky pulled several bottles of potions from the bag. One at a time, she unstoppered them and helped Bellatrix drink them. “Blood replenishing potion...skelo-grow, for your wrist. Unpleasant, but necessary or else it won't heal right... This one will help you fight infections... One to heal your wounds... This will help you sleep...one more blood replenishing potion just to be safe...”  
  
Once that was done, Pinky took a wet cloth from the bag and gently wiped away the blood from Bellatrix’s skin. She started with her back, then laid her down carefully and cleaned her face and her front. She shoved the bloody cloth and empty potions bottles into the bag. Another snap of her fingers and Bellatrix was dressed again, though her clothes were still torn and bloodied.  
  
“Nothing I can do about your clothes, Mistress. I'm sorry.” Pinky patted her hand. “You should change back into your Animagus form. It will be safer and warmer for you tonight.”  
  
Bellatrix nodded. “Tell Cissy...” She frowned. Draco had almost died tonight because of her foolishness. “Tell Cissy...nothing. Tell her you couldn't find me. That the Aurors almost caught you, and you smashed the bottles by mistake. Get rid of the cloth. Wait, give her this.” Bellatrix ripped her bird skull necklace off, snapping the chain. She grimaced. It was a present from her sisters years ago, like her leather jacket had been, and she had always taken good care of both. Cissy would repair it and the jacket, she reassured herself, pressing the necklace into the elf’s hand. “Tell her this is all you could find. Say it was hanging from a tree branch, you cleaned it off, and that’s where the blood comes from. It's safer if she doesn't know...”  
  
Pinky trembled. “Pinky can’t lie to her mistress!” She pulled at her ears in distress.  
  
“You can and you will.” Bellatrix glared at her sternly. “You are a Black family house elf first and foremost. As the eldest, my orders come before my sister’s. Do you understand?”  
  
Pinky nodded miserably. “Yes, Mistress Bellatrix.”  
  
Bellatrix lay back on the thick grass. For the first time, she wondered where she was. Groggily, she propped herself up on her elbows. They were in a large field not far from where a house stood. She couldn’t make out any details in the dark.  
  
“Where am I?”  
  
“Some place safe,” Pinky said. “Please, Mistress Bellatrix, change before you are seen. It will be safer.”  
  
Bellatrix rolled over onto her stomach and shifted. She felt some of the tension leave her body, knowing she would not be recognized, and the elf was right, the night did feel much warmer...  
  
Pinky disappeared with a _crack_. Briefly, a light turned on in an upper room, and a woman opened the window. She seemed familiar somehow, but Bellatrix couldn’t place it, not when the potions and the events of the last hour where making it hard to stay awake, dragging her head down between her paws against her will.  
  
It wasn't safe to stay here, much less sleep here, but the night was warm with a calm breeze and the steady sound of crickets. The tall grass would hide her well enough. Strangely, the smells were comforting as well; the grass, the dirt, some familiar scent that she couldn't place but which reminded her of when she was young and would play in the garden with her sisters.  
  
Yes, she would rest here awhile and let the potions do their work...

 


	2. Everything That Is

Narcissa paced in the entryway of Malfoy Manor. Draco slept in the nursery, though it had taken an hour to calm him down, and to be honest, she felt uneasy being separated from him. Lucius stood near the foot of the stairs. He alternated between watching her pace and letting his eyes drift up in the direction of the nursery. A smile briefly tugged at the corner of Narcissa’s mouth. She wasn't the only one worried, then.

 

Standing guard by the front door, an Auror shifted from foot to foot. Young, with a round face, a mop of blonde hair and a light sheen of sweat on his forehead. His eyes followed her as she stalked back and forth. Narcissa glared at him and shook her head, not breaking her stride. These were the people sent after her sister? Unbelievable. Bellatrix would have eaten them alive if not for the danger to Draco.

 

The Auror cleared his throat. “Madam Malfoy, please, stop pacing - ”

 

“Do not dare presume to tell me what I can do in my own home. Especially not while we wait to find out if my sister is even still alive because of your incompetence,” she said, voice cold and hard as the arctic, and the Auror visibly shivered.

 

She heard a small pop, signaling the arrival of a house elf in the next room. The Auror startled at the sound, drawing his wand. Only one house elf in their home would make their presence known tonight without being summoned, and Narcissa’s heart pounded in her chest.

 

“It’s just a house elf, you imbecile,” she spat.

 

The Auror dropped his wand, embarrassed. Lucius gazed in the direction of the sound, an eyebrow raised.

 

He glanced at her, seeking silent confirmation. With Aurors watching them, she had been unable to tell him what she had done, but his eyes told her he suspected her actions.

 

Narcissa headed toward the door. “I will go see to it. Lucius, dear, please keep our... _present company_ entertained.”

 

Lucius nodded to her.

 

She paused halfway to the door and said coldly to the Auror, “I would appreciate finding my husband in one piece when I return.”

 

The Auror’s face turned beat red under her glare.

 

Narcissa stalked over to the door to the room, wrenched it open and slammed it behind her. Pinky watched her, wide eyed and trembling. Holding up one finger to stall the elf, Narcissa cast a silencing charm to be safe.

 

“Bellatrix?” she asked, breathless.

 

Pinky’s eyes welled with tears. Looking miserable and pathetic, she shook her head. “Pinky could not find Mistress Bellatrix. Pinky is so sorry, Mistress, this was all Pinky could find...” She held a bird skull necklace in her tiny fingers, the thin chain broken.

 

Narcissa’s chest felt tight and painful, breathing difficult. She took the necklace in a daze. The elf said something else, something about the potions maybe, but Narcissa wasn't listening. _The Aurors will find her, they'll save her, they have to for a trial,_ she thought desperately. If the Aurors found her, Bellatrix would go to Azkaban, no question. But she would be alive, and that was better than her being dead.

 

It had to be.

 

There would be no happy ending here. Bellatrix would either die of her wounds or spend the rest of her life tormented by Dementors. Perhaps, if Bellatrix could keep her mouth shut, there was a chance to save her from Azkaban...

 

The front door opened and shut. Narcissa closed her eyes, took a deep breath. One... Two... Three... Schooling her features, she opened her eyes and returned to the main room.

 

The lead Auror had returned. He held something thick and black in his hands. It dripped water onto the hardwood floor.

 

“We have not found Madam Lestrange,” he said. “The Auror teams sent to capture her accomplices succeeded in their missions and will be joining us shortly to canvas the entire forest. However...”

 

The way he trailed off with a grim look in his eyes as he took step toward her made Narcissa’s blood run cold. She couldn't stop the slight trembling in her hands.

 

“You’re looking for a body now, aren't you?”

 

“I’m sorry, Madam Malfoy,” he said, and Narcissa actually believed him. “We found this.” He held out the bundle in his hands. As Narcissa slowly took it, afraid of what she’d find, he continued, “We followed a trail of blood to a river. We found this a mile downstream.”

 

Narcissa swallowed, letting the bundle of leather unfurl in her trembling fingers. Bella’s jacket was shredded, soaked, and so heavy in her hands. No sign of blood was left that Narcissa could see, but her mind still readily supplied the image of the dark, slick grass where Bella had landed.

 

“We believe Madam Lestrange fell into the river. The jacket would have weighed her down tremendously but with the amount of blood she lost...not to mention the broken bones and other injuries she must have sustained...” He trailed off a moment.

 

“You think she drowned.” Narcissa’s voice sounded strange, distant, flat to her ears. Her eyes remained fixed on the ruined jacket she held before her. It had been a present from her and Andromeda years ago. They had ventured into Muggle London searching for a jacket to compliment the corsets and skirts Bella loved, something that had terrified and exhilarated a young Narcissa. It had been the one and only time Narcissa had met Ted Tonks, though she had not suspected him to be anything more than an unwise and rebellious choice of friends then. Despite the sneer when Andromeda told her of their adventures, Bellatrix had loved it, worn it all the time, and took meticulous care of it, the same as she did with her bird skull necklace. Until Andromeda abandoned them, and the jacket had disappeared (the necklace had remained though Narcissa suspected that was because it had been primarily a gift from Narcissa which Andy had helped her pick out). Narcissa had been sure Bellatrix had burned the jacket until, one day, it reappeared. Narcissa had been too afraid to ask if Bellatrix kept it solely because it was also a present from her or if she kept it to keep Andy close too.

 

“Yes,” the lead Auror said heavily. “It is highly likely. But we’re still searching.”

 

Narcissa didn't take her eyes off the jacket. “Get out.”

 

“Let’s give them some privacy,” he murmured to the other Auror. He cleared his throat and said louder, “Her wand and Gringotts key will remain in the Ministry’s possession for the time being, as will as any dangerous artifacts we find in the Lestrange manor, but you are free to claim any other possessions - ”

 

“Get out,” she said more firmly, her throat constricting. She still did not look at them.

 

The Aurors left without another word. Once the front door closed, she heard Lucius step up behind her, felt his fingertips brush against the back of her shoulder.

 

“Darling?” he murmured.

 

A sob wrenched itself from her throat, her whole body shuddering. She collapsed to her knees, curling in on herself, clutching the jacket to her chest, rocking back and forth, gasping for air between sobs that wracked her whole body. Lucius sat beside her. He gathered her in his arms and held her, saying nothing.

 

*

 

Bellatrix woke to delicious smells wafting from the house and the feeling of sunshine warming her black fur. Lifting her head, she sniffed the air, hoping for some clue as to where she was. The place was rural. Somewhere still in England, she thought, but she couldn't be sure.

 

Her stomach rumbled. She would need to eat soon. Somehow. Last night's events and the potions had taken a lot out of her. But she had no wand, was too recognizable to step foot in any wizarding community as a human, her Animagus form too unlikely to pass for a stray dog for her to get too close to scavenge or steal.

 

Hunting, then. She bared her teeth in disgust, a low rumble in her chest. She was a Black! To be reduced to eating rats and garbage, even for one day, was an unbelievable insult. But, she knew, her growl subsiding, she would endure anything for her Lord. She would continue her search on her own and hope she found him soon. Only once she found him would she be free to return home.

 

She winced. Narcissa would be furious with her. Should she ever manage to return home alive, she might die at Narcissa’s hands. She could hear it now: _“Of all the unbelievably stupid things you've done, Bellatrix, I swear - don't touch me, Lucius, I'm going to kill her! Bellatrix Druella Lestrange, you complete and utter bitch, you - ”_

 

Bellatrix huffed. It was for the best. The manor would be too closely watched by Aurors to risk contact, and if somehow they found that Narcissa knew she was alive and said nothing... Bellatrix would not risk her sister being sent to Azkaban. Not for anything.

_Cissy will understand,_ she told herself. _Now focus. Where do I start my search?_

 

The door to the house opened. A young girl with short green hair ran outside, laughing. Something about her seemed vaguely familiar, though Bellatrix was positive she had never seen this girl in her life. She looked to be only a few years away from Hogwarts. Why had the elf brought her to strangers? What could possibly be safe about that?

 

A thought struck her: Hogwarts! The Forbidden Forest would be the perfect place to start her search. All manner of dark creatures lurked within. A wolf would not be a suspicious addition to the forest, and stealing a wand from a student straying too close would be child’s play.

 

A woman stepped out of the house, hand shielding her eyes from the rising sun. Bellatrix felt the air rush from her lungs, her heart clench painfully, her body go numb. The woman’s brown hair fell in waves around her shoulders the same way Bellatrix remembered. Bellatrix understood now why the elf would think to bring her here.

 

Andromeda watched the child run through the tall grass. “Nymphadora, be careful! The ground isn't even, I don't want you to twist your ankle again.”

 

Again? Bellatrix snorted.

 

“But _Mum_ ,” the girl whined, and Bellatrix couldn't breathe again. The girl’s hair turned black, long and thick much the same as Bellatrix’s. A strain appeared on Andy’s face at the sight that cut Bellatrix deeply. “It’s fun! And call me Dora! Nymphadora is a silly name.”

 

Bellatrix had heard Andromeda had a child. Not from Andromeda herself, of course, which hurt more than Bellatrix was willing to admit even as she told herself she didn't care. But Bellatrix had never met the child, never expected to, told herself she didn't want to, she _didn't, she didn't, she didn't._

 

And she certainly didn't miss her blood traitor sister who apparently couldn't stand the thought of having a daughter who looked like her, and she didn't mourn the life she thought she and her sisters would have. Motherhood had never been something Bellatrix envisioned for herself - despite her family’s constant lessons about a pureblood woman’s place and Aunt Walburga’s shrieking rants - but she had imagined the three of them congratulating each other on their marriages, celebrating Cissy and Andy’s pregnancies, _knowing_ her nieces and nephews, teaching them, protecting them.

 

She had lost everything. She no longer knew Andromeda, would never know her niece, and she may never see Draco or Narcissa again. She loved the Dark Lord and though she firmly believed he would return, she was still alone. She had lost her home, her family, her wand, _everything_.

The weight of that realization crushed her. The events of last night had her so caught up in adrenaline and terror and exhaustion that what happened had not yet fully sunken in until now: Draco could have _died_ because of her actions. Narcissa could have if she hadn’t kept control of herself and had attacked the Aurors.

 

Had the Dark Lord truly been worth it?

 

Bellatrix froze, eyes widening at the traitorous thought. _Of course!_ she insisted, but the nagging feeling in the back of her mind remained.

 

She couldn’t stay here, not here where everything that could have been and everything that was crashed together, shredding her from the inside out.

 

Bellatrix leapt to her feet and sprinted away from the house. She didn’t know yet which way she needed to go, but it didn’t matter as long as it was _away_. She ran and ran and kept running until she was too exhausted to hurt anymore.

 

*

 

Something large and black caught Andromeda’s eye, and she turned her head to see it speeding away from the house through the tall, thick grass. Some sort of large dog. A stray, maybe? As she resolved to keep an eye out for it in the future (what if it bit Nymphadora?), two pops signaled the arrival of Aurors. Andromeda raised an eyebrow. She had seen in the paper that her sister Bellatrix was wanted under suspicion of torturing Frank and Alice Longbottom to insanity (among many other things), but she had not expected a visit from Aurors.

 

A sense of dread settled in her stomach. Something was wrong.

 

“Nymphadora, come here,” Andromeda called.

 

“But, Mum!”

 

“Now, young lady,” she snapped, and felt a surge of unease at how much she sounded like her mother.

 

Looking worried, Nymphadora scampered to her side. As the Aurors approached, she pressed herself against her mother, one hand fisting in Andromeda’s robes, the other taking hold of Andromeda’s hand.

 

Andromeda placed an arm around her daughter’s shoulders and drew herself up to her full height. “What can I do for you, gentlemen?”

 

The older Auror took a step forward. His face was drawn, tired, and he had liberal amounts of grey hairs and a few prominent scars on his cheek and nose. “I am Auror Henrix, and this is Auror Gregson. We need to ask you a few questions about your sister, Bellatrix Lestrange.”

 

Andromeda pressed her lips together in a thin line. Her hand tightened on Nymphadora’s shoulder for a moment. “Nymphadora, tell your father to meet us in the kitchen then go play in your room.”

 

Nymphadora opened her mouth as though to argue, but then snapped it shut. She scurried into the house.

 

Andromeda jerked her head in the direction of the door. “Follow me.”

 

Andromeda led them into the kitchen and put a kettle on to boil while they waited. The Aurors stood awkwardly by the kitchen table. Andromeda did not offer for them to sit down, and Auror Henrix shook his head at the younger Auror when he made a move to pull out a chair.

 

A few minutes later, Andromeda heard feet rushing down the stairs. Ted joined them in the kitchen, hastily tugging his shirt down over his stomach.

 

“Right, what’s this about?” he said.

 

The kettle whistled. “They have questions about Bellatrix,” Andromeda said, removing the kettle from the stove.

 

“What? Why? My wife hasn't heard from her sisters in years.”

 

Andromeda forced her expression to remain neutral as she poured herself a cup of tea. It wouldn't do to show how much that reality hurt her. Ted was trying to be supportive, to protect her from whatever the Aurors thought she might know, to shield her from the consequences of her elder sister's actions - and, Merlin, when had it happened that she needed to be protected _from_ Bellatrix rather than being protected _by_ her? They had been so close. They had been everything to each other. Why couldn't they have been brave enough to support her? Why...?

 

“We’re aware of your familial situation, Mrs Tonks,” Auror Henrix said, and Andromeda could barely contain her snort of amusement. What a nice euphemism for being tossed aside like garbage by her own parents. Her own sisters. “However, last night, Madam Lestrange was severely injured during an attempt to apprehend her at Malfoy Manor and - ”

 

“What?” Andromeda gripped her mug tightly with both hands. “What happened?”

 

Auror Henrix coughed lightly, looking embarrassed and ashamed. But all he said was, “I am not at liberty to discuss that.”

 

Andromeda slammed her mug down on the counter and started pacing. “How was she hurt?”

 

“She was disarmed and jumped out a second story window.”

 

Andromeda stopped dead in her tracks. “She what?”

 

“We are still searching for her. We found her jacket along a river bank about a mile downstream from the Manor.”

 

Andromeda’s heart skipped a beat. “A leather jacket?”

 

“How did you know?”

 

“Narcissa gave Bellatrix a jacket like that years ago. She wore it all the time.” Telling him the truth about the jacket would have drawn too much suspicion. Andromeda couldn't believe Bellatrix had kept it.

 

“Yes, well. We believe she may have fallen into the river and taken it off as it became waterlogged. As I said, we are still searching. It is possible that she may come here for aid.” Auror Henrix pulled out a seemingly ordinary business card and placed it on the table. “If you think of any information that would help us find her or if she turns up here, you can use this to contact me.”

 

Andromeda clenched her fists, nails digging into her palm and grounding her. “You said she fought Aurors at Malfoy Manor. My younger sister, Narcissa married Lucius Malfoy. They have a son. Were any of them injured?”

 

“I thought you hadn't spoken to them in years?”

 

Andromeda scoffed, a familiar haughty expression returning to her. She was a Black. She had taken lessons on pureblood haughtiness and condescension from the best. “I haven’t. However, if you ever bother to read the papers, you'll find the affairs of the pureblood families easy enough to follow.” She rolled her eyes. “If reading is too difficult for you, you  can try putting your observational skills to use and pay attention to some gossip.” Arching an eyebrow, in a move taken straight from her mother, she went in for the kill. “But I suppose they don't make Aurors like they used to, do they?”

 

Auror Henrix grit his teeth, his face tinged red, and tapped the business card with a finger. “Contact me if you recall any useful information.”

 

Ted showed the Aurors to the door. Andromeda waited for him in the kitchen, and when he returned they were both silent through an unspoken understanding until they heard the two cracks of Disapparation.

 

Ted began to speak, but Andromeda held up a finger to stop him. She pulled out her wand, pointed it at the card and said, “ _Incendio_.” The business card burned to ash, scorching the table underneath.

 

Andromeda banished the ashes. “What were you saying, Ted?” She studied the burn mark with a frown.

 

“What that necessary?”

 

Andromeda flashed him a humorless smile. “I’m a pureblood, Ted. I don’t trust Aurors as far as I can throw them.”

 

Ted gave her some space and spoke quietly. “How are holding up, Dromeda?”

 

Andromeda snatched up her mug off the counter and took a quick sip, wincing as it scalded her tongue and throat. Her voice was strained. “Fine. Why wouldn't I be?”

 

Ted gave her a look, both exasperated and sympathetic. “Because I know you. The way the Auror spoke it sounded like they don’t expect to find Bellatrix alive.”

 

Andromeda’s knuckles turned white around her mug. “Would serve her right.”

 

“You don't mean that,” Ted said gently.

 

“I hate her,” Andromeda said, her voice breaking, eyes watering.

 

Ted took the cup from her hands and set it on the counter. “No, you don't,” he said, drawing her into his arms.

 

She buried her face against his shoulder, fisting her hands in his shirt. Squeezing her eyes shut against the tears, she whispered brokenly, “I wish I did.”

 

“I know.”

 

That did it. She cried into his shirt. “I miss them. I wish I didn't...” Sniffling, she clung tighter and said, in a small scared voice, “If she came here...I think I’d help her. Merlin help me, I think I’d hide her.”

 

Ted took a slow deep breath and let it out. “I know. She’s your sister. I don't know if you’d go so far as to help her evade the Aurors, but I understand the impulse and...I would stand by you. Whatever you decided.”

 

Andromeda released a breath she hadn't realized she’d been holding. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” Ted kissed the top of her head. “Why...why don't we go do something fun today? Take Dora to Diagon Alley for the day or...or something.”

 

Closing her eyes and leaning against him, Andromeda smiled sadly. She appreciated the attempt to distract her. “That sounds lovely.”

 

She forgot all about the strange black dog.

 

*

 

Night enveloped Malfoy Manor, most of its occupants asleep save one. Narcissa sat in a rocking chair in the darkened nursery, holding Draco to her chest and staring unseeingly at the mobile above the empty crib. The Aurors had left some time ago, but Narcissa couldn't sleep. They found no trace of Bellatrix beyond the jacket from last night. Narcissa had kept busy that morning writing Howlers to multiple Ministry officials, including the Minister of Magic, over the behavior of the Aurors the previous night, stressing the danger they had put her son in and the use of an Unforgivable Curse by an Auror against an unarmed woman holding a baby. Her fury had kept her going most of the day. Once that was done, the only thing left to occupy her time was mending Bella’s necklace and jacket, which drained her of all her anger, leaving her only exhausted and distraught.

 

The sky outside began to lighten, the faint sound of bird songs hesitantly filling the air. Narcissa shifted in the rocking chair. She pulled Bella’s mended jacket further around her shoulders with one hand and then fiddled absently with Bella’s necklace, which she now wore.

 

The door opened, and Lucius slipped inside. “Darling, what are you doing here? Come back to bed.” He kept his voice low, eyes on Draco, who shifted a bit at the sound of his father’s voice.

 

Narcissa waited a moment for Draco to settle, shook her head and whispered, “I can't sleep.”

 

“I’m sure Bellatrix will be fine. She’s strong and a very capable witch.”

 

“She doesn't have her wand.” Narcissa held Draco tighter to her chest. “Merlin, Lucius, she jumped out a window! There was so much blood, so much...and if she fell in the river...”

 

Draco started to fuss. Lucius flicked his wand, and the mobile over the crib began to spin, playing a soothing lullaby as the hanging dragons came to life and gently flapped their wings while they bobbed among tiny twinkling balls of light. The delicate strings holding the ornaments were invisible in the dark, creating the illusion that the dragons really flew among the stars. Narcissa’s eyes stung with tears as she watched it. Bellatrix had bought the mobile for Draco after Narcissa told her she and Lucius had settled on a name.

 

Narcissa pointed to the stuffed wolf in Draco’s crib. Lucius levitated the toy into Draco’s arms, and Draco held it tightly in his tiny hands as he fell back to sleep. The toy was another gift Bellatrix had given him. It had been only a few weeks ago that she had presented it to Draco with a mischievous and smug look that Narcissa hadn’t understood. “I bought it on a whim,” Bella had said, which Narcissa believed but knew there was something more to it that had resulted in that particular toy catching her sister’s eye.

 

“Come to bed, dear,” Lucius whispered again. He looked like he wanted to say something more, perhaps another comment about how she would ruin Draco with all her coddling, but thought better of it. Lucius wasn't a bad father, but he was a distant one in the same way her own parents had been distant, the way she could not bring herself to be with so much of her family lost to her or in danger.

 

Even as reckless and confident in victory as Bellatrix had been, she had accepted how important it was to Narcissa that Draco’s care not be left to house elves in a way that Lucius had not. It was the source of several fights that Draco’s aunt was more present in his life than his own father. Especially now when there was a real possibility that Lucius could go to Azkaban.

 

“Please, dear,” Lucius said, a hint of pleading in his tone now. “You must take care of yourself. For Draco, if for nothing else. I'm sure Bellatrix wouldn’t want you to neglect yourself. And she’ll skin me alive if I allow you to.”

 

Narcissa smiled sadly at that. Lucius tried to sound convincing, but she heard the waver of uncertainty in his voice when he spoke of Bellatrix. He didn't hold much hope for her survival.

 

But he was right about Draco, at least. She had to try to keep herself together for him. Reluctantly, Narcissa rose from the chair, Bella’s jacket sliding from her shoulders. She let it hang over the back of the chair. She kissed Draco’s forehead, set him in his crib and followed Lucius out the door.

 

The mobile spun on.


	3. The Forbidden Forest

For three days, Bellatrix wandered in what she hoped was the direction of Hogwarts while she got used to getting by without magic. Catching her own food was difficult, and more than once her impatience and temper cost her a meal. It was degrading and humiliating. Outwitted by rodents. But hunger was a harsh teacher, and she learned to stay down wind and stalk her prey, master her frustration, and wait for her moment to strike.

 

Her first kill was a salve to her wounded ego. She was so hungry, she didn't even care about her status, her pride, or her dignity as a member of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black and most feared lieutenant of the Dark Lord as she ripped chunks of flesh from the rabbit. The blood that flooded into her mouth gave her pause for only a moment. She had expected the taste of blood and raw flesh and fur to be a more disgusting combination than it was, but to her wolf’s mouth and her empty stomach it tasted delicious.

 

It wasn't enough to fill her stomach, but it would do for then. The ache in her belly had eased and her limbs felt stronger, her mind clearer, her body infused with new energy. Bellatrix licked the blood from her chops and continued heading north. By mid afternoon, she stumbled upon a familiar patch of scenery, one she hadn’t seen in over a decade but which she vividly remembered all the same.

 

Excited, she searched the area. There! Train tracks! The Hogwarts Express tracks to be exact. She was heading in the right direction, and all she needed was to follow the tracks to their destination.

 

On foot, Hogwarts was still days away, she estimated. Briefly she worried about being out in the open for so long, but the tracks passed through empty countryside. She wouldn't be seen, and as long as she remained in her Animagus form, no one would recognize her even if they did.

 

Yes, this would be the best way to proceed, she decided, and began to trot alongside the tracks.

 

Another benefit to being an Animagus that she had not appreciated until now was the dull, somewhat fuzzy edge to her emotions while shifted. The road was long and boring, making it easy for her mind to wander. There were quite a few things she did not want to think about, like Cissy’s horrified face at Draco being in danger. Had it only been Draco who caused such a reaction? Had Cissy been worried about her at all? Bellatrix snorted. She was being stupid. Of course Cissy had worried for her. Cissy loved her. Unlike Andy who apparently couldn't stand the sight of even her own daughter resembling Bellatrix.

 

Bellatrix stopped, shook her head and then gave a full body shake, refocusing herself. It was easier than if she had been human to push those thoughts from her mind. Purpose clear once more, she continued on. She focused on the sounds and smells around her, and when she could not keep her mind calm and silent, she focused on her plans. When that didn't work, she hunted. Killing never failed to calm her. There was something uniquely satisfying about killing without magic. She even had begun to take some pride in her kills.

 

No matter her current lot in life, she was a Black, and Blacks excelled in all they set their minds too. In every aspect, she thought, a vague echo of her mother’s voice as she crushed the bones of an unfortunate hare between her teeth.

 

About a week later, she reached the train station in the dead of night. It was deserted, as expected, and she felt some tension ease from her muscles. She had harbored an anxiety that after everything, she would be caught so close to her goal. But there was no one in sight as she followed the path to the boats that she had taken in her first year - the same path that Andy and Cissy had taken after her, the thought making her feel closer to her sisters as her paws tread the same ground their feet had over a decade before; and closer still as she allowed herself to indulge in a moment of weakness and think of how Andy’s daughter would walk this path soon, and Draco too someday. Then she reached the boats and shook the feeling off, trotting along the side of the Black Lake opposite the direction the carriages went, keeping the lake between her and Hogwarts. It would not do to dwell on Andromeda, the blood traitor, or on her half-blood offspring. She didn't care about Andy anymore, after all. Her moment of weakness was just that, brought on by exhaustion.

 

The last leg of the journey was easiest. Bellatrix followed the edge of the Lake. It's surface glittered with the lights of the castle, but Bellatrix’s black fur melted into the darkness. She slipped into the Forbidden Forest with ease, nothing more than a shadow.

 

The nights were cold now, and she was tired. She found some thick bushes to crawl under where she would be hidden from sight. Curling up, she was thankful for her thick fur.

 

She would begin her search tomorrow. With that thought, Bellatrix drifted asleep, lulled by the sound of a wolf pack howling in the distance.

 

*

 

Narcissa jerked awake. The bedroom was dark, lit only by moonlight filtering through the curtains. The Manor was silent. She sat up, tense and alarmed, without knowing why. Snatching her wand off the nightstand, she muttered a spell to reveal the time: three in the morning.

 

Sighing, she realized what had woken her. Draco had not slept through the night for the last week and a half. Not since the night Bella...

 

Swallowing hard, she refused to finish that thought. She wouldn't give up hope on her sister.

 

Every night since that night, she had been woken by one of the house elves around two thirty in the morning. Could it be possible that Draco was beginning to sleep through the night again? Surely if the house elves hadn't come to fetch her then everything was fine. Sighing again, she began to creep out of bed, not wanting to wake Lucius. The niggling worry in the back of her mind wouldn't go away unless she checked on her son.

 

Halfway out of bed, she realized Lucius wasn't there. She placed a hand on his side of the mattress. Still warm. He hadn't been gone long. Frowning, she went to check on Draco, resolving to find Lucius later. He hadn't been having any trouble sleeping as far as she could tell, aside from when she woke him up accidentally.

 

Narcissa yawned as she padded down the hallway. She hadn’t slept well in over a week, between Draco and her own worries. Yesterday, Lucius had tried to convince her to let the house elves take care of Draco for at least one night. Narcissa had been furious, which she could tell he had expected. What he hadn't expected was for her to pause a moment mid-tirade and then burst into tears.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, brow furrowed in worry.

 

“Bella tried to convince me to let the house elves take care of Draco one night too. But she realized how important it is to me...she...why can't you do the same?” She had covered her face with her hands. “I miss Bella...”

 

Lucius had held her while she cried and said nothing more on the subject.

 

She reached the nursery. The door stood ajar. Curious, she poked her head inside.

 

Lucius stood by the crib, Draco in his arms. He looked awkward and tired, but he swayed gently from side to side. He looked up, blinking against the light from the hallway and frowned.

 

“I told the house elf not to wake you,” he whispered.

 

Narcissa smiled gently, emotion swelling in her chest until it ached feeling fit to burst. “I woke up on my own. I'm so used to it now...” She stepped inside. “What are you doing here?”

 

Lucius glanced away from her, looking uncomfortable. “The elf woke me when it came to wake you. You’ve been so tired lately with...with everything...” He cleared his throat. “I thought I would let you sleep tonight.”

 

Narcissa smiled, placing a hand on his cheek. “You could have told the house elf to take care of Draco.”

 

Lucius shrugged one shoulder. “And be murdered in my sleep when you found out? I’ll pass,” he drawled. Then, more seriously, he said, “I know how important this is to you. I should have made the effort sooner. I’m sorry.”

 

Narcissa kissed him softly. “Thank you.” She pulled back, still smiling. “I think Draco is ready to be put back in his crib. Let’s try to get some sleep ourselves. Or...” She leaned forward to speak in his ear, a finger trailing lightly along his collarbone. “Since we’re both awake...”

 

Lucius’s eyes widened. He nodded and put Draco back in his crib as hastily as he could without waking him and then let Narcissa take his hand and lead him back to their bed.

 

*

 

To Bellatrix’s bitter disappointment, stealing a wand turned out to be more difficult than she had thought. She had been overly optimistic about the number of troublemakers willing to wander into the Forbidden Forest. Few were coming near it, though whether that was because of the colder weather driving them to stick close to the castle or if the current crop of students were boring and spineless, she didn't know. She hoped the former because snatching a wand would require she be able to get close enough to take the wand in her teeth. She didn't dare let herself be seen in person or else the Aurors would be all over the forest.

 

It was weeks before any students came near the edge of the forest. Three First Years, strolling along several feet from the trees, laughing and - Bellatrix felt a thrill of excitement and desperation - with wands out, practicing some simple spells. They were further from the tree line than she would have liked and within sight of the Groundskeeper's Hut. They would likely see her coming, and she would have only seconds before Hagrid burst out of his hut when the boys undoubtedly started screaming.

 

It was too risky. It was a chance she should pass up. She should wait for a better opportunity to present itself.

 

But how long would that take? She had been without a wand for far too long. How was she to search the deepest parts of the forest if she could not defend herself?

 

She bolted from the tree line. Almost immediately she knew she had made too much noise. The three boys turned to face her. They screamed and scrambled away from her. She leapt on the middle one who had been slower to move, knocking him to the ground. He threw his hands up in front of him. Tears streamed down his pale face and he gasped for breath under her weight on his chest. Bellatrix snapped at his hand, trying to grab his wand, but he shoved his hands against her throat, trying futilely to push her off of him, and she couldn't quite bring her jaws around -

 

A tremendous bang and a roar of “GET OFF ‘IM” made Bellatrix leap away from the boy. She sprinted for the tree line. A crossbow bolt whizzed just past her ear and embedded itself deeply in the tree in front of her. Before Hagrid could load another bolt, she was in the trees. She didn't stop running.

 

Cissy always said she was too impulsive.

 

After that the students gave the forest a wide berth and Hagrid patrolled its edges, forcing Bellatrix to give up on her plans to acquire a wand for the near future. She fumed, her pride injured. She was a Black, a pureblood witch of one of the most ancient and noble families in existence! To be forced to steal a wand, let alone a child’s wand, was bad enough, but to be forced to live without the ability to perform magic was a humiliating insult.

 

But if she continued to act rashly, she would be caught and sent to Azkaban. She forced herself to calm down. While she would gladly endure the prison for her Lord, she desired more to be able to find him, to help him. This injustice, being forced to hide and live as an animal and without a wand, she would bear for her Lord. When she found him, she would be rewarded beyond her wildest dreams.

 

Accepting that it would be some time before she could acquire a wand and that it would be too risky to remain close to the edge of the forest with Hagrid doing frequent patrols, she turned to spending her time exploring the parts of the forest that she could and hunting, gradually traveling deeper. The forest was not safe, but an animal, it seemed, stood out less to the creatures of the forest than a human would. And with the days and nights growing ever colder as winter set in, her fur coat kept her warm and dry; certainly warmer than a fire would have, without any of the associated risks with drawing the attention of the creatures lurking in the forest or the attention of Hagrid who often wondered deeper than anyone else would dare.

 

Winter came, and with it a thick blanket of snow over the forest floor. Often she heard a wolf pack howling in the distance, deeper in the forest. When she had been in school, those howls were the source of rumors that werewolves lived in the Forbidden Forest. How anyone could honestly believed werewolves would be allowed to roam freely so close to the school boggled Bellatrix’s mind - or it would have, if she did not have such a low opinion of the of the intelligence of the average witch and wizard. There was no doubt in her mind that this was not an ordinary wolf pack, and she felt a pull to find them. She resisted the impulse.

 

They were unlikely to welcome outsiders.

 

Weeks later, her resolve crumbled. Bellatrix’s stomach growled, hunger gnawing at her insides as she watched the third rabbit of the day get away. Another in two weeks - or was it three? It was getting harder to keep track - worth of unsuccessful hunts.

 

The snow slowed her down and provided plenty of cover for her prey. She didn't know how to hunt in it, and she still couldn't venture near the school with Hagrid’s patrols or she would have attempted to snatch one of his chickens. As it was, she was exhausted, starving, desperate.

 

A howl pierced the quiet of the dusk. It was a beautiful sound, one she loved hearing. She lay down in the snow, closed her eyes and listened. _I could die here,_ she thought, suddenly struck by the possibility with a clarity that she had not felt previously. She had struggled with hunting since it began to snow over a month ago, and it only became more difficult the further winter progressed. It would be a miracle if she survived until spring.

 

_I’m going to starve here or be killed by that oaf or..._ She huffed, unable to chuckle darkly. _It’s a good thing Cissy already thinks I’m dead. It’s going to be true soon._

 

That thought ached painfully deep in her chest. She was tired, so tired and so very lonely, and she made Cissy think she was dead; all her reasons melted away at that moment, leaving only the thought that she had deliberately hurt her baby sister, that her actions may have left her all alone.

 

Overwhelmed, Bellatrix threw back her head as a pitiful howl wrenched itself from her throat.

 

Her howl trailed off, and she laid her head in the snow. It had been almost two months, she guessed, since she had gone into hiding. It had to be close to Christmas. Lucius’s trial would be soon - or had it already passed? She wasn't sure. Had Lucius gone to Azkaban? Would Narcissa spend Christmas alone in an empty manor raising Draco by herself? Was Draco alright? Maybe she could steal a paper from Hogsmeade...

 

A howl reached her ears. It seemed...closer...than before. Different too. An answer to her own, maybe?

 

Tentatively, Bellatrix howled again. The forest was silent for several minutes. And then she heard another howl, definitely in answer this time. Was the pack seeking her out? She howled one more time then, exhausted, rested her head on the ground and dozed.

 

When she heard the crunch of snow, Bellatrix tried to force herself to her feet. She made it halfway before collapsing again. Something sniffed nearby. Wolves emerged from the trees. They were beautiful, especially against the snowy ground and leafless trees, with intelligent eyes shining with curiosity. No ordinary wolves then, as she had expected.

 

Two of the wolves approached her, one with pure white fur and another with grey but which was no less stunning than its mate. They sniffed at her, nudged her head and neck with their noses. Drew back, regarded her, shared a look and a few low growls. Then the grey wolf lay down beside her, resting its head on her neck, and the white wolf vanished among the trees with the rest of the pack.

 

Bellatrix didn't know what was happening. At this point, she couldn't bring herself to care. Simply too much energy was required. But this was nice, the feeling of another warm body pressed against her own, feeling almost protective. It reminded of her of nights when Cissy and Andromeda were young, and they sought her out in the night after a bad dream.

 

The forest darkened. The wolf remained by her side. Where had the others gone? Why had this one remained? Was she even closer to death than she thought and these creatures were showing her an unexpected kindness by ensuring she was not alone when she passed?

 

The wolves howled again. They sounded fairly close. The grey wolf lifted her head and howled back. Bellatrix dozed again until she heard something heavy dragging across the ground accompanied by the sound of growling. Opening her eyes, she saw the wolf pack returning, awkwardly dragging along a deer carcass.

 

The grey wolf nudged Bellatrix then stood. The white wolf came to stand at her other side. Both nudged and nuzzled and licked at her muzzle. Finally, her sluggish brain processed what was happening: they had likely been hunting when they heard her cries and postponed their hunt to look for her. Finding her weak and starving, one of the alphas had stayed with her so the pack could find her again and bring their meal with them.

 

Bellatrix would never admit to the feeling of warmth that bloomed in her chest and gave her the strength to get to her feet. Her legs wobbled and her body trembled, but the alphas pressed against her on either side, helping her stay upright. She collapsed again next to the deer carcass and tore desperately at the tender flesh of its belly. The pack clustered around the feast now that she was settled and ripped into it.

 

*

 

The wolves took her in, and Bellatrix stayed with them through the winter. They taught her to speak their language - they did not speak of alphas but of _mother_ and _father_ ; not of a rigid hierarchy but of _brother_ and _sister_ ; not a struggle for dominance but of _cooperation_ and _family squabbles_ and _leaving to find our mates and make our own families when the time is right_. They taught her how to hunt large prey as a pack and how to hunt small prey in the snow on her own. Huddling together in a pile to sleep, they showed her warmth and safety and comfort could exist even in the darkness of the Forbidden Forest, where dangers lurked in shadows and trees, and in the harshness of winter when survival was a challenge.

 

They taught her what their pack meant. It meant _Narcissa_ and _Draco_ and _once upon a time, Andromeda._ That last plucked painfully at her heart, but what would wolves know of humans and magic and bloodlines and pureblood superiority?

 

Bellatrix stayed with them through the winter. Spring came and the wolf pack seemed to sense that she would be leaving soon. They made her the center of their cuddle pile that night, and they all nuzzled her head and neck in the morning, licked her muzzle, and watched her go.

 

Bellatrix felt an ache deep in chest as she left the pack, but she had a mission. It had been several months since she came to the Forbidden Forest and she had made no progress in her search. She did not despair. She had learned much in her time with the wolves that would serve her well in her mission, and the Forest was large and deep and must be tread ever more cautiously the further one went in - and no one knew she was here. She had all the time in the world to find her Lord.

 

Sometimes, she thought about her sisters. Narcissa, mostly, though sometimes she recalled fond memories of Andromeda - of playing in the gardens while hiding from music tutors, of teasing Narcissa with her about various crushes, of the summer after her First Year when Narcissa and Andromeda insisted on sleeping in her room her first night home from Hogwarts because they had missed her so much (how she didn't mind at all even as she made token protests because she had missed them too), of how they did the same thing the summer after Andromeda’s First and Second Years at Hogwarts because Narcissa was miserable and lonely when they were gone.

 

Bellatrix would never admit thinking about Andromeda much less missing her to anyone, not even Cissy. It was better that way. Safer.

 

Other times, she wondered how Narcissa was fairing. Was Lucius in prison? How was Cissy holding up? Was Draco alright?

 

And she wondered, far more often than she would like, if her sisters missed her as much as she missed them.

 

*

 

Summer passed and winter came again. One year she had been searching for her Master in this place. The going was slow; survival took up much of her time and energy. Parts of the forest were near inaccessible due to the creatures that lived there. The Acromantulas were the worst, the centaurs a close second. The Thestrals, surprisingly, were very accepting of her presence, and often Bellatrix found herself in their company. She had never been a people person - people only wanted something from you or wanted what you had and as such needed to be kept at arm's length - but she hadn’t spoken to or interacted with another person in a little over a year. To her surprise, she missed human contact: more than just her sister and nephew, she longed to just simply be among people. She lurked around the edges of the forest, spending some days just lying still and listening to the sounds of students laughing or near Hogsmeade soaking in the sounds of the bustling town.

 

The Thestrals couldn't take the place of human contact, but they were some of the more sociable animals in the forest and they didn't consider her prey which made them one of her few choices for companionship. On occasion, the Thestrals would share their kills - not as the wolves had done by hunting with her but by allowing her to eat something of kills they had made on their own, something Bellatrix was ashamed to admit she found touching.

 

As the days and nights got colder, Bellatrix made her way back to the wolf pack which greeted her happily.

 

Winter passed and came again.

 

*

 

The living room in Malfoy Manor was warm and cozy, with a fire crackling and popping in the fireplace. Out the windows, Narcissa could see big snowflakes drifting downward in the dim light of twilight. Narcissa and Lucius sat in opposite ends of a long couch facing the fire; Lucius read the _Evening Prophet_ while Narcissa stared unseeingly at the same spot in her book, one hand toying with the ends of her long, blonde hair. Draco had slid off of the couch between them to kneel on the floor by the coffee table, tongue poking between his teeth as he focused on his drawing.

 

Narcissa glanced out the window. Christmas was only a few days away, and it looked like they would have a good layer of snow for it. A small smile graced her lips. She had always loved snow, and she was grateful that Draco had inherited that from her. Bellatrix hated the snow; it was too cold and wet and miserable, and yet none of that had ever stopped her from going out in it with Narcissa and Andromeda as children and, later, with only Narcissa, though Bellatrix complained the whole time, every time.

 

_Would she have gone outside with Draco?_ she wondered, and her heart answered _yes, and she would have pretended to love it - at least until he was older_ and she felt a sharp pang of loneliness and grief. She gasped softly, blinking back tears.

 

Lucius looked up at her. She kept her eyes on her book.

 

“I've been thinking,” Narcissa said, her voice dispassionate, “that I might like to dye my hair. Not completely, but I think I could pull off a two-toned look quite nicely.” She looked to Lucius. “What do you think, dear?”

 

Lucius frowned. “What’s wrong with your natural hair color?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

He pursed his lips. Reaching out to touch her hair and letting strands of it slip through his fingers, he asked, “What color?”

 

A beat and then, “Black.”

 

And at that, she saw whatever else it was that Lucius might have said or wanted to say die on his lips. The frown disappeared, his eyes softened. He tucked her hair behind her ear and when he spoke his voice was gentle.

 

“I think you would look beautiful, my dear.”

 

Narcissa smiled at him.

 

Draco squinted up at her. “Black like Aunt Bella’s?”

 

“Yes.” _And like Andromeda’s too,_ she thought but no one needed to know that.

 

Draco studied her and then nodded firmly. “You’d be pretty.”

 

Narcissa chuckled, the pain easing a little. “Are you saying I’m not pretty now?”

 

Draco’s eyes widened. Panicked, he looked to his father.

 

Lucius smirked and shook his head. “Yes, Draco, are you calling your mother ugly?”

 

Draco’s eyes bugged out of his head. Narcissa laughed, scooping him up into her lap. She kissed the top of his head.

 

“It’s alright, Draco. I’m only teasing,” she said, and Draco relaxed. “I'm glad you think I’ll still be pretty.” She glanced at the clock. “It’s getting late. You should get to bed, young man. Lucius, would you...?”

 

“Of course, dear.” Understanding her unspoken request for solitude, he picked up Draco and kissed her cheek.

 

“My drawing,” Draco mumbled against his father’s shoulder.

 

“It will be there in the morning,” Lucius said. “You can work on it then.”

 

“M’kay,” Draco said, laying his head on Lucius’s shoulder.

 

“Goodnight, Draco. I love you,” Narcissa said.

 

“Love you, Mummy.”

 

Once Lucius had taken Draco from the room, Narcissa set her book on the coffee table beside Draco’s drawing. She gathered up the crayons, putting them back in the box and smiled at his crude drawing of the mansion and the peacocks in the gardens.

 

A walk in the gardens, even in the snow and dark, sounded wonderful to her right then. She paused in the entryway to grab Bellatrix’s leather jacket and a knit cap from the closet before heading out.

 

Snow fell gently, and the lights in the gardens cast a soft glow over everything. Narcissa pulled Bellatrix’s coat tighter around her; she and Andromeda had enchanted it with warming spells after they bought it, something Bellatrix had been particularly thrilled about. Narcissa had reapplied the preservation spells Bellatrix had used to keep the coat in good condition, and she liked to imagine that the spells preserved Bellatrix’s scent; if it was warm and smelled like her sister, she could almost convince herself that wearing the jacket was as good as getting a hug even as she felt incredibly pathetic every time she drew closeness and comfort from it.

 

She stood passed the steps, staring at the falling snow, one hand playing with Bella’s bird skull necklace - another item she had taken to wearing, this one everyday. Maybe one day she could give these things back to Bella, she hoped. It was strange the way a part of her clung to hope that Bella still lived while a large part of her knew, logically, that Bella was dead. With her injuries, with no wand and no medical attention, with all the evidence, it was the only logical conclusion even if a body had never been found, even if the Ministry were still looking for her.

 

That was the problem right there, she thought. A lack of closure. As long as the mere possibility remained, a part of her would hope. Closing her eyes, tears slipping down her cheeks, she wrapped a hand tight around the necklace, ignoring the way points and edges dug painfully into her skin.

 

_Wherever you are, Bella, I hope you're happy and warm,_ she thought, and miles away, in the Forbidden Forest, Bellatrix shifted in her sleep, burrowing deeper into a slumbering pile of wolves.

 

*

 

Four winters had passed since Bellatrix had started living in the Forbidden Forest, if she counted correctly, and the newest batch of Hogwarts students featured a curious girl whose hair and features constantly morphed. It was something she had seen before, something curiously familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. Most often the girl had short pink hair, and she liked to spend her time by the Black Lake like Bellatrix and Andromeda had liked to do during their school years. Cissy hadn't appreciated the beauty of the lake the way they had, but she would have followed them anywhere in those days so she would sit beside them at the lake shore even as she complained of the cold and of the wind messing up her hair.

 

But enjoying the Lake was not unique to her or her sisters so why did this girl make her think of them? Bellatrix watched her often from the edge of the forest, trying to remember why she felt drawn to this girl.

 

Also, she wondered belatedly, when had she begun to measure time in seasons and referring to herself as _living_ in the Forest rather than merely searching it?

 

Her head momentarily came up off her paws as she heaved a sigh. Lots of strange thoughts had made their way into her mind lately, now that she thought of it.

 

She was pulled from her thoughts at the sound of panicked shouts coming the Quidditch Pitch where the First Years were learning to fly. A broom shot over the stands and out over the lake, a small girl with pink hair clinging to it, laying almost flat against the broom.

 

“Nymphadora!” someone cried while Madam Hooch yelled, “Miss Tonks! Turn the broom, lean to the - ”

 

Tonks. Ted Tonks. Andromeda. Bellatrix’s head shot up, ears flattening in alarm, her whole body tensing. Her niece. The pink haired girl was family, her sister’s daughter, though Bellatrix had never met her. To her confusion, she could not quite remember why. What would have kept her from meeting Andromeda’s daughter...?

 

She watched the broom streak over the Black Lake and then, to Bella’s dismay, Dora leaned to the left, trying to following Madam Hooch’s instructions, and slipped, fell, crashed into the lake.

 

Bella bounded to the lake and leapt in, feet kicking furiously. She had never tried to swim in her Animagus form, and her increasing panic at Nymphadora having not yet broken the surface of the water only made her struggle more difficult. After a few moments, though, some instinct kicked in and her movements came together and she paddled as hard as she could toward where she had last seen her niece. After another few agonizing seconds, a pink haired head broke the surface of the water. Nymphadora gasped, flailing and sputtering, struggling to keep her head above the surface.

 

Though it felt like forever, it took Bellatrix a minute or two to reach her niece, and she grabbed the sleeve of Nymphadora’s heavy water logged robe in her teeth. Nymphadora finally noticed her and screamed. Bellatrix tried paddling backwards, tugging Nymphadora with her.

 

A second later, Nymphadora stopped screaming and splashed closer to Bellatrix. She wrapped an arm around Bellatrix’s neck and coughed violently as she swallowed water. She weighed a ton in her water logged robes, and though Nymphadora tried her best to help swim as much as she could on her own, Bellatrix felt herself tiring quickly. Her lungs burned, and she swallowed water again and again. Her legs began to cramp. Her head kept being forced as Nymphadora tried to keep her own head above water.

 

But Bellatrix kept going, even when her strokes in the water became less coordinated, her lungs seared with pain, and her vision began dimming. They were close to the shore but not close enough. Perhaps if she transformed, she could make it... Desperately, she tried to transform back but she couldn't concentrate, couldn't...couldn’t...

 

She started to slip under the water and Nymphadora started screaming and crying but they were close enough that maybe she could make it, where was Madam Hooch, shouldn't she be here by now...?

 

Bellatrix slipped under the surface...

 

Something large brushed against her belly from below and then wrapped around her body. She was lifted above the water. Blearily, she searched for Nymphadora. Nymphadora was held above the water, wrapped securely in a massive tentacle, both of them gliding toward the shore. Nymphadora spotted her and stopped crying, a huge grin breaking out across her face.

 

“You’re ok! It’s the Giant Squid. He saved us, don't worry.” Then, looking up, she shouted, “Madam Hooch!”

 

Bellatrix blinked and tried to find Madam Hooch, but she was too tired to lift her head.

 

“Madam Hooch is coming, she’ll be here any second, and I bet Hagrid can fix you right up, don't worry.”

 

Bellatrix groaned. That was the last thing she needed.

 

Finally, Bellatrix’s paws touched grass. The Squid set them down gently and slipped back under the water.

 

Hands touched Bellatrix’s face and side, running along her fur.

 

“You saved me,” Dora whispered. “Thank you.”

 

Bellatrix forced herself to raise her head. Dora stared at her with awe and confusion. Past her shoulder, Bella saw Madam Hooch speeding toward them on a broom. She couldn't stay here. Wearily, she got to her feet.

 

Dora pulled out her wand. “Wait, let me at least dry your fur! It’s a simple spell, I’ve almost got the hang of it, I’m sure...”

 

But Bellatrix trotted into the forest, ignoring Dora calling after her. She kept going until she was out of sight of the castle and collapsed under a tree to rest.

 

It would have been a perfect opportunity to steal Dora’s wand, but the thought had not crossed Bellatrix’s mind and never would.

 

*

 

Bellatrix kept away from the edges of the Forest the next few days, unable to trust herself. Loneliness clawed at her insides. She missed Cissy, she missed Draco. Sometimes she even missed Lucius and that told her all she needed to know about her mental state.

 

Maybe she could go back, should go back. She could hide inside Malfoy Manor, surely - no. The Aurors were undoubtedly watching the place, and if she got caught, Cissy would go to Azkaban too. Lucius as well, most likely, as it was nothing short of a miracle that he had escaped being sentenced there. Three years ago, she had stolen a few newspapers from behind the Hogshead, and reading between the lines of a few articles mentioning the Malfoys, it was clear that Lucius was still regarded with deep suspicion and would be highly monitored by the Aurors. If they were caught and all three of them went to Azkaban, where would that leave Draco?

 

But perhaps no one needed to know it was her. Perhaps she could pass herself off as a stray dog. Some exotic breed. Draco would be...five now, yes? Yes. Perfect age for a loyal canine companion.

 

Bellatrix snorted. Even as she thought it, she knew Cissy would never allow a strange animal into her home.

 

But maybe Andromeda...

 

Bellatrix shook her head. No. She had to think of her mission. She was here to find...to find...the Dark Lord. That was it. How could she have forgotten, even for a moment...?

 

A wolf howled deeper in the forest. She listened as the pack joined in and after a minute the howls died away. Though she never sought them out outside the winter months, Bellatrix always listened to the wolves, enjoying their songs and part of her anticipated being one of the voices in their chorus again. She felt an ache of longing in her chest, a tug pulling her toward the wolves. An old objection popped into her head: it would be a distraction from her mission; there should be no more distractions, there were already too many -

 

But tonight Bellatrix needed a distraction. She threw back her head and howled. Silence. Then she received an answering howl. She trotted deeper into the forest, stopping periodically to howl again. Each time she received an answer. On it went, call and response, call and response, until finally she found them.

 

The white wolf and the grey walked over to her as soon as they saw her and nuzzled her and licked her muzzle. As always, it was a strange, comforting, accepting gesture, and Bellatrix couldn't stop her whine of happiness. The rest of the wolves were largely unfamiliar to her, only a few of the youngest still around since last winter, but they greeted her, accepting without question now, and Bellatrix felt the heavy, aching weight in her chest ease just a little.

 

*

 

Bellatrix stayed with the wolf pack through winter as she usually did, but when spring rolled around, she found she could not bring herself to leave them as she usually did. So she stayed with them and helped to protect the leaders as they made a den, and helped bring food back when the grey wolf was too heavily pregnant to hunt or travel far, and when the pups were born, the pack taught her how to help care for them and how to teach them to be wolves.

 

She learned things she did not - could not - over the winter like paths and hunting grounds that were no good in the winter when prey left or snow and ice made them inaccessible. The wolves went places in the Forest that Bellatrix had never dared to go, keeping each other safe from the things that lurked there. They accepted Bellatrix as one of their own, showing no desire to chase her away when hunting and survival was easier, though they knew she wasn't quite a wolf and they did not seem to mind when she went off on her own.

 

Bellatrix continued her search for the Dark Lord but as time passed, she found herself wandering without remembering what it was she was looking for. Then she would remember and increase her efforts, panicked and confused and ill at ease, only to eventually forget again.

 

The times between remembering grew longer and longer until, one day, she simply didn't remember at all.


	4. The Softer Words

Narcissa stood in the entry hall, arms crossed, tapping the fingers of one hand against her arm in aggravation. The Auror department had “requested” a meeting with her. About what, they wouldn't say, and she couldn't think of anything they could want. They had just conducted another raid of her home a few weeks ago looking for dark magic and relics. Turning up empty handed as always, she thought with a snort.  What pure-blooded family in their right mind would leave dark objects lying around where Aurors could find them? It was insulting.

 

A knock on the door. Narcissa waved her wand, opening it. Two Aurors entered. She recognized Auror Henrix, the lead Auror from that night five years ago. The other Auror, a tall black man, was unfamiliar to her, but what caught her eye was the long thin lockbox in his hands.

 

Auror Henrix cleared his throat. “Madam Malfoy, I hope you're well. This is Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt.”

 

Shacklebolt inclined his head politely. “Good afternoon, Madam Malfoy.” His voice was deep and soothing.

 

Narcissa bit back a sigh and, falling back on her upbringing, said politely, “And to you as well. How may I help you, gentlemen?”

 

“It’s about your sister, Bellatrix Lestrange,” Auror Henrix said, and Narcissa felt her heart lurch. “There have been no leads in our investigation over the past five years, and given the injuries she sustained that night, the Ministry has unofficially called off the search.”

 

Narcissa blinked back tears that seared her eyes.

 

Auror Henrix gestured to Shacklebolt who stepped forward and tapped the lockbox with his wand.

 

“Officially, the Ministry will claim we are still searching for her. But for all intents and purposes, the Ministry has declared Bellatrix Lestrange dead,” Officer Henrix said. “As such, certain possessions of Madam Lestrange fall to you as the next of kin.”

 

Shacklebolt opened the lockbox. Narcissa sucked in a sharp breath. With trembling fingers, she carefully lifted her sister’s wand out of the box.

 

“Her Gringotts key is also yours since Mr Lestrange is in Azkaban.” Shacklebolt gestured to the key still nestled in the box. He held the box out to her, and Narcissa took it. She forced her expression to remain neutral.

 

“Thank you,” she said, and if either Auror noticed the slight crack in her voice then both were good enough to pretend they hadn't. “Is there anything else?”

 

“No, that will be all, Madam Malfoy,” Shacklebolt said in his deep, soothing voice. “There are other legal documents beneath the cushion transferring Madam Lestrange’s belongings and assets into your possession. But we have taken up enough of your time.” The way he said it made her think he was too polite to say ‘we will leave you to your grief’ or ‘we will let you mourn in peace’, and for that she was grateful. It was difficult to keep her composure now.

 

She barely noticed the Aurors stepping outside, too lost in staring at Bella’s wand, but Shacklebolt turned back to her before leaving and said, “I am sorry for your loss.”

 

Narcissa almost believed he meant it. Almost.

 

*

 

It was several long minutes after the Aurors left before Narcissa sank to her knees, sobbing, clutching the lockbox to her chest the same way she had clutched Bella’s jacket that night all those years ago. Her whole body shuddered and somewhere something made a terrible keening noise. Only when tiny hands touched her face, tugged at her robes, brushed through her two-toned hair and a small scared voice said “Mummy?” did she realize the keening came from her.

 

She struggled to reign in her emotions. “I’m sorry, Draco, I’m sorry, I didn't mean for you to see - ”

 

But Draco was already scampering away. Minutes later Lucius rushed into the room, Draco running after him. His eyes were wide and panicked. He dropped to his knees beside her and wrapped his arms around her.

 

“Narcissa, what's wrong? Are you alright? What happened - ” His eyes fell on the box clutched to her chest and the wand still held tight in one hand. “I see.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m so sorry, Narcissa.”

 

Narcissa sagged against him, burying her face in his chest. “I knew... Logically there was no way she could have... But still I...I hoped but...if even the Ministry isn't looking anymore...” She clutched at his robes with the hand still holding Bellatrix’s wand. “She’s gone, isn't she? She’s really gone, and I...” Sobs tore from her throat and that horrible keening.

 

Lucius picked her up in his arms. “Let's get you to bed, dear. Draco, come with me. Your mother needs us.”

 

Narcissa shook her head. “No, no, I never meant for Draco to see me like this, he shouldn't have to see - ”

 

“I know you didn't. You’re always much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Let us be strong for you this time,” Lucius said gently.

 

“But your meeting with the Minister, you should be - ” Her brow furrowed and she frowned. “You should be at the Ministry. What are you doing here?”

 

“Draco floo called me. Terrified half the department when his head appeared in the fire, and he started screaming for me.” Lucius chuckled. “I imagine no one is expecting me back for a while after that.”

 

“Oh, Merlin,” Narcissa moaned in embarrassment. “Please don't tell them I had a breakdown.”

 

“If anyone asks you tripped down the grand staircase and gave poor Draco quite the fright,” Lucius said dutifully.

 

“That makes me sound clumsy.”

 

“We'll work out the details later.”

 

“Good.”

 

Halfway down the hall of their private wing, Draco broke off from them to duck into his own room. He came back, arms wrapped tight around something, but it wasn't until Lucius set her down on their bed and Draco scrambled up to sit with her, that she saw clearly what it was: a well-worn stuffed black wolf.

 

“Here.” Draco rested the wolf on her chest. “You need Bella more than me.”

 

Narcissa cupped the back of Draco’s head and pulled him forward to kiss his forehead. “Thank you, sweetie. You're so...” But she choked up and couldn't say anything more.

 

Draco didn’t seem to mind. He cuddled against her side. Lucius took the lockbox and wand and set them on Narcissa’s nightstand. Then he excused himself for a few minutes and when he returned, he slid into bed next to her with a murmured, “I needed to officially excuse myself from the meeting and reschedule” and pulled her against him.

 

Narcissa closed her eyes. Stroking the wolf’s plush fur, she focused on the warmth and comfort of husband and son. Slowly, they steadied her. As always.

 

Taking a deep breath, she said, “We should... I should do something, get a headstone made or...or something.”

 

“Of course, dear.”

 

“I should...” Here she paused, unsure how he would react. “I should invite Andromeda - ” Lucius tensed. “ - to pay her respects.”

 

Lucius waited a moment to speak, and when he did he plainly struggled to keep his anger and disdain at bay. “She’s a blood traitor.”

 

Narcissa delicately rested the fingertips of one hand on Lucius’s arm and stroked Draco’s hair with her other hand. Both reminders to Lucius of their present company. Aunt Walburga had never cared for age when it came to her ravings and rages, but Narcissa refused to do the same with Draco. She never wanted him to feel the desire to hide behind some else the way she had cowarded behind Bellatrix as a child when Aunt Walburga raged or Mother and Father fought.

 

“Yes, she is,” she said lightly, “but she is still my sister. We were very close when we were young. If she were ever to realize her mistake and ask forgiveness, I would welcome her back with open arms - as would have Bellatrix. It only feels right to offer her the opportunity to say her goodbyes. I think...I think Bellatrix would have wanted that. She hid it well, but Andromeda’s betrayal hurt her as deeply as it did me. I know she hoped Andy would return one day.”

 

Narcissa paused, realizing she was approaching the problem from the wrong direction. “I’m not talking about a public event or a reconciliation. She is still a blood traitor. Merely a private moment at the Black family manor. Nothing more. Her mudblood husband will not be invited. And after that, we will continue on as we have been.”

 

At this, Lucius seemed assured. “Very well. So long as no one knows. Would you like for me to be there?”

 

Narcissa smiled, sensing his discomfort. “I'll be alright. I know you and Bellatrix never liked each other, and I can handle my sister on my own. But thank you, dear.”

 

Lucius relaxed. “Of course, darling.”

 

Draco had been too young to remember Bellatrix, but Narcissa asked gently, “Would you like to go with me, Draco? It's perfectly alright if you don't. I know you don't remember much about your aunt.”

 

Draco looked up at her with wide serious eyes then at his father and back to her. “Yeah. I want to help.”

 

Narcissa thought to tell him there was nothing for him to help with, that she could deal with her sister and it would be up to her to arrange for the plaque and the spot in the family tombs - and then, as she became aware again of the hand that had been on Lucius's arm now stroking the soft fur of the stuffed wolf, she knew that wasn't the kind of help he meant.

 

Her eyes swam with tears. Holding them back, she hugged Draco tight against her side and kissed the top of his head.

 

“Thank you, Draco. I would love your help.”

 

*

 

“ - and then this big tentacle picked me up out of the water and - ”

 

Andromeda chuckled. “Yes, sweetie, I know. You've told your father and me this story a hundred times already.” The story got no less horrific to her with each dramatic retelling - complete with sound effects and over the top reenactments - but Nymphadora was thrilled to tell the tale to anyone unfortunate to sit still long enough to let her get started which Andromeda found funny and endearing even as she wondered, _Did First Years almost die when we were in school?_

 

The answer _probably_ came to her, and she decided not to examine that thought too closely lest she be compelled to wrap Nymphadora in bubble wrap for the rest for her life.

 

A tapping at the window drew Andromeda’s attention, and as Nymphadora determinedly explained her need to retell her story over and over again with exclamations of “but it was so _cool_!”, Andromeda opened the window for a beautiful owl to flutter inside and settle on the kitchen table. She took the envelope from its mouth. She intended to turn to get some owl treats from the cupboard, but her eyes locked on the familiar handwriting on the envelope.

 

Ignoring the irritated owl, Andromeda opened the envelope with shaking fingers. She didn't know what she expected after not hearing from either of her sisters in so long and she wasn't sure if the short perfunctory note informing her that the Ministry had declared Bellatrix dead was both bitterly disappointing and exactly what she had expected. Andromeda read the note a few times, absently tracing the letters with her fingertips.

 

Though Narcissa’s handwriting was as beautiful and impeccable as always, there were subtle tells to her state of mind. First, that Cissy had written her at all; it was a severe break with proper pureblood rules to acknowledge her, let alone reach out to her. Though Andromeda had hoped she would receive word from Cissy about Bellatrix, she had expected she would learn the news the same way as everyone else: through the paper. It was how she learned Narcissa had a son; if not for the Aurors, it would have been how she learned Bellatrix was injured and missing. It was how Narcissa _should_ have let her find out.

 

Secondly, as Andromeda trailed a finger along the parchment, reading _the Ministry has, for all intents and purposes, declared Bellatrix_ and there Andromeda stopped, her finger tracing the last letter of her sister's name. In the second stroke of the _x_ , at the tip of the curl before the next word, was a small blot of ink where the quill had paused, bleeding ink into the parchment for perhaps no longer than a second. Cissy had paused, either reluctant or struggling to write the next word.

 

_D e..._ Andromeda traced the letters, stopping again at the end of the _e_ stroke where there was another blot of ink. Cissy had paused again, perhaps torn between continuing into the _a_ stroke of the harder and harsher _dead_ or into the _c_ of the softer and smoother _deceased._ She had gone with the latter.

 

_Oh, Cissy,_ she thought sadly. Andromeda had accepted years ago that Bellatrix was undoubtedly dead. Laying low had never been their eldest sister’s style. It seemed to her, though, that Narcissa had perhaps held higher hopes for Bellatrix’s return. Not that Andromeda really blamed her: Cissy had always looked up to Bellatrix and the three sisters had been close before Andromeda had left. It only made sense that Cissy would cling to the hope that the one sister she still remained close to and acknowledged would return.

 

Continuing to the last lines of the short letter, Andromeda sighed. Here Narcissa preemptively rebuffed her and established hard boundaries for their meeting. It would be just her and Narcissa, a private affair - not that this surprised her; Bellatrix had never gotten along well with...well, _anyone_ aside from her sisters, and Andromeda did not think that had changed in the years she had been gone. But having it stated so plainly meant Narcissa wanted her to understand that this was not an offer of reconciliation; that Narcissa was doing this as a courtesy but that she would not be seen breaking the pureblood cultural rules. Additionally Narcissa had felt the need to state that if she went to pay her respects to Bellatrix, Ted was not allowed to accompany her.

 

Andromeda held back a snort. As if Ted would go pay his respects to a Death Eater. _Just had to make sure there were no misunderstandings, didn't you, Narcissa?_

 

“Mum?”

 

Andromeda blinked, lowering the letter. Nymphadora watched her curiously with brows furrowed in concern. She held the box of owl treats in one hand and held one out to the owl with the other without looking at it. The owl ate the treat, ruffled its feathers and leapt into the air, swooping out the window.

 

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Andromeda said. “I was thinking. Did you need something?”

 

Nymphadora’s brow furrowed further, and she frowned. “Are you ok? Who’s that letter from?”

 

_No one_ , Andromeda almost said immediately, but the words caught in her throat. Instead she said, “My younger sister, Narcissa.”

 

Nymphadora’s eyes widened. Andromeda couldn't blame her; she rarely spoke of her sisters these days and the last time Nymphadora had heard of them was when Andromeda had to explain why Aurors had come to their house that morning five years ago.

 

“What did it say?” she asked, leaning forward.

 

“She said...” Andromeda closed her eyes briefly, took a quick breathe. “She said our eldest sister, Bellatrix, is - has been declared dead by the Ministry.” She stumbled in the middle of her sentence because saying _Bellatrix is dead_ felt strange, and she told herself it was only because she had accepted that long ago and not because the phrase made her throat threaten to constrict.

 

She smiled sadly, eyes slipping closed. She had hesitated over the harsher words and chosen the softer ones instead. _Maybe Cissy wasn't the only one still hoping..._ She opened her eyes, taking a slow deep breath to steady herself. _Damn it._

 

*

 

Narcissa watched the gates to the Black Manor cemetery, one eyebrow raised and lips pressed in a thin line. Draco stood beside her, holding her hand. He grasped his stuff wolf in the other. _What if you need her?_ he had protested when she suggested he leave it at home.

 

On the other side of the gates, a light haired man handed a bouquet of flowers to Andromeda. A young girl with short pink hair was with them. When Andromeda opened the gates, Narcissa’s heart beat faster, and she swallowed nervously then schooled her features to remain neutral.

 

“Narcissa,” Andromeda said quietly.

 

Narcissa hesitated. Covering, she slid her eyes over to Ted Tonks, who had remained outside the gates but watched them closely. “I thought I made it clear he was not invited.”

 

Andromeda’s expression hardened. “Ted wanted to be here for me...and to pay his own respects to Bellatrix because he is a good man.”

 

Narcissa didn't know what to say. Andromeda clenched her jaw and then said, “This my daughter, Nymphadora.”

 

“Call me Dora,” the girl said quickly. Her eyes fell to Draco. “Nice wolf. I met one that looked just like that. It saved me from the Black Lake at Hogwarts - ”

 

Narcissa resisted a small smile as Andromeda closed her eyes with a pained expression, obviously biting back a groan. She gestured for Andromeda to follow her. Dora told Draco the story of a disastrous first flying lesson. Her voice tapered off when they stopped at a headstone.

 

Narcissa held Draco’s hand ever so slightly tighter in her own. Draco squeezed her hand. It helped her ground her emotions.

 

Andromeda placed the flowers against the stone. They didn't speak. Only stared at the marker, a poor excuse for closure.

 

At last Andromeda spoke. “How are you holding up, Cissy?”

 

Narcissa felt an ache in her chest at the nickname accompanied by a rush of anger. “Don’t call me that. You lost that right when you abandoned your family.” _Abandoned me,_ she didn't say.

 

Andromeda glared. “I wasn't the one who abandoned anyone.” Her words were sharp and cutting like shards of glass.

 

Something soft pressed against the back of Narcissa’s hand, and she looked down, distracted. Draco stared up at her with wide, solemn eyes, holding up his wolf in a silent offering. She smiled at him.

 

Andromeda sighed. She didn't press the issue, perhaps either knowing it was futile or else simply not wanting to have this fight in front of their children. Narcissa suspected the later. When the Black sisters fought, it could be intense though there had never been a time when they had actually wanted to hurt each other. But it would certainly terrify the children and likely bring Ted Tonks running over, and nothing would change in their situation anyway so why risk making it worse when there was no chance for it to get better?

 

Instead Andromeda said softly, “Thank you for inviting me here.”

 

“It’s what...” Narcissa paused and then admitted, “It’s what I think Bellatrix would have wanted me to do.” She glanced sidelong at Andromeda, taking in her shocked expression. Then Andromeda schooled her features.

 

“I like your hair, by the way,” she said deftly, steering the conversation to less dangerous waters, though Narcissa could see the curiosity and suspicion in her eyes.

 

Narcissa had no intention of giving away any more of her feelings than she already had. “Thank you.” It was obvious to her that Andromeda had hoped for her to say more, to give something away, but Andromeda did not push the issue.

 

After a few more minutes, she took Dora’s hand. “We should be leaving.” Her eyes fell to the bird skull necklace around Narcissa’s neck and to the leather jacket she wore. When she raised her eyes to meet Narcissa’s again, she said, “I wish you well. You were always stronger than you thought you were.”

 

As Narcissa watched Andromeda walk away without a backward glance, the same as Andromeda had done all those years ago when she abandoned her family, Narcissa wished people would stop telling her that. She never felt weaker than when her sisters insisted she was strong.

 

Narcissa squeezed Draco’s hand and grasped Bellatrix’s necklace in her other hand as Andromeda walked through the iron gates. Andromeda took Ted’s hand in her free one.

 

Narcissa blinked, and Andromeda was gone.

 

**END PART ONE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to shout out to my friend, CrucioAndCoffee, who is a great source of encouragement for this fic! 
> 
> Also I have a tumblr, dancewiththepen, where I occassionally post about updates or delays to this fic, as well as other works that will be coming down the line. Part Two, Wilder Mind, will begin posting as soon as possible.


	5. Sirius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Photo credit: Journeyor7.com (http://journeyor7.com/img/pov-prints.png) for the paw trail image. I made a joke about adding flavor to the story on AO3, and then my friends were like "no, do it for real" so jokes on me lol. Hope everyone else enjoys it as well. :)

Hogsmeade was bustling with activity, but few paid attention to the skinny black dog lurking about the outskirts. Only a few employees, throwing rubbish into bins behind businesses, gave him more than a second glance. Some chased him away. Some gave him food that would be otherwise thrown out. But they didn’t stay long, and they didn’t think too much of the stray that had somehow found himself in their town.

 

That suited Sirius just fine.

 

He couldn't eat too much food still, and he had to be careful about what he picked out from the rubbish bins. Azkaban had done a number on his stomach, it turned out. A lot of foods he had once loved now caused him hours of agony as his body struggled to process things it no longer knew how to handle. Slowly, he was getting better. The more foods he ate, the more his body readjusted, though he still could not eat much at a time.

 

This did not stop him from grabbing as much as he could out of the bins and bringing it all back to the Shrieking Shack to eat at his leisure.

 

Sirius dropped his awkward mouthful of chicken and stale bread and half-eaten sandwiches on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. Shifting back, he scooped the food up in his hands and dumped it on a spindly table he had dragged over to a chair which appeared to have once been extremely comfortable before Remus tore most of the stuffing out of it. Not that Sirius was complaining: even half-destroyed it was far more comfortable than the stone floor of his prison cell.

 

He dropped into the chair, grabbed a chicken leg in one hand and a coffee stained copy of the day's _Daily Prophet_ in the other. Shaking the _Prophet_ open, he tore a bite out of the chicken.

 

 _BELLATRIX LESTRANGE ALIVE?_ was the headline. Sirius nearly choked.

 

“What the fuck?” he rasped.

 

Eyes scanning the article, he started laughing. “‘Could Bellatrix Lestrange, notorious Death Eater and cousin of Sirius Black, be behind his unprecedented escape from Azkaban?’ Oh, that's a good one.”

 

The Ministry had zero real leads on his escape if people were inventing such wild theories. _Good_ , Sirius thought, scanning the article further. It provided no new information, only a re-hash of everything he had already put together from bits and pieces over the years: a confrontation between Aurors at Malfoy Manor had left Bellatrix without a wand, though she had escaped severely wounded and had been presumed dead by the Ministry.

 

He slowed at one sentence. _Ministry officials questioned Black and Lestrange’s remaining relatives in connection to the case..._

 

Sirius frowned. He supposed he should have assumed that Andy would be dragged into the case. They had no other leads, and Sirius had few relatives left. If there was a genuine fear that Bellatrix had helped him escape...

 

 _Hopefully things won't get too ugly,_ he thought with a frown.

 

“Andy can take care of herself,” he said. The thought made him feel better.

 

He finished the rest of the article. It contained nothing new, but he did note with interest the vagueness of the details surrounding how Bellatrix had been injured. He had managed to piece the story together - the inexperienced team of Aurors who had expected Bellatrix to be at Lestrange Manor with her husband instead, the Auror who had nearly killed Draco Malfoy, how the Auror’s career had been ruined, but how he had managed to only receive two years in Azkaban thanks to the influence of Barty Crouch Sr.

 

Sirius shook his head. Of course the Ministry would likely be leaning on the Prophet to suppress those particular details. _Or perhaps people don't care anymore_. It had been a major story at the time; Narcissa had used all the wealth and influence and fury at her disposal to make the Ministry quake, such that Sirius had heard about it even in Azkaban. It had caused Barty Crouch Sr no end of frustration as the Auror’s actions - the disregard for innocent life - had been seen as the end result of Crouch’s policies for quite a few people.

 

The Auror in question had passed by Sirius's cell when he had come in, shortly after Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange and Barty Crouch Jr, yelling and pleading, “I don’t belong here, they _deserved it, she deserved it_ \- ”

 

Sirius sighed and flipped through the rest of the paper, tossing aside the chicken bone and tearing into a half-eaten sandwich next. His mind drifted to his glimpse of Harry. It had been like seeing James’s ghost. Sirius closed his eyes, guilt making it hard to breathe. Harry should have been raised by James and Lily, he should never have convinced them to use Peter as Secret Keeper, he should have trusted Remus more, it was all his fault, how could he have been so _stupid_ -

 

He tossed the paper aside. It fell back to the front page. The headline and article once again caught his eye, and he snorted, distracted.

 

As if Bellatrix would ever have wanted to help _him._

  


 

There was someone new in the Forbidden Forest. Bellatrix wasn’t sure who he was, but he seemed familiar somehow as she watched him. Something in his movements, in the scent that reached her nose with each breeze. He made his den in the Shrieking Shack, and sometimes a large orange cat visited him, but no one else. No other pack. He looked like a big shaggy black dog, but he wasn't a dog. Bellatrix wasn't sure how she knew that exactly, but she did.

 

The Not-Dog crept around the Hogwarts grounds and around Hogsmeade, and Bella wasn’t sure sometimes if he was hunting or hiding from something. That afternoon he sat by the edge of the Forest tree line with the orange cat. He was a terrible predator, Bella thought, as she watched him and the cat from behind a tree. She wasn’t even being particularly subtle about her presence either.

 

But the cat knew. It meowed in her direction, unafraid, and that intrigued her. Did it not know it should be afraid? Did it have some kind of defense that Bella didn’t know about that made it undesirable as prey? Did it simply expect the Not-Dog to protect it from harm?

 

Curious, she approached them, head lowered slightly and tilted to the side. Nonaggressive but wary. She got embarrassingly close before the dog startled, its rapt attention snapping away from the castle. The Not-Dog bared its teeth, snarling, hackles raising, and Bella did the same.

 

Over the sound of their snarling, the cat purred. It came over to Bella, running against and winding between her legs. Both Bella and the Not-Dog stopped growling in surprise, staring wide-eyed at the cat.

 

The Not-Dog’s eyes darted between her and the cat. She could see the intelligence in his gray eyes and knew she had been right that he wasn’t a dog at all. He was tense, but as the cat continued to rub against her and weave between her legs, the Not-Dog relaxed and regarded her with bewilderment.

 

Bella stretched out her neck, sniffing the air around the Not-Dog. His scent was familiar, tugging at a subconscious memory. So were those eyes... The scent meant...family. Pack. She didn’t know how she knew that only that she did instinctively, deep in her bones. And then, looking at the Not-Dog’s gray eyes again, a name rose in her mind: _Sirius_.

 

Sirius was family. Bella’s whole body relaxed, and her tongue lolled out of the side of her mouth. Sirius studied her cautiously at her change in demeanor. He did not seem to know who or what she was, but Bella did not have time to think on it. The sounds of children coming toward them reached her ears, and she slipped back into the forest.

 

As she traveled deeper, she thought over the encounter, her thoughts stuck on how skinny Sirius was. His hunts were obviously not going well, and he clearly lost his edge if he had not been aware of her presence until the cat drew his attention.

 

She would have to do something about that.

 

 

Sirius couldn’t shake the encounter with the wolf, even after days of not seeing it. Crookshanks’s reaction had been bizarre, and the wolf’s sudden change of attitude left him feeling uneasy. It didn’t help that the wolf had seemed familiar somehow, despite him only ever seeing one wolf in his whole life, and Remus certainly didn’t look like that. He knew there were wolves in the Forbidden Forest, but they had never seen one, not once, in all their midnight runs.

 

It was something about the eyes, he thought. Those striking gray eyes which reminded him of his own for some strange reason.

 

A week later, he lurked near the tree line by the Quidditch Pitch, trying to catch sight of Harry, when he heard rustling behind him. Spinning around, he came face to face with the wolf. The wolf froze, and they both stared at each other for a long moment before the wolf closed the distance between them slowly and licked at his muzzle.

 

Sirius blinked.

 

The wolf play-bowed. Sirius did not return the gesture. The wolf backed up, licking its chops nervously.

 

It turned around and twisted its head to stare at him. It took Sirius a moment to realize it wanted him to follow.

 

Curiosity rising, he did. They traveled deeper into the forest, the wolf moving far more quietly than he did with a practiced ease and grace that left him jealous as he stumbled over tree roots.

 

The wolf stopped, suddenly alert. Sirius went still. He scanned the area until he saw it: some doe, grazing several yards off.

 

The wolf glanced at him, and Sirius stared blankly. Then it hit him. The wolf had brought him on a hunt.

 

Sirius had barely processed this when the wolf exploded in movement. Sirius struggled to keep up, the thought of such a feast making his mouth water, but the wolf was faster and surer footed than he was, and he lagged behind.

 

The deer scattered, bounding away, but one was slower than the others, and in no time the wolf had seized it by a back leg. The doe cried out. Sirius latched onto its other leg. The wolf let go, leapt to the front of the doe and clamped down on its throat. The doe went down, struggles weakening. The wolf did not let up until the doe went still.

 

The wolf stalked around to its belly and stared at Sirius, allowing him the first bite. Sirius fell on it, tearing into its sides. The wolf snorted and nudged him. Sirius growled.

 

The wolf gave him a look that he could only describe as _are you stupid?_ Sirius didn't understand.

 

Sighing, the wolf moved to the lower stomach and tore into it, shoving its snout deeper until it was pulling out organs and dropping the mangled remains at Sirius's feet. He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

 

The wolf nudged him incessantly until he hesitantly took something into his mouth - a liver, he thought with disgust - and began to eat. It didn't taste so terrible as a dog, and he thought maybe his stomach could handle it. He hoped anyway. He wondered why the wolf gave him these parts. Were they the most nutritious? Why wouldn't the wolf eat them itself? Why bring him on a hunt at all? He had barely been any help. The wolf most of the work and gave him the greatest reward.

 

And then another thought occurred to him: this wasn't normal wolf behavior, was it? When Remus had hunted on full moon nights, he had never cared to go straight to organs like this.

 

He chewed on the liver thoughtfully. The wolf watched him as he ate. When he finished the liver, it nudged him toward something else, but Sirius ignored that and went for the muscles. The wolf huffed. Sirius snickered.

 

Several times Sirius tried to stop eating, feeling full, but the wolf harassed him until he ate more. Only when the wolf could no longer convince him to eat more did it begin to eat itself.

 

Sirius considered the creature. Something was strange about it. He just couldn't pinpoint what. Perhaps he could run a few tests, make sure it wasn't anything that would ruin his plans. He would need a wand, though.

 

His eyes sparkled. He needed a wand, and he happened to know just the person - or cat, rather - that could get him one.

 

 

The deer carcass lasted him several days, even with having to battle other scavengers. He wondered sometimes if the wolf chased away competition when he wasn’t around. He had thought long and hard about what he needed to check for to ensure that the wolf would not cause complications to his own plans, and he went over the list again as he paced back and forth by the tunnel entrance into the Shack, waiting for Crookshanks to return, hopefully with a wand in hand - or teeth, rather.

 

Animagus was at the top of the list, though he rather doubted it. A forced transfiguration would be the second. After these two the danger to himself greatly decreased, and while he was not fully convinced that either of these would turn out to be the case, he could not rest easy - or as easy as one could when an escaped convict - until he had ruled them out for certain.

 

A third option, he supposed, which could be dangerous was that it was actually a pet of some kind and belonged to an owner who may come looking for it -

 

Crookshanks entered the Shrieking Shack, drawing Sirius’s attention, a wand clamped firmly in his mouth. To Sirius’s surprise, he was followed moments later by the wolf, a rabbit dangling from its jaws. It stared at him with wide eyes, and Sirius held his breath, tensing. Then the wolf dropped the rabbit at his feet and backed away. Crookshanks deposited the wand beside the rabbit.

 

Sirius picked up the wand first. Eyeing the wolf, he took a moment to get a feel for the wand in his hand. There was something about this wolf, but his suspicions of Animagi and forced transfigurations dwindled as he studied it. It appeared startled to see him, which Sirius couldn’t fault it for, but there was no fear or recognition in its eyes that he would associate with a person. His face was plastered everywhere. If this wolf were actually human, they would undoubtedly know him.

 

Crookshanks rubbed against Sirius’s leg. He bent down to scratch behind Crookshanks’s ear absently. Most likely this wolf was similar to Crookshanks, a hybrid of something. Sirius wasn’t sure what the canine equivalent of a Kneazle would be, though.

 

“Well, might as well get this over with,” Sirius said to himself. He would check just to be safe. Better safe than sorry, in this case. He added to Crookshanks, “When you go back to the castle, take the wand with you. You can give it back to whoever you took it from. They’ll never even know it was gone.”

 

Sirius pointed the wand at the wolf. It bared its teeth at him. He wondered, briefly, if the wolf had had bad experiences with wizards or if it was simply reacting to what might be an unknown threat. Then he cast the spell to reverse transformations. There was a flash of light and then, to Sirius’s surprise, the wolf changed shape and when the light dimmed there stood a woman with long black hair down to her knees, tangled and matted and filthy, her clothing shredded and bloodied -

 

Sirius’s blood ran cold, then boiled with fury. He lunged forward, slammed Bellatrix Lestrange against the wall and pinned her there with an arm against her throat. He dug the tip of the wand into her temple. “What the fuck, Trixie?” he shouted.

 

Bellatrix was _alive_ . And what’s more, she was an _Animagus_ and - he let out a bark of laughter - a wolf, which was not a far cry at all from a dog.

 

But his laughter stopped abruptly when he realized that any reaction he would have expected of his cousin wasn’t coming. Rather than anger or hatred, fighting and screaming, she had gone perfectly still, eyes wide and frightened.

 

Sirius’s eyebrows furrowed. “Trixie?” he asked hesitantly. Bellatrix had always hated that nickname, but he saw no recognition in her eyes. Eyes which were still sharp and intelligent but dulled somehow and almost...feral.

 

Sirius pushed away from her. “Shit.” Running a hand through his own long hair, he watched in fascinated horror as Bellatrix slid to the floor and hunched over, staring up at him warily. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit_.”

 

How long had she been living in the forest? When was the last time she had contact with people? Judging by the state of her, it had been years or maybe - Sirius’s heart dropped into his stomach at the thought - maybe she had been transformed and secluded since the night at Malfoy Manor. She had no wand, same as him, and only a few knew how to get into the Shrieking Shack.

 

“What happened, Trixie? What are you doing here?” Sirius demanded.

 

He wasn’t sure he expected an answer, but he was still disappointed when he took a step toward her, and she backed further against the wall, teeth bared. He thought he heard the hint of a growl.

 

“Did you think you would hide in the Forest until you had your chance to kill Harry? Were you looking for Voldemort?”

 

Bellatrix pressed herself against the wall, starting to slide upwards to her feet, a low growl rumbling from her chest.

 

As he stood there silently, simply watching until Bellatrix calmed and slid back down to the floor, her growls tapering off, a horrible thought occurred to Sirius: had Peter lost himself as well?

 

He eyed Bellatrix. _No_ , he thought. _Peter found a wizarding family to take him in. Bellatrix didn’t do the same. Worried she would get caught, maybe?_ Peter had spent the last thirteen years as a beloved pet. Despite the dangers of prolonged transformations, Peter likely still had his mind due to the constant contact with other people. Bellatrix had never gotten along well with...well, just about anyone ever outside of her sisters. Undoubtedly she had been living alone in the Forest the past twelve years with little to no human contact.

 

Sirius ran a hand through his hair again. What should he do now? It was extremely rare for an Animagus to be secluded for so long as to lose their minds. He wasn’t even sure it could be reversed, and Bellatrix had definitely lost her mind.

 

 _I should make sure it doesn’t matter then. Besides, she’ll be good practice for when I get my hands on Peter,_ he thought viciously, raising the wand. He clenched his jaw, trying to summon his nerve. It was harder than it should have been. Thinking of everything Bellatrix had done for Voldemort, hatred burned in his chest, but looking at her defenseless on the floor, curled in on herself and growling, and completely unaware of who he really was - why else would she feed him? - he found it difficult to keep his anger burning.

 

Then Crookshanks jumped onto her lap, and his resolve died completely. Bellatrix stopped growling and raised a halting, shaking hand, moving her arm as though she had forgotten how, and placed it on the cat’s back. Crookshanks purred.

 

Sirius lowered the wand slowly. Bellatrix eyed it as it descended, tense and fearful. Slowly so as not to startle her, Sirius set the wand on the ground, sighing. “I can’t do it. Merlin knows you deserve it but...I can’t. Not like this.” Crookshanks nuzzled her face. “Besides, Crookshanks seems to have taken a liking to you, and I can’t risk losing him. He’s a good ally.”

 

He remembered the rabbit at his feet. His stomach growled. As soon as he transformed into a dog, he saw her muscles relaxed slightly. Then he dug into the rabbit, starving, and she relaxed completely. He blinked, and she was a wolf once more. Crookshanks gave her a reproachful look as he was dumped onto the floor before climbing onto her back and curling up there.

 

Sirius had no idea what to do. He couldn’t just leave _Bellatrix Lestrange_ running around the forest by Hogwarts. Could he? She didn’t remember who she was, and he was an escaped convict. Who would he tell? Who would believe him? What would they do to Bellatrix? Kill her on the spot, probably. Write her off as a waste of time, a waste of resources. That thought shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did, but it would be execution without a trial. Bellatrix couldn’t even defend herself properly. As silly as it was, he couldn’t help the thought that it wasn’t fair. Dishonorable.

 

 _She tortured Frank and Alice to insanity. She doesn’t_ deserve _fair. Don’t kill her yourself, but it’s not your fault what the Ministry does,_ said a part of him. He chewed the next bite of rabbit thoughtfully. Wished he could convince himself that he wouldn’t be responsible.

 

Maybe instead of killing her they’d hand her over to some department to run tests on. He shuddered at the thought.

 

Sirius sighed, licked his chops, and thought. Given the condition Bellatrix was in, she was no threat - would not be one any time soon, if ever again. He didn’t have to decide what to do now. Perhaps after he killed Peter, he would write to Dumbledore and let him decide.

 

 _Yes_ , Sirius decided, _that’s what I’ll do. Dumbledore will make the right choice._

 

Still, another thought tugged at the back of his mind. Bellatrix was no danger in her present condition. There was no way, at this stage, that she would ever remember who and what she was if left alone.

 

Would it be so bad to simply let her live the rest of her life in the forest?

 

 

Sirius sat high up on the rocky slopes of a mountain, his fur pressed flat against his back in the wind and his coat dusted with snow, watching with interest as a wolf pack approached a herd of deer. A familiar black wolf, slightly larger than the rest, stalked behind two other wolves - one black, one white - who appeared to be the leaders. The rest of the pack broke off into two groups and flanked the herd on either side.

 

The wolves circled them, and the deer pranced nervously, pressing together. Once the wolves were in position, Bellatrix lunged forward, snarling and snapping. A few deer bounded forward, starting to run, while a stag spun on its back legs and charged at her, head down.

 

Bellatrix barely avoided getting caught on its antlers. She fell back behind the leaders, stalking around. Looking for another opening, Sirius guessed. It came when the wolves on the right flank charged the stag from behind, biting its back leg. The stag bayed and lunged forward, attempting to get free. The wolves on the left flank ran into the herd, and the deer panicked. The herd ran, and the tight defense they had presented fell apart.

 

The wolves sprinted after them, snarling and barking and snapping at the hind legs of the deer that fell behind. The stag had broken free and leapt toward the front of the herd, passing a younger doe who struggled to keep up. She fell behind, further and further as the wolves switched their attention and closed in, working to cut her further from the herd. Sirius wondered how often the wolves got hurt, as one nearly took a hoof to the head as the doe kicked frantically. Bellatrix surged forward, as though by an order Sirius did not see, and as the doe gathered her legs back under her from the kick, Bellatrix latched onto a hind leg, dragging the doe further behind. Another wolf joined Bellatrix, and then another, and then they were all on the doe, splitting between attacking the legs and attacking the neck.

 

Bellatrix jumped over another wolf and bounded to the front of the doe. It was eerie, Sirius thought, how the snarls and barks went silent as the wolves went for the kill. Bellatrix didn't make a noise as she latched her jaws to the doe’s throat and dragged it to the ground, their combined weight too much. Bellatrix didn't let go until the doe had stopped moving. The other wolves didn't wait, moving to tear into the belly the moment the doe fell.

 

Sirius licked his chops. Bellatrix had made it a point to bring him rabbits from time to time, and she had taken him hunting some larger game as well. He felt stronger. Better. He had noticed his ribs were not quite as pronounced as they had been. Still, these were infrequent and his diet consisted largely of rats and scraps fished from the garbage.

 

Impulsively, he trotted down the hill. Would the wolves welcome him as they had Bellatrix?

 

He got his answer when he was still yards away. One of the leaders raised their head and snarled at him, hackles raised. Sirius stopped.

 

Bellatrix, who had moved to dig into the deer's flesh, lifted her head. Spotting him, she turned to the leader and licked at its muzzle. The leader calmed slightly, but did not seem any more welcoming. It did not, however, object when Bellatrix tore a chunk of flesh loose, trotted over to Sirius, and dropped it by his feet. She did this two more times before the leader snapped at her in warning, and she rolled over onto her back.

 

Still, what he had been allowed would be more than satisfying. He down on his stomach, making himself less threatening, and began to chew.

 

He watched Bellatrix eat with her pack, and once they had their fill, they began to play, chasing and jumping on each other. They reminded him now of dogs, though he did not dare forget they weren't tame. Through all their play, they kept a wary eye on Sirius, always aware of him though relaxed, perhaps, in the knowledge that Bellatrix knew him. Certainly in the conditional acceptance of his presence from the pack leaders who kept a closer eye on him.

 

Bellatrix play-bowed to another of the wolves, a younger male with a gray coat, and he took off running. She chased after him until she nipped at his hindquarters, and he rolled over onto his back. They did this a few times before Bellatrix sprinted away, and he gave chase. She rolled over onto her back the same as he had done. Another wolf, a female, perhaps from the same litter as the male joined their game, and they bound merrily through the snow after Bellatrix, who seemed far happier than Sirius could ever remember her being after Andromeda left. She was certainly more carefree, which seemed ironic given that life in the Forest could not be easy.

 

As the months passed and Bellatrix continued to visit him, often bringing food with her or taking him out for hunts, Sirius felt less and less inclined to tell anyone she was there. The Bellatrix Lestrange who had killed and tortured in Voldemort’s name was gone. All that was left was a wolf living happily in the forest with only the vaguest notions - at best - of who people were. She clearly recognized him as family somehow, but her behavior indicated that she remembered nothing else about their relationship.

 

There would be no justice in turning this creature over to the Ministry.

 

So Sirius said nothing to the Ministry officials when he was caught just before summer, and he said nothing to Remus or Dumbledore after he escaped. Only he and Crookshanks knew the truth about the strange black wolf in the Forbidden Forest, and that was how Sirius intended it to stay.


	6. The Calling

Sirius said nothing to Dumbledore when he returned during the Triwizard Tournament, though he wondered, given the strange things happening, whether that might be a mistake. Bellatrix found him again within a few days, Crookshanks at her side, eager to greet him. She continued her habit of bringing him food, but she did not bring him hunting, and the animals she brought him where mostly rats. Consumed with worries for Harry, Sirius did not notice for several days that Bellatrix was significantly thinner than when he had last seen her, and it was that observation that led him to notice the lack of deer in the forest.

 

The Triwizard Tournament must be disrupting the forest somehow. Perhaps the dragons that had been kept deep inside for the First Task. The leaders of Bellatrix’s pack no longer allowed her to bring him meat from their kills. Understandable, Sirius thought, watching the whole pack descend on a single rabbit. They had little enough food for the pack itself let alone an outsider. Even as his mouth watered, he did not push the issue. Couldn’t risk injuring himself in the fight that would result. 

 

He looked forward to meeting with Harry and to the food he would bring with him.

 

But his excitement turned to worry when he led Harry, Ron and Hermione up the mountain side toward the cave where he and Buckbeak hid. He caught sight of Bellatrix loping up the mountain with a rabbit dangling from her mouth. There was no way to warn her away or chase her off without worrying Harry and his friends, and she was faster and more sure footed than he was. She slipped ahead before he could think of what to do.

 

Would she recognize Harry as the Boy Who Lived, the one responsible for Voldemort's downfall? Sirius tensed, preparing for a fight. When they arrived at the cave, he found Bellatrix sharing the rabbit with Buckbeak.

 

Harry, Ron, and Hermione squeezed through the entrance of the cave and bowed low to Buckbeak who returned the gesture. Hermione rushed forward to pet Buckbeak's neck while Harry greeted Sirius and gave him the food they had brought.

 

As they spoke, Bellatrix watched warily. She remained lying on her stomach, nearly invisible in the dim lighting. Sirius did not draw attention to her, hoping that she would remain where she was while they spoke, but he felt uneasy about how close she was to Buckbeak. Hermione still stood beside him, petting his neck. All it would take was one quick lunge and there would be nothing Sirius could do to stop Bellatrix from severely harming Hermione.

 

Hermione glanced around the cave at the exact moment Bellatrix turned her head. The light caught her eyes, making them gleam in the dark. Hermione gasped and jumped back, staring at Bellatrix with wide eyes. Harry and Ron spun to face her. Sirius leapt forward, placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder. 

 

Bellatrix rose, growling slightly. Too much sudden movement, Sirius thought. Bellatrix studied them, tense and on guard, licking blood from her chops. Hermione paled - whether from the sight of Bellatrix's bloodied fangs or from the realization of just how big she was, Sirius couldn't be sure.

 

"It's alright," Sirius said, his voice still raspy from disuse, and hoped that it would be. "She's a...friend of sorts."

 

Bellatrix's eyes roamed over the children, stopping briefly on Harry before her eyes snapped back to Hermione, and she sniffed the air. Hermione tensed as Bellatrix took a step toward her, extending her head forward. Sirius stepped between them. Glancing at Hermione, he noticed a few orange hairs on her robes and snorted. Crookshanks. Of course.

 

He guided Hermione back a few steps. "She must smell something she likes," he said. "Give her some space." While his primary concern was that something might spark Bellatrix’s memory, causing her to attack Harry, he could not rest easy knowing Hermione, a Muggleborn, and Ron Weasley, from a family of blood traitors, were all in a confined space with a Death Eater.

 

Bellatrix stepped forward, approaching Hermione. Sirius blocked her path and shoved her aside. 

 

"Leave them alone," he commanded.

 

Bellatrix's lips pulled back, exposing her teeth. She made no sound. A warning. Sirius ignored it and shoved her back another step. Instantly, Bellatrix twisted and snapped at his hands.

 

"Sirius!" Harry said.

 

"Sirius, don't!" Hermione squeaked. "I'm sure it's fine, just let her get used to us, she'll settle down - "

 

Sirius resisted the urge to transform and snap back at Bellatrix. "She's a wild animal, Hermione. It's not safe for her to be in here with you lot - "

 

Hermione grabbed his arm, her face pale and terrified, her eyes locked on Bellatrix whose fur stood on end. She tried to pull him back.

 

"She doesn't like being pushed, please - "

 

Sirius took a deep breath. "Fine." He stepped away from Bellatrix. She stopped growling, but her glare followed him as he moved back to the sack of food Harry had brought. He tossed her a chicken wing. Bellatrix curled her lip, but she could not ignore the food for long. Even under her thick winter coat, he knew she had not gained much weight since he had been back, even if the pack's hunts had seemed to pick up in the past week. She nearly swallowed it whole in her eagerness..

 

Hermione watched her worriedly. "Is she okay? She looks skinny."

 

"Hard winter," Sirius said dismissively. "Now, Harry..."

 

Crookshanks slipped into the cave and rubbed against Hermione's legs. She started in surprise. "Crookshanks! What are you doing here?"

 

"He comes to visit me sometimes." Sirius turned back to Harry and continued what he had been saying, but he noticed the way Bellatrix relaxed when she saw Crookshanks. Realizing that Hermione belonged to Crookshanks, Bellatrix relaxed and rolled onto her side. She kept her head up, watching everything. Frequently she looked to him and Crookshanks, and he suspected she was watching them to help her continually reassess the situation for any change.

 

As the four of them spoke, Sirius noted with interest that while she clearly remembered him - though not enough to know anything about their relationship beyond that they were, somehow, "pack" and to act accordingly - she did not seem to react at all when Voldemort's name was mentioned. He told Harry, Ron and Hermione how Barty Crouch's son had been caught with a group of Death Eaters after the war. "Apparently they were trying to find Voldemort and return him to power." And one of those Death Eaters is lying just feet from you, he thought.

 

Sirius shot her a brief dirty look. She had been one of a handful of Death Eaters loyal enough to search for Voldemort, and yet now she did not know him - but she knew Sirius, the cousin she hated and would have killed without hesitation. She cared more for him now than she had when she was human. The things that Bellatrix remembered and those she did not fascinated and aggravated Sirius in turns, but he had no idea what it meant, if anything. 

 

The conversation turned to Snape and as Sirius listed off the group of people Snape had hung around during school, he stumbled when he said, "The Lestranges - they're a -  _ were _ \- a married couple - husband's in Azkaban and" -  _ my cousin _ \- "the wife is" -  _ licking blood off Buckbeak's feathers _ \- "dead".

 

He glanced at Bellatrix just in time to see her, pressed flat against the ground, shimmy forward toward Crookshooks who still wound his way through Hermione's legs, purring. She glanced at him and froze. Suspiciously, Sirius looked at Harry. After a few seconds, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye.

 

"Hey," he snapped, and Bellatrix froze mid crawl, wide eyed.

 

Crookshanks glared at him, broke away from Hermione and rubbed against Bellatrix's side. Bellatrix sat up, tongue lolling out of her mouth. Crookshanks outranked him, it seemed, because when Crookshanks moved back over to Hermione, Bellatrix ignored his shout of " _ hey _ !" and padded along behind him. Hermione scooped Crookshanks into her arms, looking alarmed. Bellatrix sat at Hermione's feet and stared up at Crookshanks, who wiggled in Hermione's arms, trying to get back down.

 

"Crookshanks!" Hermione hissed.

 

Sirius sighed. If he was outranked by a cat with no interest in backing him up, he gave up. He was fairly certain Bellatrix wasn't about to snap any second, at least not now. "It's fine. They're friends."

 

"Friends?"

 

Sirius nodded. "She adores him."

 

"Does...does she have a name?" Hermione asked, tentatively. Bellatrix tilted her head to the side, as though confused.

 

Sirius hesitated. "No." Would anyone deduce Bellatrix’s identity from her nickname? Unlikely, but it wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. He grinned. "Why don't you name her?"

 

Hermione stared at Bellatrix blankly. Then her face took on a look of concentration. Sirius resisted a sigh. He had hoped she would come up with a ridiculous name - a ridiculous name bestowed upon Bellatrix by a muggleborn, a perfect insult even if she would not realize it - but Hermione seemed to be giving it some real thought. A meaningful name for the friend of her beloved pet. How boring.

 

"My dad really loves muggle mythology," Hermione said after a moment. "I wasn't as interested in it before I found out I was a witch, but afterward I thought it was fascinating the different ways muggles view magic versus what it can actually do, and how much of muggle mythology was actually muggles trying to make sense of magical events - " She paused, realizing she was rambling and blushed. "What I mean to say is there are plenty of wolves in muggle mythology. My favorites were the wolves of Odin so maybe...Freki?"

 

Crookshanks trilled. Bellatrix did not give an obvious sign of approval or disagreement. Probably did not even understand the question. Still, Hermione seemed to take Crookshanks's chirps as an affirmative. 

 

"Freki, then," Hermione said with a smile. She leaned over to set Crookshanks down, and Bellatrix leaned forward to bump her head against Crookshanks's. Hermione's hand brushed the top of her head. She froze, but Bellatrix ignored the contact.

 

Sirius tensed, every inch of himself wound so tightly it hurt. But Bellatrix behaved herself, laying docile near Hermione's feet. Crookshanks kneaded Bellatrix's side for a bit while Sirius and the children spoke further until he caught sight of some rats and gave chase. Bellatrix watched him, tongue lolling out of her mouth.

 

Sirius shivered at her proximity to Hermione. It was one thing to leave Bellatrix alone when she kept to herself in the Forest. It was another thing to have her anywhere near innocent people, particularly muggleborns. If the children noticed his shiver, they must have chalked it up to a draft in the cave. He still wore his Azkaban rags, after all.

 

Once they finished, Sirius led them back to the village and stole a few more newspapers, feeling much better after having a meal of real food. When he returned the cave, Bellatrix was gone. He ducked back outside and, from his vantage point on the mountain, saw her loping toward her pack. She jumped on one of them, sending them both tumbling, and he heard playful yelps and growls as they wrestled.

 

Turning back to the cave, he brushed aside the nagging feeling that he should tell Dumbledore about her. Strange things were happening, and it felt like something was coming to a head. The feeling that Dumbledore should know had risen steadily in his chest, but right now all they had were suspicions and ill feelings, nothing concrete. He would wait a little longer and see what happened.

 

So Sirius kept his mouth shut about Bellatrix when  he corresponded with Dumbledore. No one knew this Creature-That-Had-Been-Bellatrix was here, and that was how Sirius hoped it would stay.

 

Then, only a few months later, Voldemort returned.

 

  


 

Sirius's incessant pacing made Bellatrix nervous. From where they watched at the top of the mountain, they could see the lights from the Hogwarts grounds, illuminating the hedge maze that had replaced the Quidditch Pitch. As the maze had grown, Sirius grew more and more on edge. Tonight his nerves were taunt, ready to snap. Bellatrix tried not to let his nervous energy affect her, but even as she lay on her side in a soft patch of grass, she couldn't fully relax.

 

Sirius got too close in his pacing, and she snapped at his legs, making a sound halfway between a whine and growl.  _ Calm down,  _ it said.  _ You're making me anxious, _ it said.

 

Sirius snapped back. Bellatrix lowered her head to the grass, staring up at him, watching for his next move. Sirius's teeth were bared in nervous aggression. Best thing to do, she decided, was to remain calm herself. Anything else would only escalate the rising tension. She licked at his muzzle, an affectionate and reassuring gesture. He relaxed, but only for a moment. When he moved away, he sat and watched the maze for a minute then stood and began pacing again. More sedately at first and then more nervously until his tense energy was right back to where it had been.

 

Bellatrix studied him. His anxiety had something to do with the hedge maze. Maybe the crowd of people it had drawn that night? Bellatrix couldn't blame him. The maze was just another thing the wizards were doing around the forest, and she didn't like it either. It was preferable to the dragons, which had been locked in cages deep in the forest. The dragons and wizards had scared away the prey animals from their usual grounds, and to feed the dragons, the wizards had hunted a large number of deer, uncaring about the havoc it caused for the creatures who lived off of them.

 

Things had gotten better over the past few months. The prey that had been scared away was returning, but the last meal she had eaten was a single rabbit shared between the whole pack. The ache of hunger still clawed at her insides. Sweet Merlin, what she wouldn't give to gorge herself on a nice fat -

 

Bellatrix yelped, springing to her feet. Something bit her! Her left front foreleg throbbed, and she scanned the grass, looking for what had attacked her. Sirius stopped his pacing and trotted over, concerned. He brought his muzzle close to her leg, peering closely at it, and then helped her search the grass. She kept her leg off the ground, hoping it would help the searing pain.

 

An image flashed before her eyes: a run down graveyard, a little town in the distance, an overgrown manor on a hilltop.  _ Come to me _ , hissed a high, cold voice so loudly she shied away, sure the voice came from beside her.

 

Bellatrix whined and spun in a circle. She didn't know why. She just knew she had to - the voice wanted her to.  Her leg hurt. She hobbled on three legs, spinning. Spinning was supposed to take her to the graveyard. It was supposed to take her to the voice. Not going to the voice was not an option - she would be hurt or worse if she didn't go. Spinning was supposed to get her there somehow so why wasn't it working, why wasn't she going, why - 

 

Sirius transformed. His hands grabbed at her, trying to hold her still. "Trixie, stop. What are you doing? Let me see your leg. Trixie, what - "

 

Bellatrix snapped at his hands. She didn't have time. She had to go. She had to get to the voice, to her...to her...master? Yes. Master. She had to get to Master.

 

She paused. Who was Master? Why did she have to go to him? What was happening -

 

Her leg seared with pain again. Howling, she bit it. Maybe if she gnawed at it she could make it stop. Maybe she was wrong, maybe something hadn't bitten her, maybe she had something stuck in her leg and she could get it out if she just gnawed at it -

 

"Trixie." Sirius grabbed her jaws, prying them off her leg. "Trixie,  _ stop _ . Let me look at it, damn you." He shoved her head aside, seized her leg with both hands and yanked it closer to his face. He shifted so that the moonlight hit her leg and squinted at it. Running his hands over the fur, pushing it aside to see the skin, he muttered to himself, "I don't see anything..."

 

Bellatrix's ears drooped, and she whimpered. The pain faded. So too did the urge to rush off the graveyard she had seen. Allowing Sirius to continue examining her leg, she wracked her brain trying to remember who Master was. Someone important. Something like a pack leader? No. A leader, but different. He did not keep his pack safe. Not unless it suited him.

 

So why did she feel the urge to go to him?

 

Sirius frowned. He studied her leg, peering closely at fur. "What's that?" he murmured. "Your fur is a little darker here...I never noticed this before...huh... Is that a pattern...?" Alarmed, he drew back, eyes widening. He looked over his shoulder at the hedge maze. "Harry..."

 

The sounds coming from the crowd on the Hogwarts grounds ceased, leaving the forest eerily silent. Then a man screamed, his wailing reaching even the mountain in the sudden stillness.

 

"My  _ son _ ! That's  _ my boy _ !"

 

Sirius dropped her leg and stood. "No..."

 

Bellatrix whined. The keening wail pierced the night, and slowly new cries joined it, though none so loud and grief stricken.

 

"Stay," Sirius ordered. He transformed and took off running. Ignoring him, Bellatrix tested her leg to ensure it would hold her weight and raced after him. She followed him to the edge of the forest where she found him lurking, waiting as a devastated crowd trickled by. He growled when he saw her, shoved her further into the forest with his body and snapped at her.  _ Stay _ .

 

When he slipped out of the trees, trailing behind the students, Bellatrix did not dare follow. Not with all the people about. Reluctantly, she retreated.

 

  


 

Bellatrix stalked the edge of the forest for hours waiting for Sirius to return. When he finally did, it was with an old man in tow. A tall man, with a long flowing beard and half-moon glasses, he carried himself with a sense of authority and power. Not as an attempt to try to intimidate but as a simple fact. Someone who knew what they were capable of doing. 

 

Bellatrix took a step back, crouching lower to the ground so as not to be seen. A sense of unease filled her when she looked at the man. Sirius trotted ahead, his ears forward, movements tense. Something had him worried. Not the old man, but something else. Sirius did not appear to notice her watching as he entered the forest. 

 

Crookshanks sprinted across the lawn to join them. That eased Bellatrix's mind a little, but she gave them a wide berth as she stalked them deeper into the forest. Once the trees began to thicken and stand closer together, Sirius stopped.

 

"It is of the utmost important that we move quickly," the old man said. "If wish to undermine Voldemort's success tonight - " 

 

"I know," Sirius said, changing back to a man. "But there's something you need to know. Something important." He took a deep breath. "Bellatrix Lestrange. She's alive."

 

The old man blinked. Bellatrix crept closer, watching intently. Sirius launched into the story of meeting her, and the old man listened carefully, not interrupting. As Sirius reached the end of his tale, he turned defiant, seemingly uncomfortable.

 

"She doesn't remember anything. I thought it would be best for everyone if she just...stayed dead. But now Voldemort is back..."

 

The old man studied him in silence for a moment. "The idea that one of Voldemort's most loyal Death Eaters has been living undetected on the castle grounds is more than a little unsettling. I wish you had entrusted me with this information sooner, Sirius."

 

He sounded disappointed, and Sirius bristled. "I did was I thought was right, Dumbledore. I won't apologize for that."

 

Dumbledore... Dumbledore... That name meant something. Bellatrix's unease returned, worse than before. 

 

"I happen to agree with you," Dumbledore said. "If what you say is true, it would have been best, as it were, to let sleeping dogs lie." His eyes sparkled, and Sirius groaned. Then decisively, "Where is she now?"

 

"She's probably been following us this whole time," Sirius said carelessly. "She has a habit of just turning up."

 

Dumbledore smiled. "I see." 

 

Crookshanks wound between Sirius's legs and mewed loudly. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.

 

"That is Miss Granger's cat, is it not?"

 

Sirius nodded. "He took a liking to Bellatrix." 

 

Crookshanks's ears twitched back and forth, listening. Trying to find her perhaps? Bellatrix drew back a few steps. She did not like Dumbledore. Something about him made her fearful. Fearful and...angry? Yes, anger prickling at the back of her mind, like sparks trying to catch fire. 

 

"Come on, Trixie," Sirius said. "Come out."

 

Bellatrix didn't move. Crookshanks cried, louder and louder. Bellatrix tensed. What was Crookshanks doing? He would alert every predator in the area to their presence. The Thestrals didn't hunt humans, but they would have no problem eating a cat. When Crookshanks showed no sign of stopping, Bellatrix scurried from her hiding spot. The second she moved, rustling leaves and pine needles on the ground, Crookshanks went quiet.

 

Bellatrix growled in annoyance. Sirius knelt down, facing her direction, though his eyes kept scanning the trees. He held out a hand. With a huff, Bellatrix slunk closer, giving Dumbledore a wide berth. 

 

Sirius ruffled the fur on her neck. "Hello again, Trixie." Bellatrix ignored him, keeping her eyes on Dumbledore. Sirius sighed, scratching at her neck and shoulders with both hands, and she relaxed slightly, enjoying the massage. "She used to hate that nickname. It's not quite as fun calling her that when she can't remember."

 

Dumbledore reached for his wand. Bellatrix tensed, a rumbling growl rising in her throat, and he paused.

 

"I see," he said mildly and moved his hand away from his wand. Bellatrix's growls subsided. "Very well. We shall do this another way." His eyes locked with hers.

 

Bellatrix tensed, feeling something brush against the back of her head. No. Not her head. Inside her skull. In her mind. Memories rose to the surface, fleeting and passing rapidly. The pain in her leg and Master's call, hunting with her pack, play fights. Dumbledore searched for something. He stopped to examine a particular memory. 

 

_ A warm breeze ruffled Bellatrix's fur. The ground under her paws was soft, sinking slightly under her weight. The lake sparkled in the light of the full moon. Everything was calm and quiet, and she headed toward the Whomping Willow, which was unmoving in the distance. Sirius had shown her how to get under the branches and press the knot in the trunk so she could come and go as she pleased. Often times she brought Sirius some food, but this time she had been unsuccessful in her solitary hunts. Unfortunate, but not unusual. _

 

_ Bellatrix paused. Tense, alert, ears twitching. Something was wrong. Something had changed. Was that...hissing? Crookshanks hissing? The sounds of a fight broke out, canine growling and snarling, followed shortly by a boy shouting, "Sirius!" _

 

_ Sirius tore into view chasing something in the grass. Bellatrix couldn't see it, but she caught wind of a scent that tugged at something in the back of her mind like when she had first met Sirius. Only this smell was not family, not pack. It was danger, fury, and betrayal. A name, Wormtail, flitted across her mind, and she snarled, attention dragged from Sirius to the thing in the grass. Wormtail had betrayed her somehow. He needed to be killed, torn to shreds. _

 

_ But before she could join the hunt, another feeling tugged at her. Something cold. The night air cooled rapidly. The grass frosted over. Something big and black swooped down over the lake, heading for Sirius. Another flew over the treetops of the forest. Dementors. Bellatrix and her pack had avoided the creatures the past year, and the Dementors had ignored them, preferring to hunt other prey.  _

 

_ Like humans.  _

 

_ A boy with messy black hair sprinted for Sirius, followed closely by a girl with bushy brown hair. Sirius transformed back into a man, crouched on all fours, cowering with his head in his hands, moaning. Bellatrix froze, caught between her instinct to flee the danger and her instinct to protect the pack.  _

 

_ Sirius moaned again. "No...please..." _

 

_ Bellatrix bounded toward Sirius but she did only made it a few feet before she faltered, her body beginning to tremble, memories tugged to the surface - _

 

_ Sirius snarled at her with his wand digging into her temple, his arm at her throat. She had changed shape. Somewhere she knew that she had been this shape before, had once known how to move the limbs in ways that made sense, but she couldn't quite remember and nothing moved the way she wanted it to. Defenseless. Terror and anger burned inside her, and she growled at Sirius, knowing she had her teeth at least. Maybe she could rip his throat out if it came to that. Her senses were dulled. She was cut off from everything around her. She felt blinded. Sirius shouted things at her that she didn't understand -  _

 

_ Bellatrix shook her head. Her limbs splayed out to keep her steady. Her legs trembled - _

 

_ A hard winter, hunger a persistent clawing at her insides, a pack of pups that Bellatrix eagerly awaited meeting - but one was too sick, too small and too weak, and Bellatrix watched the others crawl out of the den weeks later, but that one never emerged, and she never quite forgot any of the pups she never got to meet - _

 

_ A whine escaped Bellatrix's throat. More Dementors glided over the surface of the lake, came over the forest. So many they seemed to blanket the sky. The night was cold, so cold, it cut through even her fur - _

 

_ A hunt gone wrong, a wolf caught on the piercing antlers of a charging stag. Tossed through the air, blood splattering across the grass and snow. A punctured lung, nothing to be done. He died slowly and in agony. Bellatrix could still hear his labored breathing, his whines of pain - _

 

_ Bellatrix panted, her limbs shaking so badly they barely held her up. _

 

_ More Dementors converged on them. The boy and the girl tried to fend them off. The girl collapsed. The boy continued fighting. The Dementors paid Bellatrix no mind, but she could not escape the effects of their presence. They surrounded her, and as more and more came, she felt them clawing at her, digging deeper at buried things. Bellatrix panted. Collapsed. The Dementors clawed at her memories, tearing their way through something and it made her head pound, her body shake. It felt like her brain creaked and trembled under their assault. Pressure built in her skull like it would crack at any second. Her body shook. _

 

_ Buried things, contextless but agonizing were torn up through the barrier - _

 

_ "Bellatrix!" Narcissa shook her awake, sobbing. "Bellatrix, Andy's gone, no one knows where, she just packed her things and left - " _

 

_ Something charged across the lake, blinding and brilliant, white like snow. The Dementors fled under its assault. The pounding pressure in Bellatrix's skull lessened. _

 

Then the memory was gone, and Dumbledore wound his way deeper into her mind until he brushed up against the barrier the Dementors had ripped through. He poked and prodded at it, as if trying to find a way through or perhaps just examining it, but Bellatrix had had enough. When Dumbledore prodded at the barrier again, something filtered through, some instinctive thing that brought barriers crashing down around her mind, tossing Dumbledore out of it.

 

Bellatrix panted slightly. Dumbledore frowned. "The memories are still there, merely...suppressed. This is a magical injury to her mind. The memories could be ripped to the surface, but I cannot say the effect that would have on her. I do not doubt that Voldemort would consider it an acceptable risk, however..."

 

Sirius ran a hand down the length of Bellatrix's back soothingly. "She could go back to who she was or get worse?"

 

"I cannot say that she will ever return fully to the woman she was." Dumbledore paused, considering. "Injuries to the mind often have lingering effects. Particularly ones as severe as this. There is a barrier in her mind, like scar tissue. I could reopen the wound, but the injury might only be made worse. She could be broken completely."

 

Sirius tightened his hold on her. Dumbledore studied her, and Bellatrix felt a prickle of unease.

 

"She has done terrible things. Shown no remorse."

 

"She can't remember."

 

"No," Dumbledore said. "She can't. Quite the moral dilemma. She ruthlessly tortured Frank and Alice Longbottom into insanity, depriving a boy of his parents, and she has killed countless people - and yet here, in her most vulnerable state, she cannot remember her crimes. Is it justice to punish a creature with no memory?"

 

Anger flashed in Dumbledore's eyes. Disdain and hatred too. Bellatrix tried to pull away, but Sirius held her closer, and she felt the nervousness coming off of him.

 

"And yet, she remembers you, Sirius. She remembers her family and some sense of loyalty. Which raises questions all their own." Dumbledore's anger subsided slightly. "Perhaps..."

 

Sirius leaned forward. Bellatrix pressed against him. Crookshanks watched Dumbledore with predatory focus, tail swishing.

 

"What are you thinking?" Sirius asked when the silence had dragged on a minute too long.

 

Dumbledore addressed Bellatrix. "Bellatrix," he said kindly, "this is quite the predicament you've gotten yourself into. But perhaps there is still hope."

 

Bellatrix didn't know what that meant.


	7. Reunion Part I

Within a few days, Dumbledore had prepared Grimmauld Place to act as Order Headquarters, though it would still require a great deal of cleaning and sorting through dark artifacts. Sirius had contacted the surviving members of the Order - save for Andromeda, whom Dumbledore insisted on approaching about the reformed Order himself - and a few new members had been recruited, such as Charlie and Bill Weasley. Gathering more members would take time and subtlety, but for now the most pressing concern, as far as Sirius could see, was the issue of Bellatrix.

 

Dumbledore had said nothing to him about what he planned for Bellatrix. Until right then. Sirius sat on the other side of Dumbledore’s desk, staring at him in disbelief. The flickering fire was the only light in the dim room, the sun long having set.

 

“I’m sorry, I can’t have heard that correctly. You want to bring  _ Bellatrix Lestrange _ to Grimmauld Place? The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix?” 

 

“I assure you, you heard correctly.” Dumbledore smiled slightly in amusement. “What safer place to take her than Grimmauld Place?”

 

“Safe for  _ her _ , maybe,” Sirius growled, jumping to his feet. “What if she regains her mind and kills us all? What if she returns to Voldemort with - ” He paused. His eyes narrowed. “What are you planning?”

 

“I believe that  _ should _ Bellatrix regain her mind, she could be a valuable asset to the Order.” Dumbledore held up a hand when Sirius opened his mouth to argue. “But that will only happen if we are the ones to guide her.”

 

“You want a spy. Why? You have Snape for that.”

 

Dumbledore smiled, eyes twinkling. “We both know Bellatrix does not possess the temperament for a spy.” Then, more seriously, “She is, however, an extraordinarily powerful witch and a highly accomplished duelist. Both are valuable in war.”

 

“Your plan hinges on her defecting from the Death Eaters,” Sirius said, a hundred half-formed thoughts swirling through his mind.

 

Dumbledore understood the unspoken question, what Sirius could not manage to put into words. “Bellatrix remembers you - and fondly. She has taken care of you as best she can. I believe that means something.”

 

“It means she’s lost her mind.”

 

“Perhaps.” Dumbledore peered at him over his half-moon speckles. “What would you have me do, Sirius?”

 

“I don’t know,” Sirius admitted. “I don’t like this.”

 

Dumbledore steepled his fingers together. “If we fail - if Bellatrix cannot be rehabilitated, then she will be released either into forest or into the care of a family member. If she  _ can _ regain her mind, then we have either a powerful and talented witch in our ranks with valuable information about Voldemort and his Death Eaters that Severus may not be aware of  _ or _ ...” Here Dumbledore’s eyes hardened in a way that made Sirius keenly aware he was in the presence of one of the greatest wizards of all time. “Bellatrix Lestrange will be unrepentant but able to be tried for her crimes. She will spend the rest of her life in Azkaban, and her victims and their families will have justice.”

 

Sirius hated it, but he saw the logic. A bitter taste filled his mouth at the thought of taking the happy creature he had seen playing with her pack and ripping that all away for a life of torment in Azkaban.  _ But that’s not what Bellatrix really is, _ Sirius reminded himself.  _ That happy wolf is a cold-blooded killer. _

 

“Any information Bellatrix has will be useless. It’s a decade a half out of date.”

 

“Perhaps,” Dumbledore said mildly. 

 

_ That’s not suspicious at all. _ “You think she knows something about what Voldemort plans to do? How? The situation is very different now.”

 

“I have suspicions about Voldemort that she may be able to answer,” Dumbledore said. “But I will keep them to myself until I have more information.”

 

Sirius blew a strand of hair out of his face. “Fine. So  _ maybe _ she knows something. You still give her too much credit.”

 

“I won’t argue that I am sometimes too optimistic about a person’s true nature,” Dumbledore said. Sirius thought he would continue, but the silence stretched on a few moments too long. 

 

Another horrible thought occurred to him. “What do you mean she might be given to ‘a family member’?”

 

“It will take time, as well as a commitment and dedication to ensuring Bellatrix’s wellbeing and pursuing her rehabilitation that none in the Order currently possess. Outside help will be required. To that end, I am enlisting both - ”

 

“No,” Sirius said, slamming his hands down on Dumbledore’s desk, eyes wide with horror and understanding. “ _ No _ . Absolutely not.”

 

Dumbledore gazed up at him, unfased by his outburst. “I have already sent two owls. They will be received any moment now.”

 

Sirius cursed.

 

 

Narcissa had only stepped out of the drawing room for a few minutes, giving some excuse about getting another bottle of wine. She needed to collect herself. When Lucius had been summoned by the Dark Lord, she had a wild surge of hope that maybe, just maybe, it had been Bellatrix would had aided in his return.  But Lucius had returned hours later, pale faced and anxious, and had read the unspoken question in her mind. With a slight shake of his head, her hopes had been dashed. 

 

It took longer, however, for wounds that had been reopened to heal. She brought a hand up to the bird skull pendant she wore, touching it lightly with one hand, the other hand still gripping the neck of the wine bottle, and listened at the drawing room door, which she had left open a crack.

 

Avery, MacNair and Yaxley sat on a long couch with their backs to the door. Two wingback chairs were arranged facing them with a long coffee table between them. Lucius sat in one of the chairs, swirling his wine glass slightly in his hand. MacNair glanced to his right at the fireplace then back to Lucius.

 

“Who do you think the Dark Lord will choose to take that bitch’s place?” MacNair asked.

 

Narcissa tightened her grip on the pendent, the sharp corners cutting into her palm.

 

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” Lucius said, his expression neutral. 

 

MacNair snorted. “Bellatrix, of course. She wasn’t there in the graveyard, was she? She’s definitely dead. So who do you think will take her place in the Dark Lord’s eyes?”

 

Hands trembling with rage, Narcissa peered through the crack. Lucius calmly poured himself the last of the wine. 

 

“No one will take Bellatrix’s place in the Dark Lord’s esteem, gentlemen,” he said smoothly. “Bellatrix was an incredible witch and highly devoted to the cause. Our ranks suffer from her absence, and we are poorer for having lost her.” Narcissa’s lips twitched into a smile despite her anger. Lucius and Bellatrix had never gotten along, though they had done their best to be civil for her sake. “I would take care how you address her in the Dark Lord’s presence. As I understand it, he is disappointed to learn of her demise.”

 

Lucius’s voice turned cool. “Furthermore, I advise that you take care how you speak of my sister-in-law to me.”

 

MacNair snorted. “You never liked her, Lucius, no need to pretend.”

 

“Whether I liked Bellatrix or not is of no consequence. She and my wife were very close, and she is sorely missed. I will not have you speaking badly of her in my home. Is that understood?” 

 

MacNair rolled his eyes, and Narcissa decided it was time to make her presence known.

 

Striding into the room, she said, “I try to be a graceful host, MacNair, but I will not abide my family being spoken ill of, be they dead or alive.” She politely topped off Avery and Yaxley’s wine glasses, and, not looking at MacNair, informed him, “Until you learn how to behave in polite company, you are no longer welcome here. I am sure you can see yourself out.”

 

Outraged, MacNair turned to Lucius. “Lucius, are you going to let your wife do this?”

 

Lucius raised an eyebrow. “It’s already done.”

 

MacNair turned red with fury but knew better than to argue further. He stormed out the drawing room door. Lucius stood and strolled over to the windows which looked out onto the gardens and the pathway to the gates. Narcissa seated herself in the second wingback chair next Lucius’s without a word. 

 

The front doors slammed. Narcissa poured herself a glass of wine and sipped it, enjoying the way Avery’s and Yaxley’s eyes darted about the room awkwardly. After a minute or two, Lucius returned to his seat. He raised his glass, and Narcissa raised hers wondering what he meant to do.

 

“To Bellatrix,” Lucius said, and his eyes held a hint of warning. Avery and Yaxley, who Narcissa knew had hated Bellatrix and covetted her position in the Dark Lord’s esteem, both raised their glasses and mumbled unhappily, “To Bellatrix.”

 

“To Bellatrix,” Narcissa whispered, blinking back tears, moved by Lucius’s gesture.

 

The conversation was a little more subdued after that. Narcissa remained polite, ever the gracious host, until they left. The second she and Lucius were alone again, she moved to the couch and slumped back against it, eyes closed.

 

Lucius sat beside her and stroked her hair. “If you want to hex MacNair, I will come up with an alibi.”

 

Narcissa smiled, cracking open an eye to look at him. “I think I can manage. It’s not as if it’s shocking to me that Bellatrix wasn’t well liked.”

 

“She did lack certain...qualities,” Lucius said.

 

Narcissa snorted. “Like a tolerance for bullshit.” Leaning against him, she rested her head on his shoulder, and sighed when he wrapped his arm around her. “Thank you. For defending her. I know you two never got along.”

 

“An understatement,” Lucius said in amusement. Then he added, “But I meant what I said. I don’t have to like her to know what she meant to you. I know you had hoped... I’m sorry I couldn’t bring you better news that night.”

 

Narcissa curled up against him, staring at the fireplace. “I thought I had made my peace with never knowing.” She paused. “I wish she were here. Now more than ever. With the Dark Lord returning, and Draco idolizing you so...” She swallowed hard. “Lucius, I’m scared. Draco wants to be just like you, and - ”

 

“And Draco is still in school,” Lucius said, tightening his arm around her. He took her hand and squeezed it gently. “He will be for another three years. The Dark Lord has no use for school children.” He kissed the top of her head. “And I will keep him safe, I promise you. Together, we will keep him safe.”

 

“You can’t promise that,” Narcissa whispered. “It’s a war. You can’t guarantee...” She trailed off.

 

“I will keep our son safe,” Lucius repeated, determined. 

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to doubt you, I just worry...”

 

“I know.” He kissed the top of her head again. Softly, he said, “For what it’s worth, I would prefer having Bellatrix here too. Helping me look after both you and Draco. Knowing she would be there for you both in case something were to happen to me.”

 

Narcissa closed her eyes. “If anything happens to you, Lucius, I will kill you myself. So don’t you even  _ dare _ think of - ” 

 

A peck at the window startled her. She and Lucius turned to look at the window behind them. A barn owl, like the ones she remembered at Hogwarts, perched on the windowsill outside, a letter in its beak. It tapped at the window again, feathers ruffled by a strong breeze.

 

Lucius frowned. “Were you expecting anything?” 

 

“No,” Narcissa said, and Lucius stood. She got to her feet, hovering as he opened the window and took the letter. The owl flew off, and he closed the window with one hand, staring at the letter with furrowed brows. “What is it?”

 

“It’s addressed to you,” Lucius said. He squinted at parchment in disbelief. “This looks like Albus Dumbledore’s handwriting.”

 

Narcissa’s heart skipped a beat, dread shooting through her. “Is it Draco? Did something happen to him?”

 

Lucius handed her the letter. She tore it open. Scanning it, her terror melted into confusion. 

 

“What does it say?” Lucius asked, frowning. “Is it about Draco?”

 

“No. It just says ‘An urgent matter has been brought to my attention which I think will be of great personal interest to you’. He wants to meet with me tomorrow afternoon .”

 

“I don’t like it.”

 

“He’s definitely up to something...but I don’t think I will be in any danger. What would he have to gain from harming me? A move like that would only harm his cause.”

 

“You want to go?”

 

“I’m curious, I must admit.”

 

Lucius frowned. He squeezed her arm. “I can’t stop you, but please be careful.”

 

Narcissa smiled at him. “I always am.”

 

  


 

Andromeda rested her head on Ted’s chest, curled up against him on the couch as he watched some nature documentary on...badgers or coyotes or something. She had stopped paying attention a while ago, lulled half to sleep by the narrator’s soothing voice, the sound of Ted’s heart beat and the feeling of his fingers running through her hair.

 

Something tapped on the window; it sounded like an owl. 

 

_ Go away, _ she thought, but it tapped again, and Ted shifted, trying to get up from the couch without waking her. An impossible feat, but she loved that he tried.

 

Sighing, she said groggily, “I’ll go get it.”

 

“Sorry, ‘Dromeda,” Ted said. “I know how much you were enjoying this program.”

 

Andromeda rolled her eyes, slapping him playfully on the arm. She trudged out of the living room, eyes half-closed, glaring blearily at the owl watching them from a dining room window. When she reached the window, she tossed it open.

 

“I was enjoying a nice night with my husband, you glorified flying pillow case,” she said.

 

It glared right back and hooted around the parchment in its beak. Andromeda studied the writing on the outside. Her name written in a hand she recognized but couldn’t place. Maybe that Shacklebolt fellow who had been put in charge of the hunt for Sirius? Merlin, she hoped not. 

 

If she thought the Aurors were bad after Bellatrix’s disappearance, it was nothing compared to the Ministry showing up on her door with Dementors to search her property.  _ As if Sirius would dare to show his face, _ she thought. At least the rest of her family was honest. As much as it hurt that they turned their backs on her, being tricked and lied to hurt worse.

 

And how many times did she have to tell them she didn't know anything Sirius's escape? Much less whether Bellatrix were still alive! If anyone knew that, it would be Narcissa, and from the agitated way the Auror questioning her had responded when she had said that, she knew they already asked Narcissa and had been predictably thrown out of Malfoy Manor on their asses.

 

_ I'm sure that conversation was full of tact and grace. “Do you mind if we accuse you of faking your sister being dead?”  _ While it had not been worded quite so poorly to her, Andromeda had had half a mind to toss them out as well - but Dora was in training to be an Auror, and she had no desire to risk complicating her daughter's career over what she knew, logically, were necessary questions and suspicions.

 

Still, it hadn't sat well with her, and she had hoped she had seen the last of the Aurors nearly a year ago. Reluctantly, she took the letter and closed the window on the owl absentmindedly. It hooted indignantly. She ignored it, opening the envelope and shaking out the letter. She felt a sickening sensation in the pit of her stomach as she read the first line:  _ Lord Voldemort has returned.  _

 

“‘Dromeda?” Ted’s worried voice sounded distant to her ears.

 

Taking a deep shaky breath, she continued reading.

 

_ The Order is reforming. If you are willing, there is an urgent matter I wish to discuss with you _ .  _ Meet me tomorrow outside the gates to Hogsmeade at noon... _ Her eyes fell down to the signature.  _ Albus Dumbledore _ .

 

“‘Dromeda?”

 

Andromeda startled. Ted stood beside her. She hadn’t even noticed him get up from the couch. He placed a hand on her arm. 

 

“You’re pale. What’s wrong?”

 

Wordlessly, Andromeda handed him the letter. His face paled as he read it, his mouth set in a grim line.

 

“Ted, Dora - ” she started.

 

He swept her up into a tight embrace. “Dora is a capable Auror.” He pulled back, cupping her face in his hands and brushing his thumbs just under her eyes. He smiled slightly. “Smart and strong, just like her mother.” The smile faded. “She’ll be alright.”

 

Andromeda couldn’t stop the anxiety rising inside her, threatening to choke her. “She’s headstrong and reckless and doesn’t think things through - ”

 

“We’ll be - we’ll be better prepared this time, and Dora has been trained to fight Dark wizards. She knows what she’s doing.” Perhaps sensing that his words were not reassuring, Ted glanced at the letter in his hand again. “Are you going to meet with Dumbledore tomorrow?”

 

“I don’t suppose staying out of Dumbledore’s plans will make Dora any safer, do you?”

 

Ted shook his head.

 

Andromeda closed her eyes and took a breath. “I’ll meet with him. I can’t imagine what I could possibly help him with - unless he thinks I know something about Sirius I haven't told the Aurors.” She grimaced. 

 

“Possibly,” Ted said, though he didn’t sound entirely convinced. “Whatever if it is, I’m sure it’s important.” 

 

“You’re right. Besides...” She laughed bitterly. “It’s not as if we have a choice. We can’t let You-Know-Who win. We can't...I won't...” Fear bubbled up inside of her, and she grabbed the back of Ted’s neck and kissed him hard. Dora had always been her first concern, then and now, but her heart clenched at the thought of losing Ted, of what life would be like for him in a world where Voldemort ruled. 

 

Despite her fear, a sense of fierce determination filled her. She rested her forehead against his own. When she spoke, her voice sounded stronger. “I won’t let him take my family from me. Not Dora. Not you.” 

 

Ted met her gaze, and she saw her own determination reflected back at her. “We’ll make it through this. Together.”


	8. Reunion Part II

Narcissa crossed her arms, waiting impatiently at Hogwarts’ gates. Hogsmeade was a flurry of activity in the distance. The castle grounds were largely empty. With the students heading home in the morning, most would be doing some last minute packing, though she had half-hoped she would be able to see Draco. Her eyes followed a blonde haired student as they walked around the Lake, but they were too far away for her to know whether it was him. Likely not. Knowing Draco, she thought with a soft smile, he would be frantically trying to pull together the last of his books and the second halves of several pairs of socks.

 

She checked her pocket watch. Almost time for Dumbledore to meet her. 

 

A soft  _ pop _ from behind startled her. She whipped around, drawing her wand - and came face to face with an equally shocked Andromeda. 

 

Narcissa’s heart clenched. Even after so many years, her resemblance to Bellatrix had not faded; with her dashed hopes still raw, it felt like salt in the wound - as if Andromeda, the traitor, had any right to look like Bellatrix. It was an irrational thought, but that knowledge did not make Narcissa less furious. 

 

“What are you doing here?” she snapped.

 

“I could ask you the same,” Andromeda said coolly, pushing Narcissa’s wand aside.

 

“That’s none of your business.”

 

Andromeda bristled, opening her mouth to retort, but the gates swung open, and Albus Dumbledore strode out to greet them. 

 

“Hello, Narcissa. Andromeda.” He bowed his head respectfully to each of them in turn, a pleasant smile on his face. “Thank you both for agreeing to meet with me.”

 

“Both?” Narcissa and Andromeda said and then glanced sharply at each other.

 

“Yes, this matter concerns the both of you. But it is not safe to speak of it here.”

 

“What are you planning?” Narcissa demanded.

 

“I assure you this is not a trap,” he said, answering the unspoken accusation. “But it is not safe to speak openly. You will understand shortly. I am sure you can appreciate my caution.” He gazed at her over his half-moon spectacles.

 

Yes, she understood caution all too well. But what could he want to speak with both her and Andromeda about? There was nothing they had in common anymore. 

 

Dumbledore began walking toward the trees. Looking baffled, Andromeda followed him. He stopped at the forest edge and turned to face her. His tone was pleasant but firm. “If you wish to know more, this is your only chance, Narcissa.”

 

“You haven’t told me anything.” Narcissa remained rooted to the spot. “Forgive me if I have no desire to wander off into the wilderness on your word.”

 

Dumbledore studied her for a few seconds, and though there were no tell-tale signs of Legilimency, it felt as though he looked right through her. When he spoke, she felt her resolve crumble.

 

“This matter concerns your family.”

 

_ Damn you, _ Narcissa thought, anger and dread thrumming through her whole body. Jaw clenched, she strode after him without another word. 

 

They skirted around the edges of Hogsmeade, keeping out of sight. As they passed by the Shrieking Shack, a large black dog with striking gray eyes joined them. Narcissa’s footsteps faltered. One of the first things the Dark Lord had informed Lucius to keep his eyes open for was a large black dog - Sirius Black, an illegal Animagus, and a member of the Order of the Phoenix.

 

She forced herself to continue as though she knew nothing. Andromeda shot her a glance. Of course Andromeda caught the slip. She was always incredibly perceptive when it came to her and Bellatrix, a trait that Narcissa had found comfort in once. Sirius barked at Andromeda in greeting. 

 

Andromeda smiled at him. “I see we have a new friend.”

 

Narcissa kept her expression neutral and studied Andromeda.  _ She doesn’t know _ , she concluded. 

 

Sirius wagged his tail hard.

 

Dumbledore spoke. “Is she waiting for us?”

 

Sirius nodded, a distinctly human gesture. Andromeda stiffened, catching on that Sirius was not a dog at all. 

 

_ Does she know it’s Sirius, however? _ Narcissa wondered.

 

“Is  _ who _ waiting for us?” Andromeda asked, the question not quite a demand. Narcissa wasn’t sure whether it comforted her or alarmed her that Andromeda did not know any more than she did.

 

Dumbledore said only, “When it is safe, I will tell you.”

 

Once clear of Hogsmeade they left the forest and started up a mountain. Narcissa kept her irritation and exhaustion from her face. Andromeda did not bother. 

 

“Where are you taking us?”

 

“I understand your impatience, Andromeda,” Dumbledore said politely, “but for what I have to show you, we must be sure we are safe from prying eyes.”

 

Andromeda and Narcissa glanced at each other. Sirius trotted up the mountainside, his canine body handling the terrain with ease. 

 

Halfway up the mountain, Sirius disappeared, slipping between some rocks into a cave. Dumbledore stepped aside, allowing Narcissa and Andromeda to enter first. Narcissa kept one hand in her robes pocket, her wand clutched tight in her hand. 

 

Sirius slipped back out of the cave, stopped outside and howled. Once he received a howl in response, he rejoined them.

 

Narcissa was tired of waiting. “What are we here for, Dumbledore?” she snapped. “What are you and Sirius planning?”

 

“Sirius?” Andromeda asked. “What does Sirius have to do with any of this?”

 

“He’s been following us since the Shrieking Shack.” Ignoring Andromeda’s shock, Narcissa pinned Dumbledore with an icy stare. “What is this about? What do you know about my family? Is Draco in danger?”

 

“Lord Voldemort has returned. We are all in danger. None more so than those closest to him,” Dumbledore said pointedly. 

 

“Sirius?” Andromeda said, her face twisting with such fury that Narcissa felt a stab of fear. Sirius's tail tucked between his legs, and he slunk off to hide in the shadows along the wall. “What is  _ Sirius _ doing here?”

 

Dumbledore was unfazed by her anger. “Sirius is an innocent man. He was framed by Peter Pettigrew, a servant of Lord Voldemort - and who is still very much alive.”

 

Narcissa suppressed another flinch at hearing the Dark Lord's name spoken so brazenly.

 

Andromeda took a step back, reeling. “He’s... Sirius is...” She whirled to face Narcissa, jabbing a finger at her. “You knew,” she hissed. “You knew he was innocent, didn’t you, and you said  _ nothing _ \- ”

 

“I knew he wasn’t a Death Eater,” Narcissa said, crossing her arms. “I did  _ not _ know that he didn’t kill Peter Pettigrew or all those muggles, which is what he went to Azkaban  _ for _ .”

 

Andromeda did not look appeased in the slightest.

 

“Enough stalling,” Narcissa snapped, turning back to Dumbledore. “Tell us now why we are here or I’m leaving - ”

 

“I must speak with you about your sister, Bellatrix,” Dumbledore said. He was serious now, strangely so for a conversation about a woman who had been dead for over a decade.

 

Andromeda remained quiet, and Narcissa felt a coldness creep over her. After so many years, she had finally reached something like peace with her sister's death, only for it to be ripped open, and Albus Dumbledore wanted to drag all of that to the surface in front him and Andromeda and Sirius?

 

“Bella is - she's gone,” she snapped, still stumbling over the phrase so many years later. Her voice broke, but neither Dumbledore nor Andromeda mentioned it. “What could you possibly want to discuss?”

 

“Perhaps it's best if we sit.” Dumbledore conjured two comfortable looking wingback chairs for her and Andromeda, but neither made a move to sit down. Dumbledore continued, “The Ministry believes Bellatrix Lestrange to be dead. But a body was never found.”

 

Narcissa's heart pounded in her chest, despite the constricting feeling making it harder to breath. 

 

“Did Bellatrix ever tell you she is an unregistered Animagus?”

 

Andromeda shook her head. Narcissa could not speak, cold fury trickling through the numbness encompassing her body. 

 

“She wasn’t. She would have told me,” she insisted, her words short and clipped, forced out through her anger.

 

“But she is. I know that for a fact.”

 

“How?” Narcissa demanded.

 

Andromeda took a small step forward and said in a small voice, “She...‘ _ is _ ’?”

 

Narcissa’s heart stuttered.

 

Dumbledore clasped his hands together. “The reason a body was never found is because, as it has recently come to my attention, Bellatrix Lestrange is, in fact, very much alive.”

 

The words hit like a punch to the chest. Narcissa instinctively grabbed Andromeda’s wrist, struggling to steady herself. She felt her knees buckle, and Andromeda stumbled back a step. With a wave of Dumbledore’s wand, the chairs bumped into the back of their legs, sending them collapsing back into their comfort.

 

_ It can’t be, _ Narcissa thought.

 

“How?” Andromeda asked weakly.

 

“Where is she?” Narcissa demanded.

 

“She’ll be joining us any moment,” Dumbledore said. 

 

Sirius sniffed the air. He transformed. Andromeda blinked, looking dazed, as if she had forgotten they ever spoke of him. “She’s right outside,” he said hoarsely, just as a snuffling at the cave entrance reached Narcissa’s ears.

 

A black wolf entered the cave, grey eyes roving over the inside. It let out a low warning bark as it started to back out. Andromeda rose half out of her seat. Narcissa froze, fingers digging into the armrests. The wolf met Narcissa’s eyes. It cocked its head to the side curiously.

 

Sirius knelt down, holding out a hand. “Come here, Trixie. It’s alright.”

 

The wolf went to him, trotting past the chairs, shying away from them. Sirius scratched at its back. 

 

Andromeda looked from the wolf to the cave entrance as if expecting Bellatrix to be waiting there, but Narcissa felt numb. 

 

“‘Trixie’,” she said with barely restrained anger. Her eyes moved from the wolf to Sirius to Dumbledore. “What kind of sick joke is this?” She rose from her chair, hands shaking. “You find a some animal  and think to play some twisted game. For what? That isn’t Bellatrix.” Tears pricked at her eyes. 

 

Dumbledore cleared his throat, unfazed. “I understand your disbelief. However, this is your sister. I had hoped to explain before she arrived - ”

 

“Prove to me that’s my sister,” she hissed.

 

Dumbledore regarded her a moment then nodded. He raised his wand, pointing it at the wolf who snarled. Andromeda snatched Narcissa’s hand and tugged her back behind the chairs.

 

There was a flash of light. The wolf twisted and turned and changed shape and then -

 

Bellatrix stood hunched in the middle of the cave. 

 

Narcissa choked out a sob, sagging against Andromeda for support as her legs threatened to give out. Andromeda clutched the back of the chair in a white knuckled grip, mouth open, eyes wide and tears streaming down her face. She gasped, her other hand clasping Narcissa’s, desperate for something to ground her. 

 

Bellatrix was dirty, her clothing torn and stained with grass and blood, her hair matted and tangled and filthy, falling almost to her ankles. Worst of all, her eyes still held the feral look that had caused Narcissa to doubt when the wolf had entered the cave. She stared at Narcissa, and Narcissa found it hard to breathe: she wasn’t sure Bellatrix knew her at all.

 

Sirius took a deep breath, running a hand through his long hair and shaking it out. One hand rested on Bellatrix’s back. “She won’t stay like this for long. She’ll transform back soon.”

 

“She has spent too much time as an animal without human contact,” Dumbledore said. “There is much to the story I still do not understand. I believe you both can help me fill in the gaps and perhaps, with help from you both, we can restore Bellatrix’s mind.”

 

Narcissa placed a hand over her mouth, stifling another sob. She lurched forward a step, her limbs not quite obeying her in her shock. Bellatrix, who had been standing eerily still, exploded in movement, stumbling back, falling. It was like she had forgotten how to walk. Narcissa watched, horrified, as Bellatrix crawled backward until she hit a dark corner, curled in on herself, and growled from deep in her chest.

 

“Bella...” Narcissa whispered. Tears dripped down her cheeks. She sank to the cave floor, her legs no longer able to support her weight. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she bent over, gasping. Someone knelt beside her and placed a soothing hand on her back. She looked up. Andromeda gathered her into her arms. Narcissa leaned against her, forgetting, in that moment, the divide between them.

 

“It seems Bellatrix has been living in the Forbidden Forest for over a decade,” Dumbledore said, and Narcissa turned red eyes toward him, struggling to regain her composure. “She found herself among one of the wolf packs roaming the forest. I can only assume that aided in her mental decline, reinforcing the wolfish behaviors.” He paused, allowing her and Andromeda a moment to absorb the information. “In the long run, I cannot say whether it will be possible to restore Bellatrix to herself. Just as I cannot say how having joined a wolf pack will help or hinder her recovery. She is, perhaps, in a better state than if she had been alone. However, there is no record I know of detailing a successful rehabilitation of this kind.”

 

Narcissa turned back to Bellatrix. Her sister's eyes darted around the cave, lingering on the entrance. Her whole body tensed like a coiled spring. The growling only increased in volume. Andromeda shifted, kicking a rock with her foot and when it clattered away, echoing in the enclosed space, Bellatrix jumped, head snapping around to stare at Andromeda, curling further in on herself. Her eyes flickered from the entrance to each person in the room as if she were trying to watch them all at once.

 

_ She's terrified _ , Narcissa realized, and a strange mix of heartbreak and fear filled her. She had never seen Bellatrix afraid, not like this. 

 

But that wasn't true, was it? Bellatrix's eyes had been wide and wild the last night Narcissa had seen her. When she had fought desperately to keep Draco safe, when she had looked at Narcissa right before sprinting toward the window.

 

Her whole life Narcissa had counted on Bellatrix's strength, counted on Bellatrix to ground her and now... Now that strength was gone, and it terrified Narcissa.

 

But then wide grey eyes pinned her with an intensity that strangely calmed her.

 

She had survived fourteen years without Bellatrix, even if she had leaned on the memory of her sister's strength, and on the different kind of strength Lucius provided. She was not as strong as Bellatrix had been, but she wasn't helpless either - that she had learned being a mother. Like when Draco injured himself as a child, it didn't matter, at this moment, how she felt: Bellatrix needed her to be calm and steady.

 

Maybe, she thought, that was what Bellatrix's strength had really been all along: being what Narcissa needed, as best she could.

 

“What...” Andromeda swallowed. “What do we do?”

 

“Bellatrix will be moved to a safer location tomorrow,” Dumbledore said, and terror ripped through Narcissa. “If either of you are interested in helping Bellatrix with her recovery, you will be welcome there, but you are, of course, under no obligation to help her. Andromeda, I know your relationship with Bellatrix has been - ”

 

“Of course I will,” Andromeda snapped, outraged. Narcissa bristled. Andromeda had no right acting like the question was baseless. 

 

Narcissa felt Dumbledore's eyes on her, but she kept her gaze on Bellatrix. She remained on her knees, hoping it would put Bellatrix more at ease, and carefully moved closer. 

 

“Cissy, be careful!” Andromeda hissed.

 

Narcissa ignored her. “Bella,” she said softly. Bellatrix focused on her with an intensity that made her shiver. “Bella, it's me. Narcissa. Cissy. Your sister. Please...”

 

At the sound of Narcissa’s nickname, the growls began to subside. Bellatrix's body unwound slightly. Something like recognition flickered in her eyes as she studied Narcissa. 

 

Andromeda crouched beside Narcissa, her movements careful as if she feared that one wrong move would send Bellatrix bolting. A valid concern, in Narcissa's opinion. 

 

“I’m here too, Bella. It will be alright.” 

 

Narcissa pursed her lips. It wouldn't do to start a fight. Not now.

 

Bellatrix huddled against the cave wall, shaking, eyes darting between them. Narcissa lifted her hand. Andromeda caught her wrist, but before Narcissa could say anything, Andromeda reached out her other hand.

 

“Let me,” Andromeda murmured. “We don't know how she'll react.”

 

Narcissa's chest tightened. “Oh, you want to protect me  _ now _ ?”

 

Andromeda glanced at her sharply, eyes flashing, but said nothing. She turned back to Bellatrix. Bella’s eyes tracked Andromeda's hand, but she made no move to either attack or shy away, nor did she start to growl again. Andromeda let her hand hover by Bellatrix's head, close enough to brush the tips of her fingers against Bellatrix's cheek.

 

For a moment, Bella did nothing. Then, closing her eyes, she leaned into the touch. Narcissa's breath caught in her throat, and she felt a tremor run through Andromeda. Andromeda brushed the hair from Bellatrix's face. Her fingers traced a thin scar that Narcissa did not recognize, one that started on one side of Bellatrix's nose and ran over the bridge of it to the other side, stopping halfway across her cheek.

 

“When did she get this?” Andromeda asked softly.

 

Slowly, Narcissa reached out to trace it as Andromeda had done. Bellatrix curled in on herself and bared her teeth. Narcissa froze, her heart clenching. 

 

Andromeda drew in a soft breath. “I don't think she recognizes you, not with - ”

 

“Thank you,” Narcissa snapped, eyes watering, and she drew back her hand. Bellatrix leaned forward to Narcissa's confusion. “I can see that, I don't need you rubbing it in that she recognizes  _ you _ \- ”

 

She spat the last word, and Andromeda cut her off.

 

“Shut up. Shut up and  _ listen _ .” Andromeda grabbed strands of Narcissa's hair and held them up. “You dyed your hair. She doesn't recognize you because you _ look different. _ ”

 

“She recognized me as a dog,” Sirius said. “I don't think Narcissa's dye job tops that.”

 

“Was she a wolf?” Andromeda said. Sirius nodded, looking as confused as Narcissa felt. “Then she recognized you some other way. Smell, maybe. Or am I the only one who's noticed how she keeps sniffing the air?”

 

“Keeps - what?” Narcissa paused, and then she heard the soft sniffing. Bellatrix stopped, shifting, agitated. 

 

Sirius wrinkled his nose. “She recognized me by smell?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“I don't stink, and I'm offended you would even suggest that.”

 

Andromeda ignored him and touched Narcissa’s arm. “She responds to your voice. Try again, but talk to her this time.”

 

Narcissa yanked her arm away from Andromeda. Bellatrix was her sister, not Andromeda's, not anymore, and the thought that Andromeda knew Bellatrix better than her rankled.

 

Andromeda's lip curled for a fleeting second and then it was gone, her attention back to Bellatrix, watching with anticipation as Narcissa reached out to her.

 

Narcissa swallowed but her mouth was dry. “It's me, Bella. It's Cissy. I can't believe you're here...”

 

Bellatrix met her gaze, unblinking, and this time, when Narcissa traced the thin scar across the bridge of Bellatrix's nose, she did not pull away.

 

“All this time... What have you done to yourself...?”

 

Narcissa sobbed. Covering her mouth with her other hand to muffle the sound, she trailed her finger over the thin scar. It was old and somewhat faded. Something she must have gotten somehow living in the forest. Bellatrix closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, fully relaxing for the first time, and Narcissa drew Bellatrix into her arms.

 

She buried her face in Bella's filthy hair and cried, holding her tight. Andromeda wrapped her arms around the both of them. Bellatrix whined softly. 

 

“It's okay, Bella,” Andromeda soothed, her voice breaking. “We're just happy. So very happy.”

 

But Narcissa felt something else too, something she had not expected. She pulled back, holding Bellatrix at arms length and growled, “You  _ bitch _ . I thought you were  _ dead _ , all this time, you let  _ this  _ happen to you instead of - ” Her voice broke, her resolve shattering at the confused and sad look in Bellatrix's eyes. Another sob tore itself from her throat, and she yanked Bellatrix back into her arms. 

 

Bellatrix whined, a soft and heartbreaking sound. It was so unlike Bellatrix that Narcissa could not help the cold fear that struck her heart. 

 

“It’s okay, Bella,” Andromeda murmured. “We’ve got you.” She rested her forehead on Bella’s shoulder. “Why did you hide like this? We would have - ” She cut herself off, pulling back to watch Bellatrix’s reaction.

 

Bellatrix did not answer, only cocked her head slightly in curiosity. Narcissa didn’t think she understood the question, as she had not understood Narcissa’s anger.

 

“I believe that is something only Bellatrix will be able to tell us for certain,” Dumbledore said, startling Narcissa and Andromeda. Narcissa had forgotten he was there. “Perhaps you will be able to shed some light on this as well, Narcissa. However, it has been a long day. I recommend we pursue this line of questioning tomorrow. If, of course, you both wish to help Bellatrix.”

 

A chill ran down Narcissa’s spine.  _ They’re going to take Bellatrix _ . The panicked thought circled in her head. She could not let Bellatrix remain among her enemies, but she would never be able to fight Dumbledore alone.

 

Bellatrix whined, and then, to Narcissa’s dismay, she held the black wolf whose gorgeous fur was so unlike Bellatrix’s matted and filthy hair.

 

“It will likely take some time before she may begin using her human form again,” Dumbledore said. “I do not wish to force the change for fear she will associate it with stress and discomfort.”

 

Narcissa held Bellatrix tighter to her. Her mind worked frantically to think of a way out of this.   
  
Dumbledore seemed to sense her thoughts. “I do not wish to fight you, Narcissa. Nor do I wish to cause Bellatrix any undue stress. I believe we can help each other.”

 

Narcissa swallowed. She clung to the wolf, one thought at the forefront of her mind. "You're not moving her tomorrow. You wouldn't tell me that. It risks me coming back and moving her first. You have people waiting, don't you?"

  
  
Dumbledore inclined his head respectfully. "I do intend to move her today. After you have left, in fact. I had hoped to give you a little time to think over my proposal."

  
  
"You were going to watch and see what I did," Narcissa said. "But why are you telling me? Do you plan to kill me if I don't join you? Obliviate me?"

  
  
Andromeda tensed. She watched Dumbledore sharply. 

  
  
"No," Dumbledore said. "I have no intention of harming you, Narcissa. And as I am sure Lucius knows all about this meeting, Obliviating you would be a poor move on my part."

  
  
"Altering my memory would be a better move," Narcissa said.

  
  
"It would. But ultimately it does not matter what you tell your Master. Bellatrix will be out of his reach before he can act. If he acts. Coming to fight me for a mere follower? He can't risk that kind of exposure." Dumbledore gazed at Narcissa thoughtfully. "Do you think Lord Voldemort - " Narcissa flinched, sucking in a sharp breath between her teeth. " - would care about Bellatrix?"

  
  
"She was - " Narcissa paused, unsure how much to reveal.

  
  
"I know Voldemort held her in high esteem when she was useful to him. But is she useful to him still? It will take time and care and dedication to restore Bellatrix to her rightful mind - assuming she  _ can _ be rehabilitated, of course. It's a lot of effort for an uncertain reward, isn't it?"

  
  
"She's my sister," Narcissa hissed, "I don't need a reward - "

  
  
"You don't, of course," Dumbledore said firmly. "But Voldemort? He is a different matter entirely."

  
  
Andromeda spoke softly, as if afraid to voice her concern. "Would it be safe for her to be around Death Eaters like this?"

  
  
"Is it safe for her to be around the Order? Her enemies?" Narcissa snarled, even as she felt a sickening swooping sensation in the pit of her stomach. The conversation in the drawing room sprang to the front of her mind. Bellatrix was not well liked - hated even - among the Death Eaters. Narcissa wanted to believe she could protect her sister, but if the Death Eaters knew that Bellatrix was this vulnerable would she be able to keep her safe? Surely the Dark Lord would order Bellatrix to be left alone, but Narcissa was not foolish enough to believe that would stop any Death Eater who thought they could get away with harming her.

  
  
She tightened her arms around Bellatrix, fisting her hands in her fur. Chest tightening, her eyes darted around the cave, hoping she could somehow find a way to escape.

  
  
Dumbledore approached her. Bending over, he placed one hand on her shoulder and another on top of Bellatrix's head. He scratched light behind Bella’s ears, and her eyes drifted half-closed and she growled in pleasure - or at least Narcissa assumed that’s what the growling meant.

 

"You have my word that Bellatrix will be safe with the Order."

  
  
Narcissa scoffed. "You expect me to believe that the Order won't take advantage? She fought against you. I'm sure more than one Order member would delight in a chance at revenge."

  
  
"We are not cruel people. I give my word that Bellatrix will be unharmed unless she forces our hand."

  
  
Narcissa grit her teeth. "Prove it. Prove your word means something. Make the Unbreakable Vow."


	9. The Unbreakable Vow

Andromeda and Sirius started.

  
"Cissy, no," Andromeda hissed, her eyes wide with fear. "It's too dangerous. I will be there. I will stay with her, I will keep her safe, don't do this - "

  
Narcissa ignored her. Titling her chin up, she dared Dumbledore, "If your word is meaningful, what do you have to lose?"

  
Dumbledore studied her for a moment. Then he knelt beside Bellatrix on the cave floor and held out a hand. "Sirius, if you would be so kind?"

  
"I'll do it," Andromeda said before Sirius could respond. Narcissa raised an eyebrow at the furious look on Andromeda's face. "If Narcissa is stupid enough to insist on this, I'll be the one to set the terms. No offense, Sirius, but the exact wording is important - ”

  
  
Sirius nodded grimly. "I don't want to be a part of this."

  
  
Narcissa took Dumbledore's hand. Bellatrix sat still and tense, with Narcissa's arm wrapped around her. She whined.

  
  
Andromeda let out a slow breath. "Albus Dumbledore, do you agree to protect Bellatrix Lestrange from harm to the best of your ability - " A slight pause. " - while she is in your care?"

  
  
"I do," Dumbledore said.

  
  
Andromeda's hand shook slightly as a jet of red fire shot from her wand and wrapped around their joined hands.

  
  
"I want a promise that you will protect Draco," Narcissa said. "I know he will be pulled into this war, and I don't know if Lucius and I can keep him safe."

  
Andromeda hesitated. "Albus Dumbledore, do you agree to protect Draco Malfoy to the best of your ability?"

  
"I do."

  
  
Another fiery rope wrapped around their hands.

  
  
"I need assurances from you as well, Narcissa," Dumbledore said. "That you will not reveal Order secrets."

  
  
Andromeda said, "Do you, Narcissa Malfoy, agree not to willingly reveal Order secrets to the Death Eaters?"

  
  
Narcissa's hand tightened around Dumbledore's, wondering what her chances of survival would be if the Dark Lord discovered she knew information and did not tell him. If he discovered her deception, the Vow would not kill her as she had not willingly revealed it to him. Perhaps he would understand and try to find a way to work the situation to his advantage. She hoped he would not take out any displeasure on Draco.

  
  
"I do," she said, deciding that the assurance of protect for Draco outweighed her other concerns.

  
The last rope coiled around their hands. They burned gold and then vanished, sinking into their skin.

  
Andromeda's voice shook. "It's done."

 

Narcissa loosened her hold on Bellatrix slightly. Tried not to question the wisdom of what she had just done. She dropped a kiss to the top of Bellatrix's head. Looking to Dumbledore, she asked, "Where are you taking Bellatrix?"

 

"Somewhere safe," Dumbledore said. "I will give Bellatrix time to adjust before she meets the rest of the Order. I imagine you must be getting home to Lucius."

 

"If you're moving her now, I want to go with her," Narcissa said, a sense of urgency filling her. Or perhaps panic. "I want to see that she is safe for myself."

 

Dumbledore regarded her. "If you are gone too long your husband will become suspicious."

 

"I'll handle Lucius."

 

Andromeda placed a hand on Narcissa's shoulder. "No, Narcissa, he's right."

 

She gently took hold of Narcissa's arms and pulled her to her feet. Narcissa's knees ached in protest. She had not noticed the toll the cave floor took on her body.

 

"I will go with Bellatrix," Andromeda said, glancing at Dumbledore, her expression one of hesitation as though she expected to be overruled, but there was a hard glint in her eyes that promised a fight.

 

Dumbledore did not object. "I will be more than happy for you to accompany us. Perhaps it will help Bellatrix to ease into her new surroundings."

 

Narcissa did not feel reassured in the slightest. "And how can I trust that you won't simply abandon Bellatrix when it becomes convenient for you?"

 

Andromeda bristled. "I'm not the one who throws away their family for convenience."

 

"That's your lot," Sirius said, and Narcissa glared at him.

 

"I don't recall asking your opinion."

 

"Enough," Dumbledore said firmly. "If this is to work, you must behave civilly. It will take cooperation if you hope for Bellatrix to recover." Turning to Narcissa, he said, "You have my Vow that she will be safe. I will bring you to her soon."

 

Narcissa frowned, not willing to concede but unable to see another option. He was right: she had his Vow. What could she do to ensure Bellatrix's protection that Albus Dumbledore, whose very life now depended on her safety, could not? Not that the thought made her feel any better about leaving Bellatrix, not now that she had finally found her again.

 

"I'm not ready," she whispered, looking down at Bellatrix who gazed back up at her. Her grey eyes showed recognition now, of her at least. Tears trickled down Narcissa's cheeks.

 

Andromeda stroked her hair, something she had done when they were children and Narcissa had sought her comfort. She felt torn by the gesture now, comforted and angered and saddened.

 

"I know," Andromeda whispered. "But we have to do what is best. If you stay any longer the Death Eaters will get suspicious and - Cissy, your life depends on acting like everything is normal. If you give yourself away - "

 

Andromeda's eyes swam with fear and tears. Narcissa felt a pang of regret. Not for Andromeda, but for Lucius and Draco. If she gave herself away, the Vow would kill her and where would that leave Draco and Lucius? Andromeda, however, had no business pretending to care what happened to her.

 

She shrugged off Andromeda's touch. "Fine. I'll go. But I expect an owl by tonight, Dumbledore, telling me when I can see my sister again - "

 

"I shall send an owl around two in the morning. I trust Lucius will be asleep by then."

 

Narcissa nodded. "Of course. I will stay up to receive it."

 

"Very well." Dumbledore turned to Sirius and Andromeda. "We should get moving. The sooner Bellatrix is safely away from here, the better."

 

Narcissa knelt in front of Bellatrix, placed her hands on either side of her head and kissed the top of it, eyes closed against her tears. “I’ll be back for you, I promise,” she whispered.

 

Bellatrix whined.

 

“I promise,” she repeated, heart breaking. She forced herself to step back and then, with one last look at Bellatrix, Apparated away.

  
  


 

Narcissa wandered through the gardens of Malfoy Manor, trying to delay her return to the house as much as possible. She knew Lucius had seen her, had caught him watching her from one of the windows, and she suspected he would be joining her any minute. She wasn't sure what to tell him. She couldn't tell "Death Eaters", which meant she was limited in what she could reveal to him, regardless of whether he would agree to keep them secret or not. As much as it pained her to admit it, she was not sure she trusted him to help her keep these secrets even if she could reveal them. Which meant she was alone in this.

 

But perhaps she could tell him about Bellatrix.

 

She sat on a marble bench and watched the water fountain in the middle of the gardens. The bench was not particularly comfortable, but it was ostentatious and flaunted wealth: a trademark of the Malfoy family. She could not say that her family did not do the same, but they had been, perhaps, more reserved. There certainly hadn't been any peacocks wandering the gardens of Black Manor, but Narcissa would take the vanity of exotic birds over walls lined with the severed heads of house elves any day.

 

As she watched one of the peacocks strut past, she heard the crunching of footsteps on gravel approaching. Lucius sat next to her and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

 

"What did Dumbledore want?" he asked.

 

"He found - " A warning tug on the back of her mind, a rising dread, a sudden fatigue. Her vision blurred. Exhausted, she leaned against Lucius.

 

Bellatrix's continued existence, it seemed, was currently an Order secret.

 

Tears pricked at her eyes. She had suspected that might be the case, but she had hoped that she would not be completely alone in this.

 

"Narcissa?" Lucius asked, a hint of alarm in his voice.

 

"I'm fine," Narcissa murmured, lacing her fingers through his. "Just...lost in thought. It was an exhausting meeting."

 

"What did he want?"

 

Narcissa scoffed. "He wanted to discuss my family." True enough. The magic of the Vow did not tug at her.

 

Lucius scowled. "What about our family?"

 

"Just wanting to discuss Draco's future."

 

Lucius tensed.

 

"He wanted us to consider Draco's well being in the coming war." Not true, but it was something that she had worried about herself. If Dumbledore were to try to divide their family or turn them, Draco would be the easiest and most effective method of attack. "I believe he was trying to turn us. Undermine the Dark Lord's support."

 

Lucius scowled. "And what did you tell him?"

 

"No, of course," Narcissa said, outraged at the question. Bristling more at the hint of doubt in his voice.

 

"You were gone a long time for a simple no," Lucius said.

 

Narcissa drew away and glared at him. "I thought it prudent to hear him out, see what he might reveal. Create a sense that I might be willing to turn in case the Dark Lord wished to take advantage of Dumbledore's foolishness."

 

"He has Severus for that."

 

"And he might want me as well. If he does not wish me to pursue it, then I won't. If he does, the groundwork has been laid." Narcissa shoved his shoulder. "I do not appreciate your doubt. I thought you knew me better, Lucius. I thought you trusted me."

 

Lucius had a the decency to look ashamed. "I'm sorry, my love. I'm...a little tense. And you were saying just yesterday how worried for Draco you are."

 

Narcissa jumped to her feet. "So you so easily believe me a traitor?"

 

"No, Narcissa, I didn't mean that - I'm just worried about you and Draco too, and I don't have Bellatrix to rely on to watch out for you anymore, and I - "

 

At the mention of her sister, Narcissa started crying again, all the stress of the day catching up with her. Lucius stood and held up his hands placatingly, but Narcissa did not want to hear his excuses anymore. Dumbledore using Bellatrix against her was one thing, but Lucius using her was another. "Don't you _dare_ use Bellatrix to manipulate me," she snarled, jabbing her finger into Lucius's chest.

 

Lucius's eyes widened. "No, I didn't mean that, my darling, I - "

 

"I will do _anything_ it takes to protect this family because I am loyal, so don't you _dare_ suggest that I would turn traitor at the drop of a _fucking wand_ to a man I have no reason to trust. You think I would put you - put _Draco_ \- in that kind of danger by betraying the Dark Lord? You think me so disloyal?"

 

"No, not disloyal," Lucius said hurriedly, trying to take hold of her hands in his, but she slapped them away, "I think you are so concerned for keeping us safe that sometimes I worry - wrongly, obviously - that you might make an - an unwise choice - "

 

Narcissa stepped back. "Guest room. Tonight. Every night until I say."

 

"Wait, no, Narcissa, darling, please - "

 

She turned on her heel and stormed back in to the manor. The door flew open before her. She strode up the stairs and down the halls, her footsteps muffled by the thick carpet covering most of the stone floors, until she reached the heavy wooden door to their room. She flung it open, grabbed Lucius's night clothes, his toothbrush and toothpaste and a spare set of clothes, crossed to another wing of the manor and threw his belongings onto a bed in a random guest room. Lucius stood at the bottom of the entrance steps, shifting nervously as she passed by the top of the stairs.

 

"Your things are in a guest bedroom."

 

"Which - "

 

"You figure it out," Narcissa snapped. Lucius flinched. When she returned to their room, she locked and enchanted the door against him.

 

It took him only a few minutes to knock on the door timidly. "Narcissa, my love, please, can we talk about this? I promise you I did not mean - "

 

"Then perhaps, Lucius, it would be best for you to take some time and learn how to not shove your foot in our mouth," Narcissa snarled. "I'm going to take a bath. You had better be gone by the time I come out."

 

She drew herself a warm bath, complete with her favorite scented soaps, and stretched out, enjoying the feeling of the hot water soothing the aches and pains in her body from the long and arduous hike. She scooped up a handful of bubbles and blew on them gently, smiling when they went flying. When she had been young enough still to need help bathing, Andromeda and Bellatrix would help Pinky. As Pinky washed her, Bellatrix and Andromeda would often take handfuls of bubbles and blow them at her. She had shrieked with laughter, only encouraging her sisters more. Draco had enjoyed the game as a child too.

 

Her smile faded. Right now Bellatrix would be at a new location, and she had only Dumbledore's word that she would be allowed to see Bellatrix. She had not thought to include that assurance in their Vow, her first concern being ensuring the safety of both Bellatrix and Draco. She could only hope that Dumbledore would keep his word. It was still surreal to her that Bellatrix was alive. She had been living in the Forbidden Forest for...how long? Had Dumbledore said? Had it been since she left? Why had she gone to the Forest in the first place, why hadn't she contacted Narcissa, why had she allowed this to happen?

 

Narcissa buried her face in her hands. _Damn you, Bella, you complete and utter idiot._

 

But she couldn't stay angry for long. _Bellatrix is alive_ . The thought rang through her head, all through her body, bringing a torrent of emotions: anger, sadness, regret for all the things that Bellatrix had missed - but above all elation. While Bellatrix had missed many things and had miscalculated horribly in whatever her plan had been forcing her into this awful position, she had a chance not to miss anything else. Narcissa had a chance to get her sister back, the last true remaining member of her family.

  
She laughed through her tears. _Bellatrix is alive._

Narcissa wished she could tell someone, anyone, but she was alone - _no_ , she thought suddenly, realization striking, _I’m not._ There was someone she could tell.

 

“Pinky,” she said, excitement thrumming through her.

 

The house elf popped into the bathroom. “Mistress is calling?”

 

“Yes, Pinky, listen,” Narcissa said breathlessly, leaning forward against the rim of the tub, “I have to tell you something, you can _not_ repeat it to _anyone_ without my explicit permission, do you understand?”

 

“Yes, yes, of course, Mistress Pinky would never - ”

 

“Not even Lucius or Draco.” Though Draco was not a Death Eater, Narcissa refused to put the burden of keeping this secret on him. Could not take the risk, either, that the Dark Lord would discover Draco’s deception.

 

Pinky shook her head, her big ears flapping. She looked distressed as she squeaked, “Of course not, Pinky is a good house elf, Pinky would never - ”

 

Narcissa felt a twinge of guilt. “Of course not, Pinky. I would never accuse you of disobedience. But my _life_ depends on this information being kept secret.”

 

Pinky’s already bulbous eyes widened further. “Pinky will guard Mistresses secrets with my life!”

 

Narcissa swallowed. The words were on the tip of her tongue, unnatural and surreal. “ _Bellatrix is alive_ ,” she whispered.

 

Pinky squeaked and slapped her hands over her mouth. She lowered them, trembling, a moment later. “Mistress Bella is alive?”

 

“Yes,” Narcissa said. “I don’t know how but - ” Something tugged at the back of her mind, a sense of unease and suspicion. Pinky seemed to relax a little which confused Narcissa. She pushed the thought out of her mind.

 

“Where is Mistress Bella now?” Pinky asked.

 

“I don’t know,” Narcissa said truthfully. “Albus Dumbledore has taken her somewhere.”

 

And Narcissa told Pinky all that had happened that day. Pinky listened and made sympathetic noises in the right places and patted Narcissa’s hand in others. As Narcissa spoke, Pinky climbed up onto the side of the tub, grabbed a wash cloth and some soap and began to bathe her as she had done as a child and again when Narcissa was heavily pregnant with Draco.

 

Narcissa started crying again. She was exhausted, her eyes scratchy, her head pounding. Pinky snapped her fingers and a glass of water appeared in her hand. Without a word, she placed it in Narcissa’s hands and encouraged her to drink.

 

Narcissa felt a little better after she did.

 

Still something bothered her. “Why didn’t Bellatrix contact me? What happened to keep her away?”

 

“I’m sure Miss Bella had her reasons,” Pinky said delicately. Something about the way she spoke raised Narcissa’s suspicion. It didn’t feel as though Pinky were lying to her, but it didn’t feel quite truthful either. _That doesn’t make any sense,_ Narcissa scolded herself, _house elves can’t lie to their masters, the only person who could have commanded Pinky to lie to me would be Bellatrix and she would never -_

 

Narcissa’s temple throbbed. She rubbed it, closing her eyes. It must be exhaustion making her imagine things, she decided. Leaning back, she closed her eyes and allowed Pinky to wash her hair, obediently turning her head at Pinky’s direction. The feeling of thin fingers scratching at her scalp was soothing, as was the ability to talk about what had happened that day.

 

Overcome with emotion, Narcissa whispered, “Thank you, Pinky.”

 

Pinky froze. “Mistress need not be thanking Pinky. Pinky is a good house elf.”

 

“I know.” Narcissa reached her hand behind her and took hold of Pinky’s thin delicate hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze. A lump lodged itself in her throat. “You’ve...you’ve always been...” Tears stung at Narcissa’s eyes again. “I couldn’t ask for a better...”

 

Then she was crying again.

 

“There, there, Miss Cissy,” Pinky soothed, stroking her hair. The childhood name only made Narcissa sob harder. “It’ll be alright. Miss Bella is okay.”

 

Pinky finished scrubbing Narcissa’s back and then took Narcissa’s hand gently between her own. “Pinky thinks Miss Cissy needs some sleep.”

 

Narcissa allowed Pinky to gently tug her to her feet and out of the bathtub. Pinky handed Narcissa her favorite fluffy towel, and as Narcissa dried herself off and headed into the bedroom, she emptied the tub.

 

Thankfully, Lucius had left (it had to be over an hour later), and she pulled on some pajamas and crawled into bed. Pinky appeared silently beside the bed and pulled the covers over Narcissa.

 

“Master Lucius is calling Pinky,” she said.

 

“Lucius can do whatever it is on his own,” Narcissa grumbled, snuggling further into the covers as Pinky moved to close the balcony curtains. “Stay here with me.”

 

“Of course, Miss Cissy.”

 

Narcissa wasn't sure how long she dozed, watched over by Pinky who would stroke her hair when she jerked awake, suddenly fearful that the day had been a dream. Eventually Pinky put a warming charm on Narcissa's sheets, keeping her cozy and calm enough to succumb to her exhaustion.

 

Pinky woke her a little after midnight with a meal that Narcissa ate at her insistence. When two in the morning rolled around, Narcissa got up from bed, pulled her sleeping gown tight around her and went out to the balcony. The night was warm with a gentle breeze. Scanning the sky for any sign of an owl, she felt anxiety building in the pit of her stomach. Minutes dragged on. Something swooped low over the garden, and Narcissa leaned forward eagerly. When the owl perched on the balcony railing, she snatched the letter from its beak and ripped it open.

  
  
Relief filled her. Dumbledore would meet with her again in a week outside Hogsmeade. Presumably to take her to the location Bellatrix was being kept. She would need to come up with some plan so that Lucius would not be suspicious of her absence. Perhaps she simply desired a day out...


	10. Family

Andromeda stared at the place where Grimmauld Place had been, holding onto Bellatrix with one hand fisted into her fur. Dumbledore leaned close and whispered, "The headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve Grimmauld Place."

  
  
Andromeda knew about Findulus Charms but she had never seen one in action. Seeing a home she had been to many times as a child simply gone as if it had never been was disorienting - as was seeing it pop back into existence. A black door with chipped and scratched paint and a silver serpent door knocker appeared first, followed by dirty and worn walls and grimy windows. Just looking at it, Andromeda could tell that no one had lived in the house for years. She remembered reading about Aunt Walburga's passing in the obituaries of _The Daily Prophet_. Ted had jumped and shouted in shock when the newspaper burst into flames, scorching the table. Andromeda had not cared. Seeing Aunt Walburga's picture sent hot pulsing rage seering through her veins. As bad as their parents had been, Aunt Walburga had always been worse, her pureblood mania sending her into frothing rages at a moment’s notice.

  
  
Dumbledore crouched down and whispered into Bellatrix's ear. She jumped, and Andromeda tightened her hold on Bellatrix's fur. No doubt she was even more startled and confused than Andromeda was. For a moment, she wondered if Bellatrix recognized the house as one they had visited often as children, but she suspected that Bellatrix would not.

  
  
Andromeda smiled slightly. It had to be a first that she was more confident than Bellatrix. Her smile faded. "It's alright, Bella," she whispered. "Don't be frightened."

  
  
Bellatrix looked up at her and whined, ears back and tail lowered. The sights and smells and sounds of London must have been overwhelming for her. Andromeda was thankful the square was largely deserted, and that few cars and people traveled down this road.

  
  
Sirius, disguised as a dog, nuzzled Bellatrix's cheek. He play bowed, tail wagging. Bellatrix perked up slightly. She seemed to draw confidence from him though she pressed against the side of Andromeda's legs, leaning against her so heavily that Andromeda nearly stumbled.

  
  
"We should move quickly," Dumbledore said. "Bellatrix is not exactly inconspicuous."

  
  
Andromeda frowned at the house. "No. No one could ever accuse her of that."

  
  
It took some work to get Bellatrix to cross the road. She tried to dive into some bushes, perhaps to hide while she adjusted, but Sirius blocked her path and shouldered her across the road. Up close the door appeared in even worse shape than it had from a distance. The last time she had stood on these steps, the stairs had not been quite so worn - still old and worn with age, but better cared for than now - and the door had been a shiny black with a beautiful paint job. The serpent knocker had gleamed in the light.

  
  
The whole neighborhood seemed to have gone downhill, she thought. Grimmauld Place had always been the handsomest home in the neighborhood by far, but now bags of trash lay dropped carelessly on steps. Bellatrix sniffed at a trashbag on the sidewalk next to the steps of number eleven. Andromeda held her still by the fist full of fur that remained in her grip.

  
  
Dumbledore tapped his wand against the battered wood of the door. Andromeda heard the long series of locks and tumblers disengage, and the door creaked open revealing a dark hallway illuminated only by the dim sunlight pouring through the open door. Andromeda saw a pair of moth-eaten velvet curtains sway gently in the breeze that blew inside. Sirius entered first, though his footsteps were heavy. Andromeda felt a weight pressing down against her chest as she crossed the threshold with Bellatrix glued to her side. Dumbledore came last and closed the door behind him. The old gas lamps flickered to life, though the feeble light was barely enough to see by.

  
  
Bellatrix moved away from Andromeda. She looked down to see Bellatrix sniffing at a darkened corner of the room. She nearly disappeared in shadows the same shade as her fur. She looked up at Andromeda who felt a sickening sensation in the pit of her stomach. Bellatrix's eyes and teeth gleamed in the dark, catching the dim light, looking nearly disembodied. Dangerous and wild. Then she moved further into the light of the lamps and the effect was gone, her lolling tongue and curious eyes replacing the near supernatural image of glowing eyes and fangs.

 

Dumbledore held a finger to his lips as they entered the narrow hallway. The pair of velvet curtains that Andromeda didn’t recognize were drawn over something on the wall, and Andromeda swore she heard gentle breathing coming from behind it. A portrait, most likely. But of who? A horrible thought struck her: Aunt Walburga. The curtains to keep her calm and quiet, assuming her portrait was as prone to ranting and raving at the slightest provocation as the real woman had been.

  
  
Sirius transformed and whispered "my mother", confirming her suspicions. Bellatrix sniffed at the curtains. Andromeda gently pulled her away. She whined in protest. Sirius winced and shushed her softly. Bellatrix went completely still. The curtains did not move.

 

Sirius let out a sigh of relief and waved them up the stairs. Once they were safely on the second floor landing, Sirius said, "I'm guessing you remember the bedrooms are up here and the next floor. My mother's room is being used, but you can pick any one of the other rooms. You'll need to clean it up first."

 

"I'm sure it won't be a problem." She eyed the door handles, trying to remember if any of them were not shaped like snake heads, but she couldn't. She wasn't ashamed to be a Slytherin, but here in Grimmauld Place Slytherin had been synonymous with superiority and pureblood ideology.

 

Bellatrix sniffed at the threadbare carpet and sneezed from all the dust, sending it flying into the air. Andromeda smiled.

 

Then she hesitated. "I need to tell Ted what's happened. I should...I should get my things, and - can Ted come live here as well?"

 

Dumbledore regarded her thoughtfully. “I would like to keep as much attention away from this location as possible. The more people who come in and out on a daily basis, the more suspicious. Perhaps, at some point, Ted can join you here, but for now I am afraid I must say no.”

 

Not an unexpected answer, but still a disappointing one.

 

Hiding her thoughts, she looked down at Bellatrix. "What room do you want?"

 

Bellatrix tilted her head. Her whole body was tense. Ears flicking back and forth, sniffing the air. The house smelled sickeningly sweet and rotten, dank and molding. Andromeda wondered what it smelled like to Bellatrix, whose sense of smell was far more powerful than her own.

 

"Maybe we should give Bellatrix some time to explore," Dumbledore suggested. "She will have a few days to settle before I call a meeting with the Order. For now only a select few know she is still alive."

 

Andromeda forced herself to remain outwardly unmoved. "Narcissa was right about the Order not being happy to find out Bellatrix is alive. How can you be sure she will be safe here?"

 

"Because I trust the members of the Order," Dumbledore said. "They will not be invited to Headquarters if I don't. As such, I also trust that they will be able to put aside personal feelings to do what needs to be done." That last bit was spoken more to Sirius, she suspected, as Dumbledore pinned him with bright blue eyes.

 

Sirius crossed his arms. "If Snape does the same, there won't be a problem."

 

"Bellatrix is rather different than a school boy grudge," Andromeda reminded them.

 

"My life rests on trusting that those who know of Bellatrix's continued existence won't use her vulnerability to take revenge," Dumbledore said. "Therefore, you may have every confidence that I am doing everything within my power to ensure her safety."

 

"I still can't believe you agreed to an Unbreakable Vow," Sirius said. "And to protect Draco Malfoy? He's just like Lucius, I've seen him."

 

"Draco's decisions and the consequences for them are not within my ability to control," Dumbledore said. "I can, however, give him choices."

 

Andromeda was not certain that Dumbledore's confidence was warranted. She wished she had more time to consider her wording.

 

"If you'll excuse me, I have other business to attend to," Dumbledore said. Then he was gone, and it was just Andromeda and Sirius in a too empty house with the weight of the day baring down on her.

 

Tears slid down Andromeda's face. She covered her mouth with her hands, shoulders shaking. Bellatrix paused her exploration of the hallway and twisted to look at her with concern.

 

"It's alright, Bella, I'm alright," Andromeda said through her tears. "You don't need to - go back to exploring, it's fine."

 

Sirius placed a hand on Andromeda's back, and she cried harder. Spinning to face him, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. He was far too thin and boney, his shoulders and collar bones poking her uncomfortably as she held him close. Azkaban had taken a terrible toll on him.

 

"And you! You're innocent! I couldn't believe it when I heard what they were saying - you a Death Eater all this time, but the rest of our family... I worried maybe... I wondered if... But you were found in the middle of all those people laughing and you never even defended yourself - "

 

"I never had a trial," Sirius said. He patted her awkwardly on the back. "And I knew I could never prove my innocence anyway - I wasn't... Part of me didn't want to. I knew it was my fault what happened to Lily and James. It was my idea to make Peter their Secret Keeper, I thought no one would ever suspect it was him and it would keep them all safer but..."

 

Andromeda tightened her grip on him. "You did your best. I may not have known Lily and James well, but if they were half the people they seemed to be then I'm sure they wouldn't want you to blame yourself. I'm sorry I didn't believe in you. I should never have doubted you."

 

Sirius didn't say anything more for a moment. "I won't say it didn't hurt. But I never thought Peter would betray us until he did. They were dark times. I don't blame you. Not one bit."

 

Andromeda pulled back, blinking away her tears. "You're back. And so is Bellatrix! I can't believe..."

 

Sirius shifted uneasily. "I don't want to... I know you're happy to have Bellatrix back, I know I would give anything for Regulus to - " He cleared his throat. "But don't get your hopes up. If she gets her mind back, she'll still be Bellatrix. A Death Eater. Dumbledore thinks he can change her somehow, but I'm not so sure."

 

Andromeda looked down at Bellatrix. "I have to try. She's my sister."

 

Sirius nodded. "I can watch her for a while if you want to go talk to Ted. Tell him I said hi, by the way."

 

Andromeda smiled, her vision blurry from tears. "Thank you, Sirius." She knelt down, held Bellatrix's face in her hands, squishing her cheeks, and kissed the top of her head. "I'll be right back this time. I promise."

 

 

Ted listened speechless when Andromeda told him everything that had happened that day. When she told him of her decision to remain at the Order of the Phoenix headquarters, he nodded and helped her pack a bag.

 

"'Dromeda?" He held her bag tight in his hand when she went to take it. His normal light-heartedness was gone. "Please be careful. I know she's your sister...but she's still Bellatrix."

 

Andromeda swallowed. Her fingers twitched. "I know. But I have to try, Ted. She's - "

 

"Your sister, I know," he said, smiling slightly. "I wouldn't dream of trying to stop you. Just promise you'll be careful. Even if she doesn't remember anything, at best it sounds like you're dealing with a wild animal. She'll be unpredictable."

 

"I promise I'll be careful. I'll come see you as soon as everything settles down - I'll write everyday."

 

"I'll hold you to that." Ted kissed her, long and lingering, one hand cupping the side of her neck.

 

It was two hours later that Andromeda Apparated back to the overgrown and shaggy park with her suitcase in hand. She opened the door with a flick of her wand and stepped inside.

 

"Sirius?" she whispered, eyeing the closed curtains. Heavy footsteps overhead drew her attention.

 

Sirius sat in the hallway on the third floor, leaning sideways against a wall. He absently scratched at the peeling wallpaper. Bellatrix stood on her back paws, her front paws laying on a rickety table that creaked threateningly under her weight, and sniffed at a candelabra, one of many in the house, shaped like a serpent as was everything in the Merlin forsaken house.

 

Andromeda was not ashamed of being Slytherin. Quite the opposite. She was proud of her House, of its qualities. However, she could not honestly say that she had ever met anyone she liked who shoved their House affiliation in everyone's face. It was the same for all the Houses. Those of the most fanatical Slytherin pride, unfortunately, tended to be pureblood supremacists in addition to being insufferably obnoxious.

 

"Bellatrix, be careful, you're going to break that table," Andromeda said, smiling. Bellatrix growled softly and shot her a glare. Andromeda's brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"

 

Sirius looked up at her with a bored expression. "She was very cross with you for leaving. She set off Mother's portrait. I thought she'd unearth Kreacher with all her commotion, but he's still off hiding in some hole."

 

Andromeda made a face. "Kreacher is still here?"

 

Sirius grinned humorlessly. "But of course. I couldn't be that lucky."

 

Bellatrix whined and dropped down from the table. It swayed but remained standing. Bellatrix's whole body was tense with anxious energy, and after a moment, it was like something inside her broke and she rushed at Andromeda, whining and jumping up and licking at her face.

 

Andromeda laughed, and then, struck by the absurd reality of the situation, wrapped her arms around Bellatrix's body. Bellatrix scrambled to get her paws hooked over Andromeda's shoulders to steady her and rested her head on Andromeda's shoulder. Andromeda clung to her, not ready to let go.

 

Trying to ground herself, she spoke to Sirius. "She wasn't this upset when Narcissa left."

 

Sirius wore a thoughtful look. "Maybe because her last memory of Narcissa wasn't her leaving and never coming back," he suggested carefully.

 

Andromeda glared at him. "I had to leave," she snapped. Bellatrix shifted and licked at her cheek. "You know I had to. I had just found out I was pregnant with Dora, and my parents would have made me terminate the pregnancy, and they would have kept me from Ted, and I couldn't - "

 

Bellatrix whined and licked at her face. Andromeda shut her eyes and pursed her lips against Bellatrix's wet tongue, trying to turn her face away. "Bella, no, stop - "

 

Sirius laughed. "Not a sight I ever thought I'd see." Then he turned grim as Andromeda pushed Bellatrix off of her and back down onto four paws. "I know you had to leave. You had to get away even more than I did. But Bellatrix..." He shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know what she thinks. I don't know what's going on in her head. I can't tell how much she remembers. Maybe she doesn't even know why she got angry you left. Maybe it has nothing to do with memory at all, and she was upset because she's some place new and strange. I can't tell you. I wish I could. I've been with her for nearly two years, and I still haven't figured it out." He sighed, letting his head fall back against the wall.

 

Andromeda glanced from him to Bellatrix who now sniffed at her trunk. "It's alright, Sirius. We're all flying blind here. We'll figure it out."

 

Sirius didn't say anything for a moment. Then he stood, brushing off his robes. "I should let you get settled. Unfortunately, you'll need to pick a room and decontaminate it first. I didn't have time to do more than my room and my mothers - for Buckbeak, that is."

 

"Buckbeak?"

 

"Hippogriff. A fellow fugitive, actually. We escaped execution together last summer."

 

"You'll have to tell me the story later."

 

Sirius headed toward his mother's old room while Andromeda inspected each guest room, searching for one that was hopefully in better shape than the others. On the third floor, she passed by Regulus's room. It was only door that appeared have been somewhat taken care of, and she stroked the bronze nameplate fondly. Sirius might be bitter that Regulus joined the Death Eaters, but Andromeda could only feel sadness and regret. Regulus had been so young when Voldemort had begun to recruit, and she could not deny that at that time, he had a certain charm, an ability to excite. Her parents had been enthralled by his words, Bellatrix had been honored and humbled to be taken under his wing and taught the Dark Arts, and Regulus - well, Regulus had been young. He had looked up to his parents, to Sirius, to his cousins. Sirius had never quite hidden his disdain for Regulus, who had followed the family tradition of being sorted into Slytherin. So eager to distance himself from his family, Sirius had not reached out to Regulus as much as he could have - did not provide Regulus the same opportunities to free himself and expand that Sirius himself had been provided.

 

Andromeda would never tell Sirius she thought he had not done enough for Regulus. Likely he already knew. But not for the first time, she regretted that they had not been closer in age. Perhaps if they had gone to Hogwarts together, she could have guided him, could have provided him with better support. Maybe he would have had a better chance. Maybe he would have still been alive.

 

But she had been forced to run to save her baby, and Sirius had left. Regulus, sweet Regulus, left alone. Regulus who had undoubtedly been taken under Bellatrix's wing in Sirius's absence, if she knew Bellatrix well enough. She would have been determined to prevent another loss. Perhaps would have felt it reflected badly on her as the eldest, as if she had not set a proper example.

 

As Bellatrix fell to Voldemort, so too did Regulus. So too did Narcissa.

 

She wondered, not for the first time, if it was not hypocritical to feel such great regret and sorrow for Regulus but only anger and bitter betrayal from Bellatrix. But Bellatrix had always been the strongest of them all. If Bellatrix had not chosen to leave, it was because she did not want to, not because she did not have any other options. Bellatrix knew how to stand on her own two feet. Bellatrix would not have let anything stop her. She could have come after Andromeda, she could have left, and if Bellatrix had left, Narcissa would have too. If Bellatrix left, Regulus would likely have followed. Or maybe he wouldn't have, but Narcissa would have been saved from the Death Eaters.

 

Glancing down at Bellatrix, she thought, _But that's not fair to pin the fate of the family on Bellatrix alone, and you know that._ And she did. Feeling a flood of guilt, she could not meet Bellatrix's bright, curious eyes.

 

Something big shuffling in the room drew her attention, but before she could investigate, the door opened an old house elf in a dirty loincloth slunk out of the room, glaring at her as he closed the door behind him.

 

"Kreacher," Andromeda said. Bellatrix sniffed at him. Kreacher scowled at her and pushed her muzzle away irritably. _Sirius didn't tell him,_ she realized.

 

Kreacher grumbled and muttered loudly, "The blood traitor speaks to Kreacher, the one who upset Mistress so, she deserved to be removed from the tapestry, not even her own family wanted anything to with her. Oh, how Miss Bella laughed when she burned the traitor's name off the tapestry - "

 

Andromeda's throat constricted. The years had not been kind to Kreacher, that much was certain. Not that she had expected a warm welcome in the first place. Still, it made her uneasy that he knew just the right things to say to hurt her.

 

_Bellatrix_ had burned her name from the tapestry? Andromeda had always assumed it had been Aunt Walburga, as the tapestry was kept here, somewhere in Grimmauld Place. Had Bellatrix asked to do it? Was she forced to? Had she really _laughed_ when she had blasted Andromeda's name off the family tree?

 

"Bella?" she whispered.

 

Bellatrix met her gaze and whined slightly. Licked at Andromeda's fingers. _Don't be sad,_ the gesture seemed to say. She wouldn't be getting any answers from Bellatrix. Not for some time, it seemed, if ever.

 

"Bella?" Kreacher repeated. He peered at Bellatrix. "Miss Bella? Oh, poor Miss Bella, what have these blood traitors done to you?"

 

"Nothing," Andromeda snapped, resisting the urge to slap his tiny hand away from Bellatrix when he reached out to touch the top of her head.

 

Kreacher acted as though he did not hear her. "What a shame the house will be filled with such traitors and mudbloods, and Miss Bellatrix brought so low to be at their mercy! What would Mistress say, oh what shame..."

 

At that, Andromeda seized his arm and yanked him away from Bellatrix. Bellatrix yelped in surprise. Kreacher went silent, glaring at her. Andromeda pushed him, nearly sending him sprawling to the ground.

 

"Stay away from Bellatrix," she growled.

 

"I am not your servant," Kreacher said, "I do not take orders from you. If Mistress Bellatrix wishes - "

 

"Bellatrix," she snarled, "is not in her right mind, and I won't have you taking advantage of that to - "

 

"Take advantage?" Kreacher shouted, outraged. "Kreacher is a loyal servant! Kreacher wishes only to serve the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black! Kreacher would never take advantage of his masters - could never do such a thing!"

 

Bile burned in the back of Andromeda's throat. Shame flooded her. Bellatrix whined softly and nuzzled her hand.

 

She physically struck Kreacher. Someone who could not fight back. What was wrong with her? Less than half an hour in this damn house and already she was becoming someone she did not like.

 

"Just go, Kreacher," Andromeda said, not quite able to look at him. "Stay away from Bellatrix." She knew Kreacher could - probably would - ignore the order. She had been burned off the tapestry, which meant he would no longer have to take orders from her. Sirius's orders were obeyed only because Sirius owned the house because he was the last Black left.

 

Kreacher grumbled but shuffled down the hallway, keeping his thoughts quiet enough that she could not hear - for which she was grateful.


	11. Caged

Andromeda continued her exploration of the rooms, eventually settling on a bedroom near the stairs that was not too badly in need of cleaning. At least not compared to the other rooms, she amended as she set about clearing the cobwebs from the corners of the full sized four poster bed. The walls were bare as well, which while perhaps depressing considering the peeling and chipped wallpaper, was better in her opinion than a portrait that would hurl slurs and abuse at her. She did not look forward to the time when Aunt Walburga's portrait was inevitably disturbed, as it surely would be with people traipsing in and out of the house.

 

But that was a concern for another day, she decided. Fat spiders scurried out of the forest green curtains, which had been pinned open at the sides of the bed, when she gave them an experimental shake. The amount of dust that flew into the air was not appealing either.

 

Aside from the bedroom, the only other pieces of furniture in the room were a small writing desk and an old wooden wardrobe with chipped black paint. She was sure it had been a handsome piece at one time, like most of the house had been. Flicking her wand, the curtains flew open, giving the room a bit more light. Not much, as the windows were filthy and in desperate need of having the grime cleared off, but it was better than what was provided by the old gas lamps on either side of the door.

 

Bellatrix rushed over to the window and put her front paws up on the windowsill, her nose pressed up against the glass. She whined slightly.

 

"It's okay, Bella," Andromeda said, pointing her wand at the bed curtains without taking her eyes off of Bellatrix. "Maybe I can take you..." She rubbed at her eyes, unable to believe what she was about to say. "Maybe I can take you for a walk when things settle down." But even as she said it, she knew it was unlikely. Bellatrix would draw too much attention, even if she could manage to pass her off as exotic breed of dog.

 

Bellatrix continued to stare out the window as Andromeda cleaned.

 

Andromeda made fairly short work of the room. It was far from welcoming, but it would do for right then. The spiders had been chased out of the bed curtains, the cobwebs cleaned from them, and the dust removed from the sheets.  She cleaned the glass on the gas lamps which added a bit more light to the room. The candle on the writing desk and the candelabra on the nightstand where dusted off and lit, giving the room of a warm glow of light. The windows she suspected might prove trickier due to the layers of dust and dirt and other things that had accumulated both on the inside and outside of it. But she felt she could sleep safely that night without being woken to a nasty surprise - probably, anyway, she thought with a grimace.

 

Bellatrix growled low. Andromeda skirted around the bed and stopped behind Bellatrix, peering out the window. It did not take long to spot what upset her. A taxi idled outside the house next door. A man and a woman fought in an upper room as the woman shoved clothes into a suitcase. Gesturing wildly, shouting loud enough that Andromeda could hear their voices though she could not make out what they were saying. The man ripped the curtains of the bedroom closed, and Andromeda felt a sick swooping sensation in her gut. But a minute later the woman walked out the front door, tossed her bag into the trunk of the taxi, got into the back and slammed the door behind her. The taxi pulled away from the curb. Music began playing from the house, a loud stereo booming.

 

Andromeda swallowed. "Come away from the window, Bella," she said, gently tugging at Bellatrix. Bellatrix refused to budge. "Get away from the window!" She shoved Bellatrix back down onto all fours. Bellatrix made a noise of surprise. Andromeda yanked the curtains closed. The room became significantly darker. Tears pricked her eyes.

 

She hated this house. She hated this neighborhood. She hated her parents and her aunt and uncle and everyone and everything -

 

Bellatrix nudged her side and whined.

 

Andromeda's fingers still clutched the dust laden curtains. She gasped for breath, the smell of rotten wood so strong she could almost taste it on her tongue. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry."

 

How often had their parents fought, their screams filling Black Manor until Mother had stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her? How often had Andromeda and Narcissa cowered in Bellatrix's room, the three of them cuddled together, one on each side of Bellatrix, as she tried to distract them from the sounds? How many times had Narcissa tearfully whispered, "When is Mother coming back?" because none of them had known if this was the time she left for good? She could not count the number of times that Bellatrix had coaxed the two of them down to the dinning room for supper despite Father having retreated to his study. Pinky would serve them food, and when Narcissa was too young to feed herself, Pinky and Bellatrix would take turns helping her. Bellatrix would have done it all herself if not for Pinky's insistence that she do it so that Bellatrix could eat. Bellatrix, normally unyielding, compromised when Andromeda pointed out that if Bellatrix did not eat then Pinky could get in trouble.

 

Andromeda sat on the edge of the bed and buried her face in her hands. She had relatively few happy memories of her childhood. Fewer still that did not revolve around her sisters. Even those were tainted, bittersweet with the knowledge that those memories did not mean anything to Narcissa and Bellatrix. How else could they have tossed her aside so easily?

 

And yet...

 

Bellatrix whined and shoved her head between Andromeda's elbows, which rested on her knees, in order to place her head in Andromeda's lap. At her most vulnerable, Bellatrix seemed to have some memory of her. But what this meant, Andromeda could not say. Did it mean anything? That Bellatrix took for granted that Andromeda would love and protect her meant nothing as to whether Bellatrix actually loved her in return.

 

Andromeda stroked the top of Bella's head with a sad smile. "I shouldn't get my hopes up. I know better than that. Or rather...I _should_ know better than that." Bellatrix peered up at her. Andromeda kissed the top of her head. "I should know better. But my hopes were already up as soon as I saw you in that cave. Merlin, I missed you. As pathetic as it is, I missed you so much."

 

Bellatrix licked Andromeda's face. Andromeda could not help but start to giggle. If anyone had told her this would happen, she would have thought them completely mad. As it was, she could not feel certain she was not going mad after all. The whole situation was so surreal.

 

"Am I losing my mind, Bella? What do you think? You feel real, but I'm sure that doesn't mean anything..." She sighed. "I feel like I'm losing my mind..."

 

Her stomach growled. Shaking herself, she pulled herself from her depressing and confused thoughts and plastered a reassuring smile on her face. "Come on. Let's go see what Kreacher has kept the house stocked with. Hopefully there's something you can eat."

 

 

The food stores in the house were pitiful. About what she had expected given that Kreacher had lived alone for ten years with only himself to care for, but it was slightly better than she had expected. Either Dumbledore or perhaps Kreacher, on Sirius's orders, had gotten fresh fruits and vegetables as well as some meats. Andromeda gave Bellatrix a raw steak after she was unable to find any pots and pans that would not have to be thoroughly cleaned and disinfected before use. She did not have the energy nor the inclination to do anything like that before eating that night. She did only what she had to so that she had a bowl and a fork for her salad. Reluctantly she tossed Bellatrix the raw steak with a grimace, figuring she had undoubtedly eaten raw meat for the past fifteen years while in the Forbidden Forest. If it had not killed her yet, it would not kill her that night.

 

She hoped. Narcissa would have her head if it harmed Bellatrix in any way.

 

Once they finished eating, Andromeda felt the stress and the exhaustion of the day bearing down on her. She tossed her dishes in the sink, deciding to clean them in the morning - unless Kreacher did it first, which she highly doubted. Bellatrix plodded after her, her head dropping.

  
"It's been a long day for you, too, hasn't it?" she murmured as she closed the bedroom door behind Bellatrix. Bellatrix whined. 

  
Andromeda hurriedly got ready for bed and slipped under the covers. The fabric was cool against her skin, which did not help the overall mood of the house. She stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, thinking about big and cold the bed was - the whole house really - and how much she already missed Ted, how alone she felt, when Bellatrix jumped up onto the bed. She crawled up from the foot of the bed and stretched out beside her. 

  
Andromeda swallowed hard and rolled over, draping an arm across Bellatrix and burying her face in the fur of Bellatrix's neck. Bellatrix, who was warm and solid and alive and who seemed, on some level, to recognize her and instinctively trust her. It had been so long since she had seen either of her sisters, and while Narcissa still held fast in her beliefs, she felt that maybe, just maybe, Bellatrix had missed her. Maybe Bellatrix could be saved. Maybe she could have at least one sister back. 

  
Not to mention that she had Sirius back as well, something she had never thought would happen. It was all so overwhelming. She hugged Bellatrix tightly. Let the warmth of Bella's body and the steady rise and fall of her sides lull her to sleep. 

  
She wasn't sure how long it was before she was awoken by a shuffling in the room and Bellatrix shifting beside her. Bellatrix raised her head, ears going flat against her head and her lips pulling back from her teeth. Her eyes glowed in the dim light of the moon. Feeling a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach, she rolled over to see what Bellatrix was looking at - and screamed. Giant round eyes glowed beside her bed. 

  
The thing startled, jumping into the bedside table. It cursed. 

  
"Kreacher," Andromeda shouted, furious. "Get out!" 

  
Kreacher muttered under his breath, but in the silence of the house it carried as if he had spoken clearly. "Kreacher was only checking in on Mistress Bellatrix." 

  
"Likely story." 

  
Kreacher glared at her. She could only see a faint outline of his ears and his eyes still gleamed in the dark. "Poor Kreacher was only bringing Mistress Bellatrix a bowl of water, no one ensured that she would have anything to drink. Kreacher was only making sure Mistress was taken care of unlike the blood traitor."  


Bellatrix snarled at that and lunged at Kreacher. He jumped back. Bellatrix stopped, her snarls quieting. She had been faking that time, but it seemed Kreacher got the message, and he hurried from the room. Bellatrix sniffed and slid off the bed. Andromeda heard her hit something metallic beside the bed and then the sound of lapping. Kreacher really had brought a bowl of water, it seemed, although why he had waited until the dead of night still eluded her.  


She locked the door, checked her things and the room, but the silver bowl, now half-empty, was the only thing that appeared changed.

 

 

The next few days did not go any better. The demeanor of the house remained oppressive, between the dim lighting and run down appearance. Kreacher lurked around corners muttering insults under his breath. Bellatrix's subdued curiosity that first night did not last. Kreacher’s intrusion fresh in her mind, Andromeda made the mistake of closing the bedroom door behind her when she shuffled down to the hallway to rouse Sirius the next morning.

 

Sirius bolted out of bed when they heard a crash, and together they sprinted back to Andromeda's room and threw the door open.

 

“I was only gone five minutes,” Andromeda said when she found her voice again.

 

The curtains had been ripped down from the window, and the ones on the bed hung in ribbons. The blankets had been pulled off and shredded. A great hole had been torn in the side of the mattress, and the stuffing ripped out and strewn across the room. Bellatrix stood on the bed, a pillow case dangling from her teeth. Andromeda scanned the room, and found the pillow flung on top of the wardrobe which had been pitched sideways into the wall.

 

Bellatrix jumped down from the bed and raced over to Andromeda, shoving her head into Andy's stomach.

 

“What in the name of Merlin?” Andromeda whispered.

 

Sirius groaned. “Don't tell me she has separation anxiety.”

 

Andromeda blinked. Separation anxiety? Bellatrix? But then again...

 

“Didn't you say she would leave her pack to spend time with you?” she asked.

 

“On her own terms, yes,” Sirius said. He shook his head. “I can't believe this. Shit. She's used to hunting and wide open spaces. This place is a cage, and not even a good one. I _told_ Dumbledore - ”

 

As Sirius began to pace, Andromeda ran her hands along Bellatrix's sides soothingly. “We’ll just have to keep her occupied, won't we?” A thrill of dread shot through her. A restless Bellatrix was dangerous, always had been for one reason or another.

 

Sirius stared at her grimly. “I’ll go make some tea. You clean this up."

 

Andromeda bristled. She breathed in and out deeply through her nose. Only a day in this wretched house and already they fought.

 

It seemed Bellatrix did better when allowed to explore the house on her own terms as long as she was not locked in a room alone - or out of one, as Andromeda and Sirius discovered that afternoon while they aggressively attacked the kitchen.

 

Andromeda flicked her wand, sweeping away spiderwebs and cleaning pots and pans. “We could go somewhere, get out of the house a little. You could be my dog.”

 

Sirius barked a laugh. “Can't. Wormtail will have told Voldemort all about me being an Animagus. Dumbledore wants me to stay put like a good little boy. Thinks it's too dangerous for me to leave.”

 

Andromeda frowned. She cleaned another pot with a few waves of her wand. “We could redecorate. Take the elf heads off the walls, remove Aunt Walburga's portrait. Some new wallpaper, brighter lamps. Maybe we can make the best of this place.”

 

Sirius scoffed. “Do what you like.” His voice dropped to a mutter as he examined a hole in the bottom of a cauldron. “I’d rather burn the place down, personally.”

 

Andromeda bristled. She did not want to be in this house any more than he did, but the situation was what it was and the least he could do was to help her make it bearable. "Sirius, we need to - "

 

A crash upstairs made them both freeze.

 

"Not again," Andromeda groaned.

 

Sirius flung open the kitchen door. "She's going to wake the bloody portrait - "

 

A horrible wailing started above them, and Sirius growled. Andromeda chased him up the stairs. She stopped dead when she saw the portrait. The curtains had flung apart, revealing a life sized painting of Aunt Walburga who looked madder than Andromeda had ever seen her. Her eyes rolled, and when she saw Andromeda she clawed at the air as though she could physically attack her.

 

" _You_!" Aunt Walburga roared. "How dare you set foot in my house, you filthy whore! Spreading your legs for that mudblood, shaming your family, tainting our blood - "

 

Sirius grabbed the curtains and began yanking them closed. Something brushed against Andromeda's side. Startled, she looked down to see Bellatrix stop beside her, watching the portrait cautiously. Feathers stuck to her fur; some throw pillow had met its unfortunate end.

 

"Animals! You bring animals in my home!" Aunt Walburga shrieked.

 

Bellatrix's posture changed. Her ears flattened to the sides of her head, her tail tucked under her, her legs bent as though to make herself as small as possible. She averted her gaze from the portrait.

 

"Bellatrix?" Andromeda asked, brow furrowing in concern.

 

Aunt Walburga stopped howling abruptly. "Bellatrix? My dearest Bellatrix? What have they done to you, my dear?"

 

"Nothing she didn't do to herself," Sirius muttered, yanking the curtains half-closed. They ripped themselves back open, nearly tossing him to the floor.

 

"My poor Bellatrix," Aunt Walburga crooned dangerously, "surely you are still in there somewhere. Your father's pride and joy. The heir this family deserved. Do not forget your duty to this family. Rid this house of filth!"

 

Bellatrix glanced up at Andromeda as Aunt Walburga spoke, still submissive. At the last command, something flashed in Bellatrix's eyes. Something dangerous and deadly and cold. Then it was gone.

 

Andromeda forced herself to ignore the horrible dread balling in the pit of her stomach. Grabbing one side of the curtains, she and Sirius managed to pull them closed. The house went silent.

 

Bellatrix slunk away, tail still between her legs, back to a drawing room where she lay down with a mangled throw pillow between her front paws and gnawed anxiously on a corner. A coffee table was flipped over onto its side, the curtains torn down, and the couch destroyed and fallen backwards, as though Bellatrix had flung herself at it and tipped it over. Sighing, Andromeda sat beside her. After a few minutes of running a hand soothingly down her back, Bellatrix began to relax under Andromeda's touch.

 

"What happened?" Andromeda murmured, remembering the look that flashed through Bellatrix's eyes. It had been gone so quickly... Had she simply imagined it?

 

Sirius entered the room. "Huh. Personally, I think the room looks better this way." He gestured to the windows, light pouring unobstructed through the film of dirt on the windows. "Much brighter."

 

Andromeda ran a hand over her face and heaved a deep sigh.

 

 

Despite knowing it was inevitable, the day of the Order meeting came far too quickly for Andromeda's liking. Less than a week after their arrival, people trickled into Grimmauld Place. From the banister, Andromeda watched Sirius greet them and direct them to the kitchen - the only room they had been able to make fit for company in such short time - where Albus Dumbledore waited. Bellatrix watched them intently, her ears forward.  Most people Andromeda did not know, but she recognized Arthur Weasley. The woman who entered with him she assumed must be his wife. Alastor Moody she recognized instantly due to the heavy limp and thudding of his fake leg against the floor. It was a sound she had become familiar with as Nymphadora insisted on bringing him around the house whenever she could convince him to come to dinner.

 

Bellatrix's ears flattened against her head, and she bared her teeth, backing away from the banister when she saw Moody. He stopped halfway down the hall and glared up.

 

Andromeda met his gaze coolly. "Good morning, Alastor."

 

"Mrs Tonks," Moody said begrudgingly. They had never gotten along well, tolerating each other only for Nymphadora's sake. His magical eye focused on something slightly lower and to the left. Andromeda glanced at Bellatrix, confirming her suspicions. Bellatrix had herself pressed against the wall, but Alastor's magical eye was pointed directly at her, watching her through the floor.

 

His expression darkened. Andromeda realized she did not know the full extent of what Moody's eye could do. Did it reveal Animagus for who they really were?

 

"This had better be good, Dumbledore," Moody growled. He limped toward the kitchen door, threw it open and hobbled down the steps.

 

A man with long orange hair in a ponytail entered. Andromeda didn't recognize him, but he looked enough like Arthur Weasley that she thought he must be their son. With Moody gone, Bellatrix crept back to the banister to watch until Sirius waved them downstairs, signalling that everyone had arrived.

 

Andromeda waited with him by the door to the kitchen stairs. Bellatrix eyed the door warily.

 

"Dumbledore said he wanted to break the news first," Sirius began, "said he'd call us down after he told them - "

 

Shouting erupted from the kitchen. Andromeda grimaced. "I suspect Mad Eye broke news first. Rather indelicately at that, I would imagine." At Sirius's questioning look, she explained, "His magical eye. I believe he recognized Bellatrix when he came in."

 

“Not even Moody’s eye can reveal an Animagus for who they are. But I’m sure he had his suspicions anyway.” Sirius ran a hand over his face. "Right. Might as well go down then." Opening the door, he muttered, "This'll be fun."

 

As soon as he stepped inside the kitchen, the room went silent. Andromeda hesitated in the doorway, blocking the occupants from seeing Bellatrix who tried to shove her head around Andromeda to peer inside curiously. Without taking her eyes off of Sirius's back, Andromeda pushed at Bellatrix's head, preferring to keep herself between Bellatrix and the Order.

 

"Albus, you can't be serious," Mrs Weasley said aghast. "A Death Eater? Here? In Order Headquarters?"

 

"And you plan to let a Death Eater's wife just waltz in and out of here whenever she wants," Moody growled.

 

"Narcissa will not reveal what she knows to Voldemort," Dumbledore said.

 

"How can you be sure - ?" started Mrs Weasley, but Dumbledore cut her off, saying simply, "That is a matter between her and I. But I genuinely believe it will be in Bellatrix's best interests to have both of her sisters here - "

 

"And why do we care about a Death Eater's best interests?" Moody said, his magical eye pinned on Andromeda. Andromeda had the unsettling feeling that he was looking right through her. "What is your plan? You think Bellatrix Lestrange will just turn over a new leaf?"

 

"Everyone is capable of change, Alastor," Dumbledore said mildly though his gaze was pointed. "They have only to wish it. I suspect Bellatrix may be of value to the Order should she wish to change."

 

Moody shook his head, limping toward Andromeda. His magical eye rolled to look at Dumbledore. "And when she doesn't? When she wants to run right back to her master?"

 

"If she does not wish to change, we will, of course, keep her from rejoining Voldemort. She does not have a wand."

 

"Won't matter if she slits our throats or poisons us. Million and one ways to kill a man without a wand, Dumbledore, never forget that."

 

"Be that as it may," Dumbledore continued politely but firmly, "I did not make this decision lightly, Alastor. I am well aware of the crimes Bellatrix Lestrange has committed."

 

"This is a bad idea," Moody muttered.

 

"Well, I trust Dumbledore," said a horribly familiar voice, and Andromeda felt cold when her eyes landed on a shock of pink hair. She closed her eyes, throat tightening. Of course. Of course Nymphadora, her brave, wonderful, fearless daughter, had gotten involved in the Order of the Phoenix.

 

"Hey, Mum," Dora stood up, smiling. "Dumbledore said you'd be here. Sorry it's been a while, been busy at work and - "

 

Bellatrix shoved her way past Andromeda, growing impatient, and Andromeda gasped, trying to grasp a fistful of fur to stop her. The room went silent. Bellatrix stopped behind Sirius, peering around him warily. Dora stood up as though trying to get a better look.

 

"That's Aunt Bellatrix then, huh - lot furrier than I imagined, but - " Dora stopped suddenly, her joking demeanor gone, a curiously blank expression taking its place. Andromeda furrowed her brow, but before she could ask what was wrong, Dora said softly, "It can't be..."

 

Dora moved around the table and crouched down a few feet from Sirius. Bellatrix tracked her movement.

 

"Do you remember me?" Dora asked softly, but the room was so still and silent every word was clearly audible. "It's been a long time, but I remember you."

 

Bellatrix crept out from behind Sirius, who looked as confused as Andromeda felt. Neither spoke, perhaps afraid to break the moment, as Bellatrix sat before Dora, head cocked to the side.

 

Dora reached out a hand. Bellatrix sniffed it, and relaxed slightly, allowing Dora to pet her head.

 

"You saved my life. I never got the chance to thank you, you ran away so quickly...but I might have drowned if not for you."

 

Andromeda gasped, remembering with a jolt the story Dora had been so fond of telling after her first year in Hogwarts. She had been convinced that Dora had mistaken a stray dog for being a wolf.

 

"That was...are you _sure_ that was...I mean, are you sure it wasn't a dog or...or another wolf?" Andromeda asked breathlessly. It seemed too good to be true that Dora's savior would be Bellatrix.

 

Dora smiled, and for the first time, something like recognition - like _human_ recognition - entered Bellatrix's eyes, and her tongue lolled out of her mouth as she turned her head to give Andromeda a very canine grin.

 

Dora's smile widened. "You do remember, don't you?" She started scratching along both sides of Bellatrix's neck, and Bellatrix growled in pleasure. Dora looked at Andromeda. "It was Aunt Bella for sure. I could never forget."

 

"So Bellatrix Lestrange got that close to the students," Moody mumbled. Dora shot him a glare.

 

Dumbledore appeared unfazed. "She did indeed. However, this helps make a few things clearer."

 

At the questioning looks from those around the table, he continued, "There were a few strange events years ago that, while unusual, did not lead me to suspect anything greater was at play. However, the knowledge that the strange black wolf is, in fact, an Animagus solves a few interesting mysteries.

 

"Shortly after Bellatrix escaped capture, a group of First Years was attacked near the Forest. None were harmed, only scared. Wolves attacking the students is unheard of, much less without provocation. At the time, I suspected perhaps the wolf was sick. But as none of the children sustained any injuries, aside from some slight bruising, that theory was not completely satisfactory. I suspect now that the wolf was Bellatrix, and the attack was an attempt to procure a wand. Hagrid thwarted her plans, and she did not try again.

 

"I believe she must have had enough of her mind left to know who you were when she saved you, Tonks, as that was the last time I heard mention of the wolf until Sirius revealed her. I simply assumed that you must have mistaken a dog for a wolf, being so young and having almost drowned. I suspect now that Bellatrix, having nearly been caught, fled deeper into the forest and lost her mind soon after. Only Bellatrix will be able to tell us for certain, however, whether I am correct in my assumptions."

 

Dumbledore paused, eyes sweeping over the group. "It is too dangerous to allow Bellatrix to remain in the Forbidden Forest with Voldemort returned. Whatever your personal feelings about this plan, I imagine you all agree that it is better for her to be taken away from Hogwarts rather than risk her drawing Voldemort and the Death Eaters to the Forest looking for her."

 

Moody grumbled under his breath, but he did not argue the point. The rest of the Order glanced at each other, but they too remained silent. Dora continued to scratch Bellatrix all over to her delight, leaning hard into Dora's hands, pleased growls rising in volume.

 

"Very good," Dumbledore said.

 

"Albus, will she be safe around the children?" Mrs Weasley asked fearfully.

 

Andromeda's head snapped up. Children?

 

"I would keep an eye on her," Dumbledore said mildly, "but I believe you should have no problems. The more human contact she has, the better I believe."

 

Andromeda's eyes slid back to Dora and Bellatrix. Bellatrix leaned heavily against Dora as she scratched her sides and back, forcing Dora to lean backward, close to toppling over. Fear trickled down her spine. Uncertainty filled her. Bellatrix got along with Dora now, but would she still when - if - she regained her memories? Or would Bellatrix return to the Death Eaters? A lump formed in Andromeda's throat and fear threatened to choke her. Would Dora face Bellatrix in battle?

 

Suddenly, the plan seemed foolhardy and reckless, bound to fail. She glanced at Sirius, her face pale and eyes wide. He watched Dora and Bellatrix with a grim expression. He turned to her as though he had felt her watching him. Tried to offer a reassuring smile, but she could see the uncertainty in his eyes.

 

Moody studied her quietly. Andromeda caught him staring and quickly composed herself, but it was too late. To his credit, he didn't say anything. Only nodded in understanding. Or what she thought was understanding, but a part of Andromeda bristled at the idea that he would dare to assume he understood anything about her family or how she felt.

 

Sirius moved to stand beside her. "It'll be fine, Andy," he whispered, but Andromeda did not think he believed his own reassurances, "it'll work out. Your daughter will be fine."

 

Taking a deep, slow breath, Andromeda wished she could believe that.


	12. Tension

With only a few more days before the Weasleys were set to bring their family to stay at Grimmauld Place, Sirius and Andromeda threw themselves into cleaning a few of the guest bedrooms. To their relief, those bedrooms did not have any dark artifacts stored in them. There were only a large amount of dust and spiders to contend with. Unpleasant, but preferable to what they knew waited in the other rooms. While Andromeda felt trepidation at the thought of children in the house, she could not deny that she and Sirius needed the help - nor could she help but hope that it would improve Sirius's mood to have more people around.

 

Bellatrix stuck close to them while they cleaned. Now that the Order had been gathered, members dropped by more frequently, a development that Bellatrix clearly did not enjoy. She no longer explored the house on her own, choosing instead to stick with either her or Sirius or - to both Andromeda and Sirius's displeasure - Kreacher. He did not heed either of their warnings to stay away from Bellatrix.

 

"If Miss Bella seeks out poor old Kreacher, who is he to send her away? Kreacher is a good house elf, Kreacher must obey orders," he insisted when confronted.

 

Sirius had been unable to find a work around. Though he owned the house and was, in a sense, the head of the Black family, Kreacher was a Black house elf and was bound to take orders from everyone in the family. If Kreacher interpreted Bellatrix's actions as orders, there was not much that Sirius could do - much less Andromeda, who Kreacher appeared to feel fell into a gray area. While Andromeda was on the tapestry - the burn mark not having broken the magic that bound Kreacher - he did not give her orders much weight, and Andromeda found herself required to be extremely specific least he insist on interpreting her orders wrongly.

 

Once they made their way through the guest bedrooms, they moved to the library. 

 

"Dumbledore said Hermione was coming too," Sirius told her. "She's incredibly bright, loves books. Bound to be curious about the library. I'd like to get the cursed books out of here before she arrives."

 

Before they could begin to figure out which books were cursed and which were not, they had to dust the books and the shelves. Cloths wrapped around their faces, they tackled the dusting, taking care not to touch the books with their bare hands. It was not always easy and more than once, Andromeda felt a spike of fear when her finger tips accidentally brushed against the binding, but to her relief none of the books she touched reacted in any way. Sirius was not so lucky, hissing and cursing one morning as the skin on his fingertips burned. There was no lasting damage, but they moved more slowly after that.

 

"Perhaps Narcissa could take a look," Sirius muttered one afternoon, peering closely at a suspiciously stained book spine, surprising Andromeda. She had not expected Sirius to want anything to do with Narcissa if he could help it.

 

Bellatrix curled up in a ball on the carpet in front of the fireplace while they worked in the library, her tail draped over her nose. It didn't look like a comfortable position in Andromeda's opinion, but Bellatrix insisted on remaining with them while they worked, and the dust kicked up in the room had sent her into a sneezing fit. Despite that, she had refused to allow Andromeda to tie a cloth around her muzzle.

 

"I never thought you would voluntarily spend time with Narcissa," Andromeda remarked. 

 

Sirius frowned. "I'd also rather not have my fingers burned off. Self preservation is a powerful motivator."

 

A smile flitted across Andromeda's face. Bellatrix moved at the mention of Narcissa, and Andromeda looked over her shoulder to see Bellatrix had raised her head, watching them intently. She had not seen Narcissa since the day Dumbledore told them Bellatrix was alive, and Andromeda could not help but feel Narcissa's absence contributed to Bellatrix's restless mood. Secretly, though, Andromeda wondered if it might not be best for Narcissa to stay away, even as she felt a twinge of guilt. Narcissa still clung to her beliefs of pureblood supremacy, holding them above even her own family -  _ or maybe just above you _ , whispered a nasty voice in the back of Andromeda's head - and she couldn't help but worry that Narcissa would ruin any chance there was of Bellatrix defecting from the Death Eaters should she regain her mind.

 

Deciding not to think on that, she smirked at Sirius. "I didn't know you knew what self preservation meant."

  
  
Sirius laughed. "As if you're one to talk."

  
  
The mood in the house lifted a bit when the Weasley children arrived, although the initial discussion went about as well as Andromeda and Sirius had expected. The children protested the moment they were told they would not be allowed to join the Order nor would they be involved in any Order business - a sensible move, but the children did not see it that way, particularly the twins who proclaimed themselves to be of age. 

  
  
_ Bloody Gryffindors, _ Andromeda thought but did not say. 

  
  
"There is one thing you might be able to help the Order with," Sirius said carefully, ignoring the sharp looks Andromeda and Molly shot him.

  
  
"Yes, the cleaning," Molly said loudly, "we'll begin tomorrow morning this house is in desperate need of cleaning - "

  
  
"Yes, the cleaning," Sirius said and then before anyone could stop him, "and one other thing - "

  
  
Molly Weasley went red with anger, and Andromeda's lips thinned. She knew they would have to tell the children about Bellatrix, but she had never envisioned encouraging the children to help with her. 

  
  
The twins turned to their father shouting, "We can't join the Order but Death Eaters are allowed - "

  
  
"We have to tell Hermione she can't come," Ron said, looking pale. "She's muggleborn, she can't be in a house with Death Eaters - "

  
  
Ginny glared at her brother scathingly. "Oh yes, go on, tell Hermione we're living in a house with a Death Eater and see if that stops her. Like Hermione would stay away while we're in danger."

  
  
Andromeda stepped up, holding up her hands. "You're not in danger," she said loudly, catching their attention, and when they fell silent, she lowered her voice and added, "Because you are not going to be going anywhere near her, do you understand?"

  
  
The twins rolled their eyes, and Ginny, she could tell, intended to disregard orders completely.

  
Andromeda shot Sirius a nasty look. Trying to talk sense into the children, she said, "Bellatrix is very dangerous. She may not know who she is, but we can't be sure how she'll react to...anything. It's for the best if you let the adults handle her."

 

"We're living in a house with her for the summer," Ginny said, "how're we supposed to avoid her?"

  
  
"I'm sure she'll avoid you first," Andromeda said. "Don't worry about that."

  
  
Thankfully, Bellatrix stayed out of the way for the rest of the day. Andromeda caught her lurking on the stairs, watching as Andromeda and Sirius showed the children to their rooms. It was only for a moment, however, as Ron had disappeared into the bedroom only long enough to toss his trunk on the bed, and the second he re-entered the hallway, Bellatrix disappeared. Andromeda was sure she was the only one to have noticed Bellatrix's presence at all.

  
  
The Weasleys relaxed as the day passed without a sign of Bellatrix, and Sirius's mood improved greatly at having more people in the house. He got along great with the twins, whom Andromeda resolved to keep her eye on, sure they would be as much trouble as Sirius had been when he was younger - and still was probably if given half the chance, if she was honest with herself. Everyone tensed when they heard footsteps creak upstairs, but Sirius waved off the change in atmosphere, saying, "Kreacher, probably. Family's house elf - "

  
  
Andromeda had to agree. If Bellatrix were lurking upstairs with Kreacher, they would never know it until she chose to reveal herself. The group relaxed again until dinnertime when Sirius made the mistake of asking politely after the older Weasley children who were not there. 

 

When Charlie and Bill were had been discussed, Sirius asked, "And what about Percy?" Arthur broke the glass in his hand, and Molly burst into tears.

  
  
Sirius looked to Andromeda helplessly, but she hurriedly finished cutting up a piece of steak and some chicken, dumped it into a wide bowl and went upstairs to give Bellatrix her dinner. She found Bellatrix pacing restlessly in Buckbeak's room. When Andromeda entered, Bellatrix jumped on her, licking at her face and nearly knocking her over.

  
  
"It's alright, Bella," Andromeda soothed. "It's alright. It's a bit overwhelming, all these people, isn't it?" 

 

It still felt surreal to think this creature was actually her sister. Bellatrix, who had never let her fear show, who challenged anyone to make her feel unwelcome anywhere, who had never hid from anything in her life.

  
  
Andromeda stayed with Bellatrix for the rest of the night, waiting until the Weasleys had gone to bed to return to her own room with Bellatrix trailing after her.

  
  


  
  
Andromeda hoped the next day would go in the same way, allowing them to sit down calmly with Hermione and explain the situation; but that morning, as the Weasleys, Sirius and Andromeda waited in the drawing room for Hermione to arrive, Dora entered with Narcissa at her side, and Andromeda knew the day was going to be a massive headache.

  
  
The Weasleys glared at Narcissa. Andromeda was thankful they had not decided to wait to tell the Weasley children about her sisters until Hermione arrived. 

  
  
Narcissa swept a disdainful gaze over the Weasleys before turning it on Andromeda and Sirius.

 

"Where is Bellatrix?"

  
  
"Upstairs," Sirius ground out, glaring at her. "But now's not a good time - "

  
  
"I'm sorry, should I make an appointment next time I wish to see my sister?" Narcissa shot back coldly.

  
  
"That's not what he meant, Narcissa, and you know that," Andromeda said, irritated.

 

"Well, Dumbledore appears to think this is a good time," Narcissa said, "or else he wouldn't have arranged for me to be here, would he?"

  
  
Sirius grumbled something about Dumbledore under his breath, but Andromeda didn't catch it.

 

The front door opened and closed again, and a minute later, Hermione entered the room with Remus Lupin. She almost dropped the cat carrier in her arms in shock when she saw Narcissa, causing an indignant yowl from inside it.

 

“Sirius?” Hermione asked, eyes finding him first. “What’s - ?”

 

But Sirius’s eyes were on the cat carrier. “I forgot about Crookshanks,” he said miserably.

 

Hermione’s brow furrowed, looking slightly affronted. “What’s wrong with Crookshanks?”

 

Sirius swiftly took the cat carrier from her, set it on the ground and opened the cage. “Nothing, just Trixie - Freki - is going to be very happy to see him. She should be here any second now.” He looked at the ceiling. “Three, two, one...”

 

A door burst open upstairs. To Andromeda’s horror, familiar pawsteps of  a large animal raced through the hallway and down the stairs. Bellatrix skidded to a stop in the doorway, tense and alert, eyes fixed on the large group in the room.

 

“ _ Freki _ ?” Hermione said in shock. “What’s Freki doing here?”

 

“Freki?” Andromeda repeated.

 

“How do you know her?” Narcissa demanded. She glanced sharply at Sirius. “Well?”

 

Andromeda turned to Sirius as well, curious to hear how he would explain this, but before Sirius could speak, one of the Weasley twins said, “That’s her then? Bellatrix Lestrange? Blimey.”

 

“Who?” Hermione asked, her brow furrowing further.

 

Sirius smiled weakly. “Meet my cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange.”

 

“Your...your cousin?” Hermione turned to the wolf standing in the doorway. “I thought...wait, she’s an Animagus? Then why - ”

 

“Sirius,” Mrs Weasley demanded, “why does Hermione know Bellatrix?”

 

“And why is she referring to her by that name?” Narcissa narrowed her eyes at Hermione suspiciously.

 

“We...we met her once, when Harry, Ron and I went to see Sirius. She was there. He didn’t say she was his cousin. I don’t understand - if she’s an Animagus, why is she like that?”

 

“She’s, ah, managed to get herself into a bit of a bind,” Sirius said delicately. “There’s a few reasons Animagus transformations are dangerous, and well, she’s been isolated the past fourteen years. She’s gone a bit round the bend - ”

 

Narcissa opened her mouth, looking furious, and Andromeda said hurriedly, “She doesn’t remember who she is. She thinks she’s a wolf. Mostly.”

 

Andromeda studied Hermione’s reaction. She was taking it better than the Weasley brood had, though she appeared torn between fascination and a headache - not that Andromeda could blame her. Still there was a gleam of excitement in her when Sirius told her of Dumbledore’s plan and said they were in unknown territory. Sirius had said Hermione was bright and academically gifted, and since she doubted Hermione held any ill will toward Bellatrix, Andromeda tried not to be uneasy or insulted.

 

Narcissa, however, made no such effort. “My sister is not an academic experiment, Miss Granger.” Her voice was cold.

 

Hermione looked horrified. “No, of course not, I didn’t mean, I would never - ”

 

She broke off when a large, ugly, orange cat stepped out of carrier with a meow. As it exited, Bellatrix moved forward, head lowered and outstretched, toward the cat which rubbed against Hermione’s legs.

 

Ron stepped forward, snapping, “Get away from Hermione.” 

 

The moment he moved, Bellatrix bolted back to the doorway, staring at Ron who faltered when Bellatrix let out a low, growling bark, eyes fixed on him intensely.

 

“Ron, she was just excited to see Crookshanks,” Hermione said exasperatedly. “What’s so wrong with that?”

 

“She was a Death Eater, Hermione,” Ron said, and Hermione’s eyes widened. 

 

Crookshanks shot Ron a haughty look and trotted over to Bellatrix. He rubbed languidly against her. Bellatrix’s whole demeanor shifted, her muscles relaxing, and she bounced around the cat, absolutely thrilled to bits with its presence. She lapped at his face. Crookshanks bore it with an annoyed expression.

 

Andromeda rubbed at her eyes tiredly. “We should probably talk about this more once Hermione is all settled, and maybe later you can explain why you keep referring to her as Freki.”

 

“When we met her, Sirius said she didn’t have a name,” Hermione said, and she shot Sirius an accusing look.

 

He shrugged. Grinning at Andromeda, he said, “I thought it would be funny. A Death Eater being given a name by a muggleborn? Bellatrix would have had a fit if she were in her right mind. Of course, I thought you’d give a funnier name, something like Fluffy or Princess.”

 

“I’m not Hagrid,” Hermione said pointedly, and Andromeda felt that perhaps Hermione hadn’t appreciated being unknowingly roped into an attempt to humiliate someone. This, she suspected, was entirely lost on Sirius. “And besides, Fluffy and Princess are ridiculous names for a wolf, I thought you wanted a real name, not - ”

 

Crookshanks wandered away from Bella to greet Sirius. With Crookshanks’ presence, Bellatrix’s eyes swept the room again, but something had changed. She looked more relaxed and secure, and finally, she looked at Narcissa with bright eyes and crossed the distance between them with a bounce in her step. She leapt on Narcissa, knocking her to the ground and licking at her face.

 

“Bella, no, stop - !” Narcissa gasped, struggling to free herself from under Bella’s weight, cheeks turning pink as the Weasley children roared with laughter.

 

Narcissa stopped yelling and squealed when Bellatrix licked at the roof of Narcissa’s mouth. She wrenched her head sideways and spat.

 

Sirius smirked. “Oh. Did I forget to mention that wolves greet each other by licking the insides of their mouths?”

 

Narcissa glared at him, struggling to push Bellatrix’s muzzle away from her face, but it seemed she didn’t dare say anything else.

 

Andromeda giggled. She moved to help Narcissa when Hermione surprised her. Looking hesitant, Hermione wrapped her arms around Bella’s neck and attempted to tug her backwards off of Narcissa. For a split second, Bellatrix growled, twisting in Hermione’s arms and  _ oh sweet Merlin this is what I was afraid of what were we thinking she’s a Death Eater in a house with mudbloods and blood traitors and at best she’s a  _ wild animal  _ around  _ children - 

 

Crookshanks zipped away from Sirius. Hermione jumped back from Bellatrix, and Crookshanks inserted himself between them, hissing and spitting, his fur on end. When Bellatrix twisted around to face Hermione, he whacked her several times on the nose.

 

Everyone held their breath. Hermione looked ready to faint. Crookshanks glared defiantly at Bellatrix, seemingly unaware of how easily crushed he would be in Bellatrix’s powerful jaws.

 

Bellatrix sat back heavily on her haunches, a stunned expression on her face. She blinked owlishly. Then she bowed her head and whined softly. She lay on her belly, watching him. Crookshanks regarded her for a long moment before he, too, relaxed and rubbed against her. With the cat’s forgiveness, Bellatrix brightened instantly, panting happily and gazing up at Narcissa with bright eyes and an adorable canine smile.

 

Narcissa started to push herself up in a sitting position, looking rather undignified. Catching the shaken expression Narcissa tried to hide, Andromeda braced herself for whatever cutting remark she was about to make to cover her fear. 

 

“Honestly! You listen to an ugly cat but not your own sister?”

 

“Crookshanks isn’t ugly!” Hermione shot back. 

 

Andromeda gently grabbed Hermione by the shoulders, guiding her back a few steps. With such a close call, she felt uneasy letting Hermione remain so close to Bellatrix. “Bella missed you, Narcissa. Surely you can understand that.”

 

Narcissa stilled. She shot Andromeda a nasty glare. It had been an admittedly low blow, but Narcissa paused in getting to her feet and patted Bellatrix’s head. As soon as she was standing, Bellatrix leapt up and glued herself to Cissy’s side, leaning against her and almost knocking her to the floor again.

 

“Perhaps you should take Bellatrix upstairs, Narcissa,” Andromeda said. “We wouldn’t want her getting over stimulated, and I’m sure Hermione would like to spend some time with her friends. In fact, perhaps you could help us in the library. There are a few books we’d like you to take a look at, actually, we think they might be cursed.”

 

Narcissa raised an eyebrow. “Then don’t touch them.”

 

“Of course not, but we’d like for the children to be able to use it,” Andromeda said.

 

For a moment, Andromeda thought Narcissa would make a scathing comment and refuse. She did, in fact, make such a comment, saying condescendingly, “If the children can’t grasp that they should not touch strange objects in a house full of dark artifacts, perhaps they should learn the hard way.” She looked straight at Ginny Weasley, who glared back at her coldly. After a moment, she sighed and said, “Very well. Show them to me.”

 

For all her bluster, Narcissa hadn’t changed as much as Andromeda sometimes feared. She undoubtedly still believed in blood purity, but she would not intentionally put a child in harm’s way - unlike Lucius, if what she had heard from the Weasley children was true (there had been, perhaps, amazingly  _ more _ yelling when Sirius had told them about Narcissa’s involvement than when they had been told they were sharing a house with one of the most notorious Death Eaters for the summer).

 

“Remus, Dora, would you please show Narcissa to the library?” Andromeda asked.

 

Narcissa rolled her eyes. “I think I remember where the library is.”

 

Andromeda bit back a comment about not allowing the wife of a Death Eater to roam unsupervised about the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. But she knew Narcissa was merely covering, trying to maintain some dignity about being watched in one of her own family’s homes. Besides, if they were to help Bellatrix, they would need to maintain some kind of truce - but Andromeda’s eyes drifted back to Bellatrix who remained at Narcissa’s side, relaxed and calm at the moment, and felt a creeping sense of dread, remembering the flash of teeth and danger only minutes ago.

 

Narcissa swept out of the room with Remus and Dora following after her. Bellatrix paused in the doorway, looking back at Crookshanks who had returned to exploring the room.

 

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Crookshanks will be staying here, Trixie. Go with Narcissa.” Under his breath, he muttered, “If I have to deal with Narcissa being jealous of a cat, I swear...”

 

Bellatrix ignored him, focused on Crookshanks, but he continued sniffing at the furniture and prowling the edges of the room. She grumbled and trotted after Narcissa.

 

There was a moment of silence. Then one of the twins said, “Just to be clear, a  _ Death Eater  _ was just...put in her place by  _ Hermione’s cat _ ?”

 

“Correct. Good old Crookshanks. Trixie’s been in love with him since he came to Hogwarts.”

 

Andromeda felt a headache coming on. Behind Sirius, she noticed Molly’s face reddening rapidly in sheer fury. 

 

“Sirius, you knowingly let my  _ son _ and Hermione - and Harry! - near that - that - ” She struggled, seemingly unable to come up with a word strong enough to express her feelings. “That  _ creature _ knowing what she is? How could you put the children in danger like that! My son!  _ Your _ own  _ godson _ !”

 

“I never planned for them to meet at all,” Sirius replied coldly. “I would never put Harry in danger like that - or Ron or Hermione or anyone else.”

 

“Oh, yes, but it was a nice joke to use Hermione to  _ provoke _ her, wasn’t it - ”

 

Andromeda grabbed Sirius’s shoulder. “We should go to the library. I’m sure Hermione would like to get settled and catch up with her friends. We can continue this...discussion...over dinner.”

 

Molly looked like she wanted to argue, but Andromeda steered Sirius out of the room. When they arrived in the library, Bellatrix was lying in front of the fireplace, relaxed but alert, watching Narcissa and Remus peering suspiciously at one of the shelves. Narcissa took out her wand and poked one of the book spines with the tip. The book shuddered and growled, and Narcissa pursed her lips.

 

“This is a particularly nasty curse,” Narcissa said. “If anyone not of the Black bloodline were to touch this...” She tapped her lips with her finger thoughtfully. “Well, I can’t say for certain what would happen, but it would be particularly...unpleasant.”

 

“We should get rid of that then.” Sirius grabbed a cloth and reached out to take the book, and Narcissa slapped his hand away irritably. “What?”

 

“It’s entirely possible Aunt Walburga connected this curse to the  _ tapestry _ , Sirius.” Narcissa glared at him. “It would be exactly like her. Unless you have reason to believe otherwise?”

 

“I doubt she thought I’d ever come back here. I didn’t,” he added darkly. Then he shot back, “I wasn’t going to touch it anyway.”

 

“Still.” Narcissa plucked it off the shelf. Held in her thin fingers, the book shuddered, purred and went silent. It seemed then like any ordinary book. She took the cloth from Sirius, wrapped the book up in it, and set it on a coffee table.

 

Once she was seemingly satisfied that no one else would touch it by accident, she turned back to Remus. “Let’s see the other books then.”

 

“Can I help?” Dora asked. 

 

“That’s alright, dear,” Andromeda said hastily, suppressing the urge to panic. A hundred half formed disaster scenarios flashed through her mind.

 

“But I want to help,” Dora said, a slight frown on her face. “I’m an Auror, I know what I’m doing - ”

 

“I rather suspect,” Narcissa said, her voice light and polite, “that many of these books will have similar curses, detectable only if you know how. I was taught before I married Lucius so that I would not accidentally bring home any books that would horrifically curse my husband.”

 

“Shame,” Sirius said. “Would have loved to have seen that.”

 

Narcissa shot him a look. Then she continued, “You can help us dispose of any unwanted books, however, once I have gone through them.”

 

That thought seemed to cheer Dora up, and she moved over to sit near Bellatrix. Bellatrix half got to her feet at the movement, but Dora turned her back to Bellatrix in order to watch them work, and Bella laid down again.

 

“Interesting,” Remus said. “She didn’t have a problem being near you at the meeting. I wonder what changed.”

 

“Overwhelmed, probably,” Sirius said carelessly, scanning a dusty stack of books they had yet to go through. “Lots of people. Bet that’s why she lashed out at Hermione, she was nothing like that in the cave.” 

 

Andromeda tried not to think too hard about the strangeness of  _ Sirius,  _ of all people, being the expert on Bellatrix’s behavior or the easy familiarity with which he spoke of her. Tried to ignore, also, the hollow ache it left in her chest. 

 

She glanced at Narcissa who kept her gaze firmly on the books in front of her, though there was a slight frown on her face, a bit of tension in her shoulders. She was not the only one hurt, it seemed.

 

They went through several more books before they heard purring. Crookshanks had slipped in through the slightly ajar door. He climbed onto Bellatrix’s back, kneaded at her for a moment, and then curled up on top of her.

 

Narcissa watched them with a subdued expression. “It’s truly amazing how well she gets along with that cat.”

 

Andromeda understood, even as she felt ridiculous at the twinge of jealousy.  _ Jealous of a cat? _ She rolled her eyes at herself.

 

“I think Crookshanks may be part kneazle,” Sirius said conversationally, but Andromeda caught the considering look he shot her. “He’s very intelligent. He was great help to me going after Wormtail. He knew I wasn’t a dog, and that Peter wasn’t a rat. Same with Bellatrix.” 

 

Remus cleared his throat. “It makes sense that Bellatrix connects well with Crookshanks. He’s a highly intelligent creature. At this point in time, he is closer to her state of mind than any of us - and better able to communicate, I’m sure. But she very clearly remembers her relationships with her family,” he added sympathetically. 

 

Andromeda bristled slightly at the thought of the situation being sugar coated as though she could not handle it.  _ He’s being kind. That’s all. _ She hated the effect this house had on her. 

 

She smiled at Remus sadly. “Not that clearly. She hated me.”

 

“Because you abandoned us,” Narcissa snapped. “But she always - ” She stopped abruptly, looking as though she had already revealed more than she intended.

 

Andromeda glared at Narcissa. She didn’t know or care what she had been about to say. “I love Ted. I didn’t want to marry some pureblood man so I could be nothing but his broodmare. I wanted  _ more _ .”

 

“You think Bellatrix didn’t want more than that?” Narcissa hissed, storming over until she was inches from Andromeda’s face. “Of course she did.”

 

“She could have left!”

 

“ _ She _ would never abandon me! Not like you did!” Narcissa shrieked.

 

“Obviously she  _ did _ ,” Andromeda said coldly, shocking herself. “She left you, and here we are.”

 

Before Andromeda knew what happened, there was a flash and a bang, and she was thrown backward against the wall. She hissed in pain. Drawing her wand, she snarled at Narcissa, who began to slash her wand through the air in front of her, a spell half-shouted - 

 

“ _ Expelliarmus _ !” cried two voices, and both their wands were wrenched from their fingers, flying in high arcs through the air. Remus caught Andromeda’s wand, and Dora caught Narcissa’s. Sirius had grabbed Bellatrix around the neck, struggling to hold her back as she tried to bound forward. She knocked him sideways and dragged him across the ground until she stood between Andromeda and Narcissa, licking her chops and whining and turning anxiously to look back and forth at each of them.

 

“You’re upsetting Aunt Bellatrix,” Dora said casually. “And I’d hate to explain to Dumbledore that you killed each other after an hour together.”

 

“Give me back my wand, Dora,” Andromeda commanded. 

 

Dora raised an eyebrow with a smile. “You think I’m going to hand you your wand so you can murder a Malfoy? I’m an Auror, Mum. You should know better than that. Imagine the inquiry I’d face at work.”

 

Narcissa breathed heavily, glaring daggers at Remus and Andromeda in turn. She held out her hand. “My wand, werewolf.”

 

Andromeda tensed, eyes darting to Lupin. He was a werewolf? No one had mentioned  _ werewolves _ among the Order.

 

Lupin frowned. He glanced at her as if knowing what she was thinking. Dora shot a nasty look at Narcissa, but otherwise did not react. She knew this man was a werewolf?

 

“You could try saying ‘please’, Madam Malfoy,” Lupin said with forced civility.

 

Sirius growled at Narcissa. “This is  _ my _ house. I may have allowed Dumbledore to use it for the Order, but don’t think for one second that I won’t kick you out.” He let go of Bellatrix and rose to his full height. “You’ll be polite to my friends or you won’t be here at all. Understand?”

 

Narcissa grit her teeth. Her gaze flickered to Bellatrix. “Perfectly.”

 

Andromeda wanted to ask if Lupin was safe to be around, but she felt Sirius would not approve of the question. Sirius had always had a strange taste in friends.

 

“How long have you been a werewolf?” she asked Lupin instead, keeping her tone casual, as if she were only mildly interested.

 

Lupin looked at her like he saw right through her. Perhaps she was not as subtle as she thought. _ Or maybe, _ she realized,  _ he’s heard this exact thing before. _

 

“Since I was a child,” Lupin said subdued. “Greyback. My parents upset him, though I didn’t know that for a long time. I pitied him, thinking he was out of control. That it was an accident. I didn’t know then what he was.”

 

Andromeda felt a twinge of guilt at that. Lupin had been a victim. Still, could a werewolf be trusted? Taking a deep, slow breath, she tried to remind herself that Lupin had fought beside the Order in the last war. She had met him once or twice then, and she understood now why, even as a teenager, he looked shabby and tired.

 

“Mum,” Dora said, an edge to her voice, “don’t tell me you believe all that bullocks about werewolves? They’re not bad people.”

 

“Some are,” Andromeda said lamely. 

 

“Yeah, but not because they’re werewolves,” Dora challenged, and Andromeda nodded in deference to the point. Pride swelled in her chest. Dora was such a strong, brave, loyal, open-hearted woman. Everything Andromeda had hoped for and more. Sirius stared hard her, watching for her reaction.

 

A wave of guilt followed after. Shame-faced, Andromeda turned to Narcissa. “I’m sorry. I should never have said that Bella abandoned you. She had to have thought it was for the best - ”

 

Narcissa shook her head. “I’m...I’m sure you’re right. She thought it for the best. I’m just not sure...” She trailed off, but Andromeda read the sentiment on her face:  _ I’m just not sure who she thought it was best for. _

 

The silence stretched between them for a long uncomfortable moment. Lupin and Dora handed their wands back, apparently satisfied they weren’t going to start attacking each other again. Bellatrix turned in circles looking from one to the other and then, seemingly unable to decide who to go to first, lay down midway between them, panting.

 

Lupin broke the silence. “I think that what Bellatrix remembers is very telling of her priorities. Regardless of everything else, she clearly remembers and cares deeply for the both of you.”

 

“Thank you, Lu - Remus,” Andromeda murmured. She did not feel reassured. Regardless she didn’t want to start a fight. Dropping her gaze to Bellatrix, who looked up at her with bright eyes and tongue lolled out, she wondered,  _ But will that be enough? It never was before. _

 

Not wanting to examine that thought too closely at present, she turned back to the bookshelves and resumed looking over its contents. She saw Narcissa follow her lead a moment later out of the corner of her eye, and soon everyone else followed suit.

 

Bellatrix remained lying where she was, and Andromeda felt her eyes follow her as she worked.


	13. Bookworm and the Wolf

Hermione lounged on the couch in the library, enjoying the warmth of the fire in the perpetually chilly manor and the company of a good book. It had been three days since she had come to Grimmauld Place, and she was thankful that Sirius had been thoughtful enough to clean the library (even if it wasn’t perfect, as Hermione often caught movement out of the corner of her eye as rats and other pests scurried about). She loved the Weasleys but sometimes she needed some peace and quiet, and that was one thing Fred and George were not, especially now that they were of age. Particularly not with them trying to keep their newest inventions out of Mrs Weasley's grasp. The way that Mrs Weasley and Sirius bickered and the tense air between her and Mrs Tonks did nothing to help the overall mood of the house.

 

The door creaked open. To her surprise, Crookshanks entered with Freki padding along at his heels - no, not Freki, not a wolf. An Animagus. Bellatrix Lestrange. _Don’t forget that,_ she thought.

 

Crookshanks hopped onto Hermione’s lap, purring. The wolf hesitated, gray eyes looking from Crookshanks to Hermione, to the empty space on the couch beside her, and back to Hermione again. The wolf moved to the carpet in front of the fireplace and lay down, watching her.

 

Hermione cleared her throat. “Um...hello, Mrs Lestrange.”

 

The wolf growled a bit and huffed.

 

“Er...” Hermione had no idea what to do or how to read the wolf. She suddenly remembered that everyone, including Mrs Weasley, referred to her simply as Bellatrix or Bella (though only Mrs Tonks and Mrs Malfoy called her that). Perhaps she didn’t like being called Mrs Lestrange?

 

“Hello, Bellatrix,” she tried instead.

 

The wolf watched her curiously. No growling. Promising.

 

“I’ll, um, just keep reading then,” Hermione said lamely.

 

Bellatrix licked her chops.

 

Hermione found herself unable to concentrate on the book in front of her. Dumbledore had come by the night she arrived to caution them against writing letters too often or letting the owls out at night to hunt. He warned them to be careful what they put down on parchment - even to Harry, which left Hermione feeling uncomfortable but Dumbledore must have had his reasons. He had explained also his hopes that Bellatrix’s mind could be rehabilitated and that she could prove a valuable asset to the Order.

 

She might not ever come back to herself, however, and Hermione wondered if that might not be preferable. But Dumbledore hoped that spending time with the Order and her sisters would remind her how to be human again, and if Dumbledore thought it was worth the risks then Hermione wanted to help.

 

But Dumbledore’s plan was not going well as far as Hermione could see. Bellatrix avoided the other members of the house most of the time, although she had grown more comfortable with the presence of people. When Bellatrix did initiate contact - mostly something as simple as not fleeing a room when someone unexpected popped in - the reactions were not favorable. Despite the wolf’s so far remarkably docile nature for someone whose mind was stuck somewhere between a wild animal and a Death Eater, the Order did not interact much with Bellatrix at all besides to shoo her - and Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Fred and George - out of meeting rooms.

 

Tonks got along well with Bellatrix, and she was one of the few that Bellatrix would allow close enough to touch her. Sometimes Bellatrix would follow her around the house like she followed Sirius, Andromeda and Mrs Malfoy. But Tonks wasn’t around much, mostly popping in for short visits and sometimes staying for dinner. Mad Eye Moody glared and snapped and treated Bellatrix like a ticking time bomb. He wasn’t wrong, exactly, from what Hermione had gathered, but given that the goal was to win her over to the Order, it wasn’t helpful either.

 

Lupin was polite and friendly, and while Bellatrix did not bolt from the room when he entered, she preferred to keep some distance between them, moving to reestablish it if he got to close. Mrs Weasley angrily pretended Bellatrix didn’t exist. Kingsley barely acknowledged her, though he was polite and calm when he did. Mr Weasley seemed fascinated and repulsed by Bellatrix in turns, but Mrs Weasley glared at him fiercely if he did more than briefly acknowledge her existence.

 

It could have been worse, but it wasn’t encouraging either, and Hermione didn’t know how to help. She had nothing to say to a Death Eater, and she wasn’t sure how much Bellatrix understood anyway. Conversation was out. She had no desire to get close to those jaws, either, and the notion of _petting_ a Death Eater’s _fur_ was so absurdly surreal that it took Hermione a moment to ground herself. So that was out too - even assuming Bellatrix let her get close enough.

 

Hermione set her book aside on the end table and stood up. Bellatrix hastily sat up, ready to bolt, but Hermione moved around behind the couch and went to examine the books on the shelves again. Moving between two, she peered around the corner, studying Bellatrix. Bellatrix got to her feet and cautiously approached the couch.

 

Hermione grabbed a stool, and climbed to the top step, pretending to look at a book high up on the shelf - why were all the Black family so _tall_? - and from her new vantage point she could see Crookshanks had curled up where she sat. Bellatrix tried to nose Crookshanks aside. He growled.

 

Bellatrix placed her front paws on the couch and rose up. Hermione’s hand shot to cover her mouth in horror when Bellatrix opened her jaws wide and leaned down, biting Crookshanks around the middle -

 

And then she nearly fainted in relief when Bellatrix merely picked Crookshanks up, despite his wriggling and meowing in protest, and placed him back down gently on the other end of the couch. Crookshanks hissed at her and whacked her nose. Bellatrix snapped her jaws, ears pinning back for a brief moment. Then she turned back to Hermione’s seat and sniffed the cushion and the back of the chair and the arm rest.

 

Hermione had seen Bellatrix do this before when Mr Weasley returned from work. Bellatrix would sniff the floor in the entrance hall where Mr Weasley walked. Hermione could only imagine the multitude of interesting smells that clung to Mr Weasley from the Ministry that only Bellatrix could pick up on.

 

As she climbed down from the stool, Bellatrix’s head shot up. Hermione moved toward her seat, and Bellatrix bolted back to her spot by the fireplace. Bellatrix watched her as she sat down and curled back up with her book. After a minute, Bellatrix relaxed and lay down again.

 

Pretending to read, Hermione watched Bellatrix out of the corner of her eye. Though Bellatrix’s eyes would sometimes glance around the room, seeking out flickering shadows, one ear remained turned toward Hermione.

 

She was listening to Crookshanks pur, to Hermione’s movements, the rustling of the pages as they turned. Listening... Bellatrix was always listening to something...

 

That gave her an idea. Hermione swallowed, cleared her throat and began reading again, this time out loud. Bellatrix raised her head and tilted it slightly as she listened. She stayed like that for several minutes and then lowered her head to rest between her paws, keeping her eyes on Hermione.

 

Hermione felt incredibly awkward. She blushed hard and stumbled over the words. As she continued, she gradually felt more comfortable. Her voice evened out, her body relaxed, and she started to enjoy herself. She hoped Bellatrix liked it too, even if the words didn’t make sense to her, even if Hermione was just rereading an old History of Magic textbook.

 

She read until Mrs Weasley came to fetch her for dinner. Bellatrix leapt to her feet and slipped out of sight between the bookshelves. Hermione twisted to look over her shoulder. Bellatrix peered around the bookcase, one disembodied eye visible in the dark shadows, gleaming in the firelight.

 

“She’s been very good company,” Hermione assured Mrs Weasley, turning back to her. She resisted the urge to pinch herself. “Very well behaved.”

 

Mrs Weasley’s eyebrows raised in disbelief, but she said nothing. The back of Hermione’s neck prickled knowing that a Death Eater was behind her, watching her every move. _But that’s ridiculous,_ she reminded herself, _Bellatrix doesn’t even know who she is and has been nothing but well behaved, I’m being silly._

 

Mrs Weasley remained in the doorway, half-turned as though to leave. Suppressing a sigh, Hermione got up and headed towards the dining room while Mrs Weasley fetched the others. The hallway still needed to be cleaned, the wallpaper shabby and with dust and cobwebs everywhere.

 

Halfway down the hall, library door creaked. She glanced over her shoulder. Bellatrix froze.

 

They watched each other for several long seconds. Then Hermione swallowed and said, “Well, come on then. I’m - I’m sure Mrs Tonks will be happy to see you at dinner...” She trailed off. Feeling awkward, she continued toward the kitchen.

 

The wolf kept a respectful distance, not walking on her heels the way it - _she_ \- did with Andromeda and Mrs Malfoy, but it - _she -_ was definitely following her, and Hermione didn’t know what to do with that. Having a Death Eater at her back was nerve wracking.

 

Bellatrix paused at the top of the stairs down to the kitchens, shifting nervously. Hermione did not wait for her nor try to coax her along. She doubted Bellatrix would stay anyway once everyone had gathered.

 

The kitchen was warm and a bit smokey from the ovens. They had just finished cleaning it that morning, and Hermione found herself appreciating that for the first time she did not worry about eating in the house.

 

Fred and George Apparated into the kitchen, causing Mrs Weasley to shriek and yell at them.

 

“ _Could have used the stairs, don’t have to Apparate every two feet -_ ”

 

The twins went to their seats, and Mrs Weasley's shouting eventually turned to mutterings. Fred and George whispered to each other. Ginny and Ron came next, and as they sat on either side of her, Hermione noticed the door open, and a large black shadow slipped through.

 

Bellatrix eyed the room warily. She crept toward Hermione’s chair and lay down behind it. Andromeda and Mrs Weasley were too busy cooking while being overly polite to each other to notice Bellatrix. Ron leaned in toward the twins, trying to join in their conversation. Ginny noticed and shot Hermione a look. Hermione shrugged, not sure what to make of it.

 

Mr Weasley and Sirius entered. Mr Weasley was saying to an aggravated Sirius, “You know what Dumbledore said. He has to stay there for most of the summer, and we’re only to tell him what he needs to - Oh!”

 

Mr Weasley jumped at the sight of Bellatrix, causing Mrs Weasley to pause halfway through setting a bowl of mashed potatoes on the table.

 

“Arthur?” she asked.

 

“Ha! Look who’s decided to come out of her hole!” Sirius said, grinning. “Are you going to join us for dinner or will you go hide back up in your room?”

 

Bellatrix stretched, yawned widely, and then flopped sideways onto the floor, knocking into the back of Hermione’s chair as she did so. Hermione squeaked in surprise as her chair slid across the floor, squeezing her stomach between the table and the chair.

 

The twins and Ginny laughed. Ron looked concerned. Mrs Weasley’s face was red like she might explode any minute, and Mr Weasley smiled nervously, eyeing his wife.

 

Sirius went to his seat, patting Andromeda’s shoulder as he passed. She stared, standing completely still, watching Bellatrix with wonder as though she were afraid that any movement she made would send Bellatrix scurrying. Sirius’s touch snapped her out of it.

 

“Let me get a bowl of water and some meat for you, Bella,” she said and started grabbing what she needed. “Come away from there, and let Hermione breathe will you?”

 

“I doubt she’ll stay long,” Mrs Weasley said stiffly. “The rest of the Order will be joining us soon.”

 

Andromeda dropped the bowl she held, splashing water everywhere. “Shit. No, let me clean - Damn it, and we were finally making progress - ”

 

“Oh, she might stay. I’ve invited Narcissa for dinner,” Sirius said with forced lightness and a pointed look at Mrs Weasley.

 

Mrs Weasley and Sirius had not gotten along well from the first day when Mrs Weasley backed Dumbledore on not telling Harry anything about what was happening with the Order.

 

“You invited her to dinner, what were you _thinking_ , isn’t it bad enough she can pop in and out whenever she pleases without you going and inviting her - ”

 

“I was thinking,” Sirius said, still with forced politeness, “that this was _my_ house, Molly, and I could invite whoever I pleased over for dinner.”

 

Hermione planted both hands on the edge of the table and shoved backwards, hoping to force Bellatrix to move. Instead, she felt the chair tip back. She scrambled to grab the table and right herself - but she felt a swooping in her stomach and the chair toppled backward over onto Bellatrix, who yelped and scrambled to her feet, tipping the chair further and spilling Hermione onto the floor in a daze.

 

She blinked up the ceiling. A cold wet nose touched hers. Bellatrix stared down at her, ears up, head cocked. _Why are you down there?_ her expression seemed to say.

 

“Get away from her,” Mrs Weasley started to say, but then a slim hand pushed Bellatrix away from Hermione and a cold voice said, “Do not order my sister around. This is _her_ home, not yours.”

 

“Well, technically, it’s mine,” Sirius said dryly. “Good to see you could make it after all. I don’t suppose Lucius gave you too much trouble?”

 

Narcissa Malfoy stared down at Hermione with a curled lip, and Hermione felt her cheeks tinge pink. She got up and righted her chair, blushing harder under Mrs Malfoy’s gaze.

 

“Well,” said Fred, “I never expected Death Eaters to kill people through toppled chairs, but she nearly got you there.”

 

“Crafty folk, those Death Eaters. Very creative. I give the idea a ten out of ten, but sadly I have to deduct points on the execution as she clearly didn’t finish the job,” said George.

 

Hermione smiled, feeling a little less embarrassed. Fred winked at her. Mrs Weasley frowned and pursed her lips, clearly unamused.

 

Someone growled behind Mrs Malfoy, and Mood limped through the door. “This isn’t a bloody joke. Next time it’ll be the stairs, make it look like an accident.”

 

Tonks groaned, slipping past Moody. “Aunt Bella isn’t going to push Hermione down the stairs, Mad Eye. Not yet anyway.”

 

Mrs Malfoy raised an eyebrow. “Bellatrix isn’t going to be pushing anyone down the stairs. Much too common. Uninspired, really.”

 

There was a tense silence for a moment. Hermione paused in rubbing her sore stomach, her eyes wide and darting to Mrs Weasley’s thunderous expression.

 

Sirius, a smile slowly stretching across his face, said, “Was that a joke, Narcissa? I thought Lucius would have smothered any sense of fun out of you with his pretentiousness.”

 

“He’s so full of himself, I bet the Manor is absolutely _tasteless,_ ” Andromeda said, setting a plate of turkey on the table, carelessly bumping Mrs Weasley aside as she did. “He’s like a peacock, really. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has dozens of those things, that’s the sort of thing he would do - ”

 

Andromeda Tonks paused, studying Mrs Malfoy. Hermione glanced at her, but she did not see whatever it was that caused Andromeda to grin and her eyes to light up with mirth. Catching her expression, Sirius leaned forward, looking gleeful.

 

“ _No,_ ” Sirius said, “don’t tell me - ”

 

“Cissy, please tell me he doesn’t actually have - ”

 

“Please tell me he _does_ \- ”

 

Moody stomped forward. “Enough,” he snapped. “This isn’t a game. You sit here joking about Bellatrix Lestrange and how she’ll kill us all - ”

 

“We’re _Blacks_ ,” Sirius drawled, gesturing around the room. “Tasteless jokes is what we _do_. If you have a problem with it, take it up with my mother’s portrait. Now, about Lucius Malfoy’s peacocks - ”

 

“You should take this more seriously, the lot of you,” Moody growled, dropping into a chair and eyeing the food on the table with mistrust.

 

“And you should stop trying to distract us from the real issue at hand!” Sirius looked positively giddy. “Lucius Malfoy owns peacocks!”

 

“At least he doesn’t have severed house elf heads on the walls!”

 

“Touche. Now, _tell me everything_.”

 

As the volume of noise and activity rose in the kitchen, Bellatrix slipped away from Mrs Malfoy’s side and disappeared back up the stairs. Both Andromeda and Mrs Malfoy watched her go with matching expressions of disappointment. Then they both gathered themselves and their expressions were carefully neutral once more, and Hermione found herself wondering if the remaining members of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black still had more in common than they cared to admit.

 

 

Grimmauld Place was dark and filthy and full of new and interesting smells. Exploring had kept her occupied enough for the past week that Bellatrix had not missed the forest or her pack too much. But the house became more stressful as time passed, and she was not allowed outside and there were so many people coming into a territory that was not her own - it was Sirius’s, she thought, but she sensed a struggle between him and Molly, but she didn’t understand, it didn’t follow the rules she knew, none of this did.

 

Kreacher kept apologizing for not keeping the house clean as he picked cobwebs from her fur. Bellatrix didn’t mind, but she wasn’t sure how to communicate that.

 

Andromeda knelt beside her, grimacing as she used a wet cloth to wipe a spot of grim out of Bellatrix’s fur. “What in the name of Merlin did you get _into_ , Bella - ? Crookshanks, no - ”

 

Crookshanks paused mid lick, to stare at Andromeda. He had explored the house with her, and he had rubbed up against the same thing Bellatrix must have done.

 

“Hermione,” Andromeda called as she and Ginny entered the kitchen for breakfast, “Bella and Crookshanks have gotten into something, don’t let him lick it off his fur, I don’t know what it is - ”

 

Hermione grabbed a cloth and Crookshanks and set to work cleaning him up. She shot a worried glance at Kreacher who was apologizing profusely.

 

“Kreacher is terribly sorry, Miss Bella, Kreacher never dared to hope his family would set foot in his house again, but it is no excuse, Kreacher has been negligent, Kreacher has been a bad elf - ” he muttered, getting himself worked up more and more until, to Bellatrix’s alarm, he lunged for a wall and slammed his head against it.

 

“Bad Kreacher - Bad Kreacher - ” he wailed between each slam of his head.

 

Bellatrix lunged for him, barely hearing Hermione’s gasp of horror. She grabbed his leg carefully between her teeth and dragged him back from the wall. Kreacher dropped to the ground and hit his head against the floor. Bellatrix flopped to her stomach next to him, shoving her leg under his head when he raised it up. His head hit her leg when he slammed it down. She growled a little at the pain. Kreacher gasped, realizing too late what was happening. She draped her other front leg over his back, holding him in place.

 

“Bad Kreacher, bad Kreacher, Kreacher is sorry, Miss Bella, Kreacher didn’t mean - ” Kreacher wailed, struggling to free himself from Bellatrix’s grasp, but Bellatrix kept just enough weight on him to keep him pinned. After a moment, he collapsed, sobbing. “Kreacher is a bad elf, bad Kreacher, bad - ”

 

Andromeda knelt beside Bellatrix, and Hermione crouched on the other side of Kreacher.

 

“Kreacher, you aren’t a bad elf - ” Hermione started, but Kreacher turned baleful eyes on her.

 

“The mudblood dares to speak to Kreacher - ”

 

Bellatrix growled lightly. Kreacher fell silent. She waited a moment and then licked at his face, clearing away the tears. That only made Kreacher cry harder, but Bellatrix didn’t mind.

 

“Such kindness, Miss Bella, Kreacher does not deserve - ”

 

Bellatrix nudged his head with hers, cutting him off. She went back to licking his face until he finally settled down. Once she sensed the tension leaving his body, she lifted her leg and allowed him to get to his feet. She shoved her head under his arms, letting him use her to help him pull himself to his feet, and Kreacher nearly bawled again at the gesture.

 

Bellatrix caught Hermione watching her with a curious expression. She tilted her head.

 

“I didn’t expect...” she started and then trailed off, apparently unable to find the words to express what she wanted to say.

 

“My family was better than most pureblood families when it came to how we treated our house elves,” Andromeda said slowly. “Though that is a rather low bar. Kreacher is very old, and no one has lived in this house for nearly ten years. Why should he punish himself?”

 

“I just would have thought - with her being a Death Eater and all - ” Hermione looked away from Bellatrix’s stare, biting her lip.

 

“My sister can be cruel,” Andromeda said with an edge to her voice. “Don’t doubt that. Not allowing her servants to unnecessarily punish themselves does not make her a good person.”

 

Bellatrix’s ears drooped, and she lowered her head, wondering what she had done that Andromeda looked at and spoke about her with such anger.

 

She was soon distracted by the entrance of the Weasley twins Apparating into the room, followed by Sirius, Ron, and Arthur walking down the stairs. They all stopped and stared at Bellatrix, Kreacher, Andromeda and Hermione. Crookshanks took advantage of the distraction to slink away and hide under a cabinet.

 

“What happened here?” Arthur asked.

 

“Bellatrix got into something this morning,” Andromeda said smoothly, getting to her feet. Bellatrix nuzzled her hand. Andromeda scratched absently at the top of her head. “What room are we cleaning today, Molly?”

 

“I thought we could start with the bedrooms,” Molly said, barely sparing them a glance as she continued cooking sausages.

 

Bellatrix crept over toward the stove, enticed by the delicious smell, but Sirius cut her off and directed her out of the room.

 

“Kreacher will bring you your breakfast, Trixie, if you can’t behave yourself around food.”

 

Bellatrix huffed, annoyed. It was worth it, though, when Kreacher turned up with a platter of food which included several sausages.

 

 

Molly Weasley had the children helping her clean, assisted by a discontented Sirius and a grim Andromeda. Being forced to clean his childhood home was not Sirius’s first pick for an activity, but it at least gave him something to do while Dumbledore insisted he remain indoors at headquarters despite his protests. At least he had Andromeda with him, he thought, which made everything a bit more bearable. Bellatrix did too, which was not something Sirius had ever expected himself to be able to say. He hated being stuck in this place, but she was pleasant enough company when she wasn’t going out of her mind being stuck in the house.

 

Having the children all helping clean was even better, in Sirius’s opinion. The more people he had working with him the better, he found. The noise and the company kept him grounded. Narcissa often watched them clean, with Bellatrix laying or sitting next to her. She had tried to coax Bellatrix out of the rooms they were working on with no success: Bellatrix simply found all the people and movement too exciting.

 

But her real goal was the critters they unearthed moving furniture. A puffskeins nest had been quickly and brutally destroyed by an overexcited Crookshanks and Bellatrix to Hermione and Ginny’s horror. Narcissa had tried to keep Bellatrix away from the puffskeins, but she had been unsuccessful, turning a little green at the sight of Bellatrix playfully tossing a puffskein in the air and catching it in her mouth, crushing it in her jaws with a disturbing crunching sound.

 

Staring at a pair of buzzing curtains that Bellatrix had been eyeing while they cleaned the rest of the bedroom, Andromeda sighed and placed her hands on her hips. “God, I wish Pinky were here.”

 

“I could ask Dumbledore if he would allow it,” Narcissa said slowly from her seat on the bed beside Bellatrix, running her hand down Bellatrix’s back. “I do not think he would.”

 

“Maybe,” Andromeda said thoughtfully. “Or maybe he’d like to talk to Pinky about the night Bellatrix went missing.”

 

Sirius paused. He pretended to continue examining the contents of a bedside drawer, listening intently and watching out of the corner of his eye, wondering where Andromeda was going with this.

 

Narcissa frowned. “Why would he want to talk to Pinky?”

 

“You sent Pinky to look for Bellatrix after she leapt out the window, didn’t you?”

 

Narcissa narrowed her eyes.

 

Andromeda scoffed. “Don’t look at me like that, Narcissa. I know you well enough. And it’s what I would have done. If you didn’t send Pinky to help her, I’ll eat Buckbeak.”

 

“Hey, leave Buckbeak out of this,” Sirius quipped.

 

“Pinky never found Bellatrix that night,” Narcissa said stiffly, conceding Andromeda’s point.

 

Andromeda shifted nervously, and Sirius bit his tongue to keep back his own sudden doubts. He had not given it much thought, too preoccupied with more pressing issues, but the details he gathered about the night Bellatrix had escaped all missed several key _hows_ he had assumed only Bellatrix could answer. But if Andromeda were implying what he thought she was...

 

“What...what did Pinky say happened that night exactly?” Andromeda asked carefully.

 

Narcissa narrowed her eyes. “She didn’t find Bellatrix. That’s all.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Because Pinky told me,” Narcissa said, her voice taking on a dangerous edge. Everyone in the room tensed up as they worked.

 

Andromeda ran a hand through her hair. She flexed her fingers, smoothed out her robes. Narcissa narrowed her eyes. It wasn’t like Andromeda to fidget, and Sirius knew what Andromeda wanted to say before she said it.

 

“What if Bella told Pinky to lie to you?”

 

“She wouldn’t,” Narcissa hissed, standing up so suddenly that Bellatrix sat up in alarm. “You think Bellatrix would _purposely_ do that to me? She wouldn’t - ” She trailed off, clenching her jaw furiously.

 

Sirius felt the tension rising. Andromeda stiffened, still staring at the curtains instead of Narcissa, but Sirius could see the lines of tension in her shoulders and spine. Whatever Andromeda wanted to say would only make things worse.

 

Molly eyed them with displeasure and disapproval, and Sirius guessed whatever she was thinking would be as helpful as Andromeda’s thoughts. An explosion was coming. It was only a matter of when.

 

Andromeda’s jaw clenched. “Something doesn’t add up, Narcissa. Bellatrix jumped out a second story window. Seriously injured. Wandless. If Pinky didn’t find her, how did she get away? Where did she get the medical attention she needed? How did she - ”

 

“ _Enough_ ,” Narcissa snapped. She and Andromeda glared at each other.

 

Sirius sighed. Of course Narcissa would not take kindly to the implication that Bellatrix had ordered Pinky to lie to her. What had Andromeda been hoping to gain?

 

He looked at Bellatrix, hoping to diffuse some tension. “If the rest of us have to suffer, so do you, Trixie. Go hunt something.” The twins and Ginny stifled laughter at the nickname. He was glad they still found it amusing. To his dismay, he had realized the nickname had shifted from mocking to affectionate.

 

He would have to come up with another nickname.

 

“You know she hated being called that, Sirius,” Narcissa said, not for the first time. She frowned at him.

 

Sirius smirked. “I know.” He turned back to Bellatrix. “Seriously, there are rats everywhere. Do me a favor and go eat them.”

 

“You are not feeding my sister rats,” Narcissa said coldly.

 

“I’m sure she’s eaten worse,” Sirius said with a dismissive wave of his hand. _She’s definitely eaten worse_ . “Besides, she destroyed that Puffskein nest earlier, what’s so different about rats? Fine, fine. It doesn’t have to be rats. God only knows what else is living in here. Just go hunt _something_ , and make yourself useful - wait, no, Trixie, not the Doxies, _not the Doxies, TRIXIE NO - ”_

 

Everyone ran from the room as the Doxies swarmed from the curtains and slammed the door behind them. An angry muffled buzzing filled the bedroom. Sirius glared at Bellatrix. His nose wrinkled in disgust at the sight of several black and furry arms sticking out of the sides of her mouth.

 

“You’re very pleased with yourself, aren’t you?”

 

Bellatrix wagged her tail.

 

Narcissa glared at Bellatrix and opened her mouth then paled when she noticed what was in Bellatrix’s jaws and shrieked in horror, “Bella, spit that out _right now!_ ”

 

Bellatrix did so - right on Narcissa’s shoes. Narcissa jumped, kicking the dead, drool covered Doxy at the wall. Sirius roared with laughter, tears streaming down his face. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Fred and George whispering to each other, glancing at Bellatrix and then George picked up the Doxy saying, “Right, best get rid of this.”

 

As he and Fred walked away, Sirius saw George pocket the Doxy. Fred glanced over his shoulder at Bellatrix with a gleam in his eyes.

 

Sirius decided he didn’t want to know. Plausible deniability would be important whenever Narcissa discovered whatever it was they were planning on roping Bellatrix into doing.


	14. Hazy Memories

“Hey, Sirius, mate - what’s with the dog?”

 

Bellatrix froze, mid-sniff. The smokey pile of rags on the chair shifted, and Bellatrix shied away from the table, startled.

 

The sounds of pots and pans clanging by the stove paused. Bellatrix’s eyes darted sideways to see Andromeda, pot in hand, watching the sentient pile of rags with a cautious and disdainful expression.

 

“Can’t I have a pet?” Sirius dropped into a chair next to the rags.

 

“Were you not invited to that meeting, Mundungus?” Andromeda asked cooly.

 

The pile of rags shifted again, and Bellatrix realized it was actually a man in a shabby and tattered overcoat. He fished through his pockets, pulled out a grimy black pipe and lit it. The smell of burnt cloth intensified as he blew a puff of greenish smoke.

 

Bellatrix backed away, the smell overpowering.

 

“I had some business that first meeting,” Mundungus said. “Guess I didn’t miss much ‘cept we got a dog.”

 

Sirius said nothing.

 

“Do _not_ smoke that in here,” Andromeda snapped.

 

“What’s wrong with just a puff?”

 

“It smells disgusting.” Andromeda’s lip curled.

 

“Just a few more puffs.”

 

“Now,” Andromeda growled, “or I’ll make you eat that pipe.”

 

Mundungus hastily put out his pipe and waved the smoke away. Still the smell lingered.

 

As he tucked his pipe back into his coat pocket, the kitchen door opened, and Bellatrix caught a whiff of Dora's scent.

 

“Watcher, Mum. Sirius. Dung.” Dora acknowledged Sirius and Mundungus with a small nod and strolled over to Andromeda who set down the knife she had just picked up beside the carrots on the cutting board and grabbed a towel to wipe her hands.

 

“Do you - ”

 

“Course I do! One sec, just let me remember - ” Dora patted down her pockets then fished a thick folded piece of parchment out of her overcoat.

 

Andy nearly snatched the letter from Dora’s hands, tugged loose the string, and opened it, a soft smile on her face. She ran the tips of her fingers down the parchment and traced patterns on it that Bella assumed were letters, her eyes glued on the parchment.

 

“Dad misses you,” Dora said in a low voice that Bellatrix heard clearly. “Maybe you could visit him soon? I’m sure Aunt Bella would be fine for a day or two.”

 

Andy smiled wryly. “But would _I_ be if Narcissa found out I left Bellatrix alone?”

 

“She’s been fine the past - what? Three weeks? Surely Sirius or me could watch her for a day.”

 

Andy bit her lip. “Bella hates it when I leave. I’m worried she’ll be more than you could handle...and with the children here...”

 

Dora patted her shoulder sympathetically. “The meeting’s about to start. The others are upstairs right now.”

 

Andy glanced at the meal. “I didn’t realize there was a meeting tonight.” She sighed. “I’ll let Molly finish the meal. Will you be staying for dinner, Dora?”

 

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Dora said with a smile. “Besides, I need to be here to take your return letter back to Dad.”

 

“I’m sure there’s a camera laying around in my old room if you want to send Ted some pictures,” Sirius said with a smirk.

 

Dora pulled a face.

 

Andy grinned slyly. “Now there’s an idea. Dora says he’s very lonely after all - ”

 

“Right,” Dora said loudly, and Andy snickered, “so that meeting? Let’s go, Aunt Bella, time to go back to your room.”

 

Bellatrix sat down heavily and stared up at Dora.

 

“Aunt Bella’s a weird name for a dog,” Mundungus muttered, “you couldn’t think of something better, mate?”

 

“Come on,” Andy said, ignoring him, “let’s go - ”

 

Mundungus pulled out his wand and flicked it at Bellatrix, muttering something under his breath. A red jet of light hit her haunches, and she leapt up with a yelp at the stinging sensation.

 

Andy rounded on Mundungus, furious, but Bellatrix tore up the steps.

 

“What, you wanted ‘er to leave, I just thought - ” Mundungus yelped, and Bellatrix thought she heard something whack him just before she flew past Remus, Kingsley, and Bill to continue up the stairs. As she ran, she saw Hermione and Ginny’s door swing open, and Hermione poked her head out the door in confusion.

 

Bellatrix ran up the next flight and, spotting Kreacher creeping out a room with a silver picture frame clutched to his chest, she leapt over him and into the room. She slunk behind a dresser and pressed herself up against the wall, eyes glued on the door warily.

 

Kreacher paused outside the door, peering back into the room. “Mistress Bellatrix?”

 

“Kreacher?” said Hermione’s voice. “Have you seen Bellatrix? Andromeda is looking for her.”

 

“The mudblood dares to speak to Kreacher,” he mumbled, holding the silver picture frame closer to his chest.

 

“Please, Kreacher, Andromeda said Bellatrix was hit with a spell, I’m trying to make sure she’s alright.”

 

Kreacher’s eyes widened. “Who attacked Mistress Bellatrix?”

 

Hermione frowned. “No one attacked her, Kreacher. Mundungus was trying to help. I don’t know what he was thinking but - ”

 

“That nasty filthy man,” Kreacher muttered. He glanced darkly in Bellatrix’s direction. Then, without a word or looking at Hermione, he pointed into the room.

 

“Thank you, Kreacher,” Hermione said, and she stepped into the room, ignoring Kreacher’s grumbling. She peered through the darkness, searching.

 

Bellatrix sat perfectly still, watching her intently. Hermione’s gaze swept over her and then snapped back.

 

She crouched down. “Bellatrix, are you okay? Your sister is looking for you.”

 

Bellatrix’s haunch twitched. The stinging had mostly faded, but she remained wary. Hermione crouched down, but she didn’t try to approach. Holding out her hand, she tried to coax Bellatrix out from behind the dresser, but she did not attempt to force the issue.

 

Bellatrix remained where she was, but slowly she relaxed, soothed by Hermione’s undemanding presence. The stinging faded entirely. Something about Hermione allowing her to make the choice to move made her feel warm instead, but she did not understand why. Feelings and notions flitted around the edges of her mind - a sense of not being in control, of duties and obligations, and walls closing in.

 

A few minutes later, Andromeda found them.

 

“Bella, there you are - ” She brushed past Hermione and crouched beside Bellatrix, hands running along her haunches worriedly. Bellatrix licked Andy’s cheek.

 

Hermione hovered anxiously. “Is she okay?”

 

Andromeda turned to Hermione, startled. “Oh! Yes, she’s fine.” She frowned thoughtfully. “Thank you for finding her.” Standing up, she brushed her fingers along Bellatrix’s back between her shoulders. “Come on, Bella.”

 

Bellatrix followed Andromeda back to their room where Andromeda stretched out on the bed with Bellatrix draped across her legs. She read the letter from Ted again with soft eyes and a sad smile.

 

 

Buckbeak gnawed on a dead rabbit in the corner of the room while Crookshanks lay curled up on his haunches, watching Bellatrix pace the length of the room. Andromeda had chased her out of the kitchen earlier for stealing a chicken breast (or two or three) while she hadn’t been looking, and Bellatrix had come here to sulk. Moreover, this seemed to be the only room in which no one cared if she destroyed it in a restless fit, which she had often.

 

There was no room to run. Her only outlets were tearing apart the furniture. Occasionally she found something to hunt successfully, but with more people in the house, the creatures kept to the walls. Perhaps she could tear a hole...many of the walls were weakened with rot, she could smell it...

 

The door creaked open. Bellatrix paused, head up, ears alert. Fred and George peered into the room.

 

“Trixie,” George hissed, his head poking through the cracked door, Fred leaning over him to look at her as well. “Come here. That’s right, who’s a good Death Eater...”

 

They had chicken. Bellatrix could smell it. There was a bag over George’s shoulder. She licked her chops, considering.

 

George pulled a chicken leg out of the bag and held it out to her. She eyed him. Then, lunging forward, she snatched the food from his hand and jogged away. She watched them as she ate, daring them to try to take it back.

 

Instead, face pale, George swallowed, took out another chicken leg and pressed it into Fred’s hand. “Your turn.”

 

They retreated a few steps, but Bellatrix could still see them. Fred held out the chicken leg just as George had. She would have to leave the room if she wanted it. She tore the last bit of meat from the bone then rose to her feet and stalked out the door. Content that they would not try to take the food away from her, she calmly took the chicken from George and tore into it as Fred set down his own bag. (It did not contain food, so Bellatrix ignored it).

 

“Right,” George said, clearing his throat. “So, Trixie - may we call you that? Excellent - we are offering you a chance to join us as a...business associate of sorts. See, we need supplies for our products and Doxy venom is perfect for some of our inventions. But our supply is low and we can’t order any more while we’re here, and it’s hard to get a hold of anyway, you see. That’s where _you_ come in.”

 

George presented her with another chicken leg, and Fred nervously wrestled her into a big fluffy maroon sweater with a yellow F on the front. Bellatrix shot Fred an agitated glare and growled.

 

“Just a sec, Trixie,” Fred said hesitantly, “no need to worry, you see...Just let me...” He grabbed her paw and directed it through a sleeve. Bellatrix narrowed her eyes at him, ears laid back. She had to admit to being curious, however... Besides, she reasoned, his face was close enough that if she felt threatened, she could rip his face off with very little effort.

 

She settled down once he no longer interfered with her ability to eat her chicken, and George tossed her another leg.

 

Fred grabbed an old dragonhide vest next and, using magic, cut it down the sides and over the shoulders. He then took leather belts and attached two on each side. He draped the back piece on first over the fluffy sweater and then held the front piece against her belly and adjusted the buckles until both pieces fit snugly against her front and back.

 

“You’re fearless, reckless - a natural predator! Unafraid to show those Doxies who they’re messing with,” George continued as Fred wrapped a scarf around Bellatrix’s neck. “And you’re covered in thick fur. The Doxies won’t be able to bite you. They won’t stand a chance!”

 

Bellatrix huffed a laugh, a low chuckle that stopped Fred and George short a moment. She could tear a hole in their bag and claim the last few bites of food for herself. Yet she couldn’t deny being interested. Something about them and their silly scheme reminded her of...something... What was it?

 

An image rose up in her mind like a memory.

 

Someone - _me?_ \- stood in the center of a room, looking down at a little girl. The details of the room were fuzzy, but the girl stood out sharp and crisp amidst the haze: long blonde hair and wide blue eyes, dressed in black robes and wearing a silver and green tie, a mischievous smile on her face. “Come on, Bella,” Cissy said, eyes sparkling, “I’ve only got three years for you to show me all the secret pathways before you graduate! I know you know them.”

 

Bella felt the phantom twitch of a smirk curving human lips. “Andy still has a few years left after me, she can show you them when I’m gone.”

 

Cissy lowered her voice conspiratorially with a glance at another girl with auburn hair lounging on a couch, pretending to read a textbook. “You’d never show Andy _all_ the passages. You’d save some just for me because _I’m_ your favorite sister.”

 

When Cissy wasn’t looking, Andy’s lips curved into a smirk, and she lifted her gaze to meet Bellatrix’s own. Pretending she hadn’t seen, she bent over and whispered to Cissy truthfully, “Well, when you put it like that, there _is_ a passage I didn’t show Andy...”

 

Cissy grinned, practically vibrating with excitement, and neither Bellatrix nor Andy ever told her that Bellatrix didn’t show Andromeda that passage because Andy discovered it on her own.

 

Bella blinked and shook her whole body, startling Fred. She rolled her eyes and huffed. Sitting back down, she lost herself in thought while he placed a cooking pot on her head, adjusted the handle so it didn’t stab her back or shoulders or bother her ears too much, and then looped another buckle under her jaw and stuck the ends of the belt to the sides of the pot with a charm. Where had that image come from? Why did it feel so...real? It wasn’t a memory, was it?

 

“Of course, we won’t let you go in unprotected,” Fred said, jarring her from her thoughts, and she flicked her ears back and bared her teeth slightly in annoyance. “That would be unprofessional and dangerous.”

 

“Also we would never miss an opportunity to dress up a Death Eater in a ridiculous outfit,” George added. “That would be a tragedy.”

 

Fred nodded solemnly, checking all the straps on her makeshift armor.

_Death Eater..._ Bellatrix mused. Why did that sound so familiar? Why did it send a thrill of exhilaration - the thrill of the hunt - up her spine at the same time it caused dread to coil in the pit of her stomach, gnawing like the threat of starvation during a harsh winter? Freedom and chains bound together in two words.

 

Footsteps came down the stairs. Bellatrix sniffed the air: Sirius was approaching them. It took the twins another minute before they realized Sirius’s presence, and they spun around. Bellatrix looked behind her, unconcerned.

 

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, staring at them.

 

The twins stared at Sirius.

 

Bellatrix waited.

 

“I heard voices so I came to...” Sirius trailed off. “I don’t want to know. I never saw any of this.”

 

He started to walk away then paused, glancing back, clearly torn. Finally he asked, “Is she going to get hurt?”

 

“Of course not!” Fred said. “We’ve taken every precaution!” He gestured at the makeshift armor.

 

Sirius raised an eyebrow, reminding Bella strangely of Narcissa for a moment. “What are you going to do with her?”

 

“Give her a bit of exercise,” George said.

 

“How?”

 

“Oh, you know, hunting some things - ”

 

“ _What_ things?” Sirius demanded, sounding aggravated now. He paused. “Doxies. Absolutely not - Merlin, look at me, I’m starting to sound like Narcissa - or, even worse, _Molly_. Fine. Some exercise will do her good, but if she’s harmed in any way, there will be hell to pay.”

 

“We can handle our mum,” Fred said, and Bellatrix snorted. That was a lie if she ever heard one.

 

“Not just from your mother. From Andromeda too. And Narcissa.”

 

“We can handle them too.”

 

Sirius grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I wouldn’t count on it.” Then he turned and walked away.

 

After a moment, Fred grabbed a bucket that rested against the wall near the door. “Right, so we want you to take this into the room and catch as many Doxies as you can. Put them in this bucket. When you’re done, bring it back out, and you’ll get more chicken.”

 

Bellatrix considered this. Again, she weighed the option of tackling him and taking the bag by force. Then she grabbed the bucket handle in her mouth, trotted back to the Doxy infested bedroom, used her front paws to lower the handle and pushed her way into the room. Fred and George jogged after her and left the door open a crack, peering through curiously.

 

Bellatrix set the bucket in the center of the room. The curtains buzzed like a bees nest. Several young wolves - not quite pups, not full grown either - had fallen victim to curiosity and low hanging bee hives. The pups she had always picked up in her mouth and taken back to safety. But the older ones, the ones who should have known better? Bellatrix had watched from a safe distance, amused, as they sniffed too close, batted at the hive with a snout or a paw, and then yelped and ran. Their swollen snouts often made them useless for hunts for the next few days as they could not breathe well enough through the swelling. But after the first few young ones had ignored Bellatrix’s attempts to chase them away, she had decided it was better to let them make their own mistakes - more entertaining too.

 

This was probably a mistake on par with batting a beehive, but Bellatrix found she could not care enough. She had been removed from her pack and her home, brought to this strange place and confined in crowded quarters with even stranger people. A restless energy coursed through her at all times, barely kept under control. It needed a release, and a good hunt, a good destruction, was the only option.

 

She leapt at the curtains, grabbed them in her jaws and yanked. The curtains groaned under the strain. The buzzing increased in volume. Bellatrix pulled, the angry buzzing rising, until the curtains ripped, and the curtain rod cracked, sending the curtains crashing to the ground. Doxies exploded from the ruins of the hive. Bellatrix jumped up, jaws snapping. She crushed the Doxies’ wings and broke their limbs in her mouth. She dropped at least a dozen into the bucket before she felt herself becoming overwhelmed by the rest, when they began scratching at her face where the fur was thinner instead of throwing themselves against her sides and the makeshift armor. She grabbed the handle in her mouth and scurried for the door. Doxies pinged off her cooking pot helmet and bit futilely at the fluffy scarf and sweater and dragon hide pieces.

 

Fred and George threw the door open for her and then slammed it after she leapt through. They grinned.

 

“Brilliant,” George said.

 

“Perhaps a bit excessive in force. We’re going to have to fix them up a bit, but I can’t argue with the results, really,” Fred said.

 

Ginny appeared at the top of the stairs, saying, “There you are. Andromeda says dinner’s ready so - what the hell?”

 

Bellatrix zipped past her. She heard George hastily stun the Doxies and shove the bucket into Ginny arms. “Hide this in our room.” He and Fred sprinted after her, hissing “Trixie, no, come back here!”

 

Bellatrix spotted the kitchen door, paused a moment to look at them over her shoulder and then raced down the steps.

 

“Shit, turn around,” Fred said.

 

As Bellatrix trotted into the kitchen, she heard Sirius say at the top of the stairs, “Oh no. I want to see this.”

 

The kitchen was smokey and smelled delicious. Molly and Andromeda worked together on dinner, and Arthur sat at the table, head tilted back, looking exhausted. He saw her first and grinned.

 

“Hello, Bellatrix,” he said. “Quite the outfit. Did the girls put you up to that?”

 

“What’s that Arthur?” Molly asked absently as she turned around, a ladle in hand. She followed Arthur’s gaze and stared, stunned. “What on earth?”

 

Andromeda turned around at that. “What’s wrong, Mol - oh. Oh no.” She started giggling at the sight of Bellatrix, and Bellatrix perked up, tongue lolling out of her mouth happily. She liked seeing Andy happy. Andy looked sad so often, like the weight of the pack rested on her shoulders alone.

 

Sirius entered the kitchen, and Bellatrix turned her head to look at him with bright eyes. He snickered, one arm thrown around each of the twins, dragging them into the kitchen with him.

 

“Boys, what is this?” Molly demanded.

 

“Our new ad campaign,” Fred said. “Need to put a friendly face on the Death Eaters to get those recruitment numbers up.”

 

“Boys,” Molly hissed, as a familiar scent reached Bellatrix’s nose from the top of the kitchen stairs, but Sirius cut Molly off, laughing and said, “Just don’t let Narcissa find out about this.”

 

“Find out about what?” said Narcissa coldly as she descended the kitchen stairs. Fred and George went white. Sirius tensed. Andy and Arthur stopped laughing. Everyone turned to look at Cissy.

 

“Find out about _what_ , Sirius?” Cissy demanded, eyes narrowing. Then she spotted Bellatrix and her eyes widened, nostrils flaring.

 

The room exploded in movement as everyone scattered. Sirius grabbed Fred and George, ducked around Cissy, and yanked them back up the kitchen stairs.

 

Cissy stared at Bellatrix. Bellatrix wiggled and licked her lips.

 

The door opened. Ginny entered the room, saw Bellatrix, saw Narcissa, and, in one fluid motion, turned and walked right back out.

 

Cissy glared up the stairs, muttering something about Sirius, and then turned her sharp gaze on Andy.

 

Andy held her hands up placatingly. “I didn’t know anything about this. But she does look adorable, doesn’t she?”

 

“She - yes, yes, she does but she isn’t - they can’t just dress her up like a doll or a pet or - oh, please, stop looking at me like that,” Cissy trailed off with an exasperated tone. Bellatrix panted harder, tongue lolling out, giving Cissy her best canine smile.

 

Cissy sighed. She knelt in front of Bellatrix and began taking the makeshift armor off. “What in the world did they rope you into? Wait - are those _scratches_ on your face - ?” Narcissa grabbed Bellatrix’s chin and held her head still as she peered at them. Bellatrix curled her lips back, exposing her teeth and expressing her displeasure, but she allowed Cissy to turn her head from side to side as she examined her. “What did they do?”

 

Bellatrix licked Cissy’s face. _I’m fine_ , the gesture said. _Don’t worry_.

 

She didn’t understand what Cissy was so worried about; a few Doxy scratches were nothing compared to some of the injuries she had experienced and witnessed in the forest. An image of a friendly and dopey wolf she had dubbed Grunt flashed through her mind: always the first to play with her, the first to cuddle up with her at night - and too slow one fateful hunt. She had narrowly danced out of the way of the stag’s antlers with only a superficial scratch on her leg.

 

Grunt had been impaled and tossed into the air. A punctured lung. Nothing the pack could do. His breaths had wheezed and gurgled as he slowly suffocated.

 

It had taken him a long time to die.

 

Yes, Doxy scratches were nothing.

 

Something else tickles at the back of her mind, too, distantly. Shattering glass and aching, searing agony. Terror. Hunted. Jumbled flashes of images that don’t make sense. A woman - Cissy? - screaming her name.

 

No, Bellatrix thought again, Doxies were nothing.

 

“Cissy, it’s alright. She’s fine,” Andy said soothingly, but Cissy’s head jerked up to glare at her with flashing eyes.

 

Bellatrix slipped out of Cissy’s grasp to stalk further into the kitchen, eyeing the food on the countertop. Molly shooed her away. Grumbling, Bellatrix left the kitchen.

 

 

Cissy, despite Andy’s best efforts, did not calm down. Molly did not appreciate the twins’ antics either. Bellatrix stretched out on the rug in front of the fireplace - a brand new one, courtesy of Cissy, who had purchased new rugs to lay in front of Bellatrix’s favorite fireplaces; nice and plush and soft - and lifted her head to lazily watch Hermione jump up from the couch and slam the library door. It only muffled the sound of Molly’s yelling somewhat. Hermione huffed, strode back to the couch and plopped back down, opening her book again angrily.

 

Bellatrix laid her head back down on the carpet, eyes drooping. It had become a common occurrence for them to spend time in the library, relaxed but keeping their own distance. Hermione’s eyes scanned the page until she found her place and began reading aloud again. For the first time, Bellatrix allowed her eyes to slip closed, no longer feeling the need to keep a watchful eye on the girl.

 

Crookshanks stretched out behind her, arching his back and pressing up against her own as he twisted and settled into a new position, purring. After a moment, he got up, came around Bellatrix’s other side and crawled between her front legs, laying down in her embrace. Bellatrix licked at his ear affectionately.

 

She stopped when she noticed Hermione watching them, an amused and touched expression on her face.

 

“Sorry,” Hermione said softly when she noticed Bellatrix’s gaze, her cheeks tinged pink. Ducking her head, she continued reading, and Bellatrix lowered her head back down and closed her eyes once more.

 

It had only been a few days, but Bellatrix found she felt most comfortable in Hermione’s presence. Ginny was a close enough second. Both let Bellatrix establish her own space and were careful not to intrude. Ginny did not talk to Bellatrix the way that Hermione did, though, and she made little attempt to reach out.

 

The library door cracked open, and Bellatrix raised her head to glare at the door, tensing, shifting to be more alert. Crookshanks mewed sadly when she stood up, extracting herself from him.

 

Ginny poked her head in. Glancing from Hermione to Bellatrix, she paused only a moment before entering and closing the door behind her.

 

“Mum is going mental,” she said as though that explained everything. “I thought maybe it would be quieter in here with you.”

 

“O-of course,” Hermione said, caught off guard.

 

Ginny sauntered over to the couch and sat down at the other end. “Spending time with Death Eaters, I see.” It sounded vaguely accusing to Bellatrix’s ears, and her ears twitched back in annoyance.

 

Ginny raised an eyebrow at her.

 

Hermione’s face flushed. “Dumbledore thinks we should try to help her remember. It’s the only thing we can really do for the Order. You all keep saying you want to help the Order and keep spying trying to figure out what they’re up to, but you don’t want to do the one thing we’re allowed to do?”

 

Ginny gazed at Bellatrix cooly. “I’m not keen on getting chummy with Death Eaters.”

 

Hermione snapped her book closed, looking furious. Bellatrix’s muscles twitched. Tense and ready to fight or flee, she watched the two girls glare at each other.

 

Eventually Ginny reached over and delicately turned the book in Hermione’s hands. “What are you reading anyway? _Hogwarts: A History_? There’s no new books in this place for you to read?”

 

“It helps reading a familiar book. I don’t get lost in thought as much. I tend to stop reading out loud when I - ” Hermione stopped. Bellatrix had the impression she hadn’t meant to say that last bit.

 

“Read out loud? Why are you reading - oh.” Ginny chuckled. “Story time with Death Eaters then?”

 

“It’s the only thing I can think to do. I don’t have anything to say to her. She _is_ a Death Eater, after all.”

 

Ginny seemed placated at that. A thoughtful look crossed her face. “Dumbledore must think she knows something useful that’ll help the Order... Maybe you should read her books about muggle stuff. Teach her about them. Most purebloods like her don’t know much about muggles.”

 

“So teaching her about muggle culture and history might show her that muggles - and by extension muggleborns - aren’t all that different from her.” Hermione considered the idea. Her brow furrowed, and she bit her bottom lip. “That could work. I’ll write my parents, see if they can send me some of my history books. Thank you, Ginny.”

 

Ginny shrugged one shoulder. “I hate to admit it, but you’re right. This is something we can do for the Order. I still don’t like it, though.”

 

“I know.” Hermione tapped a finger against the spine of her book. “Maybe it seems to you all that I don’t have any problems with this, but...I do. I’m not...I’m not going into this blindly. I know what Death Eaters are capable of, I know what they believe. I can’t...I can’t even imagine the terrible things she must have done...”

 

Ginny slid across the couch to wrap an arm around Hermione’s shoulders. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been like that before. You’re right. It’s the one thing we’re allowed to do. Dumbledore thinks we can help. Dumbledore thinks there’s something about her that’s worth trying for. We should give it a chance.”

 

“Thank you, Ginny,” Hermione said, smiling slightly.

 

Bellatrix didn’t know what was going on, what exactly they were talking about. It was a conversation - as so many were - that was spoken with an understanding that she did not possess. She understood their tone and their body language, however, and relaxed. Convinced there would be no fight, she decided to lay down again as she had been, and Crookshanks quickly snuggled back into position, stretched out along her chest and stomach, with his head under hers and his body between her front legs.

 

Ginny giggled. “It’s hard to remember what she really is when she’s like this, isn’t it?”

 

“Yes,” Hermione said softly with an undercurrent to her voice that Bellatrix did not understand, “it is.”


	15. Mudblood

Bella liked Hermione. At first, it was mostly because Crookshanks did, and Crookshanks didn’t like just anyone, so Hermione must have been someone worth liking. But it evolved from there. Bella liked Hermione because Hermione wasn’t scared of her like the others were, and she didn’t look at her like Bella made her sad like Andy and Cissy did. She loved Andy and Cissy, but Bella knew they were sad a lot and it made her heart hurt. It was nice to have someone who didn’t make her hurt.

 

She also liked Hermione because Hermione read to her. Took her time, reached out but didn’t push, allowed Bellatrix to come to her at her own pace. Hermione would take the couch and Bellatrix took the rug, becoming comfortable enough in her presence within a week - through Hermione’s actions and the trust Crookshanks showed her - to fall asleep while Hermione was still in the room.

 

The week after that, Bellatrix began moving closer bit by bit, laying on the floor closer to the couch, until one day, when Crookshanks was curled up on Hermione’s lap and purring loudly, Bellatrix took the chance and climbed up on the couch beside Hermione. They didn’t touch, not that time. But soon after that, Bellatrix allowed herself to stretch out more, take up more space and press against Hermione’s side. When Bellatrix first touched Hermione, pressed against the side of her legs, Hermione stilled, barely breathing. After a long moment, she placed her hand on Bellatrix’s back.

 

Bella didn’t always lay on the couch with Hermione after that, and Hermione did not seem to mind that. Hermione let her curl up on the rug in front of the fireplace or at her feet or on one the couches next to her with no demands about where Bellatrix chose, and once Bella got herself settled, Hermione began to read outloud. Hermione read all sorts of books: potions books, spells books, history books. Some of the history books were about people and places that sounded familiar somehow, though Bellatrix could never quite capture why or how they were familiar. Others were about places Bella had heard of but about things that didn’t sound familiar at all. Some spoke of things that she didn’t understand at all: things like _electricity_ and _computers_ , but Bellatrix did not need to understand to enjoy the sound of Hermione’s soothing voice.

 

And sometimes Hermione read fiction books. When no one was around, she did different voices when she read Bellatrix those books.

 

Bella liked that.

 

Bella liked Hermione.

 

 

One day, weeks after the children had arrived, Bellatrix padded down the stairs after hearing Kreacher mutter something about Cissy arriving, and she heard a crash in the landing hall. Bella’s ears perked up. Dora must be here. She sniffed the air to be certain and peered around the corner. Dora lay on the floor, legs tangled in the umbrella stand.

 

There was a moment of silence. Then the long curtains flew open, and a massive portrait started screaming, the other paintings following suit. The woman in the portrait was life-sized, old, haggard, her skin yellowing and her eyes wide and wild, and she screamed like a banshee.

 

Bellatrix yelped. The screaming was unbelievably loud. It hurt her ears.

 

Dora kicked herself free of the troll leg umbrella stand, jumped to her feet, and seized the curtains, yanking at them unsuccessfully, desperate to stop the screaming. The painting wailed about “blood traitors” and “half-bloods” and “mutants”. Something pricked in the back of Bellatrix’s mind, some nagging feeling, and she prowled from the steps to stand against the wall behind Dora, watching the screeching portrait with rapt attention.

 

Hermione rushed down the stairs, jumping the last few steps.

 

“Thank Merlin,” Dora said, “help me get these - ”

 

The woman in the painting clawed at Hermione, her eyes rolling wildly. “ _You_ ! Defiling my house with your _filth_ , you horrid _mudblood!_ ”

 

Bellatrix went very still. _Mudblood,_ she heard like an echo in her mind.

 

The painting kept screaming, and Hermione moved to help Dora. A snarl started, deep and rumbling, in Bella’s chest, rising to a deafening volume. Hermione turned toward her with wide eyes, freezing when she met Bella’s gaze. Freezing like prey: completely still, eyes wide, breathe shallow, every muscle tense and ready to flee, heart beating rabbit-fast.

 

_Mudblood_.

 

“Mum! Narcissa!” Dora cried, struggling to be heard over the screams of the portraits and Bella’s own snarls.

 

“Get out of my house!” the woman shrieked, and something clicked into place in Bellatrix’s mind. Aunt Walburga. Head of the pack? No. Yes. Maybe.

 

Aunt Walburga looked straight at her, eyes wild, voice commanding. “ _Someone remove this mudblood filth!_ ”

 

Bella could do that.

 

Bella hated Mudbloods.

 

Mudblood screamed, barely dodging Bellatrix’s lunge. Bella crashed against the wall. Dora pulled her wand, doors crashed open ahead of Bella, above her, footsteps pounded down the stairs.

 

Bellatrix ignored all of it. She tore after Mudblood, bowling over the Weasley twins and Ron as they stumbled from the staircase into the hall. They slowed her for only a second. Pawsteps behind her, heavy and thundering, alerted her to Sirius joining the hunt, and a vicious thrill flowed through her, the intoxication and fierce joy of a pack hunt spurring her forward.

 

Not that she needed it: Mudblood didn’t get far, only a few doors down, just before the open door where Andy and Cissy burst into the hallway, eyes wild with fear -

 

Bella overtook Mudblood with ease. Her jaws snapped around an arm, fangs tearing through flesh, bone creaking between her teeth but not quite cracking. Blood splattered on the floor, filled her mouth. Mudblood screamed and sobbed, utterly terrified.

 

Bella liked that.

 

Bella loved Mudblood’s fear.

 

Mudblood crashed to the floor, dragged down by Bella’s weight, landing just beyond the door where Andy and Cissy stood, both of whom had gone extremely pale, shoving their hands into their pockets for their wands.

 

Then something massive hurtled into Bella: a shaggy black dog. Sirius. He knocked Bella off of her prize, grabbed her by the back of her neck, trying to hold her as Cissy and Andy grabbed Mudblood by her shoulders and hauled her back down the hall. They passed Mudblood to Molly, who pressed a cloth against her arm and started muttering spells. Arthur and Dora held the other children back.

 

Andy and Cissy stood shoulder to shoulder in front of Mudblood, wands drawn and pointing at Bella. But why? Bella didn’t understand.

 

She wrenched herself free of Sirius. He planted himself between Bella and Mudblood, snapping his teeth when Bella got too close. Bella didn’t want to hurt Sirius.

 

But she would.

 

The portrait laughed, a disturbing sound. “Oh, Bella, my sweet Bellatrix, my poor darling niece, remember your dear Auntie Burga - ”

Cissy paled, whirling around, and shouted, “Close the curtains! Now!”

 

“My poor dear, what have they done to you? What have they reduced my proud little warrior to? A common pet for blood traitors and mudbloods, oh the shame! Bella, my dear sweet Bella, redeem your beloved Aunt Walburga, erase the shame of my flesh and blood - ”

 

Cissy’s face went ghost white. “ _Shut her up right now!_ ”

 

Bellatrix surged forward, colliding into Sirius, her jaws gripping his neck. Using her momentum and superior weight, her flipped him on his back, clamped tight and shook her head viciously back and forth, tearing at fur, down to the flesh -

 

“ _Stupify!_ ” Andy cried, and Bellatrix leapt back nimbly. The red jet of light hit the threadbare carpet at her paws.

 

Bellatrix swung her head to stare at Andy. Cissy flung out her arm, shoving Andy behind her, wand pointing shakily at Bella. Bella did not understand. Why did Cissy do that? Who was she protecting Andy from? Why did Andy attack her?

 

Sirius thrashed, and Bella fell upon him again. His fur was thick, which made it difficult to tear at his throat, but she could crush his windpipe and it would end all the same -

 

The screaming stopped.

 

Startled, Bella looked up. Down the hall, she glimpsed Ginny and Dora between the throng of people, clutching the curtains in their hands, panting and terrified, and the twins held their wands in white-knuckled grips, stunning the last portrait together.

 

Hermione sobbed, propped against Molly. Sirius growled weakly, struggling to his feet, blood _drip, drip, dripping_ from the matted fur around his neck. Arthur muttered a spell, and a silvery weasel bounded through the air and disappeared through a wall.

 

Andy cried softly behind Cissy, who stared at Bellatrix with wide, watery eyes, terrified and devastated.

 

Bella took a step back, her own snarls stopping abruptly. She no longer cared about Sirius. Hermione was hurt. Bella hurt her. Why did she hurt Hermione? Bella didn’t understand.

 

“Arthur, contact Dumbledore,” Molly said fiercely, though her face was pale and scared. “Whatever hairbrained scheme he has planned isn’t worth it. She’s too dangerous, whatever he says.”

 

Cissy placed herself between Bella and Sirius, who had not stopped growling. “What happened?”

 

Andy scoffed. “You were right here, Narcissa.”

 

“I _mean_ , what set Bella off?” Cissy snapped. She turned to Dora and Hermione, struggling to get her emotions under control. When she spoke again, her voice was gentler but no less urgent. “Miss Granger, what happened before Bella attacked you?”

 

Hermione brought her sobs under control. “The painting. It was the portrait. Sirius’s mother. Bellatrix was...she was fine until...until...” She swallowed. She stared at Bella with horror and betrayal, and it hurt. “It, the portrait, I mean, it called me a - ” She hesitated then whispered, “A mudblood.”

 

Something stirred in Bella, and she growled softly. Just for a second. But everyone tensed, and Hermione started to cry again, recoiling away from Bella.

 

Bellatrix hated mudbloods. But why? Mudbloods were prey. Bella was a predator. It was only natural.

 

But Bella liked Hermione. Hermione wasn’t prey. Not anymore than Crookshanks, and Bella never wanted to hurt Crookshanks. He was her friend. Hermione was her friend.

 

Bella didn’t understand.

 

She didn’t understand a lot of things anymore.

 

Molly took Hermione upstairs. Everyone started fighting.

 

“It’s too dangerous,” Andy said, gesturing at Bellatrix who flinched. “She hasn’t changed at all. If she stays here, she will kill us!”

 

“Of course _you_ wouldn’t have a problem abandoning your family,” Cissy snapped.

 

Then Andy and Cissy were yelling at each other, having an argument laden with history that Bella did not understand but knew that she should. She couldn’t remember, like she couldn’t remember why she had wanted to hurt Hermione.

 

Tail between her legs and head low, she slunk toward the stairs.

 

“Someone watch her,” Andy ordered.

 

“Bella is fine now, Andy, leave her be - ”

 

Sirius transformed and hissed, “ _Don’t wake the portraits!_ ” He stalked toward Bella, drawing his wand from his robes, but Cissy stepped in front of him, her own wand raised.

 

Bella scampered up the stairs, eager to be away from everyone. She was only making things worse.

 

There was a trail of blood leading to Hermione and Ginny’s room, not that Bella needed it to find her. She could follow the crying well enough.

 

The door was open a crack, and Bella shouldered it open wider so she could slip through. She stopped halfway inside, head bowed. Hermione sat on her bed while Molly cleaned her arm and rubbed a salve over the wounds. The bleeding had stopped. Hermione’s ruined shirt lay tossed aside on the floor nearby, reeking of blood.

 

Bellatrix felt sick. She started to back out of the door when Hermione saw her. Hermione’s eyes widened in terror, and she gasped, yanking her arm away from Molly. Bellatrix couldn’t stop the pitiful whine that escaped her. Molly’s head snapped up, eyes flashing with fury. She sprang from the bed, storming toward the door, screaming, “GET OUT - !”

 

Bellatrix fled before before she heard the rest.

 

She hid in her room, pain and fear and confusion tearing at her insides. She paced back and forth frantically. She didn’t understand. Bella liked Hermione. Bella hated mudbloods. She didn’t understand. Bella liked Hermione.

 

Bella liked Hermione.

 

She threw her head back and howled and howled and howled and didn’t stop howling until she was too exhausted to feel anymore.

 

 

Narcissa planted herself by the foot of the stairs, arms crossed, glaring at anyone who dared to get too close. The only one she allowed upstairs was Tonks, who lead the children to Hermione’s room where they were ordered to stay until Dumbledore had made his decision. Arthur stood beside her awkwardly, cleaning his glasses and looking anywhere but at where his wife stood with Andromeda and Sirius.

 

Their fighting had set off the portraits multiple times and after the third time of having to deal with Aunt Walburga’s screeching, and Molly Weasley storming down the stairs yelling that the portrait was upsetting Hermione, they had wordlessly agreed to keep silent until Dumbledore arrived. Each camp stood in their respective corners, glaring at each other.

 

Tonks came back downstairs, her hair limp and black. “The kids are with Hermione. She seems to be doing alright. Shaken up, but alright.”

 

“And how is - ” Narcissa starts, but another loud, mournful howl filled the house.

 

Looking only at Narcissa, Tonks said, “Aunt Bella is in her room. She’s in a corner just...howling. I’m not sure she even noticed I was there.”

 

Narcissa thought it was odd how quickly Tonks had taken to calling Bellatrix her aunt. Perhaps because Bellatrix got along with her oddly well, all things considered, and was not in her right mind to keep her at arm's length like Narcissa did.

 

“She seems to regret what she did,” Arthur murmured. He sighed. “But she could have killed Hermione.” Rubbing at his forehead, he said, “Maybe Dumbledore was right to give her a chance after all, and none of us expected this to be easy, but I had hoped there would be no episodes until after the children were back at Hogwarts - ”

 

“How can you say that?” Mrs Weasley snapped at her husband. “I don’t know what Dumbledore is planning, but Hermione is _not_ worth - what if it had been Ginny - ”

 

“Molly,” Arthur said placatingly, “I am not trying to downplay the severity of what has happened, but - ”

 

“She can’t stay.” Mrs Weasley’s eyes were watery. “I won’t allow it. I won’t allow that _beast_ near my children any longer - ”

 

Sirius jerked irritably. “I remind you this is _my_ house.”

 

Narcissa forced her expression to remain neutral. She had not expected Sirius’s support. Studying him a moment longer, she concluded by the way he glared at Mrs Weasley that he did not support Bellatrix. Clearly there was some other issue he had with Mrs Weasley.

 

“And that’s my sister,” Andromeda said with a dirty look at both Sirius and Mrs Weasley.

 

Narcissa tightened her grip on her wand, angry sparks shooting from the end, singeing the carpet. “You have no right to call her that. Not when you so easily turn against her. You were so eager to help when you thought everything would be easy, when you thought you could manipulate her into being what _you_ want her to be. But the _second_ things get difficult, when it’s unpleasant, you don’t hesitate to abandon her.”

 

“She attacked a _child_ ,” Andromeda shot back. “She could have killed her. She could have attacked Dora, any of us just as easily - ” 

“I’m going to check on _my_ sister. Call for me when Dumbledore arrives.”

 

“That won’t be necessary,” said Dumbledore, his voice mild but firm as he closed the front door behind him. “I apologize for the delay.” He glanced at the closed curtains. “Let’s move this to another room, shall we?”

 

Once they were inside the kitchen, with no chance of waking anything, Dumbledore said, “Now tell me what happened. How is Miss Granger?”

 

Bellatrix’s howls barely reached their ears here, but a new one started as he spoke, mournful and tired, and Narcissa made a move toward the door. Arthur Weasley placed a gentle hand on her arm, stopping her. Tonks moved to stand beside them.

 

Molly glared at them then snapped at Dumbledore, “She’s fine, no thanks to you. Bellatrix has to go, I don’t care what scheme you have planned, she _isn’t worth it_.”

 

Narcissa jerked involuntarily, and Andromeda tensed. Molly sounded ready to kill. If Dumbledore revoked his protection on Bellatrix, if he removed her from his care, the terms of the Unbreakable Vow would not protect Bellatrix any longer. Panic rose inside Narcissa, her eyes sweeping over the group.

 

“Tell me what happened,” Dumbledore commanded.

 

Tonks spoke. “It was my fault - ”

 

“Dora - ” Andromeda said, her tone disapproving and anguished, “don’t blame yourself for Bellatrix’s actions - ”

 

“I tripped,” Tonks said, ignoring her mother completely, “I set off Sirius’s mum. That’s what did it. She called Hermione a...well, a mudblood, she’s always tossing horrible words around, but this time Bellatrix heard, and she attacked Hermione. Once we got the portrait shut up, Bellatrix stopped. It had to be the portrait, she and Hermione had been getting along really well until now - ”

 

“What?” Narcissa asked, surprised. Bellatrix getting along with a mudblood? Perhaps she shouldn’t have been surprised. That damn cat belonged to Granger, and Bellatrix was inexplicably in love with it.

 

“Yeah. Hermione’s been reading to her for weeks in the library. Aunt Bella loves it.”

 

“She...” Narcissa furrowed her brow. That was a strange picture.

 

“I see,” Dumbledore said. “And how long has Bellatrix been howling?”

 

“She went upstairs. She’s real upset.”

 

One last long mournful howl rose and fell, and then Bellatrix was silent. Narcissa tensed, a spike of panic filling her chest. Had something happened to Bellatrix?

 

Dumbledore’s eyes were fixed on the ceiling. “Has anyone been up to check on her?”

 

“I did,” Tonks said. “She’s fine. Physically.”

 

Dumbledore sighed. “Right now I am more concerned for her mental and emotional health.” He lowered his eyes to sweep over the group. “I will go check on Bellatrix. Narcissa, would you care to join me?” He politely offered her his arm.

 

Narcissa caught a flash of hurt and shame cross Andromeda’s face as she placed her hand on Dumbledore’s elbow. She felt a savage pleasure in ignoring it and allowed Dumbledore to lead her from the kitchen.

 

 

Hermione stared at the closed bedroom door worriedly. The yelling from downstairs had stopped, but the howling continued.

 

“What do you think they’re going to do to Bellatrix?”

 

“Dunno,” Ron said, his expression dark. He and Ginny stood by the door, arms crossed, reminding Hermione of bouncers. “Put her down if they’ve got any sense.”

 

Hermione paled, tears welling up in her eyes, and Ginny smacked Ron across the back of the head.

 

“They can’t!” Hermione said fiercely. She started to scramble off the bed, fully intending to charge downstairs. Fred and George, sitting on either side of her on the bed, grabbed her by the arms and pulled her back down. “We knew this would be dangerous, they can’t just give up!”

 

“It’s alright, Hermione,” George said.

 

Fred nodded. Rubbing small circles on her back, he added, “No way Dumbledore would let them do that.”

 

“Mrs Malfoy wouldn’t let them,” Ginny added. “She’d fight the whole Order if she had too.”

 

“Tonks too,” George said. “But Dad wouldn’t let it get that far. He’s levelheaded. Lupin and Shacklebolt would be on their side too. Everything’ll be fine.”

 

Hermione noticed that not one of them said anything about Sirius or Andromeda, and something about that made her heart clench.

 

Ron stared at them all, mouth agape. Hermione looked away, not wanting to see his judgement as he struggled for words.

 

“Are you all bloody mental?” he burst out. “Hermione, she _tried to kill you_.”

 

Hermione glared at him, defiant. “And Sirius nearly ripped your leg off, but you were just fine with helping him!”

 

“That’s completely different! Sirius was innocent, he didn’t mean to hurt - ”

 

George placed his hands on Hermione’s shoulders firmly, stopping her from rising from the bed as she shot back, “No, he just didn’t care who got hurt as long as he got Pettigrew!”

 

“That’s not fair, and anyway, he still wasn’t trying to kill me!”

 

Another howl rose and fell, sounding very much like a wounded animal, then went silent. Another did not follow.

 

“Is...is Bellatrix alright? Do you think they did something to her?” Hermione asked in a small voice.

 

“Nah,” said George, but he looked uncertain.

 

“We should check on her,” Hermione said, but even as she said it, she felt her heart begin to race and her head spun at the thought of coming face to face with Bellatrix.

 

Fred gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll go look. See what’s going on.” He slipped out of the room.

 

Ron looked between them all with a growing desperation. “Ginny, this is mental, you have to know this - ”

 

Ginny looked between Ron and Hermione slowly, thoughtfully. “I’m angry too, Ron, but...well, Bellatrix has been getting along well before this, hasn’t she?” She sounded uncertain, gazing at Hermione as though trying to figure something out.

 

Hermione felt a rush of gratitude, though she did not know why Ginny was looking at her like that. “Bellatrix has been fine until Sirius’s mother started screaming at her. She was doing really well - ”

 

“And then she tried to kill you!” Ron shot back.

 

“It’s not her fault, she obviously didn’t know what she was doing, not with how she stopped once Sirius’s mother wasn’t screaming at her anymore - ”

 

“I can’t believe you’re defending her - ”

 

“She doesn’t know what’s going on, Ron, it isn’t fair to act like she does - ”

 

“She knew what she was doing, she’s acting just like a Death Eater, Hermione, you can’t trust her - ”

 

“How is she supposed to get better if we don’t reach out her? She’s stuck in this house with the portraits screaming awful things, and Kreacher doesn’t know any better, he just repeats what he was taught, and he repeats it to Bellatrix. Dumbledore says she could help the Order, but only if we help her! This is the one thing we’re allowed to do for the Order - ”

 

“Doubt it after this,” George muttered bitterly.

 

Ginny shot him a look. “It’s not like they can keep Bellatrix locked up - ”

 

“Mum’ll definitely try.”

 

“Andromeda wouldn’t let them do that.”

 

“I dunno,” George said, frowning slightly. “Did you hear the way she was yelling? She wants Bellatrix gone.”

 

“ _Tonks_ won’t let them do that. _Dumbledore_ wouldn’t do that either,” Ginny said firmly, and George didn’t argue further.

 

They were silent for a moment. Then Hermione asked in a small voice, “Do you think Andromeda really wants Bellatrix gone? She’s been trying so hard to help her get better.”

 

No one answered for a long moment.

 

“I think,” George said finally, slow and careful, “that the ‘most ancient and noble House of Black’ has some serious family issues to work out.”

 

 

When Bella was finally too tired to keep howling, she crawled under the bed and lay there silent. The yelling downstairs had stopped, as had the screaming from the portrait of the horrible woman named Aunt Walburga. Bellatrix remembered she was pack, was supposed to be a leader, but had not yet remembered quite _how_.

 

Bellatrix remembered several things now, but she still did not understand.

 

The words the woman used, _mudblood_ and _blood traitor_ left Bella agitated and upset. _Mudbloods_ \- like Hermione - were...were prey, something to be...to be _hunted_ . But also something to be _avoided_. A poison, a thief, something to be destroyed, something that made a pack sick. All these things that made sense individually but not together, not about Hermione.

 

And a _blood_ _traitor_ was even worse. A traitor to the pack, a member sick with a disease that could spread - something that weakened it, that could cripple the rest of the pack - something to be driven out so that the pack remained strong. _Andromeda_ was a blood traitor, _Sirius_ was a blood traitor, the _Weasleys_ were all blood traitors. But the Weasley pack was strong and healthy, as far as Bella could see. They were close knit and worked well together.

 

And Andromeda was a blood traitor because...because... Bella rubbed a leg against her snout as though she could knock the answer into her head. Because...she had found....a mate, had a pup, begun her own pack. But that _made no sense,_ that was the way of things; it was only natural. Cissy had done the same, though Bellatrix had joined Cissy’s new pack rather than begin her own.

 

Sirius had left their pack to join another, though he had not been following a former pack member, which was perhaps unusual and confusing, but here he was again with Cissy and Andy and her.

 

She was _missing something_ , and she still did not know what, and every piece of new information only added to her confusion. The more she remembered, the less she understood. She hated it. She hated this place. She wanted...she wanted...

 

She wanted to go _home_. To feel the forest floor under her paws, the exhilaration of the hunt, the bond of the pack. To return to a place where she _understood_ and was understood in turn.

 

There was murmuring down the hall, yelling from downstairs, footsteps and muttering as Kreacher moved past the door. The door creaked open, and a long shadow stretched across the floor.

 

“Miss Bella?” Kreacher croaked.

 

Bellatrix crawled under the bed, not wanting to be found by anyone, not even Kreacher. She watched from the under the bed as he opened the door wider, the light spilling onto the floor and the dust drifting in the air.

 

“Is Miss Bella hurt? Is there anything poor old Kreacher can do for his Miss Bella?”

 

“Oi,” barked another voice, one of the twins (Bellatrix sniffed the air and concluded it was Fred), “what are you doing here? Get away from her.”

 

Kreacher sneered. “Kreacher is looking after his mistress. Kreacher is a good house elf who serves his masters well.”

 

“She doesn’t need you spouting your rubbish in her ears,” Fred growled, but before Bellatrix could decided what to do, Cissy commanded, “I suggest you reconsider your manners, Mr Weasley. Kreacher is a Black family house elf. He does not belong to you.”

 

Fred did not respond to that. “Professor! What’s going to happen to Bellatrix?”

 

Bellatrix shook her head a little. She had not noticed the approach of Narcissa nor of Dumbledore. That kind of unawareness could spell death or injury.

 

“Are you concerned for her wellbeing, Mr Weasley?” Dumbledore asked. His tone was measured and calm. Curious.

 

Kreacher continued muttering under his breath.

 

Bellatrix’s ears perked up slightly. Did Dumbledore plan to do something to her? No. If he did, Cissy would not be with him, not so calmly. She would rage like a storm, shaking trees, downing branches, flooding rivers.

 

...Wouldn’t she?

 

Fred nimbly dodged the question of his concern. “Hermione wants to know.”

 

“I see,” Dumbledore said.

 

“She wants to know if you’re going to throw Bellatrix out. Lock her up.”

 

“Is that what Miss Granger wishes?”

 

Bellatrix stilled. Kreacher’s muttering grew louder.

 

“ - thinks she has a say over my poor Miss Bella, nasty little creature, oh what would my mistress think, the shame - ”

 

“No,” Fred said, “she doesn’t want that at all.”

 

Someone shifted, making the floor creak. Cissy made a shushing noise, and Kreacher stopped muttering.

 

“Miss Granger is defending my sister?”

 

Bellatrix picked her head up off the floor slightly, the top of her head brushing the underside of the bed. Hermione was defending her?

 

“Yeah,” Fred said. “She thinks that Bellatrix is...she thinks she’s trying. Says they’ve been getting along great.”

 

“I see,” Dumbledore mused. “Thank you, Mr Weasley. I will take that under consideration. In the meantime, you may assure Miss Granger that I have no intention of harming Bellatrix or locking her up.”

 

Fred’s footsteps retreated down the hall. A door opened and closed. A pause then, “Bella?” Cissy, hesitant.

 

Bellatrix shifted her head slightly to peer at Cissy from under the bed. Cissy’s face was pale and drawn, her eyes wide with worry. Dumbledore stood beside her.

 

“Miss Tonks said Bellatrix was here.” Cissy bit her lip, eyes scanning the room.

 

Bella felt a twinge of guilt, but she did not have the energy or desire to move. Her limbs felt pinned to the floor by an invisible weight, and it felt like a rock had settled in her chest.

 

Dumbledore stepped forward. “Now, Bellatrix, you wouldn’t make an old man abuse his knees by forcing him to sit on the floor to speak with you, would you?”

 

Bellatrix huffed but did not move. At her sound, Cissy lay down on the floor alongside the bed and reached out to stroke Bella’s head. She looked sad. Again. Bellatrix shivered - how could Cissy trust that Bella wouldn’t turn on her too? How could Bella trust that Cissy would not turn on her like Andy had? Why was it that Bellatrix always made her sisters sad?

 

“Bella,” Cissy said softly, “ _please._ ”

 

Bella sighed heavily, but she dragged herself out from under the bed, her movements sluggish and difficult. She only made it half out from under the bed when she gave up. This would have to be good enough, she decided.

 

Cissy sat up and leaned back against the bed. Dumbledore sat on the other side of her, regarding her thoughtfully. He scratched behind her ear lightly.

 

“I understand that you attacked Miss Granger this afternoon,” he said, his voice light with an underlying current of steel. Bella flinched. “I should have suspected such a thing would happen. Admittedly, I did not believe there would be much change in your condition before the end of the summer. Still...”

 

He placed a hand on the back of Bella’s neck lightly. Bellatrix tensed.

 

“I have not come to punish you, Bellatrix, nor cast you out. I will not lecture or yell. I suspect that you will not attack Miss Granger again.”

 

Bella whined.

 

“You understand what you did was wrong. I expect you will be more on guard against such episodes going forward.” Dumbledore scratched between her shoulders. “In the coming months, I imagine things will only get more confusing for you. I ask only that you trust your own experiences, your own instincts. You have a chance to rebuild yourself with a family - a pack - that will fight beside you, that will take care of you. Trust in them. Trust in your sisters, trust in Sirius. Trust in the kindness, compassion, and forgiveness that Hermione Granger has shown you. They will not lead you astray.

 

“No matter what you may remember, know this: it is our choices that make us who we are, and we always have choices. You can change if only you choose to. You have family willing to help you. I believe they can grant you a freedom, you - ”

 

Bellatrix’s head shot up at the word _freedom_ , and Dumbledore stopped, eyebrows rising in surprise. _Freedom_ . Bellatrix felt the word in her whole body like the clanging of a bell, like the hunger of a long lean winter, like the thrill of the hunt. A longing whine escaped her throat. Could Dumbledore offer her that? Could he offer her freedom? Bellatrix did not understand why that word meant so much. She had been free, hadn’t she? In the forest, with her pack? But there was something more to the word, something she felt in her soul, in her bones, that she did not understand, but she knew she _wanted_ so much her mouth watered, her whole body leaning toward him, as though it were something physical she could _taste_ and _touch_ and _seize and not let go_ -

 

Dumbledore’s expression changed from surprise to one of sad understanding. “I see. Is that what Lord Voldemort offered you, Bellatrix?”

 

Cissy’s fingers tensed in Bella’s fur at the unfamiliar name.

 

No. Not unfamiliar. Bella tilted her head, thinking. There was something about that name...

 

“I cannot stay much longer,” Dumbledore said, beginning to struggle to his feet. Cissy stood and politely offered him a hand, though her posture was still closed off. “Now, I must see to Miss Granger before I take my leave. Goodnight, Bellatrix.”

 

He looked at Cissy over his half-moon spectacles. “I trust you will not act rashly, Narcissa. No harm will come to Bellatrix here, I assure you. You have my Vow.”

 

Narcissa sniffed in disdain. “Don’t make promises you cannot keep. Do you they even know we made an Unbreakable Vow? Any one of the Order could have killed Bellatrix tonight.”

 

“And yet, they did not,” Dumbledore said amicably. “Only one spell was sent at Bellatrix tonight, and it was to harmlessly subdue her. Sirius was injured tonight - he could have very well been killed - Miss Granger as well. But Bellatrix herself is unharmed.”

 

Bellatrix looked up at Narcissa, who watched Dumbledore with an expressionless face. But Bella could read her body language, the slight tension in her muscles, the tightness around her eyes, the way her body shifted ever-so-slightly backwards away from Dumbledore.

 

What bothered Narcissa about Dumbledore? Andy was not wary of Dumbledore. Sirius was often unhappy and agitated when Dumbledore was mentioned, but he did not distrust Dumbledore the way Cissy did, and yet Cissy still came to this place and deferred to his judgement.

 

Bella did not understand the strange pack dynamics in this place, where all these packs came together and sometimes seemed to overlap. Bella did not know who to defer to in this. She was no longer pack with Andy or Sirius, except for that she was apparently, but she was no longer pack with Cissy, either. She was the eldest sibling, which should mean that she was the pack leader, but she wasn’t. But that didn’t make sense because it was the most dominant who was the pack leader. She had no pack after Sirius and Andy left, and mother and father died - _no, not died, I left, and they were as good as dead to me -_ and it had been Cissy who had taken her into her own pack.

 

Except that’s not quite right either because Bellatrix had a...a... There had been someone, though Bella did not know what to call him now. He was not a pack leader in the way she understood, he was not family, but he had offered her many things and taught her so much and given her _more_ than she had truly imagined possible.

 

That she felt right down in her bones, and for a second, she wanted nothing more than to find that man, to give him everything - but hadn’t she already done that? Hadn’t it cost her as much as she had gained? Hadn’t it cost her deeply and, in the end, hadn’t she lost everything she had been given?

 

The details were just out of reach no matter how hard she tried to remember. The feelings were keen but she could not put any events or details to them. What had she lost? Even as she struggled to remember, the details slipped further away and the feelings and impressions with them, gone like water down a stream.

 

Dumbledore watched her with an unreadable expression, staring into her eyes as though he could see right through her. She lowered her eyes submissively, hating it.

 

Dumbledore spoke again. “As I said, I must see to Miss Granger now. Please, do not act rashly. I know how challenging that can be when it comes to our loved ones, but I implore you not to prove my trust misplaced in this matter.”

 

Cissy’s jaw clenched, a slight twitch in her cheek the only indication. At length, she said, “I have no choice, do I? Not if I want to see my sister.”

 

Dumbledore regarded her for a moment. “Would you perhaps care to accompany me to visit Miss Granger? I think it may be enlightening.”

 

Narcissa relented and, casting one last glance at Bellatrix, followed him from the room.

 

Hermione, Ginny, Ron and George looked up when Fred ducked back into the room, closing the door behind him. Hermione caught the sound of Kreacher’s voice before Fred closed the door.

 

“Bellatrix is fine,” he said before Hermione could ask. “Nothing’s happened to her. Dumbledore and Mrs Malfoy are with her now.”

 

Hermione bit her lip. “Did Dumbledore say...?”

 

“Bellatrix is staying. She’s not going to be locked up or tossed out.”

 

Hermione let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. The tightness in her chest loosened, and she breathed easier. “That’s good.”

 

Ginny nodded encouragingly. Ron shrugged his shoulders irritably. He opened his mouth, and Hermione braced herself for an outburst of anger, but at her expression, he stopped and shut his mouth.

 

The silence dragged out between them. Hermione fidgeted with the cuff of her sleeve. Though the wounds had been healed, the muscles were still sore. Her arm ached and throbbed, and she felt a bit lightheaded. Possibly the blood loss, she thought reasonably, and then immediately wanted to throw up, feeling sick at the thought of all the blood - her blood - that had splattered the carpet and walls of the hallway downstairs.

 

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. Her head jerked up as the door opened, and Dumbledore entered with Narcissa Malfoy behind him.

 

“Miss Granger,” Dumbledore said, “how are you feeling?”

 

“Better,” Hermione said, trying to force the thoughts of flashing teeth and grey eyes out of her mind.

 

Dumbledore did not appear to believe her, though he did not call her bluff, and she supposed it wasn’t a very convincing lie even if partly true. Her arm was better now than it had been an hour ago when her skin and muscles had been torn open -

 

Her breathing started to get faster and shallower, and Dumbledore frowned. To the others, he said, “I would like a word with Miss Granger alone, please.”

 

None of them looked happy, but one by one they filed out the door. Ron shot a nasty look at Mrs Malfoy as he left, and Ginny gave her a cool stare. Once the door was closed, Dumbledore waved his wand, casting a few nonverbal spells, before he turned back to her.

 

“Anything said between us will remain between us, Miss Granger,” Dumbledore said. “I would like to know how you are really feeling.”

 

Hermione eyed Narcissa warily. “I’m...” She found she could not say anything more. Despite her best efforts to keep her eyes on Dumbledore, her gaze flickered to Narcissa repeatedly. Any words she might have said died on her tongue.

 

After a minute, Narcissa’s expression shifted from its usual cool mask of indifference. For the first time, Narcissa looked at her with compassion. Sympathy.

 

“It is quite alright if you are not feeling better,” Narcissa said soothingly. A familiar tone that reminded Hermione of when her own mother comforted her when she was upset. “I am...” Narcissa swallowed. She moved to perch on the edge of the bed, though she kept a certain distance between them and did not reach out to touch her. “Bellatrix is...” Words failed and Narcissa fell silent.

 

Hermione shivered. “I still...I still want to help her. She didn’t know what she was doing.”

 

Narcissa frowned.

 

Dumbledore gazed at her thoughtfully. “What makes you say that, Miss Granger?”

 

“She...” Hermione glanced at Narcissa and stopped. Narcissa and Bellatrix had disowned Andromeda for marrying a muggleborn. Would Narcissa abandon Bellatrix, even in her current state, if she knew that Bellatrix enjoyed her company?

 

“Miss Tonks informs me that you have been spending quite a bit of time with Bellatrix in the library,” Dumbledore prompted.

 

When Narcissa’s expression did not change, Hermione said, “I’ve been reading to her. She seems to like it.”

 

“Bellatrix always enjoyed books. She loved to learn,” Narcissa said.

 

“It seemed the safest way to interact with her,” Hermione continued. “She never lets anyone get close to her - besides family, that is - so it’s hard to help. But she listens to everything so I thought perhaps I could help that way.”

 

“I see,” Dumbledore said. “And what is that makes you think Bellatrix did not know what she was doing when she attacked you?”

 

Hermione bit her lip. “It was completely different to how she’s been. And the way she stopped so suddenly once that awful portrait wasn’t screaming at her - ” Remembering that Walburga had been Narcissa’s aunt and undoubtedly had a better relationship with her than Sirius did, she hastily added, “Oh. I’m sorry, she was your aunt - ”

 

“Aunt Walburga always did bring out the worst in Bellatrix,” Narcissa said neutrally, though Hermione thought she saw something dark in her eyes. “The pressure to uphold the Black family name, to set an example as the eldest for the rest of us.”

 

“It seems then that the portrait sparked something in Bellatrix’s memory,” Dumbledore said.

 

“She said...” Hermione closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. Tried to remember what the portrait said exactly. The screeching, the hands furled into claws swiping at her uselessly from inside the canvas, the rising growl behind her, Bellatrix’s eyes filled with cold hatred. “She said...she was yelling what she always is. She wants us out of Grimmauld Place, and she...wanted someone to get rid of us.”

 

She opened her eyes, her breathing quickening, her heart rate speeding up. Crookshanks slunk out from under the bed, jumped up into her lap, and curled up there, purring. She stroked his fur, feeling herself begin to calm.

 

“I see,” Narcissa said. “It wasn’t Aunt Walburga calling you a mudblood then, though I’m certain that didn’t help.”

 

When she didn’t elaborate further, Hermione gathered her courage and said, “What else was it then?” She didn’t dare to speculate about the Black family, though she had a suspicion of what Narcissa would say.

 

“There were a lot of expectations put on Bellatrix - on all of us, of course, but as the eldest, Bellatrix bore the brunt of it. Sirius, too, as he was expected to one day be the head of the Black family, but as Bellatrix was ten years his senior, it was up to her to not only set a good example for Andromeda and myself but to model what it meant to be a proper Black for Sirius.”

 

Hermione fidgeted with the cuff of her shirt. “When Walburga was screaming for _someone_ to get rid of us...she meant _Bellatrix_ , didn’t she?”

 

“I cannot say for certain that she meant Bellatrix specifically, given the way she deteriorated further in her later years when she had her portrait done, but yes, Bellatrix would certainly have taken it as an order, and rightfully so.”

 

“She seemed upset,” Hermione offered. “Once she wasn’t being screamed at.”

 

Narcissa said nothing. Her expression was torn for a moment. Then her expression smoothed out, her face an expressionless mask once more.

 

“I appreciate what you have done for the Order, Miss Granger, by attempting to help Bellatrix,” Dumbledore said calmly. “If you do not wish to continue, no one will blame you.”

 

“I want to help!” Hermione said. “Just...” She swallowed. “I...” She trailed off, unable to continue as she remembered Bellatrix’s fangs sinking into her arm.

 

“Take your time, Miss Granger. I do not expect you to go to Bellatrix immediately. Her recovery will take time,” Dumbledore said, and Hermione felt herself relax slightly.

 

Abruptly, Narcissa opened her mouth to speak. Then she paused and closed her mouth, jaw clenched. Hermione watched her curiously. At length, Narcissa said simply, “Take care, Miss Granger. My sister is not - and never has been - tame.”

 

Hermione did not know what to say to that. Narcissa stood and swept out of the room without another word.

 

****

 

Bellatrix did not eat that night nor the next day. Andromeda came back to the kitchen for the third time with an untouched steak, her face tight and drawn, brows furrowed.

 

“No luck?” Sirius asked. He rubbed his neck. Though Andromeda had healed all the damage, it still felt sore when he spoke.

 

Andromeda shook her head. She dropped the plate on the table, collapsing into a chair. Resting her elbows on the table, she buried her face in her hands.

 

Sirius glanced around the people gathered at the kitchen table. Molly set the table with a determined air to pretend that nothing was wrong. The children glanced nervously between the adults, and Hermione’s face was tight and drawn, but she asked in a somewhat small voice, “Bellatrix isn’t eating?”

 

Andromeda jumped. She stared at Hermione like she had forgotten she was there. “No. I’m...I’m sorry, you don’t want to hear about this, let me put this away - ”

 

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

Molly’s lips pursed, and she set a bowl of mashed potatoes down on the table hard enough that everyone jumped.

 

Andromeda blinked at Hermione. “You don’t have to pretend. No one blames you for not wanting anything to do with Bellatrix anymore, I promise - ”

 

“But I do!” Hermione burst out.

 

Sirius’s eyebrows rose. Hermione had avoided Bellatrix since last morning.

 

She turned red as she realized everyone was staring, but forged on ahead. “I want to help the Order, and besides Bellatrix obviously feels very sorry about what she did. I just...I can’t...not right now...” She straightened up. “But I still want to help.”

 

Andromeda stared at Hermione in disbelief. “I...thank you.”

 

“No.” Molly placed her hands on her hips, glaring sternly at Hermione. “Absolutely not. She tried to _kill_ you, Hermione - ”

 

“That’s what I said,” Ron grumbled, and Ginny elbowed him.

 

“None of you are to be anywhere near that - that - that _beast_ , understand - ”

 

_“Beast_?” Andromeda said coldly, and Sirius shivered at how much she sounded like Narcissa. “That’s my _sister_ \- ”

 

Molly glared at Andromeda. “She’s a Death Eater! Right now, she’s no better than a wild animal, and I still think she should be caged - ”

 

Sirius’s blood ran cold. _Caged_. Icy rain, freezing winds, huddled against the chill of the Dementors, fighting against the clawing insanity by grabbing hold of his very worst memory and holding it close to his heart.

 

Andromeda jumped to her feet, her chair flipping over, her wand halfway raised, and still feeling the lingering chill of the Dementors, Sirius yelled, “ _Enough!_ ”

 

Sirius glared at Andromeda. “Please don’t start slinging spells in my kitchen,” he drawled.

 

She rolled her eyes and shoved her wand back into her robes. Molly stared at Andromeda with wide eyes, nostrils flaring. The children watched, tense and still, faces pale. Hermione’s eyes were watery.

 

Shooting a glare at Andromeda and Molly, he turned to her. Softening his gaze, he said gently, “Are you alright, Hermione?”

 

“I didn’t mean to - I’m sorry, I - ”

 

“It’s not your fault,” Sirius said. “I’m so proud of you. You’re so brave to want to keep helping the Order, but what happened with Bellatrix... That was her _remembering_ something and acting on it. She’s a Death Eater. That behavior, that aggression, that’s _exactly_ what she was like before. I didn’t see her after I ran away from home, but that’s exactly what I would expect from her - ”

 

“A few months ago, you were telling us she was helping you survive - ”

 

“It wasn’t really her, though, was it? She’s not in her right mind - ”

 

“ _Sirius_.” Andromeda’s voice was soft but with a hard edge to it that made everyone fall silent. “You can’t pick and choose which bits are _really_ Bellatrix. Believe me, it would have made hating her so much easier, I wish - ” She stopped, composed herself, and started again. “They’re all a part of Bellatrix.”

 

She looked away, running a hand through her thick auburn hair. “We just have to see what she chooses when she remembers.”

 

Sirius sighed. Andy wasn’t wrong, not exactly, but she was too optimistic. When she had been younger, Bellatrix had looked after him and cared for him. This behavior was not unfamiliar. She would remember her prejudices in time - was starting to now - and that care, that protection, would go away the same as it had all those years ago. For both him and Andromeda.

 

“Are you giving up on her so easily?” Hermione asked, baffled.

 

Andromeda’s head shot up. She looked like she had been slapped. Sirius straightened up in his chair, affronted.

 

“You’re too young, Hermione,” he said, struggling to keep his temper. “You don’t understand. You don’t know what it was like in the first war, you don’t know what the Death Eaters were like - what _Bellatrix_ was like, what she did - ”

 

“Because you won’t tell us anything, how are we supposed to help if we - ”

 

“You shouldn’t be helping at all!” Molly said fiercely.

 

“I agree with Molly,” Sirius said, nodding to her stiffly.

 

“But - ” Hermione started.

 

“No,” Sirius said, “Molly is right. You should all stay away from Bellatrix, she’s a matter for the Order to deal with and none of you are in the Order - ”

 

“Because you won’t let us!” Fred shouted.

 

“We’re of age,” George said hotly.

 

“No,” Molly said, “absolutely not, stay away from - ”

  
A weasel patronus scampered through the kitchen door and sat up on the middle of the table. Everyone fell silent. Arthur Weasley’s voice filled the room, and Sirius’s heart sank: “Harry attacked by Dementors. Expelled. Ministry set to destroy his wand. Dumbledore at Ministry. Harry _must not_ leave Privet Drive.”


	16. Fear

Andromeda sighed as Bellatrix shied away, teeth bared at the collar and leash she held in her hands. “Come on, Bella. Just until we get to my house.”

 

Bellatrix huffed and shook herself. She slipped between the bookshelves, eyeing the closed library door.

 

Narcissa sat on the couch, legs crossed, a cup of tea held delicately in her hands. She brought the cup to her lips and blew gently, smirking. “Good girl, Bella.”

 

Andromeda glared at Narcissa. “You _could_ help.”

 

“Oh no.” Narcissa took a dainty sip of tea. Her eyes sparkled mischievously. “This is far too entertaining to interrupt.”

 

Andromeda groaned.

 

The past few days had been hectic with the Order in a panic after the attack on Harry Potter. Sirius had wanted Bellatrix out from under foot while the Order brought Harry in, and Dumbledore had agreed it to be for the best. Not everyone in the Order knew about Bellatrix - or Narcissa. The guard for Harry’s transportation to Grimmauld Place was gathering tonight before heading to his home, and Andromeda wanted to be away from all of that before it began.

 

The library door opened, and Sirius poked his head in. “How’s it - ?”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Andromeda saw Bellatrix leap forward.

 

“Close the door!” Andromeda lunged at Sirius. Seizing him by the front of his robes, she yanked him into the room with one hand and slammed the door closed with the other.

 

Bellatrix skidded to a halt in front of the door. She shot Andromeda an affronted look. Andromeda grabbed at her, but Bellatrix danced out of reach. Narcissa shook with barely suppressed laughter, splashing tea on her hands. She set the cup on the table in front of her quickly.

 

The ghost of a smile played on Sirius’s lips. “Not going well then.”

 

Andromeda blew a strand of hair out of her face irritably. Then she looked Sirius up and down, an idea forming in her mind, and a smirk curving her lips. Sirius stopped smiling.

 

“Oh dearest cousin of mine,” Andromeda said, “my sister is proving quite useless - ”

 

“Which one?”

 

“Both, but mostly the one with hands. Won’t you be a gentleman and help me?”

 

Sirius eyed her suspiciously. “Have I ever told you that I have a rule not to trust any of the Black women?”

 

“Smart.” Narcissa smirked. “I believe that’s the first intelligent thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

 

Andromeda waved a hand dismissively, even as she tossed Narcissa an amused smile. “It’ll be fine. I just want you to show Bellatrix there’s nothing wrong with the collar.”

 

Sirius stared at her for a long moment. Andromeda could see the gears in his head grinding to a halt. Narcissa covered her mouth to hide her grin.

 

“You want me to wear the collar?” Sirius asked, eyebrows raising.

 

“Just for a minute,” Andromeda said. “ _Please_ , Sirius. You know you’re my favorite cousin.”

 

“You’re not mine,” Narcissa said.

 

Sirius ignored her. “I’m _not_ putting that on.”

 

“ _Fine,_ ” Andromeda huffed. She glared at Bellatrix, currently hiding behind Narcissa’s chair. “It’s not that big a deal, Bella. Two minutes. Just two minutes.” She moved over to the chair and crouched down, holding out a hand. She held the collar behind her back. “See? We can talk about this like rational...adults. One of whom is....extremely fuzzy, but...” Closing her eyes, Andromeda took a deep breath and cursed her very existence. Other people didn’t have to deal with this kind of ridiculousness.

 

Bellatrix grumbled but leaned forward and rubbed her head against Andromeda’s hand. Andromeda smiled, scratched at Bella’s chin, and once Bella’s eyes had drifted closed, she jumped on Bella, wrapping her arms around her neck and trying desperately to clip the collar on while Bellatrix growled and squirmed.

 

Bellatrix jumped in the air, slipping through Andromeda’s arms, and knocking Andromeda into the coffee table. Narcissa’s cup of tea fell, landing in Andromeda’s lap, splashing all over her robes.

 

Narcissa howled with laughter. Andromeda glared at her. Sirius half-turned away, hiding his face, but his shoulders shook.

 

“I hate all of you,” Andromeda said. She glared at Bellatrix who watched her with a very self-satisfied expression. “But mostly you.”

 

Narcissa waved at the collar in Andromeda’s arms. “Fine, give it - give here - ” she said, still laughing. Andromeda shoved the collar into Narcissa’s hands. “You were - going about it all - ” Narcissa struggled to suppress her giggling. “All wrong. Try this.”

 

She pulled her wand out of her pocket and transfigured the collar into a vest, black with forest green serpents on both sides. “Bella,” she said sweetly. “What do you think of this?”

 

Bellatrix approached cautiously, head stuck forward. Eyeing the vest warily, she paced back and forth over Andromeda a few times, whacking Andromeda in the face with her tail each time. Andromeda sputtered and spat fur out of her mouth.

 

Bellatrix sniffed at the vest in Narcissa’s hands, moved back and forth to eye it from all angles, and then sat down in front of Narcissa, head tilted curiously. After a moment, she huffed and placed her head in Narcissa’s lap. Slowly, Narcissa moved to put it on. Bellatrix obediently lifted her paws so Narcissa could place them through the leg holes and moved side to side as directed while Narcissa did up the buckles and tightened the straps. Then she clipped the leash to a ring between the middle of Bellatrix’s shoulder blades.

 

“Very good, Bella,” Narcissa murmured. Bellatrix nudged her hand. Narcissa obligingly scratched her ears.

 

Andromeda stood up, cleaning herself of the spilled tea with a quick wave of her wand. She tossed her head irritably. “And you couldn’t do that before because...?”

 

“I told you: it was hilarious.”

 

Andromeda glared. “How did you know that would work?”

 

Narcissa stood and dropped the leash into Andromeda’s hand. “You were treating her too much like some kind of pet and not enough like your sister.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Andromeda demanded.

 

“It _means_ Bellatrix would never let anyone chain her up, but she could never resist cute clothes.”

 

“I wasn’t trying to - ” Andromeda stopped, knowing it was a lost cause. Besides, she thought, as much as she hated to admit it, she worried Narcissa was right. Was she treating Bellatrix too much like an animal? Shoving that thought aside, she changed topics. “Bellatrix’s idea of cute clothing was obviously very different from mine. Besides, that’s not a piece of cute clothing - ”

 

Bellatrix looked up at her with bright eyes, panting happily, and she _did_ look awfully cute in a vest, and those snake designs were a really nice touch -

 

_Damn, I hate it when Cissy’s right_.

 

Andromeda sighed. “We should get going. Are you coming, Cissy?”

 

Narcissa stiffened. “You know I can’t.”

 

“Right. I forgot you can’t be seen with me since I’m so shameful.”

 

Narcissa hissed a breath between her teeth. “No, I _can’t_ be seen with you. Do you have any idea how it would look? Of the conclusions that would be drawn?”

 

Andromeda turned toward the door. She stood straight and stiff, posture closing off. It was so easy sometimes - too easy, she thought - to fall back in their old relationship. Andromeda had no one to blame but herself for the sting of hurt she felt.

 

“Of course. You’re only here for Bellatrix.”

 

Narcissa studied her for a moment. “Yes,” she said slowly. “I’m only here for Bellatrix. But maybe after - ”

 

She didn’t finish, but Andromeda turned back to her, feeling _maybe after the war_ so deep in her bones that it didn’t matter they were left unsaid. Andromeda saw the moment that Narcissa could not hide from what she already knew: if Voldemort won, Andromeda would not submit, would not go quietly as her husband and daughter fought and died; there would be no _after the war_ for them, and Cissy looked at her like she were already a ghost.

 

Then the moment passed. Narcissa cleared her throat, composing herself, hiding behind a mask that had always made Mother _so_ proud.

 

“It’s too dangerous,” she said.

 

“Right,” Andromeda muttered, looking down at Bellatrix who had gone quiet and tense. She gave the leash a small shake. “Time to go.”

 

Sirius had already brought Andromeda’s bag to the front door. Mad Eye Moody broke off a whispered conversation with Remus and glared at Bellatrix, who silently bared her teeth in response. When Moody’s glare shifted from Bellatrix to Narcissa, a low rumbling growl started deep in Bella’s chest.

 

To her credit, Narcissa ignored him and attempted to diffuse the tension by focusing on the task at hand. “Do you have everything, Andromeda?”

 

Andromeda opened her mouth to respond, but stopped when Hermione froze at the bottom of the stairs, Crookshanks held in her arms, staring at Bellatrix with wide eyes. Bellatrix turned her head. She, too, froze at the sight of Hermione, her growling ceasing immediately.

 

Andromeda held the leash so tightly her knuckles turned white.

 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Remus’s eyes sweep over the assembled group.

 

“Alastor, why don’t we go down to the kitchen for a bite to eat while we talk?”

 

Moody eyed them suspiciously but limped after Remus who had not waited for a response.

 

Hermione swallowed. She held Crookshanks tighter to herself.

 

Bellatrix’s ears drooped. She took a step backward, bumping into Andromeda’s leg, as Fred, George, and Ginny came down the stairs behind Hermione and stopped.`

 

Fred peered at Bellatrix. “A vest? Shame. A collar would have been better blackmail material in the future.”

 

“No, no,” said George, “we can use this. Imagine it: we’re fighting on the field of battle, we’re all out of options, she’s about to kill us. We can tell her to let us go or that with our dying breaths, we’ll tell everyone about that time she wore a doggy vest. We’re saved!”

 

“I do like the way you think,” Fred said.

 

Hermione paled further. Sirius frowned. Andromeda and Narcissa pointedly did not look at each other nor at Bellatrix.

 

“This isn’t a joke,” Andromeda said, feeling her hands tremble. She lowered her eyes to Bellatrix, remembering the look in her eyes when she took Hermione down, the blood on her fangs.

 

Crookshanks slid from Hermione’s arms and landed with a thump on the floor. He rubbed against Bella, purring.

 

Andromeda started toward the door. “Let’s go, Bella.”

 

But Bella didn’t move. Andromeda tugged on the leash. Bellatrix shot her an annoyed look before turning her attention back to Crookshanks.

 

“Say goodbye to Crookshanks, and come on,” Andromeda said, and Bellatrix’s head shot up in alarm. “You’ll see him again in two days.” Bella whined. “He can’t come with us.”

 

Eyes wide with betrayal, Bellatrix flopped down on her side and refused to move.

 

Ginny, Fred and George snickered, though their eyes darted to Hermione after a moment. Hermione smiled shakily, though she still looked a little pale.

 

Narcissa, her attention fully on Bellatrix, hid a smile behind her hand.

 

“Bella, please,” Andromeda said, feeling exasperated and anxious.

 

Bellatrix lifted her head, stared at Andromeda, then dropped her head back to the floor.

 

“Bellatrix, get up. You’ll see your boyfriend again before you know it.” Andromeda shot Crookshanks a dirty look. Crookshanks ignored her.

 

Bellatrix sighed dramatically.

 

Exasperated, Andromeda pulled at the leash. Surely Bellatrix wouldn’t let herself be dragged across the floor -

 

Bellatrix grumbled as she was jerked along the floor but made no move to get up. Andromeda barely managed to contain her scream of frustration.

 

“Come on, get up,” Andromeda demanded.

 

Bellatrix looked her right in the eye as though daring her to make her move.

 

Andromeda wrapped her arms around Bellatrix’s body and attempted to haul her to her feet. Bellatrix went limp in her grasp. “Merlin, Bella, you’re so heavy.”

 

Bellatrix nipped at her fingers in retaliation.

 

Sirius watched Hermione. Crookshanks turned and headed back to Hermione, rubbing against her legs until she picked him up.

 

Andromeda let go of Bellatrix and rubbed at her back which felt sore after attempting to lift Bellatrix’s dead weight. “Cissy, she always listened to you better, could you - ?”

 

Narcissa stepped forward. “Bellatrix, stop this nonsense right now.”

 

Andromeda shivered, and she noticed Sirius’s jaw twitch. Narcissa sounded so much like Mother...

 

Bella jumped to her feet, snapping to attention. Narcissa took the leash from Andromeda. As she started toward the door, Bellatrix gave Crookshank and Hermione one last look, her tail down, ears and head drooping, then followed obediently after Narcissa.

 

Once they were out on the first step of Grimmauld Place, Narcissa handed Andromeda the leash and Disapparated. Andromeda frowned, disappointment gnawing at her. Bella whined.

 

“It’s alright, Bella,” Andromeda said. “Just wait until you see my house. You’re going to love it. Dumbledore, Dora, and Remus did something very special for you.”

 

She knelt beside Bellatrix, wrapped her arms firmly around her neck, and Disapparated.

 

 

They appeared in the forest a short distance from her home. Andromeda kept a tight grip on the leash in her hands. If Bellatrix wanted to get away, it would be a trivial matter for her to rip the leash from Andromeda’s hands or drag her along the ground until she was forced to let go, but the leash gave her comfort. There was no disguising Bellatrix as an ordinary dog, but if they were seen, perhaps any onlookers would not look too closely or else would assume her to be an exotic breed.

 

Mostly, Andromeda feared that Bellatrix would run away. She couldn’t lose her sister again.

 

Bellatrix strained against the leash, sniffing at everything, stopping and listening. Andromeda gave her as much room to explore as the leash allowed, but Bellatrix strained to reach further. She pulled hard against Andromeda.

 

Andromeda staggered from the force. Her foot caught a tree root. With a startled cry, she went sprawling, the leash flying from her hands. Bellatrix disappeared from her line of vision. Panic seized her.

 

“Bella?” she said, voice rising, and she scrambled to her hands and knees frantically. “Bella!”

 

And then Bellatrix was there at her side, nuzzling her and looking worried, and Andromeda felt the tightness in her chest loosen.

 

It was only then she realized just how afraid she had been, how convinced she was that Bellatrix would leave her, run away, _abandon her again_ even in this vulnerable state, the moment the first opportunity presented itself to her. Andromeda hugged Bella’s neck, buried her face in the soft fur, took deep shaky breaths.

 

Bellatrix stood still, leaning into her. She waited until Andromeda pulled away first before she moved. Andromeda scooped up the leash. Her leg was fine, and they continued toward the house.

 

Bellatrix stuck closer to Andromeda’s side, no longer pulling, seeming content to investigate what was right in front of them. When they crossed over the edge of her property, Andromeda noticed Bellatrix shiver and look around.

 

“It’s alright. Just some wards to keep you safe.”

 

They would also dissuade Bellatrix from leaving the property, which was quite large, and hide her from view of those outside it, allowing Andromeda to let her run free without worry.

 

She unclipped the leash. Bellatrix looked up at her, vibrating with energy. The front door opened and a voice called, “‘Dromeda?”

 

Andromeda smiled, feeling lighter than she had in a month. “Over here, Ted!” She looked back at Bellatrix, her good mood sinking. Despite the smile, she slipped her hand into her robe pocket and gripped her wand tightly.

 

Ted came around the side of the house. He stopped when he saw them. Bellatrix stared at him, tense and alert. After a moment, she growled at him but did not move. Ted crossed his arms. They sized each other up for a long moment while Andromeda’s stress grew, her body getting more and more tense.

 

“Go,” Andromeda snapped finally, taking a step toward Bellatrix. Bellatrix shied away from her, startled and alert. She stepped back, struggling to compose herself. “Go on,” she said more gently, “go explore.”

 

Bellatrix glanced from Andromeda to Ted and back again then huffed and trotted away in the opposite direction.

 

Relaxing, Andromeda strode over to Ted and kissed him. She smiled against his lips. “Hello, love. I’ve missed you.”

 

“It’s lonely here without you,” Ted admitted. “Dora comes around for dinner more, but it’s not the same.” He leaned sideways and looked around her. “So that’s her, huh? Bellatrix?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Quite a bit different than when I last saw her. Has she done something with her hair?”

 

Andromeda rolled her eyes and kissed his cheek. Looping her arm through his, she laced their fingers together. Bellatrix kept a wary eye on Ted while she explored, but otherwise the meeting was going much better than she had expected.

 

“You were supposed to wait inside the house,” Andromeda said, her tone a little accusatory. “I had already unclipped Bellatrix’s leash.”

 

Ted snorted. “Sorry, sorry,” he said, grinning, at her glare. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t wait to see you a second longer.” He kissed her. “Are you complaining?”

 

Andromeda leaned her head against his shoulder. “No,” she admitted and squeezed his hand.

 

They watched Bellatrix explore the grounds. She sniffed at some flowers and bushes and then, as if realizing she could, she took off, racing over the grass. Andromeda held her breath as Bellatrix neared the edge of the property, but she turned smoothly at the last minute, suddenly sprinting for the pond. Bellatrix leapt into it with reckless abandon.

 

Andromeda smiled, relaxing. The wards worked. She breathed a bit easier.

 

“She seems to be enjoying herself,” Ted said delicately.

 

Andromeda shifted. One the one hand, she was grateful that Bellatrix seemed to be improving now that she was away from Grimmauld Place. Still, she couldn’t help the nagging awful feeling that Bellatrix didn’t deserve to feel good about herself after what she had done earlier in the week.

 

“A Knut for your thoughts?” Ted said.

 

“It’s been a long week,” Andromeda said reluctantly.

 

“Oh?” Ted said lightly, but Andromeda heard the slight demand to explain in his tone.

 

She did, and he listened without interruption, though his face became more drawn and his jaw twitched.

 

“Please be careful,” Andromeda said. “She’s...” Not knowing how to continue, she trailed off helplessly. “Maybe she’ll be fine while she’s here. Grimmauld Place....I don’t think it’s good for her.”

 

“I’ll be careful.” Ted squeezed her hand. “But I don’t think she’s the only one that house isn’t good for.”

 

“No, it’s not. It’s getting to Sirius as well - ”

 

Ted gave her a look, and Andromeda sighed. “I’m fine.”

 

“Don’t lie to me, ‘Dromeda, please,” Ted said gently.

 

Andromeda watched Bellatrix climb out of the pond and shake herself, water spraying everywhere.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she murmured.

 

Ted squeezed her hand and didn’t push again.

 

 

Bellatrix was content to explore the gardens, and since Remus had thought to temporarily magic their front door to include a doggie door, Andromeda and Ted went inside, satisfied that she would be fine left alone.

 

Andromeda slammed the front door behind them, grabbed Ted by the front of his shirt, yanked him close and kissed him. She pulled away slightly. “Bed.”

 

They made their way to their bedroom, kissing and tugging at clothes. Andromeda pushed the bedroom door closed behind her. Ted grabbed her hips, holding her close, and she tugged at his shirt, pulling it up over his head. She tossed it aside and yanked off her own. Ted kissed down her neck, moving to her chest, as Andromeda sighed, head tilting back, running her hands up into his hair. As he unhooked her bra, she melted into his touch.

 

“Merlin, I missed you,” she whispered.

 

Ted kissed her sweetly.

 

Andromeda allowed Ted to slow everything down, to kiss her gently, to run his hands down her legs as he stripped her of her underwear, until she could not wait anymore. She tugged off the rest of his clothes and pushed him back until his knees hit the bed. Smirking, she shoved him down onto his back.

 

He grinned, scooted back until his head was on the pillows. His smile widened as she crawled up the bed to straddle him. Closing her eyes, she sank onto him with a moan. She ran her hands over his chest, rolled her hips, clenched around him. It had been too long.

 

Ted let out a strangled cry. “Bellatrix!”

 

Andromeda’s eyes snapped open. “ _What?_ ”

 

But Ted was propping himself up on one elbow, eyes wide and horrified, pointing at something behind her. “Bellatrix!”

 

Andromeda twisted. A black wolf was sniffing curiously at her vanity.

 

She shrieked, startling Bella. She yanked the blankets up around her and scrambled off Ted. “Bella, _do you mind?_ ”

 

Bellatrix lifted her head. Tilted it curiously. She padded over to the bed and jumped up.

 

“Get out!” Andromeda shoved Bellatrix off the bed. She leapt up, wrapping the blankets around herself.

 

“‘Dromeda, hey - !” Ted cried, snatching a pillow to cover himself.

 

Andromeda grabbed a fistful of Bellatrix’s fur and yanked her toward the door. Bellatrix yelped. She scampered out of the room and shot Andromeda an indignant glare. Andromeda flipped her off and slammed the door. Only after triple checking the door was latched and locked did she return to bed.

 

“Well, that was mortifying,” Ted mumbled. He sighed. “I suppose that ruined the mood, didn’t - oh.”

 

Andromeda smirked.

 

Paws pattered up and down the hallway outside and then finally trudged down the stairs.

 

“Perhaps Narcissa could - ”

 

Ted’s mouth snapped close at the heated glare Andromeda fixed him with.

 

“Ted, I swear to Merlin, if you say my sisters’ names one more time while we’re doing this _I will end you_.”

 

“Sorry, ‘Dromeda,” he said sheepishly.

 

Andromeda straddled him again and leaned over him so their faces were only inches apart. “Now where were we?”

 

 

The rest of the day passed without incident. Andromeda spent the afternoon curled up in bed with Ted. Occasionally she got up and looked out the window to check on Bellatrix (and contemplate turning her into a nice fur coat). Bellatrix spent most of the afternoon lazing in a flower bed to Andromeda’s dismay. But then her lips twitched upwards into a smile against her will at the thought of Bellatrix enjoying the flowers so much and at how relaxed her sister seemed - far more than she had ever been at Grimmauld Place.

 

Though she understood Dumbledore’s reasoning, she hated Grimmauld Place. She and Sirius may laugh at Lucius Malfoy’s decadence and, frankly, atrocious tastes - peacocks, sweet Merlin, what was the man thinking - but Malfoy Manor sounded far more welcoming and inviting than any of the Black family homes ever had. It had been a terrible environment growing up, and it clearly did neither Sirius nor Bellatrix - nor herself - any favors now.

 

When she and Ted finally went downstairs for dinner, Bellatrix came in part way through, sniffing the air. She stopped in the doorway, eyeing Ted. Andromeda wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek. Bellatrix watched them for a few minutes before she lay down and waited for Andromeda to bring her something to eat. Andromeda placed the plate on the floor in front of Bellatrix. Bellatrix stared at Ted for a moment as he sat down at the table. She snatched up the steak and ran outside, the doggie door flapping behind her.

 

Andromeda frowned. Still, it was going better than she expected.

 

Bellatrix came back in an hour later, and hung out in a corner while Andromeda and Ted cuddled on the couch. When it came time for Andromeda to retire for the night, she paused at the bottom of the steps and watched Bellatrix to see what she would do. Bellatrix looked between her and the front door.

 

“What’s wrong, ‘Dromeda?” Ted asked softly.

 

Bellatrix growled a little and slipped clumsily through the doggy door.

 

“I wanted to see... Do you think she’ll be alright?”

 

“She’s been living in a forest for, what? Fourteen years? I imagine it’s what she’s most comfortable with, actually.”

 

That sparked an idea. Andromeda smiled at him. “Thank you, Ted.” She kissed his cheek.

 

 

Rain drummed against the roof and the windows of Malfoy manor. A fire crackled and popped in the drawing room fireplace. Narcissa lounged in a wingback chair, watching the shadows flicker on the walls, a glass of wine in her hand. The bottle rested on the table beside her. The manor was still and silent - so much so, she could hear the _tick-tock_ of the old grandfather clock in the entry hall, and the sound Pinky’s feet padding along the carpeting in the hall outside. Lucius had left on business the night before and Draco was sleeping over at the Zabini’s mansion.

 

Which left Narcissa alone until tomorrow night. It would have been a perfect time to visit Bellatrix if Bellatrix were still at Grimmauld Place. It was tiring work needing to keep such strict track of Lucius’s schedule. Even worse, she had to encourage Draco to spend more time away from home this summer. She had such precious little time with him these past few years, and she hated having to spend what little time she did have away from him.

 

The drawing room door creaked open. “Miss Cissy? Pinky begs your pardon...”

 

“What is it, Pinky?” Narcissa asked kindly.

 

Pinky wrung the corner of her old pillowcase in her tiny hands. “I...I know I is not supposed to be speaking of Miss Bella when Master and young master Draco is home, but seeing as they is not here, Pinky is wondering if I might ask...”

 

Pinky trailed off, seeming to lose her nerve. Narcissa waited a moment to see if she would continue, but when she did not, she said, “Bellatrix is...doing well. As well as to be expected, under the circumstances.”

 

“If that is the case - not that Pinky is questioning you, Mistress, of course not! Pinky is only - only wondering, Mistress, why Mistress is here and not with - not with Miss Bella as she usually is.” Pinky wrung the corner of her pillowcase so frantically that Narcissa heard it tear. She let go of the pillow case as if burned, switching to pulling at her ears.

 

“Pinky,” Narcissa said calmly, “I am not angry. I know how much you worry for Bellatrix.”

 

Pinky stared up at Narcissa with wide eyes - well, wider than usual.

 

“Still,” Narcissa added delicately, “I must remind you that it is not your place to question me so.” At the stricken look on Pinky’s face, she rephrased. “You may ask about Bellatrix, however. That will always been allowed - provided we are alone, of course, as you already know.”

 

Pinky nodded so furiously, her ears flapped wildly.

 

Narcissa took a few long sips of her wine and then refilled her glass. She was starting to lose track of how much she had drunk. She felt pleasantly warm and fuzzy. Looking at Pinky, thinking of Bellatrix, she remembered Andromeda’s question: _“What if Bellatrix told her to lie to you?”_

 

The idea was preposterous. Bellatrix would never have told Pinky to lie to her about something as important as that. What would Bellatrix have had to gain from it? Narcissa was adept at keeping secrets and hiding things from Aurors and the Ministry. Bellatrix knew that. Bellatrix trusted her.

 

“Pinky...” Narcissa started and then stopped. Pinky watched her, leaning forward slightly in anticipation. After a moment, she asked instead, “Do you... The night Bellatrix was...” She cleared her throat. “You said you didn’t find Bellatrix that night she disappeared. Is there anything you can think of that would explain how she survived? She was so badly wounded...”

 

Narcissa shivered at the memories. Pinky’s eyes were wide and watery, and her lip trembled. Her expression was absolutely miserable and wretched, and Narcissa took another long sip of wine to steady her nerves.

 

“No, Mistress. Pinky has gone over that night so many times but Pinky is unable to remember anything, Mistress.” Pinky sniffed and wiped her nose on the corner of her pillowcase.

 

_She’s lying,_ Narcissa thought. Pinky knew something. Had seen something - or thought she had, and she was scared to admit it. Perhaps she was doubtful of what she had seen, and it was that which mean she could tell Narcissa something that was not true.

 

_She can lie because you did not order her to tell you the truth,_ whispered a voice in the back of her head. She ignored it, finished her glass of wine, and poured herself another.

 

She did not order Pinky to tell her the truth and tried to pretend that she was not scared of what the answer might be.

 

Instead, she stood up suddenly. Pinky flinched. Narcissa grabbed the battle of wine and her glass and strode out of the room.

 

In the North Wing, there was a room that was hardly ever used. Narcissa had claimed it years ago as a storage room for Bellatrix's things she had collected from Lestrange Manor, and later she had added Draco's old childhood things to it. Opening the door, she flicked her wand and lit the lamps on the wall. She frowned at the disorganized clutter of the room. She had always intended to go through and organize everything, but the room had been too painful for too long for her to do so, and she did not wish to ask Pinky to do it.

 

The room had been an old study that Narcissa had taken over, and she went over to the desk on which Bellatrix's wand was kept safely in a box. Above the old oak desk hung the mobile that Bellatrix had bought Draco when he was young. Blinking back tears, she tapped the mobile with her wand. The lights lit up, twinkling, and the miniature dragons shook themselves awake and began to fly among the lights - among the stars. A few stars were brighter than the others, something Narcissa had caught onto much later after Bellatrix had left, and she had spent too many nights cradling Draco close and staring at the mobile. They formed the Draco constellation, and Narcissa had kicked herself for not catching onto it sooner.

 

As the mobile spun and played its soothing tune, she began rummaging through the trucks on the floor beside the desk. Pulling one open, she saw Bellatrix's old clothes: several Slytherin ties, a few old robes, some corsets. Would these things help Bellatrix remember herself? Did they mean enough? Her throat closed up. If she and Andromeda did not help Bellatrix remember herself, how could any of her old things help?

 

She blinked back against the tears stinging her eyes. No, Bellatrix's old things would not help her remember anything. Blinking again, she turned to the mobile. No. Bellatrix's old things wouldn't help her remember herself, but maybe...

 

She stood up, a hand hovering near the mobile. Delicately, she reached out and stroked a finger tip down the back of one of the dragon's spines. It shivered, let out a small puff of smoke from its nostrils and kept flying.

 

She moved to another trunk, this time of Draco's old things. He had long ago outgrown stuffed animals, but a few of them Narcissa had not been able to bring herself to allow him to throw away. One such animal, she fished out of the trunk. She took another sip from her glass.

 

The stuffed black wolf in her hand was well-loved. Draco had held on it longer than his other stuffed animals, but in the end he had outgrown it too. Once he started Hogwarts, he felt he was too old to keep it, and he couldn't remember Bellatrix anymore. The idea that it was the last gift she had ever given him didn't hold enough sway to teenage peer pressure, and he didn't want it in his room for friends to see over the summer holidays. Shame-faced, he had presented it to her after his first year at Hogwarts.

 

"I thought...I mean, I'm too old for it now, but I thought, maybe, you might..."

 

Narcissa had smoothed his hair and smiled lovingly, and taken the stuffed wolf from him with understanding. She had held onto it, unable to bring herself to throw away anything of Bellatrix's, and just in case he had ever wanted it back. Perhaps one day it could be passed on to a grandchild.

 

Brushing a thumb over the soft fur of the stuffed wolf, she smiled and shook her head. She had not understood what had spurred Bellatrix into buying Draco this present nor why she had had a mischievous, smug smirk playing on her lips when she presented it to him. She must have succeeded in her Animagus transformation shortly before seeing it.

 

Why hadn't Bellatrix told her? Such an impressive feat, and yet Bellatrix had kept it hidden. Why?

 

Narcissa poured the last of the bottle into her glass and summoned Pinky, who popped into the room a second later.

 

"What can Pinky be doing for Mistress?"

 

"Another bottle of wine from the cellar, please. Perhaps something a little stronger?"

 

Pinky eyed the empty bottle in Narcissa's hand doubtfully. "Is Mistress feeling alright? Is there anything Pinky can do?"

 

"Following my orders would be a start," Narcissa said cooly. Pinky's eyes widened, and with a crack, she disappeared.

 

Narcissa closed her eyes against the tears stinging them. She clutched the stuffed wolf to her chest. This whole situation was awful. She hated lying to Lucius and Draco. She hated being forced to stay away from Bellatrix. She sat down on the floor, back against the desk and knees tucked up to her chest, clutching the stuffed wolf and crying.

 

 

Andromeda did not sleep well that night. Ted was warm and comforting at her back, but she had gotten used to having Bellatrix sprawled out somewhere along the bed over the past month, and not having her there made sleep elusive. The steady drum of rain against the window did not help, and she listened closely for the sound of the dog flap signaling Bellatrix had decided to take shelter from the rain inside.

 

But she heard nothing, and after a while she gave up trying to sleep. Carefully, she moved Ted’s arm from around her waist and climbed out of bed. She tiptoed over to the window: the sky was dark and the rain smudged her view of the world outside, making it difficult to see even with the garden lamps illuminating large sections of the yard. Biting her lip, she scanned the yard for any sign of Bellatrix.

 

Nothing.

 

She tapped her fingers against her thigh, worrying her lip between her teeth. Careful not to disturb Ted, she plucked her wand off her nightstand and slipped out of the room.

 

The grass was slick and wet under her bare feet as she wandered the garden, wand held in front of her to light her path.

 

"Bellatrix?" she called.

 

Something wet brushed her hand.

 

Andromeda jumped, clapping a hand over her mouth to muffle her shriek. Bellatrix shied away from her.

 

"Merlin, Bella, you can't do that." Andromeda clutched her chest. Her heart pounded wildly in her ribs. "You almost gave me a heart attack." She held her wand up, light spilling over Bellatrix. "Oh, look at you. You're completely soaked! Come on, come inside - "

 

She froze. The light illuminated the silhouette of someone standing a few feet behind Bellatrix. Snapping her wand up, a curse died on the tip of her tongue as she suddenly recognized the intruder.

 

" _Cissy?_ "

 

Narcissa shivered. She looked completely soaked through, her eyes were red and puffy, and her blonde and black hair was plastered to her face and shoulders. She looked terrible, like someone had just tried to drown her in the pond only a few feet away.

 

"Hello, Andy," Narcissa said, and her was uncharacteristically quiet.

 

"What are you _doing_ here?" Andromeda stepped around Bellatrix and closed the distance between them in two swift strides. She cupped Narcissa's face in her hands and then dropped them to her shoulders, ran them down her arms, and took her hands. "What's wrong? Did something happen? How did you find me?"

 

"I couldn't sleep," Narcissa said. Her eyes were watery. "Draco is on a trip with some friends, and Lucius is away on business..."

 

Confused, Andromeda asked, "Business-business or...?"

 

Narcissa glared at her, her eyes clearing slightly. " _Business_ -business. He has several perfectly legitimate business interests, not that it's any of _yours_."

 

"I'm sorry, Cissy," Andromeda said. It was a legitimate question, in her opinion, but she had broken their unspoken understanding, the one thing that held this fragile peace together, and she did feel a twinge of guilt at that. Especially when her little sister looked so awful.

 

Narcissa looked down. Bellatrix nudged her, and Narcissa placed a hand on Bellatrix's back. "I couldn't sleep. The manor is empty, and I was worried about Bella and..."

 

"How did you get here? You can't have Apparated, I never told you where I live, you wouldn't be able to visualize..." Andromeda trailed off.

 

Narcissa pointed to one of the trees on the edge of the property. Andromeda squinted, but she couldn't see anything in the dark and rain.

 

"I followed my owl," Narcissa said.

 

"You followed..." Andromeda's eyes widened. "You _flew_ here? What the hell were you thinking? You could have been seen - "

 

"I Disillusioned myself." Narcissa sniffed, shooting her a disdainful look. "I'm not a simpleton."

 

"I didn't say - But that was still incredibly dangerous! You just told me this morning you couldn't be seen with me - " Andromeda peered closer at Narcissa. "Cissy, this isn't like you. What's going on? Are you alright?"

 

Narcissa laughed, high and strained. "You wouldn't know the first thing about what is or isn't like me to do."

 

"I'm not doing this, Cissy." Andromeda turned toward the house.

 

Narcissa scoffed. "Of course not. Go on, leave. It's what you always - "

 

Andromeda spun around and stormed back, stopping when they were separated only by inches. Eyes wide, Narcissa took a step back, but Andromeda caught a whiff of the alcohol on her breath and felt her anger snuffed out.

 

"You're right. I left. I left you and Bella. I chose Ted and my daughter over the both you. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Andromeda asked, exhausted. "Just like you chose Lucius over me, and Bella chose you and...and You-Know-Who over me. Now, I'm going to go back inside. It's your choice whether you come with me or not."

 

Narcissa stared at her with wide, watery eyes. After a moment, she looked at Bellatrix and said softly, "Come on."

 

Andromeda lead Narcissa to the front door, and Bellatrix followed obediently at Narcissa's side. A twinge of jealousy shot through Andromeda at how easily Bellatrix responded to Narcissa. Even when they were younger, Bellatrix had been closer to Narcissa than to her, and while it hadn't bothered her all that much then, it reminded her now of how much distance there was between them.

 

Once Bellatrix trotted in after them, Andromeda closed the door and turned around - only to sputter as water smacked her in the face.

 

"Bellatrix!" she hissed.

 

Bellatrix finished shaking herself off and looked up at Andromeda, unimpressed. Narcissa, already soaked, only giggled.

 

"Don't encourage her, Cissy! And why in the world didn't you cast a spell to keep you dry? You're shivering!"

 

Narcissa shrugged one shoulder slightly. She shivered again.

 

Andromeda sighed. With a wave of her wand, she dried Narcissa's robes and Bellatrix's fur.

She gestured for Narcissa to sit on the couch. "Tell me what's wrong." She waved her wand and conjured another couch opposite Narcissa, a frosted glass coffee table between them.

Narcissa raised her eyebrows. "What makes you think anything's wrong?"

 

"You've been drinking - "

 

"I am not drunk," Narcissa hissed.

 

"I didn't say you were." Andromeda paused. "But you did think it was a good idea to fly here in the middle of the night in the rain, and you didn't even use any charms to keep yourself warm or dry."

 

Narcissa lowered her eyes to Bellatrix settled by her feet. "I couldn't sleep. I had to make sure Bellatrix was okay."

 

"You could have sent an owl."

 

"It could have been intercepted."

 

Narcissa dropped her eyes to her lap, her hands resting there, one on top of the other, and Bellatrix sat up (bumping into the coffee table and making it rattle dangerously, and Andromeda was silently thankful she had thought to reinforce it with charms) and rested her head on Narcissa's lap without a sound.

 

Andromeda studied Narcissa. It was a flimsy excuse, and Andromeda was a bit disappointed her sister couldn't come up with a better lie, but she decided not to push it any further. Not tonight.

 

"Let me get you some blankets," Andromeda said, standing up. "You can sleep on the couch."

 

"I could go home," Narcissa said.

 

"With the questionable judgement you've shown tonight? Absolutely not."

 

Narcissa rolled her eyes but made no move to get up. Instead, she placed a gentle hand on Bella's head and stroked her fingers through Bella's fur.

 

Andromeda crept upstairs and gathered some blankets and a pillow from the guest bedroom. On her way back down the stairs, she stopped, hearing sniffling and a whispered voice.

 

"I don't know what I'm doing, Bella." Narcissa.

 

Andromeda snuck halfway down the stairs and sat, watching Narcissa in the darkness. Narcissa pressed her forehead against Bella's, her eyes closed.

 

"I can't...I'm lying to Lucius and Draco all the time. I have to keep pushing them away. Andy wouldn't understand. You're the only one..." Narcissa pulled back and smiled sadly. "I was so happy, Bella. I thought I had a chance to get my sister back, but...that connection you're forming with that - with that mudblood girl - " Bellatrix growled a little, and Narcissa's face screwed up in pain, tears dripping down her cheeks. "I'm losing you too...aren't I?"

 

Andromeda stood up and continued down the stairs, having heard enough. Narcissa looked up, startled. Panicked.

 

Andromeda crouched beside Bella, taking hold on Narcissa's hand. She met Narcissa's wide, teary gaze.

 

She spoke softly. "You think I wouldn't understand having loved ones on opposite sides of a war?"

 

Narcissa looked away, ashamed.

 

They were both silent for a long time. Then Andromeda stood.

 

"Let me get the couches set up. Then let's get some sleep. We can talk more in the morning."

 

Narcissa moved to stand off to the side. Attempting to regain her composure, she asked a little haughtily, "What? No guest bedrooms? You force guests to sleep on the couch?"

 

With a few waves of her wand, Andromeda pressed the coffee table against the wall and pushed the couches together, cushion to cushion. She smirked. "The guest bedroom is for _guests_ \- not crazy people who creep around the yard in the middle of the night. _Those_ people sleep on the couch."

 

Bellatrix eyed the couch, and Andromeda muttered a spell to temporarily freeze them in place. She didn't want to risk Bellatrix pushing the couches apart and dumping Narcissa on the floor while she slept.

 

Narcissa rolled her eyes at Andromeda. "Let a lot of crazy people sleep on your couch?"

 

"Just the one."

 

Sighing, Narcissa climbed onto the couch. She reached out for the pillow and blanket. Andromeda placed the pillow against an arm rest and pushed Narcissa to lay down.

 

"Andy, I'm not a child, you don't have to - "

 

"Hush now, baby sister." Andromeda grinned as she tossed the blanket over Narcissa and tucked her in. "Time for bed. I don't want to hear any talking, and if I see lights on down here, I'm going to be very disappointed in you."

 

"Shut up, Andy."

 

Bellatrix jumped up onto the couches beside Narcissa and stretched out alongside her. Narcissa's eyes widened in surprise. Andromeda took advantage of the distraction to slip upstairs. She paused halfway up, glancing back. In the moonlight, she saw Bellatrix pressed against Narcissa, and Narcissa draped an arm over Bellatrix's side, burying her face in Bellatrix's fur.

 

Her lips quirked up slightly, and, satisfied they would both be fine for the night, she went back to bed.

 

 

Narcissa slept fitfully that night despite Bellatrix's best attempts to soothe her. Every time Cissy twitched or whimpered in her sleep, Bella pressed closer to her, rested her head on Cissy's chest, nuzzled gently at her sides and face. Cissy would quiet after a moment or two, but it didn't last long.

 

The sun had barely risen when Cissy woke. She rolled onto her back. Bella shifted to lay her head on Cissy's chest, and Cissy loosely held her, one hand resting on her back, the other absently stroking the top of her head. Bella watched quietly as Cissy stared at the ceiling, unsure what more to do, uncertain whether distracting Cissy from her thoughts would be welcomed.

 

Minutes dragged by in silence. Cissy tightened her grip on Bella.

 

"I hate lying to Lucius about this. Sneaking around my own home," Cissy whispered. "No place feels safe anymore."

 

Bella nuzzled Cissy's cheek, hoping to convey that she understood. The forest might not have been safe, but she had had her pack and knew what was expected of her, knew where she stood with her pack, on the food chain, in the forest. The rules were different here, and everyone wanted something from her, but she didn't understand what.

 

Cissy sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be complaining. Not to you. I can't imagine my troubles seem like much to you."

 

Bella licked Cissy's cheek. She wanted to hear about Cissy's troubles. She wanted to help. It felt familiar, grounding somehow.

 

But Cissy continued staring at the ceiling. Bellatrix didn't know what to do to make her understand.

 

A muffled moan from upstairs reached Bellatrix's ears, and Cissy made a face.

 

"I do _not_ want to hear this," she grumbled. She pushed Bella off of her and climbed off the makeshift bed. Bella slid to the floor after her.

 

She nudged Cissy's hand and then slipped through the doggie door. It only took a minute for Narcissa to follow her, opening and closing the door carefully, and Bellatrix trotted about the garden and rolled around in the dew-soaked grass. Cissy perched on the edge of a low garden wall and watched her, her hands folded primly in her lap.

 

Bellatrix snorted. Oh, no. That wouldn't do at all. She trotted up to Cissy and play-bowed.

 

"What is it, Bella?" Cissy asked.

 

Bellatrix huffed. Of course Cissy didn't understand. No one understood. Except for Sirius. And he rarely wanted to play, especially not in that awful house. She thought about tackling Cissy off the garden wall. Then she decided that she would rather not face Cissy's wrath. If Cissy was determined to remain in a foul mood, there was nothing Bellatrix could do about it for now.

 

She lay down in the grass with a whine. All of her excitement drained away. There was a forest she could not reach, no one to play with, Andy was busy with her mate, and Cissy had it in her mind to be upset.

 

"Bella?" Cissy asked.

 

Bellatrix looked up listlessly.

 

"Bella, are you okay?" Cissy watched her with concern.

 

Bellatrix forced her ears to perk up and her tongue to loll out. Cissy was watching. She was already upset enough, and Bellatrix was determined not to upset her further. Something about it seemed right, seemed familiar, pushing her feelings down, putting up an outer mask. It did not feel good. It was not something she wanted to be doing, it was not something she had ever done with her pack. Rather, it felt like a long forgotten duty.

 

She wished her pack were here. She never had to pretend with them.

 

Sometime later, after the sun had climbed higher in the sky, Andy joined them outside. Bellatrix went to drink from the pond, ears pointed back to listen as they exchanged awkward small talk about how they slept and the beauty of the flowers in the garden.

 

"I'm curious what happened to this section here - " Narcissa pointed at a flower bed that was destroyed. Petals ripped off flowers, stems broken and bent.

 

Andromeda chuckled. "Bellatrix happened. She likes those ones best, it seems."

 

Then, after a small pause, Andromeda said, "I want to redecorate Grimmauld Place."

 

"Oh? Have you spoken to Sirius about this?"

 

"No. I don't see him caring what we do with it."

 

"We?"

 

"I want to start with Bella's room," Andromeda said. When Bella glanced back, Andy was brushing her hair behind her ear, a nervous gesture that Bellatrix recognized - somehow, for she could not remember when she had seen Andy make this gesture before.

 

"That house isn't good for her. It's not for Sirius, and it isn't for me."

 

Bellatrix walked back over to them and flopped down at their feet. Andy smiled, knelt down and scratched at Bellatrix's ears.

 

"The house stresses her. She's so much more relaxed here, but it's too dangerous for her to stay..."

 

Narcissa hummed thoughtfully. "What did you have in mind?"

 

"A forest. Or, rather, a forest theme."

 

Bellatrix's ears perked up.

 

Narcissa eyebrows rose. "A forest would be a complex and difficult bit of magic, but doable. Would that be good for Bellatrix's mental state?"

 

"I'm not sure. But a forest _theme_ might achieve the same effect without worsening her condition."

 

They started discussing the details of the room, the logistics of acquiring the materials and getting them into Grimmauld Place discreetly, and Bellatrix tuned them out. She sensed they would be returning to Grimmauld Place soon, and she didn't want to waste a second of her remaining freedom.


	17. Alone

****When they returned to Grimmauld Place, Bellatrix's mood instantly soured, but she tried hard to keep her ears and tail up, not wanting to sadden Cissy and Andy.

 

“I can’t believe I’m wearing this,” Cissy groused, tugging at the faded t-shirt and jeans Andy had loaned her.

 

“You blend in better with the ‘muggle trash’ around here, as Mother used to say,” Andy said. “And don’t complain. This is your fault. You can’t come here in robes, it’d draw too much attention.”

 

“Let me change back into my robes, then you can have these awful clothes back - ”

 

“You can keep them. You still have to get back home. Besides, you need some more casual clothes. Everything you own is much too nice for a neighborhood like this.”

 

As they entered the kitchen, Andromeda sighed exasperatedly to the crowd gathered at the dinner table, "She still hates Ted, it seems."

 

Bella snorted. She didn't hate Andy's mate, she just - well, she didn't like him at all, and she was sure there were perfectly good reasons for how she felt. She just didn't know what they were yet.

 

Cissy sniffed. "Good. It seems our sister still retains _some_ sense."

 

_Validation!_ Bellatrix glanced at Andy smugly. Even Cissy agreed with her.

 

But Bellatrix turned her attention back to the table almost immediately. There were always new smells in the manor from all the people coming and going, scents clinging to their clothes and shoes, and so Bella had given little thought to the new smells as she and sisters had moved through the house, but now she saw a boy sitting there she did not recognize. He was skinny with messy black hair and bright green eyes, and he wore round glasses. He smelled of dirt and sweat and cleaning supplies. His face was frozen in an expression of shock and a hint of outrage, his eyes following Cissy's every move as she sat down in an empty chair near Sirius's end of the table.

 

Andy sat next to Cissy, between her and Sirius. Bellatrix wished Andy and Cissy would switch places and put more space between the boy and Cissy, but neither of them seemed to give him much thought.

 

No, that wasn't true. Cissy kept her gaze pointedly away from that end of the table, but there was a slight tension in her body that had not been there before. She was very aware of the boy but did not want him to know. Bellatrix wondered why.

 

As Andy glared at Cissy, continuing their argument and retorting, "Ted is a good man," and then grumbling something about making Cissy sleep outside next time (which Bellatrix did not see a problem with at all), Bella turned her attention to the delicious smelling food Molly placed on the table.

 

Bella squeezed between Cissy and Andy's chair and placed her paws on the table, trying to get a better look. Catching a whiff of musty books, parchment, and cat, she knew Hermione was sitting somewhere further down the table, near the strange boy, and her stomach lurched. Guilt flooded back. She wanted to hide under her bed again. But the boy was still staring at Cissy, and Bella couldn't leave until she properly assessed whatever threat he posed.

 

Molly swatted at Bella's nose, glaring at her sternly.

 

"Bellatrix Lestrange, you get your paws off the table, how many times do I have to tell you - "

 

Bella ducked her snout under Molly's arm and snatched a turkey leg off a plate. She quickly dropped her paws to the floor and began gnawing on her prize.

 

"Ugh, that creature, I _swear_ \- "

 

"I'll kindly thank you not to talk about my sister like she's some kind of animal," Cissy said coldly.

 

"Cissy," Andy groaned, pleading.

 

"Well, _Cissy_ ," Sirius began helpfully, a smirk tugging at his lips, "at the moment, your sister _is_ a - "

 

"Not another word out of you, Sirius," Cissy snapped.

 

Sirius's eyes sparkled mischievously. He stage whispered to Andy, "This is why _you're_ my favorite cousin."

 

Bella lifted her head as she swallowed a bite of turkey, watching the strange boy. He watched the scene open-mouthed. Ginny leaned back around Ron and punched his arm. Bella approved.

 

The boy jumped, turning to face her. "Ginny, what - ?"

 

"See? You're not dreaming." Ginny smirked. "But if it makes you feel any better, I still can't believe it's real sometimes too."

 

Bella approved less of Ginny's apparent affection for the boy. All the Weasleys seemed fond of him from the looks they sent. Hermione gave him a hesitant smile. It struck Bellatrix as a submissive gesture, meant to placate. She flattened her ears and pulled her lips back in distaste. Something about this boy made Hermione uneasy, and Bellatrix didn't like that one bit.

 

The boy looked around the table, still in shock. His gaze landed on Cissy again, and Bella stood up, feeling the tension building, a fight brewing.

 

"Sirius, what is a Malfoy doing here?" the boy growled. He turned to Sirius for answers. Bella shifted, unsure. Was this boy pack as well? "Her husband is a Death Eater, he was there when Voldemort came back."

 

Cissy flinched at the name, and Bellatrix growled, cutting her off, and she blanched. Bellatrix felt a twinge of guilt, but she stood firmly between Cissy, still seated in her chair, and the boy who glared at her with hatred. She would not let this boy harm her sister.

 

A hand rested between her shoulder blades. "Really, Bella," Cissy said, "I can handle myself. Especially against an ignorant child."

 

" _I_ _gnorant?_ " Harry snarled at the same time Sirius snapped, "That's enough, Narcissa."

 

Bellatrix chanced a glance up at Cissy, who scratched lightly at Bella's shoulders. She kept her eyes on the boy, but she was not afraid. Bellatrix stopped growling. She would defer to Cissy.

 

"Mr Potter, please control yourself. You are acting like a spoiled child."

 

"He's acting," Remus said, cutting through the angry shouts rising from around the table, "like someone who has witnessed a great deal. Harry, Narcissa is here to help with her sister's rehabilitation. Dumbledore believes - "

 

"What, that she's on our side?" Potter snapped.

 

Cissy scoffed. "Nothing nearly so foolish. I was under the impression that my dear cousin would be informing you of the details."

 

"I did." Sirius frowned. "I explained this morning what Dumbledore intends."

 

"I guess I just didn't realize the _Malfoys_ were allowed to stroll around Headquarters."

 

Cissy leaned forward. "Would you keep me from my sister, Potter?" Her fingers curled in Bella's fur. "Would you chain her like an animal? Would you kill her?"

 

Potter faltered ever so slightly, though his anger was undiminished. "I don't go around killing people I don't like. I'm not like you - or her. I don't like torturing people either." He shot Bellatrix a heated look, like there was something that Bellatrix was supposed to be understanding but she did not. Cissy stiffened beside her, and Andromeda sat up straighter. Sirius stared hard at Potter.

 

"Then what would you do, Potter?" Cissy asked, folding her hands on top of the table, watching him as though she cared for nothing more than to hear what Potter had to stay. "I'm eager to hear about how a child knows better than the adults around him."

 

"Enough," Andy snapped. "Sit down, Potter, and eat your dinner. Narcissa, stop antagonizing a teenager."

 

Cissy shot Andy a glare out of the corner of her eye. "If Potter insults my family, I will defend them."

 

Everyone was tense for a long moment. Potter made no move to sit.

 

Hermione pushed her chair away from the table, drawing everyone's attention. "Excuse me, I just remembered I need to write my parents about..." She didn't finish the excuse, not looking anyone in the eye, and hurried out of the kitchen.

 

Bellatrix whined. Taking a step forward, ears drooping, she watched the door swing closed.

 

"Nice going, Harry," Ginny muttered. She stood up, stopped halfway to the door and turned to face Bellatrix. "Well? You coming?"

 

Molly started to rise from her seat. "Ginny, dear, no, it's not safe for - "

 

"She will be fine," Cissy said firmly. Then, almost challenging, "Won't she, Andy?"

 

Andy met Bella's gaze. This was a test - of Andy's trust in her, of her trust in Cissy. Bellatrix licked her chops nervously, her tail tucking between her legs.

 

Finally, Andy nodded. "She'll be alright, Molly. Bellatrix was fine with Ted this weekend. No incidents." She added to Ginny, "Just don't wake the portraits."

 

"What are you talking about? What kind of incidents? What happened?" Bellatrix heard Potter demand over Molly fighting with Cissy and Andy as she followed Ginny out of the kitchen.

 

They found Hermione in the room she shared with Ginny. Crookshanks lay on the corner of the bed nearest the door. Ginny went inside first, and Bellatrix paused outside the door, leaning forward but unable to cross the threshold until Ginny coaxed her forward by patting her thigh and making a kissing noise. Annoyed, Bellatrix padded quietly into the room. The carpeting, threadbare though it was, covered the sound of her footsteps, but Hermione noticed her immediately, her curious and bemused gaze at Ginny changing instantly. She paled, her whole body tensing, eyes wide. Ready to flee. Just like that night.

 

Bella dropped her head lower with a soft whine. She still could not remember, especially now, why she had found Hermione's prey response so enticing, so gratifying. Now she just felt sick.

 

Crookshanks stared her down with hard eyes. He growled, tail swishing back and forth, slow and dangerous. He had avoided her except for the day she had left, when he had not been angry with her, but it seemed that he was furious again now that she was back.

 

Bella whined. She dropped her head low, almost to the carpet, and tucked her tail between her legs. Keeping her eyes on Crookshanks, she took one step forward.

 

Crookshanks growled again, louder this time, bordering on a yowl, though he made no move to get up. His tail lashed against the bed. Bellatrix laid down, head resting on the carpet between her paws.

 

Ginny laughed softly in disbelief. "I can't believe this. Do you think Crookshanks can make _all_ Death Eaters cower like this or does it only work on Bellatrix?"

 

Hermione did not answer. Her body lost some of its tension, though, muscles relaxing as Bellatrix prostrated herself before Crookshanks.  When she did not make a move to approach further, Crookshanks calmed the thrashing of his tail and his growls lowered in volume, but still he was not appeased.

 

Bellatrix rolled over onto her back. It was the only other thing she knew to do. If he did not accept her submission, she did not know what she would do. To have ruined her friendship with Hermione was one thing; to have destroyed her pack standing with Crookshanks was unthinkable.

 

Crookshanks sat in judgement for long moment, the seconds ticking by with agonizing slowness. Bella kept her eyes averted. She whined.

 

Finally, Crookshanks was silent. His tail stopped its swishing and curled around him. Crookshanks shifted, relaxing and settling into the bed.

 

Bella rolled over onto her stomach. She did not dare move from her spot. Crookshanks had forgiven her, but Hermione had yet to. Bellatrix lay flat on the ground and stared up at Hermione with mournful eyes.

 

Hermione looked from her to Crookshanks several times, her body relaxing with each second that passed where Crookshanks remained calm. When Crookshanks started to purr, she relaxed completely, looking hesitant but at ease.

 

She turned to Ginny. "What are you doing up here?"

 

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I came to check on you obviously. I'm sorry about Harry. He's being a prat."

 

"No, he's...he has every right to be angry," Hermione said. "And he's right about Mrs Malfoy, and - "

 

"And he's being a prat about it." Ginny sat on the bed beside Hermione.

 

Hermione laughed, eyes watery. "Yes, he is. We tried. We didn't want to keep things from him. I wish he wouldn't bite our heads off. Dumbledore has to have a good reason for not wanting us to tell Harry anything, and I'm sure he has good reasons for Bellatrix and Mrs Malfoy too..."

 

Bellatrix whined and shifted slightly. She didn't dare move from her spot, however. Hermione had deferred to Crookshanks's judgement in allowing her to remain in the room, but that did not mean she was forgiven. She mastered the impulse to hop up on the bed and lay her head in Hermione's lap like she would do for Cissy or Andy.

 

Hermione and Ginny looked over at her.

 

"She looks so pathetic," Ginny said. "I almost feel bad for her."

 

Hermione drew her knees up to her chest. "I know but...I'm just not ready to forgive her yet. I know she didn't mean it. But - No. She meant it. She just regrets it." She rubbed at her eyes. "This is so confusing."

 

Ginny patted Hermione's back. "It's okay. I'll take her outside."

 

Bellatrix slowly rose to her feet as Ginny approached. Head hanging and tail drooping, she followed Ginny silently to the door and slipped out into the hallway.

 

The door closed behind her. Bellatrix was alone.

 

She heaved a sigh and headed for her room, not sure where else to go. On her way, she ran into Potter, storming his way up the stairs with Ron trailing after him.

 

"I can't believe Dumbledore thinks having a Death Eater and Mrs Malfoy in the _Headquarters_ of the Order is a good idea," he snarled. He froze when he saw Bellatrix.

 

Bellatrix bared her teeth silently. She made no other move, no other sound.

 

"Come on, mate," Ron said. "We can talk more in our room." He approached Bellatrix carefully.

 

Bellatrix allowed him to stand beside her. She kept a wary eye on Potter.

 

Ron cleared his throat. "Um, Bellatrix, my door is right...you're standing right in front of...can we...?"

 

Bellatrix shook herself and moved out of the way of the door, closer to where Potter stood. He tensed.

 

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and stalked past him, teeth bared silently as she skirted around him. He and Ron disappeared into their room, locking the door behind them, and Bellatrix snorted. Voices drifted up the stairs. Ears twitching, she listened closely.

 

The voices came from somewhere near the front door. Low murmurs, nearly indistinguishable.

 

"Maybe it would be best if you stayed away for a few days," said Arthur Weasley's voice.

 

A sniff. "I see." Cissy. "You're bending to the whims of a spoiled child."

 

"Narcissa."

 

"You want me to stay away from my sister, my _family_ , because Potter cannot hold his tongue?"

 

Bellatrix panted nervously. They were going to make Cissy leave? She lumbered down the stairs.

 

Arthur and Cissy turned to her when she entered the hallway. Andy stood beside Cissy. She glanced briefly at Bellatrix before addressing Cissy.

 

"Potter has been through a lot, Narcissa, including a traumatic experience _your husband_ was involved in. You serve You-Know-Who - " Andy's voice grew more heated as she spoke until Cissy cut her off with a clipped tone.

 

"My concern is for my family. All else is secondary."

 

Bellatrix whined and nuzzled Cissy's hand. Cissy scratched her ears absently.

 

"Maybe to you. But not to everyone else," Andy said in frustration. "Besides, no one is saying you leave permanently. Only for a few days. Give Potter some time to calm down and adjust to the idea."

 

"Fine," Cissy snapped. "I'll stay away from my own sister and put helping her recover on hold for your _precious Potter._ " She spat the last two words, and then her voice turned icy. "But if that boy harms one hair on Bellatrix's head, it won't be the Dark Lord who kills him."

 

Before either Andy or Arthur could respond, she turned on heel and stormed out the front door, slamming it hard enough behind her to set off the portraits screaming. Bellatrix's hackles raised. Cissy left. Andy and Arthur had told her to leave and stay away. Nerves already frayed, the portraits made her snap.

 

Snarling Bellatrix lunged at the portrait, snapping her teeth at the horrible screeching woman. She couldn't get a grip on anything with her teeth. Just as she caught a corner of the frame, Andy wrapped her arms around Bella's neck.

 

"Bella, stop, please, let go, calm down," Andy pleaded.

 

Bella ignored her and lunged at the portrait again. She grabbed the corner of the frame and tore at it with her teeth. Wood creaked and groaned and splintered under her teeth. A piece broke off, lodging between her teeth. As she tore at the frame, the splinter dug into her gums, stabbed at the roof of her mouth.

 

"Bella!" Andy gasped. Hands flew at Bella's mouth, stopping short of touching her.

 

Bella growled. The taste of blood flooded her tongue. Her mouth throbbed and stung. Pausing briefly to consider a different line of attack, she allowed Andy to gently coax her mouth open.

 

Andy hissed. "Bella, hold still. I'm going to get this wood out - hold _still_ , I'm trying - there!"

 

Bella stepped back, shaking her head irritably. Another set of hands grabbed at her muzzle and shoved their thumbs inside, forcing her mouth to open. She growled. More gently, the hands turned her head toward Sirius. He guided her head up, peering at her teeth and the roof of her mouth.

 

"It looks worse than it is," he said, glancing at Andy who placed a hand on Bella's side. "A little bit of Ditany should clear that right up."

 

Bella yanked her head away. Where had Sirius been when Arthur forced Cissy to leave? Why hadn't he defended the pack? Why hadn't he put Andy in her place? Why had Cissy allowed herself to submit to Arthur? This was her pack's territory. The Weasley pack had _no right_ -

 

Bella snarled, hackles raised and snapped her teeth at Arthur. Reining her fury and confusion in, she managed not to lunge at him, not to wrestle him into submission. Sirius grabbed at her, and she leapt at him, knocking him over, and tore down the hall. She burst into one of the sitting rooms.

 

A fireplace, portraits, couches, some pillows, a table. Bella snatched one of the pillows off the couch, knocking over the coffee table. Tore at it with her teeth, sending feathers and fabric flying. Shoved her snout inside the hole, ripped at its insides to tear out its guts, to _kill it, kill it, kill it._

 

_Cissy is gone, they made Cissy leave, they made Cissy leave, Cissy is gone, gone, gone -_

 

"Bella, stop!" Andy rushed into the room, eyes wide, afraid and confused.

 

Good. Bella was too.

 

"Bella, stop, _please,_ " Andy begged. "What's wrong with you?" She reached out toward her. With a snarl, Bellatrix snapped her teeth inches from Andy's fingers. Andy recoiled.

 

Satisfied the pillow was destroyed, Bella dragged the couch cushion onto the floor and ripped at it, shaking her head, the fabric tearing over the sounds of Andy's gasping breaths.

 

"Andy." Sirius rushed into the room and stopped short of knocking into Andy. She backed into him, jumped as if she hadn't heard him approach, and he pushed Andy behind him as she shook.

 

"I don't know what happened," Andy said, trembling. Her face was pale, eyes wide, breath coming in short gasps. "She started attacking Aunt Walburga's portrait and then she tore in here and started destroying everything - "

 

Bellatrix caught a whiff of parchment and something she recognized as floor polish, a flash of red hair in the corner of her vision. Arthur Weasley moved around from behind Sirius to look at her with a stunned expression.

 

"What in the world - ?"

 

He didn't get to finish the sentence. Bellatrix closed the distance between them in a single leap and reared up on her back legs. She draped her front paws over his shoulders, a deep growl thundering in her chest, lips pulled back to fully expose her teeth and gums that brushed against his nose as she propelled her weight forward.

 

Arthur fell under her weight with a cry. Bellatrix tumbled down on top of him, knocking the breath from his lungs. Catching movement from Andy and Sirius, hands plunging into robe pockets, Bellatrix scrambled to her feet. She stood over Arthur, ears pinned back, snarling, teeth bared.

 

And waited.

 

Andy pulled her wand first. “ _Stupi -_ ”

 

“Wait,” Sirius gasped, knocking her arm aside. “Wait, Arthur, _don’t move_.”

 

“Sirius, what are you _doing_ \- ” Andy demanded. Terrified. Confused.

 

Pain lanced through Bellatrix. She ignored it. Whether Andy trusted her or not did not concern her at this moment. She had to be _understood_.

 

“Don’t move. Stay on your back and don’t look her in the eye,” Sirius instructed. Arthur swallowed and did as he was told.

 

Footsteps pounded down the stairs and through the hall.

 

“Dad?” Fred and George skidded to a halt in front of the door. Ron, Ginny, Harry and Hermione ran into the back of them. Hermione peered around the door frame, pale and lips trembling.

 

“Get off of him!” Ron roared, trying to shove past the twins.

 

“Stop!” Sirius snapped.

 

“That’s our dad!” Fred and George shouted, whipping their wands out of the pockets.

 

“Boys, listen to Sirius, please,” Arthur said, his voice thin and strained. Bellatrix swept her eyes over the assembled group: all pale and wide-eyed, Andy and Hermione both shaking, the rest looking ready to attack.

 

She dropped her eyes back to Arthur. No longer growling, she kept her teeth bared and ears back. She brought her face closer, her nose brushing against his, but he kept his eyes averted and though he tensed, he made no move to fight back.

 

Huffing, Bellatrix lifted her head, ears up, lips falling to conceal her teeth. She stepped away from him, no longer interested. But Cissy was still gone, and she flopped to the floor next to the couch cushion and worried it with her teeth.

 

“What’s going on?” Ginny demanded.

 

“Bellatrix is just a little upset, kids,” Arthur said, hesitantly getting to his feet, eyes on Bellatrix. Bellatrix bared her teeth at him in warning and then went back to chewing on the cushion.

 

“So she attacked you?” Harry shot back.

 

Sirius stepped forward. “She didn’t hurt Arthur. She was making a show of dominance. I’ve seen that behavior before with her pack in the Forbidden Forest.” He turned to Arthur. “What happened to make her so upset?”

 

“We told you, the portrait started screaming,” Andy said, and Bella growled lightly.

 

“What made my mother start screaming this time?”

 

“Narcissa stormed out,” Arthur said. Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but Arthur answered, anticipating the question. “We thought, given the tensions between her and Harry, that it would be best if she stayed away for a few days.”

 

Bellatrix growled, ears pinned back.

 

“I see.” Sirius crouched in front of Bellatrix. “If I promise to send Narcissa an owl inviting her back, will you calm down?”

 

Bellatrix eyed him distrustfully. Cissy should never have been sent away in the first place. Why did Sirius allow it to happen?

 

Sirius held out a hand, slowly. Bellatrix growled, baring her teeth, hackles raising. He retracted his hand, averted his eyes and slowly rose, backing away.

 

“So she attacked Dad?” Fred demanded, going red in the face.

 

Bellatrix did not understand what he was so angry about. She asserted the hierarchy, a perfectly natural thing to do. Or was it? Maybe it wasn’t. Bellatrix wasn’t sure anymore.

 

“Just like she attacked Hermione?” George snapped, and Bellatrix felt a twinge of guilt at that. Still, the situations were not comparable.

 

“She did what?” Potter yelled. “She attacked Hermione? Now she’s attacking Mr Weasley? Sirius, how can you allow this? How can Dumbledore?”

 

Molly pushed past the twins, rushing over to Arthur, still wiping her hands on a dishcloth, flustered and alarm. “What happened? Arthur? Arthur, what happened - ”

 

“Nothing, Molly, dear, just a misunderstanding - ”

 

Bellatrix rose to her feet, teeth bared, head lowered. She backed away, eyes darting around the room: only one door, blocked by all the children. Fred and George held their wands in the fists, though currently they were pointed at the floor. If she rushed them, would the children scatter and allow her an avenue to escape? Or would they attack and force her to fight?

 

“This is dangerous, yes,” Sirius said, addressing Potter while Arthur tried to calm Molly, “but we knew that going in. Dumbledore thinks this is the best decision - ”

 

Even as Sirius spoke, Bellatrix saw the tightening around his eyes, the shifting of his weight, the flash of a grimace. Cissy was gone, Andy sided against her, and Sirius did not trust anyone.

 

She was alone.

 

Bellatrix backed away, ears pinned back against her head, spine arched, teeth bared, and she snarled, tail tucked between her legs. Sirius turned to her and his eyes widened.

 

“Trixie, calm down - ”

 

No exits, no pack. One choice.

 

“TRIXIE, NO,” Sirius shouted as all the tension in Bellatrix’s body exploded into movement.

 

She lunged for the door. The twins raised their wands as the other children scattered, and maybe she could make it, force her way between the twins -

 

“ _STUPIFY!_ ”

 

The spell caught Bellatrix mid-stride. She felt it slam into her side. Her body crashed to the floor.

 

As consciousness faded, her last thought was _Andy, you fucking traitor_.


	18. Sisters

****Hermione whimpered as Bellatrix’s body went still. Everyone held their breath. Andromeda’s wand shook slightly in her hand, and her face was pale.

 

“Is she alright?” Hermione asked, leaning closer as if she wanted to approach the prone wolf but fear held her back.

 

“It was only a stunner,” Andromeda said, her voice thin.

 

“Is she breathing?” Hermione asked. Even Potter looked a little sick.

 

Andromeda couldn’t help but hold her breath for what felt like an excruciatingly long time until she discerned the movement of Bella’s black coat, her side rising and falling in even breathes.

 

“You’re worried about that monster when she just tried to kill our dad?” Ron snarled, rounding on Hermione who flinched. Andromeda took a step toward them.

 

Molly’s head snapped back around to stare at Arthur with horror.

 

“No, Molly, dear, the boys are just upset - ” Arthur started soothingly.

 

“She wasn’t trying to kill anyone,” Sirius said, sounding aggravated. “I’ve already said, it was a display of dominance - ”

 

Ron scoffed. “You expect us to believe that? She’s a Death Eater!”

 

“And just a few days ago you lot were treating her like a pet!” Sirius snapped. He pointed his wand at Bellatrix and levitated her. Andy felt nauseous at how limp and lifeless Bella’s body hung in the air, mouth open and tongue lolling out. “I’m taking Trixie to her room and then we need to have a talk.”

 

“We’ll meet you in the kitchen, Sirius,” Arthur said. “Come on, let’s go.” He ushered the children down the hall. Molly followed close behind.

 

Andromeda followed silently behind Sirius, helping to maneuver Bella around tight corners and through the doorway of her bedroom without bumping her against the walls. Sirius set her down on the bed. Sighing, his shoulders slumped, Andromeda saw the full weight of everything bearing down on him.

 

“I should have left her in the forest,” he sighed. “That was supposed to be the plan.” He rubbed at his forehead.

 

“You did the right thing, Sirius,” Andromeda said softly. She believed that, she did. But she wondered if Dumbledore were doing the right thing. It would have been less painful for her to keep believing Bellatrix dead than to lose her all over again.

 

Sirius shook his head. “ _This_ isn’t what’s best for her. With everything else, I lost sight of why I protected her in the first place.”

 

Before Andromeda could think of anything to say, Sirius muttered the counterspell. Bellatrix groaned and groggily raised her head with a whine. A faltering growl rumbled in her chest when she saw them. Ears pinned back against her head.

 

“Come on.” Sirius took Andromeda’s hand - his fingers were so thin and skeletal that she failed to suppress a shiver - and pulled her gently from the room.

 

 

Sirius tapped his fingers against the kitchen table with one hand, his chin resting in the palm of the other. “Right. Let’s talk about my furriest cousin, shall we?”

 

The boys and Ginny glared at him defiantly. Hermione kept her eyes on her lap. Arthur looked exhausted, Molly’s lips were pursed tight, and Andromeda silently gazed at the table.

 

“What’s there to talk about?” Ron said finally. “She attacked Hermione, she attacked our dad, and she was going to attack us!”

 

Sirius took a deep breath in through his nose, trying to sooth his nerves. “Did I tell you about my time in the Forest with Trixie?” A trick question: he hadn’t, although Hermione had recognized her from their visit to the cave when she had arrived at Grimmauld Place. She had not asked any questions when Sirius had been less than forthcoming with answers.

 

His relationship with Bellatrix was not something he liked to think about, even less while trapped in his childhood home. Still, whatever his feelings about Bellatrix, he owed it to the creature now trapped with them to put things right - or as right as he possibly could.

 

“When I got out of Azkaban, I was skinny. Skeletal. I could barely hunt. Mostly, I dug through trash cans for scraps. I met Trixie for a few minutes near the edge of the forest a month or so after I arrived. The next time I saw her, she led me on a hunt - just for me. She made sure I ate my fill of the most nutritious parts of deer before she had anything to eat.”

 

Harry frowned. “So?”

 

“So my dear cousin Bellatrix would have killed me on sight - not gone out of her way to feed me.” Sirius drummed his fingers against the table. “The point I’m trying to make is that we’re not dealing with my Death Eater cousin Bellatrix. We’re dealing with a highly intelligent but ultimately _wild_ animal. Her actions cannot be divided into ‘harmless pet’ or ‘evil Death Eater’.”

 

“But she _is_ a Death Eater,” Harry said hotly. “She’s done horrible things. She served Voldemort! You can’t just brush that aside!”

 

Sirius smiled sadly. “I’m not brushing anything aside. Bellatrix _was_ and perhaps may be again a Death Eater. But we cannot deal with what she _was_ or what she _may be_ in this matter. We can only deal with what she _is_ , and _that_ is a confused and frustrated wild animal that feels threatened and lashes out. That was why she attacked you. She was scared, and the only way out of the room was blocked. She felt scared and insecure, and she asserted her position over Arthur in the social hierarchy after he told Narcissa to stay away.”

 

Sirius held up a hand to halt their protests. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Andromeda prop her elbows on the table and bury her face in her hands. “If you truly want to help the Order, you can do it by helping Bellatrix. But keep in mind the creature you are dealing with.

 

“If you can’t do that,” and here he focused on Harry, Ron, Fred and George particularly, “then stay away from her.”

 

 

The children were sullen as they trudged back to their rooms. Once they were gone, Sirius and Andromeda checked Arthur for any injuries they might have missed.

 

“I’ll go write Narcissa,” Sirius said, eyes drifting to the ceiling. A howl pierced through the house followed by something heavy crashing.

 

“I hope that was that ugly cabinet,” Sirius commented, heading up the stairs.

 

Andromeda grimaced. “I hope not. I put my clothes in there,” she muttered to herself. With Arthur nervously departing with Molly (probably off to have a private argument), Andromeda went to the room she shared with Bellatrix.

 

The second she turned the handle, all noise from inside ceased.

 

Frowning, she pushed the door open and peered inside. Bellatrix stood in a far corner of the room by a broken dresser. A pile of clothes underneath her, a white night dress hanging in shreds from her teeth. Hackles raising, Bellatrix fixed her with a terrifying glare and snarled.

 

Andromeda felt the air knocked from her lungs. Bella had never looked at her like this, not once. Not with so much hate and murder in her eyes.

 

Not even that time when Aunt Walburga’s portrait, the first day of them being in the house, had told Bellatrix to get rid of her. It had flashed through Bellatrix’s eyes so quickly that Andromeda had wondered if she imagined it. She was scared Bellatrix would turn on them after all. It made sense for her to imagine such a thing. But this was real.

 

“Bella?” Andromeda forced herself to take a step forward, small and hesitant.

 

Bella’s snarling increased in volume, the fur on her back rising. She lunged forward. Andromeda stumbled back. Bella stopped, bracing her legs in front of her. A warning move, nothing more.

 

Andromeda trembled. It was like the past month had never happened. Worse even. Bellatrix was right back to where she had been in the cave - but even then she had not looked at either Andromeda nor Narcissa the way she looked at Andromeda now. Would Bellatrix even put her trust in Sirius anymore?

 

“Bella,” Andromeda whispered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t understand. Please, stop and let me - ”

 

Bellatrix jolted forward again, snapping her teeth. Andromeda rocked back slightly, just barely stopping herself from stumbling away.

 

The door creaked open behind her.

 

Andromeda turned. “Sirius - ”

 

She stopped. There was no one there. Footsteps shuffled across the carpeting, and Andromeda dropped her gaze. Kreacher stood off to the side, eyeing Bellatrix and Andromeda.

 

“What have we here?” he said to himself. “Miss Bella turns on the blood traitor. Remembering herself perhaps? What a shame for her to have fallen so far. So promising. So powerful. If only she or Miss Cissy could have been the heirs to the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. Mistress would have been so thrilled to have a proper heir...”

 

“What do you want?” Andromeda said, short and clipped.

 

“The blood traitor speaks to Kreacher as if she can demand anything of him,” Kreacher muttered to himself.

 

“Answer me,” Andromeda commanded.

 

Kreacher glared at her. “Kreacher is checking on Miss Bella. She is destroying Mistress’s house. She was attacked by blood traitors - ”

 

“She needed to be subdued for her own safety and for ours,” Andromeda interrupted. She felt a twinge of guilt at how the night played out, wishing she had done things differently.

 

Kreacher scoffed and shuffled toward Bellatrix. Stooping low, he said, “Miss Bella? How may Kreacher be of service?”

 

Bellatrix glanced at him. Her growling lessened. Kreacher kept his head bowed and reached out slowly.

 

Bella’s growling stopped.

 

“Oh, Miss Bella,” Kreacher lamented, “look what you’ve done to this room. Look at your leg.”

 

Kreacher crouched beside Bella, and it was then Andromeda noticed the matted fur along Bella’s front left leg. Gasping, Andromeda took a step forward. Bellatrix’s head snapped back to her, and she snarled again. Andromeda stopped in her tracks. Bellatrix kept her eyes on her even as Kreacher slowly and carefully checked her leg, summoned something that Andromeda assumed was Ditany and smeared it over Bella’s leg. He conjured a strip of white cloth and wrapped it around her leg. Bellatrix whined as he worked, but refused to take her eyes off of Andromeda.

 

“There, there,” Kreacher murmured, patting Bella’s shoulder, “Kreacher made it all better. Kreacher will fix this up and make sure Miss Bella doesn’t hurt herself again.”

 

Andromeda frowned. “Leave, Kreacher.”

 

Kreacher grumbled under his breath. Andromeda took a step toward him, temper rising. Bella stepped sideways to block Kreacher with her body, glaring at Andromeda in a silent challenge. Hesitating, Andromeda stopped.

 

As much as she did not want Kreacher hanging around Bellatrix and influencing her, every inch of Bella’s body language screamed danger. If she attempted to remove Kreacher by force, Bellatrix would escalate the situation to one of violence. Of this, she had no doubt. She also did not doubt that it would further damage their already severed relationship.

 

The best thing, she decided, was to leave.

 

She only hoped that Bellatrix would be calmer in the morning.

 

 

She wasn’t.

 

If anything, Andromeda thought she had gotten worse. She trudged into the kitchen early that morning with Sirius following behind her. She wore a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt she had borrowed. Trying to get into the room she shared with Bellatrix was a disaster. Bellatrix had not attacked her, but she had not allowed Andromeda more than a few steps into the room. Her growling and snarling had woken Sirius and a few of the children, though the children had not done more than poke their heads out the door, looking worried and curious.

 

She stopped in confusion. Sirius nearly walked into her back.

 

“Andy?” Sirius yawned, rubbing at his eyes.

 

Andromeda kept her gaze on Kreacher, who bustled around the kitchen, preparing a breakfast. He had never done this unprompted before. Andromeda felt wide awake.

 

“What are you doing, Kreacher?” she said. Though phrased as a question, she left no doubt she expected an answer.

 

Kreacher groaned and glared at her. “Kreacher is making breakfast for Miss Bella.”

 

“I will bring Bellatrix her meal. I always have.”

 

Kreacher wheezed. It sounded like a low chuckle. “Miss Bella did not allow you in the room. How will you bring her breakfast?”

 

“It’s not your place to question me, elf,” Andromeda snapped. A chill ran down her spine. That sounded like something Mother or Father would have said. The words had flowed so naturally off her tongue, but now they did not feel like her words at all. She swallowed hard.

 

Kreacher bowed low. From any other house elf, it would be a sign of respect. From Kreacher it felt mocking. “Of course. The blood traitor knows best.”

 

“Be quiet, Kreacher,” Sirius said sharply. Kreacher glared at him. “Andy will take Bellatrix her meal. Hand it over.”

 

Grumbling under his breath, Kreacher handed Andromeda the large silver plate ladened with raw meat - a few deboned fish, a slab of something bloody that she guessed might be deer or cow, and a mix of fruits and veggies. She raised an eyebrow at that, and Kreacher said, “A balanced meal. Miss Bella must get all her proper nutrients.” He added reluctantly, almost mournfully, “If Miss Bella is to be stuck in such a form, she must eat a balanced diet.”

 

Andromeda frowned down at the plate. She started toward the stairs, stopped and bit out a reluctant “Thank you, Kreacher” before continuing up the steps, ignoring Kreacher’s grumbling.

 

Andromeda made it as far as the main stairway when the front door burst open. Narcissa stormed inside, slamming the door behind her with a flick of her wand. The curtains to Aunt Walburga’s portrait flew open.

 

“ _Shut up, you old hag,_ ” Narcissa snarled, shocking the portrait into silence for the first time. It didn’t last long, but Narcissa took advantage of the lapse to yank the curtains closed, cutting off Aunt Walburga mid-wail of “ _why I never_ \- ”

 

Narcissa spun around, hair flying about her shoulders, robe and cloak swishing around her feet. “ _You_ ,” she growled.

 

Andromeda kept her face impassive, forcing herself not to flinch even as Narcissa came to stop with her face mere inches from her own, looking furious enough to hex her within an inch of her life.

 

Narcissa glanced down at the plate in Andromeda’s hands. “Is that for Bellatrix?”

 

Andromeda nodded curtly.

 

Narcissa took the plate. Andromeda decided not to fight her. She didn’t want to have to clean up and cook another meal. It was too early for this.

 

“Kreacher,” Narcissa snapped.

 

Kreacher popped into existence beside her. He bowed low, a genuine gesture. “How may Kreacher be of assistance to Miss Cissy?”

 

Narcissa held out the plate to him. “Take this to Bellatrix.” Then she tacked on, “Please.”

 

Kreacher took the plate, bowed low again, and trudged wheezing up the stairs.

 

Seconds dragged by as Narcissa held her gaze, standing uncomfortably close. Andromeda had forgotten how cold Narcissa’s eyes could be.

 

Once Kreacher’s footsteps had reached the top of the stairs and faded down the hall above, Narcissa took a small step forward. Andromeda held her ground. They were close enough to almost brush noses now, but Andromeda refused to let Narcissa dominate the situation. She had the upper hand, being in Sirius’s house. She was an inch taller, and while it wasn’t much, it was enough as she drew herself to her full height.

 

“Why, Cissy, I’m surprised at you,” Andromeda remarked. “How can you stand to be so close to a blood traitor? Don’t you worry my filth will rub off on you?”

 

Narcissa slapped her.

 

Andromeda took a step back, hand flying up to her cheek in shock.

 

“Don’t you dare,” Narcissa hissed. “After I got Sirius’s pathetic excuse for a letter, I sent an owl back demanding an explanation. How could you let that happen again? How could you let - ”

 

“I didn’t _let_ anything happen - ”

 

“I _knew_ something was going to go wrong,” Narcissa continued, though now she seemed to speak more to herself than Andromeda. “I _knew_ I shouldn’t have left, this was all a terrible mistake, I should _never_ have trusted you to keep her safe - ”

 

“I have kept her safe! But I have to keep everyone else here safe too, Narcissa. She could have seriously injured someone. _Again_.”

 

“Then don’t let it get to that point!” Narcissa snapped. She jabbed her finger against Andromeda’s chest. “Don’t pretend you can’t. You’ve always been good at reading people. Don’t you dare tell me you didn’t see the warning signs.”

 

“It happened too fast,” Andromeda said, “you weren’t there - ”

 

“Because of you!” Narcissa stormed forward, getting back in Andromeda’s personal space. Andromeda glared back.

 

“If you didn’t see the warning signs,” Narcissa hissed in a low voice, eyes hard and steely, “it’s because you _chose_ not to.”

 

“I didn’t - ”

 

“An incident like this could set back everything we’ve worked toward! She could lose trust in us entirely after you attacked her. What a stupid thing to do.” Narcissa shook her head. “It’s like you don’t even want Bellatrix to get better.”

 

The last comment was a throw away, said in anger and frustration, but to Andromeda’s horror she felt herself go cold, the thought _I don’t_ flitting across her mind unbidden.

 

Something of her thoughts must have crossed her face because Narcissa went very still, eyes widening in shock. Andromeda felt time slow, everything crashing around her as an almost physical sensation. Tried to will herself to speak before Narcissa got stuck in her thoughts too deeply and it would become impossible to explain herself.

 

No words came.

 

Narcissa’s gaze hardened. Her lips thinned, eyes narrowed, her body tense and rigid. “I see,” she said. Spun on her heel and started up the stairs. “I am going to check on Bellatrix.”

 

“Narcissa, wait - ” Andromeda said, “you’re taking it wrong - ”

 

But Narcissa didn’t listen, and Andromeda wasn’t sure how Narcissa should have taken her feelings instead.

 

She sighed heavily, rubbing at her eyelids. If she didn’t go after Narcissa, it would only allow her more time to get worked up. But what would she say to Narcissa? What _could_ she say?

 

The trip up the stairs and down the hall to Bellatrix’s room didn’t give Andromeda any answers. She cared about Bellatrix. She loved her. She did.

 

Opening the door, Andromeda poked her head in. “Narcissa, can we talk?”

 

Narcissa knelt beside Bellatrix, running her hands along Bella’s sides and down her legs. She frowned at the bandage around Bella’s front leg.

 

“She hurt herself when she destroyed the dresser,” Andromeda said softly.

 

Narcissa didn’t look at her. Without a word, she unwound the cloth and pushed aside the fur to get a better lok.

 

“Kreacher has been tending to it. She won’t let me get near her.”

 

Narcissa’s frown deepened, and her gaze hardened further. “Unsurprising.”

 

Andromeda stepped fully into the room, trying to ignore the low growl that came from Bellatrix. Tried to ignore the way Bellatrix positioned her body between them as if to protect Narcissa from her.

 

“Narcissa, I was surprised by your remark,” Andromeda said. Narcissa looked at her sharply. “Of course I want Bellatrix to get better.” It tasted like a lie, and she hoped that Narcissa didn’t see that thought written on her face too. “She’s my sister. I love her. I will take care of her and protect her.”

 

That, at least, felt true and didn’t cause anxiety to coil in her chest. She relaxed slightly.

 

Narcissa was unmoved. She murmured a few spells to clean the wound and fight off infection then wrapped the cloth back around Bellatrix’s leg. The wound was no longer bleeding, and it didn’t appear that taking the bandage off had removed any of the scabbing. Kreacher had done a good job. Andromeda made a mental note to thank him later.

 

At last Narcissa looked up at Andromeda. “You’re upsetting Bellatrix. Please leave.”

 

“Narcissa - ” Andromeda took a step forward and so did Bellatrix, her fur bristling and teeth bared. She barked a sharp warning.

 

Narcissa grabbed a fistful of Bella’s fur between her shoulders. Not that it would do any good should Bellatrix decide to attack her, but Andromeda appreciated the gesture. Tried to ignore the feeling that it was more out of concern for Bellatrix than for her.

 

“Go,” Narcissa commanded.

 

Andromeda frowned at her tone. “We’ll talk later,” she said and left, closing the door behind her. Perhaps a childish tactic to get the last word, but one which made her feel better all the same.

 

 

Narcissa remained with Bellatrix in her room for the rest of the day while Andromeda helped Sirius and the children clean the drawing room - another room infested with Doxies. It gave the children something to focus on besides her, though Potter spent plenty of time glancing over at Sirius. He seemed angry and put off from last night, but he clearly wanted to spend time with his godfather.

 

Molly kept them all busy, however, which was fine with Andromeda.

 

Sirius placed a hand on her shoulder after Molly left to get them all lunch. “How are you holding up?”

 

Andromeda rubbed her eyes. “Bellatrix acted like I was going to attack Narcissa when I tried to go into the room.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said with a frown and a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “It’ll blow over.”

 

“What if it doesn’t?” Andy turned to Sirius, feeling wretched. “Narcissa accused me of not wanting Bellatrix to get better.”

 

Sirius’s eyebrows rose slightly, but he looked nowhere near as surprised as she might have expected. Calmly, he asked, “Do you?”

 

Andromeda hesitated. She searched Sirius’s face for any sign of judgement. Finding none, she whispered brokenly, “I don’t know.” She looked away, unable to meet his eyes, hating the tears stinging at her own. “And Cissy is going to do something stupid. I just know it.”

 

“Knowing is half the battle,” Sirius said. Smiling, he added, “We’ll stop her. She doesn’t have half the practice at doing stupid things that I do.”

 

Andromeda laughed, feeling a little bit better, but she could not stop worrying.

 

When Narcissa left sometime late in the afternoon, she did so without a word. Andromeda didn’t even know she was gone until she spotted Kreacher shuffling toward the stairs with a tray of raw fish and, strangely, a few ice cubes that were an unsettling reddish-pink color. She decided she didn’t want to know what the cubes were made of.

 

“Miss Cissy asked Kreacher to bring Miss Bella her dinner when she left,” Kreacher said, eyeing her mistrustfully.

 

“Narcissa is gone? Did she say when she’d be back?”

 

Kreacher grumbled. “Kreacher does not pry into Miss Cissy’s affairs.”

 

Andromeda rolled her eyes. “I didn’t ask you to pry. I asked you if she said when she would be back.”

 

Kreacher shook his head, his ears flopping slightly. “Miss Cissy did not tell Kreacher her plans.”

 

While Andromeda suspected that to be largely true, she could not shake the feeling that Kreacher knew more than he let on. She did not push, however. It wouldn’t do for Kreacher to become suspicious in turn and tip off Narcissa.

 

The uneasy feeling did not leave, and Andromeda found herself laying in bed, in Sirius’s borrowed clothes, in a previously unused guestroom which had not been thoroughly cleaned, staring at the ceiling. Bellatrix paced in her room, her footfalls heavy on the thin carpet.

 

Her restless movements carried in the otherwise silent house. Everyone else had fallen asleep hours ago, save for Andromeda, Bellatrix, and Kreacher. Kreacher’s wheezing and muttering carried up through the floor as he shuffled down the hallway towards the front door. Probably going to mutter to Aunt Walburga’s portrait, Andromeda assumed - until she heard a faint click. A slight creak. Another click.

 

She sat up. Had that been a door?

 

Snatching her wand off the bedside table, Andromeda crept to the bedroom door and eased it open a crack. She crouched against the wall, peering through the darkness into the hallway.

 

Someone crept up the stairs, hesitating here and there when a stair creaked. Listening, perhaps. Andromeda clutched her wand tight, focused on keeping her breathing soft and even. Bellatrix had stopped pacing. Andromeda imagined Bellatrix standing completely still, ears pricked up and alert, every muscle tense as she listened.

 

Her mind raced. Grimmauld Place was protected by a Fidelius Charm. Only those to whom Dumbledore had given the location could find the place. A member of the Order, then. But why then were they here this late at night? Why were they sneaking about?

 

Perhaps a traitor. Perhaps a member of the Order coming to harm Bellatrix in the dead of night, hoping to slip out unnoticed and uncaught; a thought which had plagued Andromeda for weeks when she first came to Grimmauld Place, one reason why she insisted on sharing a room with Bellatrix.

 

She cursed Dumbledore. _Why_ hadn’t he told the rest of the Order about his Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa? Surely no member of the Order would consider killing Albus Dumbledore a worthy trade for revenge against Bellatrix.

 

The footsteps reached the top of the stairs. Andromeda could see Bellatrix’s door from where she crouched. A tall figure, swathed in black, crept toward the door and stopped in front of it. Andromeda focused on her breath. Soft and even. When the person stepped into the room, she would be able to get behind them for an attack while the intruder was faced with Bellatrix, whom they must have expected to be asleep.

 

Backup would arrive quickly once the intruder opened the door. Bellatrix’s growls and barks would wake the whole house.

The intruder carefully opened the door, peered inside and then stepped over the threshold. There were no growls. No barks. Bellatrix made no sound at all, though Andromeda heard her take a few steps. It hit her then who the intruder was.

 

Andromeda managed to bite back a frustrated sigh. Of course it was Narcissa. Here to do something stupid no doubt, just as Andromeda had suspected.

 

Quietly, she slipped out of her room and down the stairs to the front door. Leaning back against it, she twirled her wand in her fingers and waited.

 

It didn’t take long for her to hear the soft padding of Bellatrix’s paw approach. She squinted down the hall, trying to pick out Bellatrix’s form in the shadows when the paws hit the bottom of the stairs. Andromeda thought she heard someone try to shush Bellatrix. Kreacher, perhaps? Bellatrix was making more noise than Andromeda would have suspected. Perhaps she didn’t understand she was supposed to be sneaking.

 

The thought nearly made her snort in amusement. No, it struck her a second later. Bellatrix wasn’t trying to be stealthy because she already knew there was no point. Bellatrix knew Andromeda was here.

 

Bellatrix stopped moving. Someone hissed in surprise. Narcissa. Bella’s paws had masked the sound of Narcissa’s footsteps.

 

“ _Lumos,_ ” Narcissa hissed.

 

As the tip of Narcissa’s wand lit up, Andromeda kept her expression neutral. She didn’t move, still leaning back against the front door, twirling her wand in her fingers. Narcissa stared at her.

 

“Andromeda,” she hissed, “what are you doing?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Andromeda remarked. Her gaze dropped to Bellatrix who stood tense beside Narcissa, wearing the harness that Narcissa had conjured. “But I already know.”

 

Narcissa clutched the leash in her hands. “She isn’t safe here.”

 

“And she’ll be safe with you? With the _Death Eaters_?”

 

“I have a plan.”

 

Scoffing, Andromeda pushed herself off the door. “Bullshit. You were right earlier, Cissy. I am _very_ good at reading people. Especially my sisters.”

 

Narcissa stepped back, seemed to curl in on herself slightly, clutching the leash to her chest, and spat, “You don’t care about Bellatrix. I won’t leave her with you. I was a fool to ever trust you.”

 

“You’re wrong,” Andromeda said softly. “I _do_ love Bellatrix. I will keep her safe, to the best of my ability. You have Albus Dumbledore’s Vow. What more could you do than that?”

 

“Has Dumbledore even told his precious Order about the Vow? They could kill her and think nothing of it until after.”

 

“I’m sure Dumbledore has his reasons,” Andromeda said, though she was not sure they would turn out to be very good ones.

 

“You don’t want her to get better,” Narcissa accused.

 

Andromeda closed her eyes a moment and took a deep breath. Let it out slowly. “We need to talk. There’s some Firewhiskey in the kitchen.”

 

 

There wasn’t any Firewhiskey in the kitchen.

 

Grumbling, Andromeda grabbed some Butterbeers and set them on the table, two each, before plopping down in her chair and twisting the cap off. “I’ll bet anything Mundungus Fletcher stole the last of the Firewhiskey. I swear I will kill that man.”

 

Narcissa scoffed in agreement. Bellatrix lay down beside her, still wearing the harness and leash, and rested her head on the floor between her paws.

 

Opening her own Butterbeer, Narcissa said, “I can’t believe that man is in the Order. Dumbledore trusts a common criminal?”

 

“As if most of the Death Eaters are any better.”

 

“But _they_ are not trusted,” Narcissa said. “It was Mundungus who was supposed to be watching Potter the night he was attacked. What was it he left for? A deal on stolen cauldrons?” She shook her head. “Unbelievable. The Dark Lord would never have trusted someone like Mundungus Fletcher with a job so important.”

 

“No,” Andromeda said slowly, setting her Butterbeer on the table. She kept her hands wrapped around it. “He had Bellatrix for that. And he has Lucius.”

 

Narcissa stiffened. Bellatrix lifted her head.

 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Andromeda said. “We’ve danced around the topic too long.”

 

Narcissa eyed her. Took a long sip of her Butterbeer. Set it down, and considered a moment more. At length, she said, “You don’t want Bellatrix to get better.”

 

“No.” Andromeda swallowed, trembling hands tightening around her bottle of Butterbeer. Narcissa tensed up, withdrawing even further behind her walls, and Andromeda’s voice cracked as she added, “I’m afraid.”

 

Narcissa looked for a second as though she were going to speak, but to her credit, she did not insult Andromeda by asking what frightened her.

 

“Bellatrix chose You-Know-Who over me,” Andromeda said. “She became a Death Eater. She tortured and killed people like my husband - like my _daughter_ , who is now fighting against people like her and like...like _you_ and your husband. So I’m sorry if I’m not eager to see her trying to kill my _family_.”

 

Andromeda had not realized how her voice rose as she spoke. The silence was deafening. She drained her Butterbeer, slammed the empty bottle onto the table and popped the cap off the second, wishing desperately that there was something stronger.

 

She would kill Mundungus Fletcher.

 

Narcissa took a delicate sip of Butterbeer. “You assume Bellatrix would return to the Dark Lord.”

 

Andromeda scoffed. “I’m not nearly so idealistic as Albus Dumbledore. Given the choice I know first hand that neither of my sisters will remain at my side.”

 

“You could join the Dark Lord,” Narcissa said carefully, studying her. “He would see value in your daughter’s abilities as well - regardless of her blood status.”

 

“And you could join the Order,” Andromeda shot back. “Whether You-Know-Who recognizes my daughter as having ‘value’ is irrelevant. She would never turn against everything she believes in. Her own _father_.” Leaning over the table, she snapped, “And my daughter has value because she is my daughter, a wonderful human being just like her father, _not_ because of any abilities she was born with. She would be just as _valuable_ if she weren’t a Metamorphagus and as dumb and selfish as your husband.”

 

Narcissa bristled at that but did not take the obvious bait. “And what would you have me do? Abandon my son and husband, something you yourself refuse to do?”

 

“I said nothing about abandoning your son - ”

 

“You think I should run away and take him with me then? Pray the Dark Lord does not find us?” Narcissa leaned forward, eyes sharp. “The Dark Lord does not forgive betrayal. He would first punish Lucius for my actions and then when - no, Andromeda, _when_ not if - _when_ the Dark Lord finds us, do you think death will be swift and merciful? No. I would be forced to watch my son tortured until the Dark Lord tired of him and killed him.”

 

Narcissa blinked back tears, and Andromeda began to speak. “Cissy, I - ”

 

“Then,” Narcissa continued, ignoring Andromeda, “ _if_ I am lucky the Dark Lord will kill me quickly. If I’m not, he will let me live a little longer to suffer in the knowledge that I killed my son. I - ”

 

Her voice broke, and she buried her face in her hands. Andromeda stood and rushed to her side, wrapping her arms around Narcissa, almost tripping over Bellatrix who scrambled to her feet and out of the way.

 

“Cissy...”

 

Narcissa pushed Andromeda away. “You think you’re the only one worried about their loved ones?”

 

“I never said - ”

 

“During the war, I was terrified, always. For Lucius, for Draco - that he would grow up without a father - for Bellatrix - for you! Do you think I was unaware of what it would mean for you if the Dark Lord won? But you had chosen your side and there was nothing - did you ever worry about us? Did you ever once think of Bellatrix? Of me?”

 

Narcissa stood, furious. Andromeda felt an icy rage trickle through her veins and she said, “I tried not to think about how my sisters wanted to destroy my family.” Then she relented, softening slightly. “I did think of you, sometimes. Especially when your marriage was announced. When your son was born.”

 

“And Bellatrix?”

 

“I tried not to think of her at all.” Andromeda shrugged. “I imagine she did the same.” A memory tugged at the back of her mind, something that had bothered her for over a decade no matter how deeply she tried to bury it. “But she kept the jacket I gave her. The Aurors mentioned it.”

 

Slumping, Narcissa nodded. “She...she would never admit to it, but I know she thought of you.” Softly, she said, “She kept the jacket. And the necklace. I was sure that she had destroyed them, but I think she was just so angry at you that she refused to wear them after you left - for a time, at least. I think...I think she missed you.” Her voice a whisper, she added, “Just as I did.”

 

Andromeda swallowed around the lump that had lodged itself in her throat. “You could have contacted me.”

 

“We were...I was angry. Hurt. Betrayed. I still don’t understand what you could see in that... _muggleborn._ What did he have to offer you that a respectable wizard could not?”

 

“He loves me, and I love him,” Andromeda said, the hard edge returning to her voice. “He is kind and smart and loyal and is an amazing father and he makes me _so happy_ , Cissy. He is worth more than most of the pureblood wizards I’ve met. Blood status isn’t everything. You’re lucky, Cissy. You love Lucius, he makes you happy, I can see that - but what about Bellatrix? Are you telling me she was happy with _Rodolphus Lestrange_?”

 

“They worked well together,” Narcissa said simply, her voice tightening.

 

Andromeda chuckled humorlessly. Turning to Bellatrix, she said, “ _Lestrange_.”

 

Bellatrix’s ears flattened against her head, and she bared her teeth, a low rumbling growl starting deep in her chest.

 

Narcissa’s face paled slightly. A curious reaction, Andromeda thought, though she did not quite know what to make of it.

 

“Bellatrix married a man she hates, and for what? A false sense of superiority?” Andromeda scoffed. “What a stupid reason to - ”

 

Whatever resolve Narcissa held shattered then. Jumping to her feet, she screamed, “She did it _for me_!”

 

Andromeda took a step back.

 

“Bellatrix married Rodolphus _for me_ ,” Narcissa spat, her eyes read and watery. “Because you left, and it was a huge scandal and then Bellatrix and I were both under suspicion then, everyone just _waiting_ for - Bellatrix had really ought to have been married before then but she wasn’t even looking for a husband which already made people talk and then _you_ went and - and I was terrified because I thought Lucius’s father might think our family - ” She placed a hand over her mouth, tears sliding down her cheeks, and looked down at Bellatrix, who stared up at her with obvious worry. She knelt beside Bellatrix, wrapped her arms around her neck, and rested her cheek on the top of Bella’s head.

 

“She never said - but I knew. I always knew. Maybe she would have been able to find a husband better suited to her, maybe someone she could love or at least respect but _you left_ and Bellatrix married the one man she hadn’t scared off yet to ensure the Malfoys would not object to my relationship with Lucius.”

 

Andromeda felt cold inside. Perhaps it would be better to say that she felt nothing at all. “I won’t be made to feel guilty. Bellatrix made her own decision. As did you.”

 

“It’s not a decision that she should have had to make!” Narcissa snapped.

 

“No. It isn’t.” Andromeda regarded Narcissa cooly.

 

Narcissa bristled. “You blame _me_?”

 

“Who else should I blame?”

 

“ _You’re_ the one who - !”

 

“I love Ted,” Andromeda said simply. “You think _I_ should have denied myself happiness instead of Bellatrix?”

 

“You would have found another man to love - a _respectable_ man.”

 

“The same could be said of you.” Andromeda’s expression hardened. “There are other pureblood men besides Lucius. You would have found another man once the scandal died down.”

 

Narcissa rose to her feet, furious. “I _love_ Lucius - ”

 

“And I love Ted!” Andromeda shouted. “And Ted loves me. Lucius loves his status and power more than he loves you!”

 

Narcissa recoiled as if physically struck. “How dare you - ”

 

“And both you and Bellatrix loved your power and status more than you ever loved me,” Andromeda said. “You chose bigotry and power over your sister as surely as you both believed that Lucius would have chosen it over you.”

 

“That isn’t true!”

 

“Then it wouldn’t have mattered that I left.”

 

Narcissa stared at her, breathing heavily. Andromeda held her gaze for a long moment.

 

Finally, she relented slightly. “I’m sure he would stand with you now. We’re no longer under the thumbs of our parents, any of us.”

 

Andromeda didn’t really believe that. She wished she could, for Narcissa’s sake. Still, Narcissa dropped her gaze to Bellatrix, and the words seemed to smooth some of the jagged edges of the conversation.

 

They had reached an impasse. Whatever decisions they had made when they were children, they were locked into the paths they had chosen now.

 

Narcissa tentatively took Andromeda’s hand in her own loosely. Her shoulders were hunched and tense, and she didn’t quite meet Andromeda’s eyes as she said, barely above a whisper, “For what it is worth, both Lucius and I prefer a life without...” she glanced around anxiously, swallowed hard and then dropped her gaze to Bellatrix. A shiver ran through Narcissa. Bellatrix whined. Narcissa scratched her ears, took a breath and said softly, “We prefer a world without the Dark Lord in it.”

 

Bellatrix shifted, a low whine and a growl in her throat. She nipped lightly at Narcissa’s hand, shook herself, paced back and forth a few times then licked at Narcissa’s hand.

 

“Bellatrix disagrees,” Andromeda said softly, trying not to feel disappointed and hurt.

 

Narcissa squeezed Andromeda’s hand. “I don’t think she knows _what_ she thinks.”

 

“Don’t defend her.” Andromeda glanced at Narcissa sharply. “She was a _Death Eater_ \- one of the worst. She’s - she’s done...horrible things, and I - ” Her throat constricted.

 

“She has,” Narcissa said carefully. “But she is still your sister.”

 

“No, she isn’t. You both made that perfectly clear - ”

 

“I missed you, Andy,” Narcissa said. She held Andromeda’s hand tighter. “I was angry and hurt and confused, but I never stopped missing you and loving you. I know Bella didn’t either.”

 

Andromeda scoffed. She pulled her hand away. “You don’t know that. Only Bellatrix can say that and _look_ \- ” She gestured at Bellatrix, who lowered her head submissively, and Andromeda clenched her teeth. “This isn’t even really Bellatrix. There are so many things I want to tell her but I _can’t_ because it’s _not her_ and she won’t understand so - ”

 

Andromeda took a deep breath. “I can’t know what Bellatrix thinks. I can’t know what she plans to do, and I’m expected to help her get better on a hunch and a prayer that she won’t turn around and murder my family? My friends? _My daughter_ , Cissy.” She shook her head. “I can’t do that. I’m sorry. I thought - I thought I could but - ” She blinked back tears searing her eyes.

 

Narcissa sat back down in her chair and took a slow sip of Butterbeer. “I suppose that’s that then.”

 

“I suppose it is,” Andromeda murmured.

 

“Where do we go from here?”

 

A deafening silence followed. A wet nose nudged Andromeda’s hand. Looking up at Andromeda, Bellatrix licked at her hand gently.

 

It felt like an apology.

 

Taking a shaky breath, Andromeda sat back down as well. Bellatrix rested her head in her lap, and Andromeda ran her hands lightly over Bella’s fur, blinking hard against the stinging in her eyes.

 

Narcissa watched them thoughtfully. After a time, she said, “You say you don’t know what Bellatrix would do, but that’s not true.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Bellatrix saved your daughter.”

 

Andromeda’s hands stilled and her finger tips curled slightly to grip at the short fur on Bellatrix’s head. “She had lost her mind.”

 

“Even if that is true, she was able to connect you to your daughter. She made the choice to save her. She didn’t have to. It was incredibly risky to her, no matter how you look at it, and no one would have ever known if she had just...walked away.”

 

Andromeda didn’t know what to say to that.

 

Narcissa finished off her Butterbeer. “I...empathize with your concerns for your daughter.” Her expression twisted into a brief grimace. “I would not want Draco to face her in battle either. I am hoping that somehow I can shield him from following in his father’s footsteps.”

 

“Draco wants to become a Death Eater?”

 

“Draco idolizes his father. He has no idea what it’s actually like, what the Dark Lord is really - ” Her mouth snapped shut so fast her teeth clicked together, and her face paled slightly.

 

Andromeda leaned forward and took Narcissa’s hand. “You’re safe here. You can say - ”

 

Narcissa laughed wryly. “I am not safe anywhere. The Dark Lord has servants everywhere. You can never be sure - well, it is best to be cautious what one says of the Dark Lord.”

 

The kitchen door opened, and Sirius strolled inside with an easy grin and two handfuls of Firewhiskey bottles. “He hasn’t got any here. The things I’ve said about him, I would know.”

 

“How long have you been there?” Narcissa demanded.

 

“The whole time.” Sirius set a bottle of Firewhiskey in front of them, kicked a chair back and flopped into it. Leaning back to balance the chair on its hind legs, he rested his feet on the table and took a swig of Firewhiskey. “I know when people are up to trouble, dear Cissy. Just thought I’d let Andy handle it.”

 

“So you listened in on a _private conversation_?” Narcissa scolded.

 

“Someone needed to make sure you weren’t going to kill each other. Besides, Trixie knew I was there the whole time so obviously I was invited to - ”

 

Andromeda glared at him, and he deftly changed the topic.

 

“Anyway, you didn’t kill each other, and that calls for a celebration. Have some Firewhiskey.”

 

“I thought Mundungus stole all of it,” Andromeda mused.

 

“Only what I didn’t hide from him.”

 

“You didn’t think to bring glasses?” Narcissa asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Glasses are for cowards,” Sirius said, and took another swig of his Firewhiskey.

 

“Glasses are for civilized people,” Narcissa corrected.

 

“No,” Andromeda said, smiling slightly, “definitely for cowards.” She popped the cork from her bottle and took a sip. It burned going down but hit her stomach with a pleasant warmth that distracted her from the emotions twisted inside of her.

 

Narcissa rolled her eyes but the goading worked, and she drank from the bottle.

 

“You shouldn’t be so hard on Andy,” Sirius said suddenly. “I don’t want Bellatrix to get better either. I’m not sorry for it. She killed and tortured people. I fought beside Frank and Alice Longbottom. They were good people. They didn’t deserve what she did to them.”

 

Narcissa didn’t say anything.

 

“I have a better relationship with Bellatrix now than I’ve had since I was...five, maybe? And if Bellatrix gets better, I’d place money on her being the same now as she was then and she’ll be sent to Azkaban or given the Dementor’s Kiss. It’s better for everyone - better for her - if she stays the way she is now.”

 

Narcissa shook her head slowly. “I won’t abandon her,” she said.

 

“It’s not abandoning her. It’s doing what’s best for her.”

 

“It’s doing what _you_ think is best for her,” Narcissa rebuked. “Because you are too cowardly to give her a chance.”

 

Sirius snorted. “As if Bellatrix would ever join the Order.”

 

Andromeda held up a hand. “I’m not nearly drunk enough to consider Bellatrix joining the Order. Can we wait to have this argument until I’m about...halfway through my third bottle? I think that would be drunk enough.”

 

Sirius snapped his fingers. “Speaking of Trixie...” He pulled his wand out of his pocket. “ _Accio_ water bowl.”

 

Bellatrix’s metal water bowl sped through the open kitchen door a minute later into his outstretched hand.

 

“I’m not cleaning up the mess you just made,” Andromeda remarked when she saw it was empty.

 

Sirius set the bowl on the floor beside him and poured some Firewhiskey into it. “Come on, Trixie. You’ll like this.”

 

Bellatrix lumbered forward, nearly pulling Andromeda off her chair to sniff at the liquid in her bowl. She reared back, sneezing. Narcissa laughed to Andromeda’s surprise. Bellatrix shot her an annoyed look and shoved her snout into the bowl, licking it up.

 

Andromeda groaned. “This is a terrible idea. Cissy, stop him.”

 

Narcissa shook her head with a slight smirk. “I think it’s best to let Sirius learn from his own mistakes.”

 

“You assume he can learn!”

 

Sirius placed a hand dramatically over his chest. “Andromeda, you wound me!”

 

“Don’t be dramatic, Sirius,” Narcissa said. “I, however, will wound you if you even think of giving Bellatrix anymore.” She gazed pointedly at his hand which hovered near the edge of the table, holding his bottle of Firewhiskey.

 

Sirius rolled his eyes. “If you insist. Maybe we should come up with a drink game then to smooth things over a little. How about you tell us about all the ridiculous decorations at Malfoy Manor and we take a shot every time Lucius proves he has a gaudy sense of taste.”

 

“Are you trying to kill us?” Andromeda demanded, and Narcissa narrowed her eyes at them both. “Let me - Ted taught me one years ago - here, I’ll teach you...”

 

After that, Andromeda had difficulty remembering what happened. Sirius poured Bellatrix more Firewhiskey behind Narcissa’s back until Bellatrix began to stagger around the kitchen, bumping into things and knocking them over. Crookshanks came in at one point, Andromeda thought, and together he and Bellatrix opened some food cupboards they would have been unable to reach alone. They brought a bag of flour and some pots and plates crashing to the floor. Crookshanks had dashed under a plate display cabinet to hide when Narcissa had shooed them away. Drunkenly, Bellatrix ran after him straight into the cabinet, crashing through the display glass into the fine china, destroying everything and knocking the display cabinet over.

 

None of that, however, explained why she woke up on the kitchen floor in a pile with her head on Sirius’s chest, his head on Narcissa’s stomach and Bellatrix sprawled across all three of their legs with Crookshanks curled up on her side and purring loudly.

 

It also did not explain Molly Weasley towering over them, arms crossed and furious.

 

Sirius groaned. “‘ullo, Molly.”

 

“What in the name of Merlin did you four do to this kitchen?” she snapped.

 

Narcissa jerked awake, elbowing Andromeda in the ribs. “Whazzat? Shut up, Lucius, I’m sleeping.”

 

Andromeda groaned, clutching at her stomach.

 

Sirius laughed weakly. “Never thought I’d feel sorry for Lucius.”

 

“Oh no, you aren’t,” Molly scolded and grabbed Narcissa by her shoulders, hauling her to her feet - an impressive move given that Narcissa was much taller than her. “What do you think you’re even doing here? Sneaking around in the middle of the night - ”

 

“I was hardly sneaking as you could see,” Narcissa said cooly.

 

“Dumbledore will hear of this - ”

 

Narcissa stiffened. Andromeda sat up hastily, pushing Bellatrix off her legs, saying, “Molly, she was here to see me. I asked her to come over last night.”

 

Narcissa looked at her, and Andromeda saw the slight widening of her eyes in surprise.

 

Molly eyed her suspiciously. “Why would you do that?”

 

“Because she’s my sister,” Andromeda said coldly, and Narcissa’s eyes widened more before her expression softened, “and we left things on a bad note.”

 

“I meant - you could have waited until the morning!”

 

Andromeda successfully freed her feet from under Bellatrix who whined and grumbled at being disturbed. She stood and brushed her robes in a futile attempt to remove the flour Bellatrix had rubbed all over them in her sleep.

 

Giving up, she glared at Molly. “My reasons are none of your concern,” she said cooly.

 

“This is Order headquarters,” Molly retorted, “and _that woman_ is - ”

 

Andromeda closed the gap between them, towering over Molly who stared up at her defiantly, “My _sister_ so I suggest you be careful what you say next.”

 

Molly glared at her. Then she turned to Sirius and said, “I expect this kitchen to be spotless in the next few minutes. I need to wake the children.”

 

She slammed the kitchen door behind her. They winced and groaned.

 

Sirius draped an arm over his eyes. “Ordered about in my own home,” he moaned pathetically.

 

Andromeda grabbed his arm. “Get up.”

 

“No. Can’t make me.”

 

Andromeda pulled him halfway up, but when he remained dead weight, she gave up and dropped him. He moaned in pain. She ignored him.

 

“Come on,” she murmured to Narcissa. “You should get home before Lucius knows you’re missing.”

 

“He’ll be up already,” Narcissa said, following Andromeda to the front door. “I’ll tell him I woke up from a nightmare about Bellatrix and took a walk in the gardens. It won’t have been the first time it’s happened.”

 

Andromeda stopped, one hand on the door knob. She turned to Narcissa and spoke in a low voice so as not to wake the portraits. “I don’t regret the decisions I’ve made. But it wasn’t easy. Leaving, I mean. I had Ted, but I worried about you and Bella, what the fallout would be. And Ted and I, we were so young and so in love but still I wondered - what would happen if he left me?

 

“I was young and pregnant and about to be disowned by my whole family. Mother and Father would have wanted me to terminate or to give her up but I couldn’t. I didn’t mean to get pregnant but I wanted her, I loved her. And I don’t regret choosing my daughter. I will never regret that.

 

“But that doesn’t mean it was easy. I was so scared.” Andromeda dropped her gaze. “You act like it was so easy for me to leave. You never once considered what it was like for me - only for yourselves.”

 

She lifted her gaze to meet Narcissa’s somber eyes. “That’s what hurts the most. How utterly disposable I am.”

 

Narcissa, who had listened quietly as Andromeda spoke, sucked in a sharp breath at that. “Andy...”

 

Andromeda opened the door. “Are you safe to Apparate?”

 

“Yes, but don’t deflect.” Narcissa placed a delicate hand on Andromeda’s forearm. Softly, she said, “You are not disposable. You never were. That’s why it hurt so much when you left without saying goodbye.”

 

“You would have tried to stop me. I was scared of how you and Bella would react. And I was worried Mother and Father would find out before I could get away and - ” Andromeda swallowed hard, blinking back tears, a shiver running through her.

 

“We wouldn’t have let them hurt you,” Narcissa whispered.

 

“And risk you getting hurt because of me?” Andromeda shook her head. “Whatever I did, it would have hurt you, but I could minimize the damage. It was safer if you didn’t know...”

 

Narcissa laughed darkly, her eyes watering. Her hand tightened on Andromeda’s arm, and her expression hardened. “You’re just like Bellatrix.”

 

Andromeda blinked. “Excuse me?”

 

“Merlin, you two are so unbelievably alike, I could strangle you both.”

 

“I am _nothing_ like Bellatrix, no matter how much I look like her - ”

 

“Oh? You both left me. Both of you, without regard for what I thought, made decisions about what was best for me. You left me without a word. You, at least, didn’t make me think you were _dead_ which is a marginal improvement over Bellatrix.”

 

Andromeda thought to tell Narcissa that only Bellatrix knew why she had made the decisions she had but thought better of it. Insulting Narcissa’s intelligence wouldn’t help matters, regardless of how much the comparison to Bellatrix rankled her.

 

“Both of my sisters think what’s best is to leave me without explanation or even a word of goodbye, and you think _you’re_ the one who’s disposable?”

 

Andromeda placed a hand lightly over Narcissa’s, and Narcissa’s grip on her arm loosened. Andromeda smiled sadly. “I’m sorry, Cissy.” She drew Narcissa into a hug, and Narcissa leaned against her, resting her forehead against Andromeda’s shoulder.

 

“You should be,” Narcissa mumbled into Andromeda’s robes.

 

“I’m not sorry I left, but I’m so sorry about how I did it. I should have said goodbye. I should have left a letter. Something, anything.”

 

“You should have.” Narcissa sighed. “I should have considered what it meant for you to leave. I’m sorry. Both you and Sirius made it look so easy...”

 

Andromeda rubbed Narcissa’s back soothingly. “Maybe it’s time we all stopped leaving each other.”

 

Narcissa nodded, hugging her back at that. They stood like that for a long moment until Narcissa sighed heavily. “I should head back to the Manor before Lucius begins to wonder where I’ve gone,” she murmured into Andromeda’s shoulder.

 

Andromeda nodded and stepped back, letting her arms fall to her sides. “I know the situation hasn’t changed,” she said, “but I’m...I’m glad we talked.”

 

Narcissa looked at her curiously. “Hasn’t it?”

 

“We still...you’re still with...” Andromeda’s face screwed up in a grimace, a bitter taste in her mouth at the thought of Narcissa remaining with the Death Eaters. “And you still hold the same beliefs you always have.”

 

“I cannot put my son at risk,” Narcissa said slowly, “nor my husband. I will protect my family - as you will protect yours. Still that does not mean that everything is the same.”

 

Something loosened in Andromeda’s chest at those words, a tension she had carried for decades until she no longer noticed it as anything other than a part of her. Tears pricked her eyes, and she blinked them away.

 

Narcissa took her hand. “I’m not sure when I’ll be able to make it back here. I trust you will keep Bella safe. She needs you.” She bit her lip briefly as though hesitating to say her next words. “You will never get your answers if she remains the way she is now. Just...consider that. Please.”

 

Andromeda swallowed. “I will.”

 

Narcissa opened the door. Halfway out, she paused, ducked back in and pressed a quick kiss to Andromeda’s cheek - something they had not done since they were children. Narcissa could not quite meet Andromeda’s eyes as she slipped out the front door before Andromeda could recover from her surprise.

 

Andromeda stared at the door for a moment. Then she laughed, a soft surprised breath of air, and headed toward the kitchen. Her chest felt lighter than it had in decades. Nothing was fixed, not at all, not by any stretch of the imagination. But for the first time since Andromeda had left home at seventeen, terrified and pregnant, she dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be better.

 

Molly stormed back down the stairs and disappeared through door into the kitchen, and a minute later, yelling filtered up through the staircase. Andromeda rolled her eyes. Determined to rescue Sirius, she headed toward the kitchen door only for it open halfway there.

 

Bellatrix sprawled out onto the floor in the hallway, whining.

 

Andromeda covered her mouth to muffle her laughter. Bellatrix looked at her and whined pathetically.

 

“Oh no,” Andromeda giggled. “Poor Bella. Come here.” She helped Bellatrix to her feet. “Let’s get you up to our room.”

 

Sirius could take care of himself, after all, she reasoned.

 

And besides, it was his fault for bringing Firewhiskey into the equation. It was only fair he dealt with the consequences of his eavesdropping. Perhaps next time he wouldn’t be so quick to do it again.

 

Andromeda nodded to the confused group of teenagers they passed; Ron, Harry and Ginny all looked at Bellatrix in confusion. Hermione looked worried but shied away when Bellatrix stumbled past. Bellatrix whined a little, but Andromeda wasn’t sure if it was because of Hermione or because of her hangover.

 

Once settled into their room, Bellatrix crawled onto the bed and stared at Andromeda expectantly until she locked the bedroom door and joined her. Bellatrix pressed against her, her nose buried in Andromeda’s hair, and fell fast asleep.

 

Andromeda watched her for several minutes, sleep tugging at her. Her hand rested on Bellatrix’s side, rising and falling with each breath. Emotions swirled in her chest, a million thoughts chasing each other around her head until at last she whispered, “Good night, Bellatrix” and let the warmth of Bellatrix’s body, the softness of her fur, and the sound of her breaths lull her to sleep.

 

Things could be better.

 

If she tried - if they all tried - things could be better.


	19. Remember

 

The library was quiet. The whole house was. Everyone else had gone to sleep hours ago, but Hermione couldn’t. She hated all of this - the stress, the uncertainty, and Harry had been furious for the past two days. Hermione cried frequently because of something Harry said, Ginny was at his throat over it, and everyone was miserable.

 

Even Bellatrix felt the tension, which only made the matter worse. Despite having things smoothed over with Andromeda and Narcissa, Bellatrix had spent the day stalking around the house, restless and alert - Andromeda’s ever present shadow, growling at almost anyone who had gotten too close to her. Only Sirius and Hermione - and Tonks when she had stopped by for dinner - had been allowed within a few feet of her, which had been a constant disruption when attempting to clean. Trying to shut Bellatrix in her room had only resulted in more destroyed furniture.

 

Hermione rubbed her eyes. She had been so excited when she learned Harry was coming - terrified as well because he had been attacked, but so excited to see him too. She tried to be understanding - he had every right to be angry - but she was so tired...

 

The library door creaked open. Bellatrix watched her hesitantly from the doorway. Hermione tensed and rubbed her arm. Bellatrix started to back out of the library when Hermione asked, “Why?”

 

Her voice cracked. Bellatrix froze. Tilting her head, she regarded Hermione curiously.

 

“Why did you attack me?” Hermione asked, her voice breaking slightly. “You...you didn’t hurt Mr Weasley so why...?”

 

Bellatrix hung her head, whining.

 

“Is it...because he’s a pureblood, and I’m a...” Hermione swallowed, wondering if she dared use the word. Deciding she didn’t, she finished, “Just a muggleborn?”

 

Another whine, louder this time, and Bellatrix took a step back out into the hall, keeping her eyes averted. She shuffled restlessly.

 

“Was it because of that woman? Your aunt?”

 

Bellatrix growled softly and then stopped suddenly, panting nervously. All her muscles were tense. Her whole body seemed to vibrate with nervous energy.

 

“I can’t even imagine growing up with family like that,” Hermione said carefully. “I suppose I can see how easy it would be to fall into that kind of thinking. It’s all you ever knew. But Andromeda got out. Sirius too. So why didn’t you?”

 

Bellatrix tossed her head, took a step back and then froze. Shook her head again. Agitated, she panted heavily.

 

“I’m sorry,” Hermione said. “I don’t mean to...you don’t remember much, do you?”

 

Bellatrix turned intent eyes to her and stilled.

 

“Do you...do you even remember why you hated muggleborns?”

 

Bellatrix let out a high pitched whine, lowering her head, looking absolutely wretched.

 

Hermione frowned, heart breaking despite herself. A part of her wanted to remain angry. No matter what Bellatrix appeared to be on the outside, no matter what she was currently, she was a Death Eater. The portrait’s screaming and antagonizing had triggered something inside of Bellatrix. Underneath everything else was still a Death Eater who would kill her for nothing more than who her parents were.

 

_Don’t get close_ , she thought. _She’ll turn on you._

 

But the wolf looked so sad and confused, and Dumbledore clearly thought that Bellatrix could be reformed - or at least that she was worth giving the chance. Bellatrix clearly loved her sisters as her protectiveness of Andromeda earlier that day had shown. Andromeda was a blood traitor, but Bellatrix loved her anyway. Bellatrix had never hurt her - she hadn’t hurt Arthur Weasley either despite being a blood traitor too.

 

Hermione sighed, taking pity on the awkwardly shuffling wolf in the library doorway. The wolf who had howled and whined all night after attacking her, who had respected her desire for space ever since.

 

“You don’t even know why you did it, do you? You don’t understand what’s going on in your head, do you? Come here.”

 

Bellatrix did so. She paused out of arm's reach, licking her chops and shifting. Hermione shifted to the side of the couch and patted the space beside her.

 

“This has to be so confusing for you. I’m sorry. I can tell you feel badly about what you did, and I forgive you,” Hermione said. “I’m going to read for a bit. You can join me if you want. I can’t sleep either - um, obviously.”

 

Bellatrix hesitated, then climbed onto the couch next to her, curled up and rested her head on Hermione’s lap. Hermione held her breath. Bellatrix had gotten up on the couch before, but she had never done this. Swallowing, Hermione slowly pat the top of Bellatrix’s head and then scratched behind her ears. The fur was soft and thick, and Bellatrix relaxed further, resting the full weight of her head on Hermione’s lap and uncurling slightly to press her shoulder against Hermione’s waist.

 

Hermione shifted to be more comfortable. Bellatrix sighed heavily. Hermione opened her book and began to read, murmuring softly as she stroked the silky fur under her fingers.

 

It did not take long for Hermione’s eyes to begin to feel heavy. Nor, apparently, did it take long for Bellatrix to fall asleep under the combined warmth of the fire, the sound of Hermione’s voice and the feeling of fingers running through her fur. Hermione tilted her head back against the sofa, loath to disturb Bellatrix so quickly after she had fallen asleep. Closing her itchy eyes, she resolved to give Bellatrix a few minutes of rest before moving her.

 

They fell asleep.

 

 

Ginny found them like that in the morning. Hermione woke to her shaking her shoulder, a wicked grin on her face.

 

“Wow, Hermione, I never thought you’d be one to sleep with a Death Eater.”

 

Hermione blushed and slapped at Ginny’s shoulder playfully. Ginny stepped out of the way, laughing. Bellatrix grumbled as Hermione stretched, trying to work the soreness out of her muscles. Couches weren’t the most comfortable place to sleep, and Hermione was sure Bellatrix’s shoulder or something had gotten jammed between her hip and her rib at some point during the night.

 

It took both Ginny and Hermione to shove Bellatrix off of Hermione’s lap, reluctant as she was to be woken. Eventually, she shot them both a reproachful look that Hermione was certain she had learned from Crookshanks and slid onto the floor.

 

Bellatrix followed them closely as they made their way down to the kitchen. Ginny looked over her shoulder and then to Hermione with a raised eyebrow.

 

“She’s taken a liking to you,” Ginny said.

 

“I think it’s Crookshanks,” Hermione said. “They’ve bonded, and Crookshanks is my cat. It’s an association, that’s all.”

 

Ginny shook her head. “Crookshanks doesn’t explain why she’s been pining after you the past few days.”

 

“She’s not _pining_. Don’t be ridiculous.”

 

Ginny shrugged.

 

“I’ve been nice to her,” Hermione insisted as they entered the kitchen. “I was nice to her when no one else in this house was. It makes sense.”

 

“I guess,” Ginny said, clearly unconvinced. “Just be careful? She’s still a Death Eater.”

 

Hermione looked away, shot a glance at Bellatrix, rubbed her forearm arm and murmured, “I can never forget.”

 

Sirius and Andromeda both sat at the kitchen table, nursing cups of coffee, but Bellatrix sat beside Hermione’s chair when she and Ginny sat down. Sirius and Andromeda shot each other surprised looks, and Mrs Weasley frowned at the sight. Hermione smiled at her in what she hoped was a reassuring way, but Mrs Weasley’s frown did not lessen, and Hermione averted her gaze.

 

“Bellatrix, why don’t you go sit by Andromeda, dear.” Mrs Weasley spoke in a carefully polite tone that was contradicted by the forceful way she set a plate of bacon on the table.

 

Bellatrix ignored her and rested her head on Hermione’s lap, staring up at her with beseeching eyes. Hermione couldn’t resist: she scooped some bacon on to her plate as the twins and Ron trickled into the room. Though eager, Bellatrix was careful with her teeth when Hermione held out a strip of bacon. She swallowed the bacon nearly whole and licked the bacon grease from Hermione’s fingers before she reach for another piece.

 

The twins and Ginny laughed.

 

Hermione realized too late that Harry had arrived. She flinched under his dark look.

 

“Harry - ”

 

Harry pulled his chair out forcefully and sat down. “It’s fine, Hermione. You don’t have to explain why you’re friendly with a Death Eater to me.”

 

Tears sprang to Hermione’s eyes. “I’m only trying to help the Order. Dumbledore thinks - ”

 

Harry stabbed at some sausage. “She attacked you.”

 

“She’s sorry she did it - ”

 

“She’s _sorry_?”

 

“Harry, enough,” SIrius said, frowning at Harry. “If you should be angry with anyone, be angry with me. I’m the one who found her in the Forbidden Forest. I knew for years who and what she was. I chose to keep her secret until Voldemort returned. I chose not to tip off the Aurors and let Dumbledore make the call instead. Hermione is only guilty of trusting Dumbledore’s judgement.”

 

Harry deflated a little at that. He looked at her, ashamed, and then surprised. Bellatrix had brought her front paws up onto the table, pinning him with an intense stare. Hermione nudged her, feeling tense and anxious. Bellatrix looked at her. Hermione bit her lip, placed a hand on the side of Bellatrix’s head and pushed her sideways until Bellatrix dropped her paws back to the floor.

 

“I know this is a lot, Harry,” Sirius said more gently after a brief pause. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m sorry, Hermione,” Harry said, and he looked genuinely ashamed.

 

“It’s okay,” Hermione said, placing a hand on Bellatrix’s back. Bellatrix nudged her hip with her nose, and Hermione hesitantly fed her another piece of bacon.

 

“I just don’t understand why Dumbledore thinks she’s changed,” Harry said. He stabbed his food again, his anger rising once more. “Or why he thinks Mrs Malfoy can be trusted. Mr Malfoy was _there_! He was more than happy to see Voldemort back - ”

 

Andromeda cleared her throat. “My sister is not her husband. Do not hold her responsible for his actions. I’ve discussed this with her, and things aren’t as simple as you’d maybe like them to be - as any of us would like them to be.”

 

Mrs Weasley scoffed. “I’m sure she would never dream of lying to you.” Andromeda glared at her, but Mrs Weasley continued with a slight frown at Harry, “I understand the feeling, Harry, dear. But Dumbledore has never steered us wrong. He must have his reasons.” She looked doubtful, however, and Hermione didn’t like the way Harry and Ron looked at her as though she were a potential ally in their argument.

 

Andromeda, with thinly veiled aggravation, said, “Dumbledore has left Bellatrix to my care and to Narcissa’s. Whatever you think of his decision doesn’t matter.” Then, before Mrs Weasley could retort, she asked, “What is the plan for today? Which room are we cleaning?”

 

Mrs Weasley pursed her lips, but they began discussing the house and the rooms still needing to be cleaned.

 

 

The drawing room needed one more morning to truly finish, they decided, although they left the rattling desk alone as they had not been able to get Moody to take a look at what was inside yet.

 

“I want this tapestry down,” Sirius said to Andy. “I suspect my mother put a Permanent Sticking charm on it, but maybe there’s some way to get it down anyway.”

 

“I’m sure she secured it as well as she did her portrait, but we can try,” Andy said doubtfully.

 

Bellatrix sat in front of the tapestry, staring at it. Her eyes roamed over the names, top to bottom, none of them familiar until she reached the lower branches of the tree: _Cygnus Black III_ and _Druella Rosier._ Her lips twitched up, partially exposing her teeth. The names sparked something in her mind, some connection, some memory just out of reach.

 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Andromeda watching her. Bella glanced at her then back at the names. Underneath, she saw _Bellatrix Black_ \- Bellatrix. That was her name. Her eyes followed the gold thread connecting her name to _Cygnus Black III_ and _Druella Rosier_. Her parents? Why then did she get an anxious, agitated feeling in the pit of her stomach at the mere mention of their names?

 

Her eyes followed the other gold threads branching off from their names. One connected to a burn mark next to Bella’s name and on the other side of it was _Narcissa Black._  Narcissa’s name had two double gold lines connecting to _Lucius Malfoy_ (Bellatrix’s lips twitched, exposing her canines) and a single line connecting from both _Narcissa Black_ and _Lucius Malfoy_ to the name _Draco Malfoy_. Bellatrix felt a soft warmth in the center of her chest. Draco... Draco... The name felt familiar...

 

Her eyes moved back along the threads. She shifted, thinking she understood: this tapestry was a guide to the pack. Human packs were more complicated than wolf packs, it seemed. Much larger and more interconnecting. But if this were a guide to the pack, then where was Andromeda?

 

She followed the thread branching off from Narcissa’s name to _Lucius Malfoy_ and then from both of them to _Draco Malfoy_. Bellatrix shifted. _Draco..._ She knew that name. Draco... Narcissa’s pup. She knew the pup. He was small, so small and fragile and unbelievably tiny in her...arms? Yes, her arms. She had cared for him when Narcissa had been too tired: fed him, played with him, bathed him, rocked him to sleep. Protected him from harm, nearly died for him.

 

Phantom aches and pains flared around Bellatrix’s body as she tried to remember more. Giving up, she turned her eyes back to her own name. A double gold thread connected her name to another: _Rodolophus Lestrange_.

 

Bellatrix growled, hatred and dread burning in her chest.

 

Movement caught the corner of her eye. Bellatrix snapped her head to look. Andy froze. Bellatrix glanced around the room: everyone had stopped what they were doing, looking between Andromeda and Bellatrix with concern and a hint of fear. Bellatrix stopped growling and turned back to the tapestry, subdued.

 

She returned to the mysterious burn between her name and Cissy’s where, if she were correct, Andy’s name should have been written. She scanned the tapestry, seeing several more burn marks where names should have been, including where Sirius’s name should have been next to _Regulus Black._ Bella felt a twinge of sadness at Regulus’s name. She could not remember what had happened, but she knew he had passed, barely into adulthood when he died.

 

She chose not to dwell on that thought. Turning her head to look up at Andy, she whined and scratched a paw at where Andy’s name had been burned from the tapestry.

 

Andy smiled sadly. “You won’t find my name, Bella. It was burned off when I was disowned - when I ran away to save my daughter and to be with Ted.”

 

Bella stopped scratching, resting her paw against the tapestry, the pads on her foot expanding from the weight to cover all the names connected to the burn mark. Tilting her head, she whined, not understanding.

 

Andy knelt beside her. “Do you remember? Kreacher said that...that you were the one to burn my name off. He said you laughed.”

 

Bella’s ears drooped, and she whimpered. She couldn’t remember. She couldn’t...

 

No. That wasn’t true. She remembered...something. Anger. Hurt. Betrayal. Despair. Confusion. Andy had left in the middle of the night without a word or a letter. Had just taken her things and disappeared. She had been off for weeks, withdrawn and subdued, seemingly preoccupied with something. But rather than talk to her and Cissy, rather than trust them, she had run without a word. It took them days to find out what happened, to piece together why Andy had run. To learn that she was pregnant and had eloped.

 

Aunt Walburga had wanted to blast Andy off the tapestry herself but Bellatrix had been so angry, so hurt, she needed to take it out somehow. She had laughed, but it had not been a happy sound.

 

Bella whined and growled in frustration, pawing again at the tapestry, staring up into Andy’s eyes. She wished she could speak. She wished she could communicate. She was so tired of not being able to convey her thoughts. She wished she could show Andy the memory, to make her understand -

 

And then suddenly, Bella was seeing images that weren’t there, that couldn’t be there: Andy and Ted in a hospital, holding a newborn baby; a young Andy, Cissy, and a black haired girl - _me, that’s me_ , Bellatrix thought - playing in the gardens of a large and gloomy estate; Andy sobbing, whispering terrified, “I’m pregnant, what am I going to do, Ted?”

 

Andy gasped, and something in her mind pushed back against Bellatrix. Without thinking, Bella latched on and pulled as Andy pushed her out of her mind, dragging Andy into her own.

 

Bellatrix shoved the memory to the forefront of her mind.

 

_“That worthless, good for nothing - that blood traitor, ungrateful bitch,” Aunt Walburga raged. She grabbed her glass and flung it at the wall. It shattered, splashing wine and glass shards everywhere._

 

_Bellatrix watched from near the doorway. Narcissa stood behind her, and when the glass shattered, she felt Narcissa press closer to her back and flinch. Bella looked her over. Narcissa stared at the ground, her long blonde hair obscuring her expression._

 

_Father stood in the middle of the room, solemn. Mother sat on the couch, face buried in her hands._

 

_Aunt Walburga pinned her furious gaze on Bellatrix and Narcissa. Bellatrix moved to hide Narcissa from view._

 

_“How could this happen? Have we not raised you better?” Aunt Walburga spat._

 

_Anger burned her from the inside out, and Bellatrix snarled back, “We have done nothing wrong.”_

 

_“Yet,” Aunt Walburga snapped. She paced like a wild animal. “But you refuse to marry! You refuse to do your duty as a pureblood woman - as a member of this family, as a Black. Maybe if you had set a better example, Andromeda would not be disgracing herself and this family by mating with a filthy mudblood!”_

 

_Narcissa gasped behind her. Bellatrix grit her teeth, and Mother sobbed into her hands._

 

_Out of the corner of her eye, Bellatrix saw two mops of black hair and wide fearful eyes peering around the doorway. Sirius, only slightly bigger than Regulus, pushed him back out of sight when Aunt Walburga spun to continue her pacing in front of the fireplace._

 

_“What happens if your bad example costs me my sons or your parents your sister?” Aunt Walburga spat._

 

_Sirius’s eyes widened, nearly round and bugging out of his head when Aunt Walburga stormed back toward Bellatrix. He retreated back around the door frame until only one eye and a sliver of his body was visible._

 

_Narcissa’s hands fisted in the back of Bellatrix’s robes, and Bellatrix did not need to see her face to know it was white with terror, the same as Sirius._

 

_“Bellatrix has been a model daughter,” Father said, and Bellatrix felt hope lurch in her chest only to be snuffed out with his next words. “In everything but this.” He held up a hand to forestall Aunt Walburga, his gaze hard. “I have allowed Bellatrix this freedom as she is everything I could have asked for in a daughter. Narcissa, too. I do not appreciate you slandering them.” He turned to Bellatrix. “However, I expect you to take your marriage prospects more seriously from now on. Understood?”_

 

_“Understood,” Bellatrix growled. Hatred burned in her gut. How dare Aunt Walburga blame her for Andromeda? To slander Narcissa and Sirius and Regulus?_

 

_How dare Andromeda put her in this position?_

 

_Bellatrix pulled out her wand and pointed it at the tapestry. She blasted Andromeda’s name, leaving nothing more than a scorch mark between her name and Narcissa’s, and she laughed bitterly at the shocked and furious look on Aunt Walburga’s face._

 

_Behind her, Kreacher crept past the doorway, gently guiding Sirius - and no doubt Regulus, whom Bellatrix would bet was listening just out of sight - away from the door._

 

_“You think yourself the only one furious with that blood traitor whore?” Bellatrix spat. “Think again. Come, Cissy.”_

 

_Narcissa didn’t look up as she obediently followed Bellatrix to the fireplace. Bellatrix handed her a pinch of Floo powder first, not wishing to leave Narcissa alone with a furious Aunt Walburga, nor their parents, for even a second. Once Narcissa was through, she tossed her own Floo powder into the fireplace and stepped into the green flames, calling out, “Black Manor.”_

 

_Now alone, Bellatrix turned to Narcissa. “Cissy? Are you alright?”_

 

_Narcissa flinched away from Bellatrix. Bellatrix’s chest ached._

 

_“I’m sorry,” Bellatrix whispered._

 

_“Do you think Andy will come home?” Narcissa spoke so quietly Bellatrix almost could not hear her._

 

_Bellatrix frowned. She wanted to lash out, to scream and rage and say she did not care - but that wouldn’t be fair to Narcissa, and it wasn’t what she needed right now._

 

_“I don’t think so,” she said softly. She drew Narcissa into her arms._

 

_Narcissa rested her forehead against Bellatrix’s shoulder. “Do you hate her?”_

 

_“Aunt Walburga? Of course, I do. She’s an awful old bat - ”_

 

_“Bella.”_

 

_Bellatrix fell silent. Then, “Yes. Of course, I hate her.” Though angry, her words lacked conviction, and she knew Narcissa could tell. She rested her cheek on the top of Narcissa’s head. “She left us without saying anything. She ran off with some fucking mudblood and left us to deal with the fallout. She won’t be coming back. Mother and Father wouldn’t take her back even if she did. She’s gone. You just have to accept that.”_

 

_“Maybe we could go to her, convince her to come back - ”_

 

_Bellatrix felt a flash of panic. Grabbing Narcissa firmly by her shoulders, she pushed Narcissa back and met her startled gaze._

 

_“No. You must not contact her, Cissy. If Mother and Father found out that either of us spoke to her - ”_

 

_“But she’s our sister, Bellatrix, surely there is something - ”_

 

_“She’s no sister of mine, and she’s no sister of yours,” Bellatrix snapped, and Narcissa fell silent, staring at her in shock with wide, watery eyes. Fury and terror rose in equal measure: fury with Andromeda for putting them in this position, terror that Narcissa would do something Bellatrix couldn’t protect her from just as Andromeda had done._

 

_“You must never speak of her again,” Bellatrix ordered._

 

_Narcissa pulled away from Bellatrix and, without another glance in her direction, ran to her room._

 

_Cursing, Bellatrix went to her own room, threw up a silencing charm and grabbed the heaviest book she could and threw it at the wall. With a scream that made her throat raw, she blasted the book to pieces._

 

_“Fuck you, Andromeda, you bitch,” Bellatrix spat, panting for breath. Tears stung at her eyes. She swiped at them, sniffing._

 

_“I hate you,” she whispered, as though saying the words would make them true. “I fucking hate you.”_

 

_But she didn’t._

 

Bellatrix felt Andy trying to pull out of her mind, but Bellatrix did not know how to control what she was doing any further than she had already done, and the flood of relief at being understood made her unable to figure out how to let go of the hold she had on Andy’s mind.

 

Other thoughts flitted through Bella’s mind, random and uncontrolled, chaotic - she sat in the dark in the tall grass outside Andromeda’s house near the trees, ordering a distressed Pinky, “Tell Cissy...nothing. Tell her you couldn't find me. That - ”

 

The memory skipped to another, of Bellatrix collapsed in the forest, watching wolves drag a deer carcass to her - adrenaline pounded through her veins as she tore through the valley, chasing a deer with her wolf pack on either side of her -

 

She stared into the mirror blankly as Mother fussed with her wedding veil, and Narcissa watched subdued beside her, murmuring the moment Mother ducked out of the room and they were alone together, “Do you want this?” and Bellatrix forced a smile and said “Yes” while thinking about how her marriage would secure Narcissa’s marriage to Lucius, would make her sister’s happiness possible and that she _did_ want more than anything -

 

Sirius scrambled up her back with all the enthusiasm a toddler could muster, and Bellatrix laughed even as he nearly tipped her over, secured him on her back and took off jogging through the garden while he giggled - Regulus, who couldn’t be more than sixteen, hissed when Bellatrix pressed a cold cloth to the Dark Mark on his forearm, the skin around it inflamed and she murmured, “It will stop hurting soon, I’m so proud of you, Regulus, you’ve done this whole family proud” and Regulus smiled weakly at her through the pain -

 

Dora fell into the lake and Bellatrix bounded into the lake after her, she wouldn’t let Andromeda’s daughter drown, she _couldn’t_ -

 

“Andromeda!”

 

Sirius’s voice broke through the memories, startling Bellatrix, and suddenly she was reeling back as Sirius turned Andromeda to look at him, the connection broken.

 

“Are you okay?” Sirius asked Andy.

 

Andy blinked rapidly, reeling. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She touched them as though surprised to find she was crying.

 

“I...yes, I’m fine,” she said, shrugging Sirius’s hands off her shoulders.

 

“What happened?”

 

“I’ll tell you later,” Andy said with a pointed look at the children and Molly who were watching, anxious and confused.

 

Bellatrix slipped out of the room, head fuzzy and aching. She went to Buckbeak’s room, gave him a hasty and sloppy bow and then curled up in a darkened corner away from the windows that had curtains pulled wide to let in as much light as possible. Crookshanks entered the room and made a beeline for her, ignoring Buckbeak completely who snorted in offense.

 

Crookshanks climbed on top of her, kneading her side for a bit and then curled up on her back, purring loudly.

 

Several minutes later, Bellatrix’s ears perked at the sound of footsteps hesitantly approaching the door. She sniffed the air. Andy.

 

“Bella?” Andy asked softly, pushing the door open to peek inside. “Are you in here?”

 

Bellatrix grumbled in response, her head still fuzzy.

 

Andy closed the door behind her. She gave Buckbeak a bow and, once he had returned it, tiptoed over to her, skirting the edge of the room to avoid getting too close to Buckbeak who watched her closely with sharp eyes. She sat beside Bella and lifted Bella’s head into her lap.

 

They sat in silence like that for a long time. Andy ran her fingers through Bella’s fur thoughtfully.

 

“I saw you that morning,” she whispered at length. “I didn’t know it was you. I thought it was a stray dog. And you...you only saw Dora from a distance, for only a few minutes, but you remembered her. You remembered her, and you _saved_ her. Because she was my daughter. I don’t know how to thank you.”

 

Thank her for what? Bellatrix had only been doing her duty as a member of the pack.

 

“I should have said... _something_. When I left,” Andy said, bending over to press her forehead against the top of Bella’s head. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I thought...I thought you’d hate me.”

 

Her fingers fisted in Bella’s fur. “But you swallowed the pureblood rhetoric, and you believed it too. I know you did. What was I supposed to think? And then you went and joined the Death Eaters after I left, and I thought - ”

 

Andy took a deep breath and let it out shakily. “Cissy was right. I’ll never get any closure unless you get better. I’ll never know anything if you can’t tell me.” She huffed a laugh. “And I can’t even yell at you like this. Merlin, there is so much I’m just _dying_ to say to you. But you wouldn’t understand any of it, would you?”

 

A light thump. Bellatrix lifted her head. Andy rested her head back against the wall, staring at the ceiling and blinking back tears.

 

“You told Cissy not to contact me. She wanted to - we could have - maybe she would have come around if only we had - and _you_ scared her into not doing it.” Andy hissed a breath between her teeth. “God damn it, Bella. Fuck you.”

 

Bellatrix growled softly. She had only been protecting Narcissa from being expelled from the pack as Andy had. She had been doing her duty to protect Cissy.

 

“Don’t give me that,” Andy snapped. “I don’t care why you thought you were doing it. The point is, you didn’t think I was worth the risk. When you come right down to it, I wasn’t worth going after.”

 

That wasn't true. Bellatrix lifted her head and glared at Andy. Andy gazed back with a determined expression.

 

“What? You think I’m not being fair? Then _fight_ me. Get better. Talk to me, fight with me, yell and scream and break things. Whatever you have to do. _Make me believe you_.”

 

Bellatrix huffed at the none too subtle challenge. How was she supposed to do any of that? She remembered more than she had, but it was all in bits and pieces, and what she did remember she still did not fully understand.

 

Still, she lowered her head back to Andy’s lap and sighed, relaxing against her. Crookshanks’s purring faltered as her sides rose and fell dramatically with her sigh, rocking him. His purring picked up volume once more when he was settled again.

 

Andy resumed petting her. “Do you remember when we were little? We were inseparable. The three of us, really, once Narcissa was old enough to walk. We would play in the gardens and when Cissy got tired, you and I would take turns carrying her on our backs so she didn’t have to get left behind. She cried so hard the one time we left her behind, and we felt so terrible... You would try to carry her the longest. I always knew when you were getting tired, but you’d insist you were fine. I think you felt like you had to be the one to carry her because you were the eldest. That it was your job and that letting me do it was a failure on your part somehow.”

 

Bellatrix closed her eyes and listened to Andy’s voice. Behind her eyelids, a picture formed as Andy spoke; one of three young girls, the eldest with long black hair and dark eyes, carrying a smaller girl with pale blonde hair and blue eyes on her back as they hiked along a forest trail with another girl with brown hair trailing after them. Behind them, a house elf kept a respectful distance, watching closely in case of trouble.

 

Then the image shifted. Bellatrix no longer saw the scene as though an outsider, drawing details about the eldest girl from snatches of Andy’s memory, but seeing the trail as though from her eyes.

 

“Bella,” said a voice behind her - the young girl with brown hair - _Andy_. “I think we should go back. Mother and Father don’t want us going out this far. Pinky is starting to get antsy.”

 

The house elf - Pinky - wrung her tiny hands together, eyes wide and worried. “Miss Bella, you’re going to get yourself in trouble with the Mistress and Master if you go too much further - ”

 

The girl through whom Bellatrix viewed the scene - _Bella, Bellatrix, me, this is me_ \- stopped and turned around. “I don’t think it’s your place to question me, elf.”

 

Pinky’s eyes went wider. “Miss Bella, your mother and father ordered me to - ”

 

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and kept walking. She shifted the blonde haired girl on her back - Cissy - to hold her better.

 

“Don’t talk to Pinky like that Bella!” Andy protested. “She’s just following orders. She’s trying to look out for us!”

 

Bella sighed. “Fine. Cissy’s practically asleep on my back anyway. Merlin, she’s heavy.”

 

“Shut up, Bella,” Cissy mumbled against Bella’s back.

 

Andy placed a hand on Cissy’s back. “Let me carry her again for a bit.”

 

Cissy groaned and wrapped her arms more tightly around Bella’s neck. “Dun wanna move.”

 

Bella smiled. “Don’t worry, Andy. I’m fine. I’ve got her. You’ll have plenty of time to carry her soon once I’m at Hogwarts.”

 

Bellatrix opened her eyes, attention returning to the hands stroking her fur and the vibrations of the cat purring loudly against the side of her stomach. Ignoring Crookshanks’s mew of protest at her movement, she raised herself up to lick at Andy’s cheek. The salt from her tears still lingered on her face.

 

“Do you remember, Bella?” Andy’s fingers fisted in Bella’s fur. “You...you’re starting to remember things. Do you remember when we were little? When we were...” Andy trailed off, and Bellatrix wondered if she were about to say _happy_ but thought better of it. She swallowed and said instead, “When we were close? Or do you just remember everything that...that came after?”

 

Did she? Bellatrix thought back to the girls on the forest trail. It had started as an image painted by Andy’s words, but it had shifted so strangely. Was it a memory? Or something she imagined to go along with Andy’s words? She couldn’t be sure, and she hated it.

 

Andy sighed. “No, you can’t remember that - yet. Otherwise we wouldn’t be sitting here.”

 

Bellatrix didn’t know what Andy was talking about. It didn’t seem to matter, as Andy appeared to be talking more to to herself now.

 

“One day you’ll remember and then we’ll see - ” Andy stopped. Then she said, “You used Legilimency. How did you...do you remember how...can we use it to communicate?”

 

Bellatrix’s ears drooped. She had no idea how she had done it. Only that she had so desperately needed to be understood.

 

“That’s okay,” Andy said soothingly. “It’s still a good sign. You’re remembering things. That’s...that’s good.”

 

It didn’t sound good.

 

Andy put on a brave smile and gently removed Bella’s head from her lap. “Let’s go back to the others. I promised Sirius I would help him try to get that tapestry down. If he succeeds, I need to make sure he doesn’t burn it before we ask Cissy if she wants it.” Her expression twisted in distaste for a moment, and Bellatrix didn’t understand. It was a history of the pack, nothing more.

 

But no... It was more than that, wasn’t it? Andy and Sirius weren’t on it. Because they had betrayed the pack by being blood traitors. Or...no...that wasn’t right. The pack had betrayed them by running them off? That felt...closer...but still not quite right.

 

Bellatrix sighed heavily, her sides rising and falling again, bouncing Crookshanks who shot her a reproachful look before hopping off of her and slinking out the door.

 

It was difficult keeping all these thoughts and concepts in her head. In the memories, everything felt like it made perfect sense, but none of it made any sense when she thought of it in the here and now. It all made sense individually. All the pieces seemed right in isolation, but she could not make them fit together.

 

Not wanting to think too much more about it, and reluctant to leave Andy’s side, Bellatrix stood and followed Andy back into the drawing room and watched as they struggled in vain to remove the tapestry from the wall.


	20. Uncovering

****The cleaning moved to the dining room, and in an effort to prevent any more incidents, Sirius set about giving Bellatrix tasks, the first of which was to help him clear out the spiders living in one of the dressers in the room. They were massive, as large as some of the dinner plates Bellatrix had seen in the kitchen. That did not concern her, however, as she had seen much larger spiders in the Forbidden Forest, and - when Sirius threw open the doors again after Ron fled the room and said “Go at it, Trixie” - she happily snatched up spiders in her teeth as they tried to scurry away and crushed them.

 

Andromeda winced at the crunching sound each time Bellatrix attacked a spider and was less than pleased when Bellatrix would toss them aside, broken and twitching on the floor, to attack the next one. Bellatrix’s enthusiasm brought Crookshanks into the spirit of the hunt, and together they managed to ferret out and kill most of the spiders as the children and the adults focused on cleaning up the bodies after them.

 

Andromeda and Sirius spent most of the time cleaning the room bickering over one object or another. When Sirius went to toss all of the china - which bore the Black family crest and motto - carelessly into a sack, Andromeda snatched the pieces from his hands, hissing, “Cissy will murder me if you break these. What if she wants them?”

 

Sirius snorted. “What’s she going to do with them? I’m sure she won’t even notice. Just toss them in the bag.”

 

“We have to ask Cissy first, I’ll not be the one to deal with the fallout if you go throwing out Black family heirlooms without at least asking her - ”

 

“These are hardly heirlooms. And I’m the one tossing this rubbish, I don’t see why _you_ care, it’ll be me Narcissa comes after - ”

 

“No, it won’t, because Cissy doesn’t expect anything of _you_ , she expects better from _me_ \- ”

 

“I’m wounded. Truly.” Sirius rolled his eyes and scooped several pieces of china off a shelf into the bag. “There, you tried to stop me, but I am chaos incarnate, nothing is safe from my vengeance, blah blah blah, toss the china in the fucking bag, Andy.”

 

Bella looked up from her game with Crookshanks. Crookshanks had chased a rat out from under a cabinet displaying all manner of shiny objects, and she and Crookshanks took turns blocking off its escape routes and batting it around. Finding the argument between Andy and Sirius more entertaining at the moment, she snatched the rat up in her jaws to pause their game and padded over to sit between Sirius and Andy, looking back and forth between them as they argued, the rat wriggling in her jaws.

 

Crookshanks mewed reproachfully. Bellatrix ignored him. He batted at the rat’s tail, clearly irritated by the interruption.

 

Andy still held on to the china pieces in her hands. “Maybe I want them. Am I not allowed to have nice things?”

 

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Oh? You want them?”

 

“Ted has been wanting to get some new china to replace ours.”

 

Sirius’s eyebrows climbed higher. “ _Ted_ wants china with a pureblood crest and motto on it?”

 

“Ted appreciates irony and making my ancestors spin in their graves.”

 

Sirius was about to retort when the rat in Bella’s mouth regained enough energy to start squeaking and thrashing furiously, drawing his and Andy’s attention.

 

“Bella, what is _in your mouth_?” Andy asked, her voice high and strained. “ _Put that down now._ ”

 

Bellatrix stared at her.

 

“Bella, put that down, don’t you dare - ”

 

Bellatrix bolted from the room, Crookshanks streaking after her.

 

“ _Bellatrix, I swear to Merlin if I find that in my bed -_!”

 

Bellatrix stopped outside their bedroom door. If she couldn’t play with it in Andy’s room, where could they go? Maybe Buckbeak would like to join the game.

 

Buckbeak, it turned out, did not understand the game at all, and killed and ate the rat within a few minutes of them entering the room. Crookshanks cried and hissed at Buckbeak, who watched him with a critical eye. Nervously, Bellatrix picked Crookshanks up in her mouth, causing Crookshanks to cry louder, and carried him from the room. She set him down in the hallway. He hissed and batted at her nose then stalked off.

 

With Crookshanks giving her the cold shoulder, Bellatrix wandered dejectedly back to the dining room.

 

Andromeda and Sirius worked together more smoothly with the rest of the dining room. Andy grabbed her own sack to carefully place some pieces of china inside, spelled the bag to keep the china from breaking, and gave it to Bellatrix with the order to take it to their room. Bellatrix grabbed the bag in her mouth, brought it to their room and returned to the dining room to see Andy and Sirius look at each other, nod, and then sweep a bunch of old tarnished photographs into a bag together, ignoring the outraged screams from the people depicted as the glass of the frames shattered.

 

 

As Sirius, Andy and the children all moved through the different rooms, Kreacher attempted to steal back items from the sacks Sirius was using to throw items out. He glared at the sacks Andromeda used, where she often pointedly dropped something of value into it, usually something related to the family such as jewelry - or sometimes something Sirius hated in particular just to annoy him - that she had Bellatrix run up to their room for safekeeping until Narcissa dropped by again and could look through it for anything she might like to keep. Kreacher did not attempt to steal anything from these sacks, perhaps content that a “worthy” member of the family would be backing the decisions regarding these items.

 

Bellatrix watched Kreacher attempt to remove items from the sacks that Sirius filled with things to throw away - often unsuccessfully - until she decided, when Sirius’s back was turned while he snapped at Kreacher, to grab the item from the sack Kreacher had been trying to remove. She slunk around the perimeter of the room, slipped out the door, and dropped the leather gloves into the hallway.

 

It was a game to her, and one that Sirius seemed to hate. Catching on to what she was doing, he started batting her away from the sacks with increasing irritability until one day his hand caught her hard on the nose. Bellatrix yelped and backed away, startled.

 

“Sorry. Accident,” he mumbled, though he did not seem sorry at all. Andromeda glared at him but said nothing.

 

Bellatrix spent the rest of the day wandering the house, getting increasingly restless. Everyone was busy with the cleaning, and with her one game being taken away, she did not know what else to do with herself.

 

She stalked past the latest room being cleaned, irritated. From inside she heard Sirius’s voice threatening Kreacher with clothes. Bellatrix poked her head through the cracked door.

 

Kreacher muttered to himself that Sirius would never throw him out because Kreacher knew what “they were up to, oh yes, Kreacher knows, they plot against the Dark Lord, these Mudbloods and blood traitors.”

 

Sirius grabbed Kreacher by the back of his loincloth and  hauled him into the air.

 

“Sirius, no!” Hermione said. “Please, he’s old, and he doesn’t know what he’s saying, just leave him alone - ”

 

Sirius ignored Hermione, stalking toward the door which he threw open with the obvious intention of tossing Kreacher into the hallway. Bellatrix caught sight of the distress on Hermione’s face. Jumping up, she snapped at Sirius’s wrist. He dropped Kreacher in surprise.

 

Kreacher landed hard on the floor. Bellatrix stepped over him, glaring at Sirius.

 

Sirius scowled at her, rubbing his wrist. It was red with indents in his skin where her teeth had dug in. She had not broken the skin.

 

His jaw clenched, teeth grinding together. Kreacher crawled out from underneath her and cowered behind her.

 

“Fine,” Sirius snapped, “have it your way. Just take him away from here.”

 

Bellatrix escorted Kreacher from the room. She paused in the doorway and looked back at Hermione, who mouthed “thank you” gratefully.

 

Then Sirius nudged Bellatrix roughly with his foot, causing her to step out into the hallway, and slammed the door.

 

 

Kreacher trudged back toward his den after that, and with little else to do, Bellatrix followed him curiously. Under the boiler, he had created a den for himself. It reminded her of the ones the leaders of the pack would dig in the spring for raising and protecting the pups. It was dark, warm, enclosed. Bellatrix had not spent much time in the dens, which were primarily for the leaders, though she had once or twice returned a pup who had ventured too far. Still the association brought her a sense of comfort and security she had not felt since Sirius and Dumbledore removed her from the Forest.

 

“Kreacher apologizes for the mess, Miss Bella,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “Mistress and the old Master never visited Kreacher here.”

 

Bellatrix did not mind. She sniffed curiously at the artifacts he had gathered. One was a large locket that she did not recognize. She thought she remembered watching the children struggle to open it. Kreacher picked it up, placed it inside a dirty cloth, wrapped it and reverently tucked it beneath the pile of blankets serving as his bed.

 

“Master Regulus’s locket,” Kreacher murmured.

 

He shuffled over to a stack of photographs inside tarnished frames. One of the photographs had Spell-O-Tape piecing the glass together. A woman with thick black hair and hooded eyes gazed back at her with a haughty expression.

 

“This is you, Miss Bellatrix,” he wheezed. “As you ought to be. Do you remember?”

 

Bellatrix gazed into the arrogant eyes of the photograph. Something tickled at the back of her mind.

 

Kreacher held it up for a moment. Then he grabbed another picture. This one was in a similar tarnished silver frame, but the glass remained shattered. Clearly this picture was not as well loved.

 

A woman with blonde hair and blue eyes gazed out at her, wearing white formal dress robes. A man with blonde hair stood beside her, similarly dressed up, though his robes were black, and he wrapped an arm around her waist. A smile played at the corners of his lips. Bellatrix felt an instant rush of dislike. The man pressed a kiss to the woman’s temple - Narcissa, it was Narcissa. She held a bouquet of flowers.

 

Bellatrix’s gaze roved over the picture again, taking in all the details. A wedding. This picture had been taken at Cissy’s wedding. The man was...was... _Lucius_ , she remembered, thinking of the tapestry. Lucius Malfoy.

 

Cissy smiled up at him. She kissed his cheek, and he grinned. Bellatrix felt her intense dislike lessen. Cissy looked happy. Lucius too. Bellatrix was sure she had reasons she did not like him, but clearly how he treated Cissy was not one of them.

 

Cissy glanced sideways, caught sight of Bellatrix’s portrait, and waved enthusiastically. Bellatrix’s picture rolled her eyes with a slight smile and waved back.

 

Kreacher set down Bellatrix’s photograph and picked up another. This one was of Bellatrix with a tall, broad shouldered man beside her. Bellatrix wore white formal robes similar to the kind that Narcissa wore, and the man wore black formal dress robes. Bellatrix too had a veil lifted back to reveal her face, but unlike Narcissa, she did not hold a bouquet of flowers, and both her and the man’s posture was stiffer, less at ease than either Narcissa or Lucius.

 

The man stood beside her, but he did not touch her with the easy and loving familiarity with which Lucius touched Narcissa. Bellatrix studied the photograph.

 

_Rodolphus Lestrange_ , she thought, remembering the golden threads connecting her name to his on the family tapestry. Their wedding day had been a beautiful one, she remembered, eyeing the photograph.

 

_About an hour before the ceremony, Rodolphus cracked the door to her bedroom open and whispered, “Bella! Are you alone? My mum is driving me mad, can I hide in here for a few?”_

 

_“It’s bad luck to see the bride on her wedding day,” Bellatrix quipped._

 

_“Bugger luck, if my mum doesn’t stop messing with my hair, I’ll_ \- shit!” _Rodolphus slipped inside and dove for cover under her bed, hissing, “She’s coming this way! I’m not here!”_

 

_It had only been Rabastan Lestrange, his younger brother, who had not believed Bellatrix’s lies, and grabbed Rodolphus by his leg, dragged him out from under the bed and shoved him out of the room goodnaturedly._

 

_“Mum keeps giving me_ tips _for tonight,” Rodolphus groaned as he was pushed from the room, “and Dad swears he knows_ positions _that guarantee a son and bugger all that, they’re driving me mad - ”_

 

Bellatrix had grimaced. She did not hate Rodolphus Lestrange - or rather she had not when they had gotten married. He was nice looking, came from a well-bred family, and he was decently intelligent. Perhaps, had they not had the stresses and expectations of marriage upon them, they could have been friends. But they were expected to have a child - a son, more specifically, no matter how many children that took - and Bellatrix could not imagine herself raising even one child with him. She did not want children, and she rather suspected that Rodolphus only wanted a son because it was expected of him.

 

The doorbell rang downstairs, a cacophony setting off the portraits, and Bellatrix looked away from the photographs. A hollow ache settled in her chest. Needing a distraction, she trotted out of the boiler room and down to the first floor where Andromeda and a woman Bellatrix vaguely recognized pulled the curtains shut and stunned the portraits.

 

“Sorry about that, McGonagall, we haven’t been able to get her portrait down yet,” Andromeda said breathlessly, running a hand through her hair.

 

“It’s quite alright,” the woman said. She wore a muggle dress and a hat, quite different from her teaching robes, but Bellatrix remembered that voice scolding children from her time lurking on the edges of the forest.

 

“I received your owl,” McGonagall said to Andromeda. “There’s been a development with Madam Lestrange?”

 

Bellatrix growled. Andromeda jumped, and McGonagall dropped her eyes to Bellatrix who prowled over to stand beside Andromeda. Andromeda placed a hand on her back, silencing her growls instantly.

 

“She doesn’t like to be called that,” Andromeda said.

 

McGonagall hummed through pursed lips. “I see. Very well.”

 

Aunt Walburga’s portrait gave a loud snore behind the closed curtains. They were silent for a few tense seconds.

 

Andromeda whispered, “Let’s take this somewhere else.”

 

McGonagall followed Andromeda to the drawing room. Curious, Bellatrix trailed after them, slipping in before Andromeda could close the door. The desk rattled threateningly, and Bellatrix pinned her ears back and bared her teeth at it.

 

Andromeda locked the drawing room door behind them. “Kreacher,” she said by way of explanation. “He likes to wander the house and eavesdrop.”

 

“Your letter,” McGonagall prompted.

 

“I...yes,” Andromeda said, and for a moment, she seemed nervous. Andromeda told McGonagall of the interest Bellatrix had shown in the Black family tapestry and of the accidental magic she had performed. “Or, I think it was accidental,” she amended. “She hasn’t done it since. But she knew what she was doing. She pulled me into her mind and showed me a specific memory. Could she do it again? Is this a way we could communicate with her?”

 

McGonagall watched her thoughtfully. Her expression had softened as Andromeda spoke, but when she answered, her words were cautious yet firm. “I would advise against reading too much into incidents like these. If Bellatrix has not performed similar magic since, it is possible she acted on instinct. She may not have been nearly as in control as it appears.”

 

She placed a hand on Andromeda’s shoulder. “But it is a good sign, nonetheless. It is a step in the right direction. Please keep me informed of any further developments.”

 

They said their goodbyes, and Andromeda walked McGonagall to the door. Bellatrix trailed after her as Andromeda moved about the house, finally going back to their room. She sat on the bed and buried her face in her hands.

 

Bellatrix nuzzled her cheek. Andromeda did not respond.

 

 

Trotting along side Dora, Bellatrix explored previously unused rooms on the third floor. The twins slept in a bedroom by the landing, as did Molly and Arthur, but the rooms further down had not been checked or looked at yet.

 

Dora rarely stayed long, usually just dropping in to have a hushed conversation with someone else, during which Molly harshly shooed Bellatrix away for reasons that Bella did not understand. Something about a "private conversation" as if that made any sense. What did that have to do with wanting to greet her pack mate? Molly was lucky each time when Andy caught up with her and gently tugged Bellatrix away or else Bella would have fought Molly.

 

This time Dora had smiled, said "It's alright, Molly" and quickly finished her conversation with Remus before nearly skipping over to Bella and dropping to her knees in front of her. She scratched hard at Bellatrix's neck and shoulders and sides, and Bella panted and growled happily as Dora cooed, "It's nice to see you, Aunt Bella. I'm going to help clean today. Want to come explore with me?"

 

Bellatrix had been more than pleased and, after Dora had found Andy to say hello and give her a quick kiss to the cheek and pass along the newest letter from Ted, they had climbed the stairs together. The cobwebs on the third floor were thick as was the dust that coated the carpet. Their footsteps kicked dust up into the air, and Bellatrix sneezed hard, which sent more dust flying up from the carpet.

 

Dora chuckled then coughed as she inhaled a mouthful of dust. "Just doing a quick check," she said as she poked her head into each room they passed. "Make sure nothing is up here the kids shouldn't get in to by themselves. Then we can - "

 

Bellatrix stopped, eyes pinned on the last door in the hallway. The whole house still smelled faintly of rot and the dust was so thick, she had at first missed the foul smell wafting down the hallway as something dead in the walls. But she could not dismiss the sound of something big shuffling beyond the door.

 

Dora approached it, reaching out to grasp the handle. Bellatrix growled and barked in warning. Dora froze. Bellatrix's hackles stood on end, and she barked again. Every muscle was tense and ready to run. Dora lowered her hand slowly and backed away from the door.

 

"Right," she said slowly, "let's go get Remus and Sirius before opening that then."

 

They passed Potter, Ron and Hermione on their way down to the kitchen in search of Sirius and Remus, but Dora did not seem to notice the buckets or mops they carried or that they continued up the stairs past the second floor on to the third. Bellatrix stopped, her ears flicking back. They were heading down the hallway. Too far down the hallway.

 

With an anxious whine, she nipped at Dora's hand and grabbed the sleeve of her robe between her teeth and tugged.

 

Dora stopped, looking at her in confusion. "What's going on, Bella?"

 

Bellatrix trotted back up the steps, and Dora followed her. When she reached the landing, Bellatrix's heart skipped a beat. Potter, Ron and Hermione stood at the end of the hallway, Ron grabbing the door handle to the last room on the right and saying, while he pulled it open, "Mum said she wanted us to start with the bathroom, and Sirius reckons this is still it if his mum didn’t change it - blimey, it smells like something died in - "

 

Bellatrix barreled down the hallway at the same time Hermione screamed and the boys stumbled away from the door with startled shouts. Dora's footsteps pounded against the floor behind Bellatrix, racing after her. A ghoul burst out of the bathroom. It lunged at the children. Bellatrix leapt at it, latching onto its lanky, hairy arm with her jaws. She yanked it away from the children. Caught off guard, it stumbled.

 

"Bella, move!" Dora shouted, but before Bellatrix could do anything, the ghoul swung its other arm around. It caught her in the side, picked her up into the air and flung her against the opposite wall. Bellatrix yelped as she crashed into the wall and let out another when she hit the floor. The ghoul lunged at her, furious, one arm bleeding profusely. It grabbed her around the neck, hauled her into the air and slammed her against the wall.

 

" _STUPIFY!_ " Dora bellowed.

 

The ghoul ducked the stunner. It swung Bellatrix around, slammed her to the floor and sprinted for Dora. Bellatrix thrashed weakly, struggling to breathe, her whole body searing with pain.

 

_Dora!_ She twisted to see Dora cast another stunner, this time hitting the ghoul with enough force to lift it up off its feet and slam it onto its back.

 

Bellatrix closed her eyes. Everything hurt. Her ribs ached sharply where the ghoul hit her. When she moved, the pain flared sharply, nearly blinding.

 

"Stay away from the ghoul," Dora ordered. "Sirius, Remus take care of it, I need to check on Aunt Bella."

 

"Bellatrix?" Sirius's voice said alarmed as two pairs of feet thundered up the steps.

 

"What happened?" Molly demanded breathless.

 

Someone knelt beside Bellatrix and began running their hands gently over her body, stopping when they hit her side and Bellatrix whined and thrashed, snapping her jaws blindly.

 

"Bella?" Andy cried. "Dora, what happened - "

 

"The ghoul attacked the kids," Dora said absently, her hands returning to Bellatrix's body, running them down her legs. "She fought it, but it got her good. I think her ribs might be damaged. We need to make sure - " She lightly brushed her hands up over Bellatrix's sides, and Bellatrix thrashed and twisted despite the pain. Her teeth snapped the air where Dora's hands had been a second before.

 

"Severus might be able to - " Remus began.

 

Something ruffled the fur on Bellatrix's side. She snapped at it, but Dora pulled her wand away before Bellatrix could snap it between her teeth. "Learned how to detect injuries in Auror training. But..." Another tap, and Dora cursed. "The spell isn't working right. It's meant for people, not animals. Maybe if we forced the change..."

 

"We could make it worse," Sirius said grimly.

 

"I'll send an owl to Narcissa," Andy said, "maybe she knows something, what with those stupid peacocks - "

 

Bellatrix whined when Dora's hands brushed at her cheeks and the top of her head. She snapped weakly at Dora's hands, but Dora just held her head firmly and made soothing shushing noises.

 

"It'll be okay," Dora murmured. Then in a louder voice, she said, "Why don't you go start cleaning the bathroom? We've got this."

 

As several pairs of feet hesitantly shuffled into the bathroom, a small voice - Hermione, Bellatrix thought, but her head and side hurt too much to move to look at her - asked, "Is she going to be okay?"

 

"She'll be fine," Dora said, gently stroking Bellatrix’s head as she panted rapidly from the pain. "We'll figure something out."


	21. Secrets

Narcissa sat in the gardens on the marble bench, reading the letter from Andromeda for what felt like the hundredth time, trying to draw answers from it that she knew she couldn't. _Progress with Freki._ While Narcissa wished that Andromeda did not insist on using the name the mudblood girl came up with, it was a useful code. No one would suspect it connected to Bellatrix.

 

Excitement bubbled in her chest. Bellatrix was making progress - and it was significant enough that Andromeda had written to her. Narcissa's heart had sunk at the sight of the unfamiliar owl when she had first seen it. The last times she had been contacted it had been regarding harm that had befallen Bellatrix. But this was excellent news.

 

Now if only Lucius had not been watching her more closely the past few days.

 

The crunching of gravel underfoot signaled Lucius's arrival. She carefully folded the letter, tucked it into her pocket, and smiled up at him.

 

"And what has you in such a good mood this morning?" Lucius asked, sitting beside her. He went to wrap an arm around her shoulders, hesitated, and then dropped his arm to his side.

 

"Do I have to have a reason? Can I not simply be happy?"

 

"Of course, dear. It's only...you've not been yourself lately." He frowned. "I worry about you."

 

Narcissa felt anger prickle beneath her skin. "Why is that? Afraid I'll run off and turn traitor?"

 

Lucius winced. It was, she granted, a less spurious accusation now than it had been. But the thought that he had worried a single meeting with Dumbledore would turn her against him - against their son, against everything they worked for - still rankled.

 

"I worry because I love you," Lucius said. "You've been distant. You've been spending more time out of the house and encouraging Draco to go on various trips with the Crabbes, Goyles, Zabinis, Parkinsons - every family but with us, and that has me worried... Ordinarily I have to pry you off of Draco over the summers just so he can breathe." He smiled weakly, but Narcissa did not laugh nor smile back, and it slid off his face. He brushed her hair behind her ear. "I know you're still angry with me, but please, I'm concerned. Is something wrong?"

 

"No," Narcissa lied, "nothing is wrong."

 

Everything was wrong. Her sister was suffering a serious magical injury, she was in the hands of her enemies, and Narcissa could not tell her husband or her son. The excitement she had felt previously vanished completely. Her heart sank further when she spotted an owl swooping low over the garden, a letter in its beak. It dropped it in her lap - or it tried to.

 

Lucius snatched the letter out of the air before Narcissa could grab it. She whipped out her wand and shot his hand with a stinging hex. Hissing in shock and pain, he dropped the letter.

 

“ _Accio_ letter!” she hissed. The letter flew into her hand. “What the hell are you playing at, Lucius?”

 

“I...” He swallowed. Rubbing the back of his hand, he watched her warily. "I'm sorry."

 

"You will be. You're sleeping in the guest rooms again," Narcissa snapped.

 

"Please, dear - you can't keep kicking me out of our room every time I annoy you - "

 

"Annoy me?" she shrieked. "You just tried to violate my privacy, Lucius!"

 

“I wasn't going to - ”

 

“Don't give me that. You had no other reason to grab my mail.”

 

His gaze darted away, briefly. Ashamed. "I'm worried about you, Narcissa. I don't know what to do. You won't talk to me. You're lying to me. What else am I supposed to do?"

 

"Trust me," she snarled. "Like I trust you."

 

"Narcissa..."

 

But Narcissa spun on her heel and stormed from the gardens into the Manor to her and Lucius's bedroom. She slammed and locked the door, put up wards around it to ensure she would not be interrupted and then tore open the letter. Her blood ran cold.

 

_Freki injured. Come immediately._ It was Andromeda's handwriting.

 

Narcissa thought quickly. "Pinky."

 

The house elf appeared beside her with a crack. "Yes, Mistress?"

 

"I have to go see Bellatrix. Listen carefully: I need you to bring me to the edges of the property and then return here to this room. If Lucius comes to the door, you are tell him that I do not wish to speak to him right now. Do not, under any circumstances, allow him to know that I am not in this room. Do you understand?"

 

"Yes, Mistress, of course!" Pinky nodded her head, her ears flapping.

 

Narcissa dug through the back of her dresser for a bag where she had stashed the muggle clothing Andromeda had given her during her visit to Andromeda's home.

 

Narcissa had sworn to never wear them again, but if Lucius were suspicious of her, would he be putting ears to the ground attempting to discover where she was going and what she was doing? Would those who might act as Lucius's eyes and ears look twice at a woman in well worn clothing and trainers? Or would they be more likely to notice a woman in dress pants and a nice blouse and peacoat as Narcissa was fond of wearing?

 

Frowning, she changed into the old clothes and trainers and pulled her hair into a ponytail. If she were going to continue visiting Grimmauld Place, she would need some new clothes. She had not planned on Lucius being so suspicious. She would also need to dye her hair back to it's natural blonde. The two toned look, though she was fond of it, was too distinctive - and besides, she no longer needed the visible connection to a sister lost to her: Bellatrix was alive.

 

Narcissa grinned, struck again by giddiness. Everything felt so surreal that at times she was not sure the reality of the situation had truly set in, even after several weeks.

 

Then she remembered Andromeda's letter, and the smile vanished.

 

"I have to go," she said to Pinky, all business.

 

Pinky held out her bony hand, and Narcissa took it gently, keenly aware in that moment of how fragile the house elf was. Had Dobby been so fragile? Was Kreacher? The next second the thought was banished from her mind when Pinky Apparated them both just outside the boundaries of the property. It was a spot hidden from view by the tall hedges on the other side of the fence.

 

"Remember," Narcissa said, "Lucius must not know I've left our room."

 

Without waiting for a reply, she Disapparated. She appeared with a soft pop in the middle of the overgrown square across the road from Grimmauld Place. Glancing around to check that no one had seen, she strode out of the square, across the street, and knocked on the peeling front door. Softly, as she was sure Andromeda was expecting her, and she did not wish to set off Aunt Walburga's portrait.

 

Andromeda opened the door, and Narcissa slipped inside.

 

"I got your owl," Narcissa said, "both of them. I came as fast as I could but Lucius is getting suspicious about how often I'm - "

 

"Both?" Andromeda said, thrown.

 

"About some progress with Bellatrix, but never mind that now, you said she's been injured?"

 

Andromeda grimaced. "A ghoul. In an unused bathroom. Bellatrix fought it."

 

"What?" Narcissa gasped. "Why?"

 

"It attacked the children. We've tried to check her for injuries, but the spells don't work on animals and we hoped, because of the peacocks, that you might..." Andromeda trailed off at the stricken look on Narcissa's face.

 

"Pinky and Lucius tend to the peacocks. I have nothing to do with them."

 

Andromeda ran her hands through her hair, frustrated, and started pacing the width of the hallway.

 

"Maybe Pinky could..." Narcissa trailed off. That would never work. Dumbledore would have to agree to allow her into Order Headquarters, and if Pinky were here, she would not be at the Manor ensuring Lucius never discovered she had slipped away.

 

"Dumbledore would never agree to that," Andromeda said, though Narcissa wasn't sure if Andromeda were speaking to her or to herself. "Too risky for them to be used as spies. At best, maybe we could allow Pinky to teach Kreacher - "

 

"And put my family at risk if anyone discovers Kreacher was there?" Narcissa asked sharply. "How should I explain that to the Dark Lord, hm? What good reason is there for Sirius Black's house elf to be at my home?"

 

"Well, we can't take her anywhere, they would know she's an Animagus or been transfigured as soon as they used spells to check her - "

 

Andromeda stopped dead as if stuck by a sudden thought.

 

"I have an idea. You're going to hate it."

 

 

“I can’t believe you know how to operate this muggle death trap.”

 

Andromeda glanced up at the car’s rearview mirror, where she saw Narcissa’s pale and scowling face reflected. “I learned a few years ago so I could help Ted take care of his parents. They’re elderly now, and they can’t drive anymore. Most days they aren’t up for managing public transit.”

 

In the passenger seat, Dora smiled. “Relax, Aunt Cissy. Mum knows what she’s doing.”

 

“Don’t call me that,” Narcissa said stiffly.

 

Dora shrugged. “Whatever you say, Madam Malfoy. Aunt Bellatrix is my favorite aunt anyway.”

 

Andromeda decided to ignore her annoyance at Narcissa’s insistence at rebuffing Dora. She flipped on the right turn signal and waited for a break in traffic. “How is Bella doing?”

 

“Fine,” Narcissa said stiffly. “And that worries me. I would expect her to be...more active. I don’t know. Anything but just laying here.”

 

Andromeda twisted in her seat to look back at Bellatrix. She lay stretched across the back seat, on top of the blanket they had used to carry her, with her head in Narcissa’s lap. The vest was back around her torso and a muzzle secured around her head. Bellatrix panted rapidly. Her eyes darted around the inside of the vehicle, and she trembled visibly when a driver laid on the horn somewhere behind them.

 

Neither Narcissa nor Andromeda were pleased with the muzzle, but it had been necessary. Once they begun attempting to move her, Bellatrix had thrashed and snapped at all of them. No one had been able to approach her until Sirius had frozen her with a spell. But they could not very well take her outside Grimmauld Place still frozen, and they had to consider their own safety and the safety of others. The muzzle had been the only solution, though it broke both their hearts. This was not their sister, not at the moment - this was a wild animal, injured and lashing out.

 

“Eyes on the road!” Narcissa hissed.

 

Andromeda rolled her eyes. “Traffic is stopped, Cissy. Calm down.”

 

She turned back around and, spotting a gap between cars, she made her turn, ignoring Narcissa’s sharp gasp. Several minutes and tense comments from Narcissa later, they pulled into a parking lot which was mostly empty. As Andromeda parked, Narcissa stared at the letters above the main entrance and said hesitantly, “Riverside...Animal Hospital?”

 

“Yes. A veterinary clinic.” Andromeda got out of the car, opened the door to the back seat, and leaned over Narcissa to unbuckle her seatbelt. “I told you you’d hate this.”

 

“You brought us to _muggles_ ?” Narcissa hissed. She slapped Andromeda’s hands away from the seat belt. “Stop it, I can handle - I can’t _believe_ you brought our sister to _muggles_ \- ” She fumbled with the seat belt as Andromeda watched with a raised eyebrow. It certainly didn’t help that it was difficult for her to reach around and under Bellatrix to hit the release. Huffing, Narcissa yanked at the belt, locking it tight against her body, and she cursed.

 

Andromeda rolled her eyes and unlocked the seat belt for her. This time Narcissa didn’t fight her, only crossed her arms and glared.

 

“Do you have any better ideas? Muggles won’t know she isn’t an animal unlike any magical healer. So if you can think of something else that won’t result in her being chucked into Azkaban, I’m all ears.”

 

Narcissa frowned as they pulled Bellatrix off of the back seat. Bellatrix let out a high pitched whine as they moved her, and Andromeda wished they could use magic to carry her. It would surely jostle her less.

 

Dora grabbed the ends of the blanket and pulled Bellatrix across the seat. While Dora usually favored her natural body structure, usually changing only her hair, she had shifted so that her arms were more muscular than normal. Even so, she grunted with the effort of moving Bellatrix by herself.

 

“Get the other end, Mum,” Dora said. “Narcissa, get the doors.”

 

With effort, they got Bellatrix out of the back seat. The blanket strained in their grasp, and Andromeda feared it would rip and spill Bellatrix onto the pavement, injuring her further. Or that Bellatrix would start thrashing, yanking the the blanket from their hands. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, focusing on moving carefully toward and through the door without jostling Bellatrix anymore than necessary.

 

The woman at the front desk jumped up to help them. Her eyes went wide at the sight of Bellatrix before she schooled her expression into a professional interest. Andromeda spoke to her, keeping one eye on Narcissa who looked around at the walls with a carefully blank expression though Andromeda could see the tension in her face.

 

“She was hit by a car,” Andromeda said, her voice strained from the effort of holding Bellatrix up, as Narcissa eyed the various pamphlets on the wall and then the computer at the front desk. “Got away from me. She’s in pain.”

 

Bellatrix panted heavily, tremors running through her body. She went quiet as she stared up at the woman who kept her distance.

 

They were led to an examination room where the nurse helped them get Bellatrix up onto an examination table. The woman asked a few questions about Bellatrix and her medical history which Andromeda answered smoothly, having thought over some of the basic questions they might be asked on the way over. Narcissa remained quiet, letting Andromeda take the lead

 

The vet joined them shortly. She raised her eyebrows as she took in Bellatrix. Then, as the assistant had, concealed her surprise behind a professional demeanor. “Let’s get this vest off.”

 

Narcissa carefully unbuckled the vest. Bellatrix growled a little and then lunged at Narcissa’s hand when she brushed too close to her ribs. Andromeda felt a stab of terror when Bellatrix’s snout hit Narcissa’s hand, but the muzzle prevented her from biting Narcissa.

 

Narcissa jumped back, snatching her hand away. Betrayal flashed through her eyes before Narcissa hid it behind an expressionless mask.

 

“She’s just scared, Cissy,” Andromeda murmured, resting her hand on Narcissa’s arm. “She isn’t thinking.”

 

Narcissa jerked her head in a stiff nod.

 

“We need to do some chest x-rays,” the vet explained, kicking up the breaks keeping the wheeled table stationary. “We may have to give her a mild sedative if we can't hold her still.”

 

Andromeda nodded, and the vet took Bellatrix from the room.

 

Narcissa started pacing the moment the door closed. Then she snapped at Andromeda, “How are they going to sedate her? Is it safe? What are they going to make her drink - ”

 

“It’s perfectly safe,” Andromeda said, placing her hands on Narcissa’s shoulders. “The people here are trained professionals, just like any witch or wizard we would have taken her to. They measure the sedative and then they use a needle to inject - ”

 

“A _what_?” Narcissa shrieked.

 

“Be quiet!” Andromeda hissed. Then she said in a lower voice, “Try to relax. They know what they’re doing.”

 

“What's an x-ray?” Narcissa demanded.

 

Andromeda eyed her warily. “I don’t think I should try explaining anything to you anymore. It’s only causing you stress.”

 

“My sister being left in the hands of _muggles_ is what’s - ”

 

Andromeda threw her hands up in the air. “It’s better than taking her to some back alley magical creature peddler in Knockturn Alley and hoping they don’t catch on.”

 

“Is it?” Narcissa snapped. “And least then I would know what to expect and what pressure I could apply to keep them quiet!”

 

Dora busied herself with looking over the various pamphlets on the wall with such a strong look of concentration she could only be steadfastly pretending to have gone deaf.

 

“Those muggles could be doing anything to Bellatrix - ”

 

“They aren’t,” Andromeda insisted. “You might not understand, but I do. I wouldn’t bring Bellatrix here if I thought it was dangerous. Do you trust me to keep our sister safe?”

 

Narcissa glared at her, her hands fidgeting with the dog harness.

 

Dora turned around, a pamphlet proclaiming _What You Need to Know about Ticks_ in her hands. “Mum, not cause more stress, but we aren’t going to allow them to do anything to Aunt Bellatrix beyond find out what’s wrong, right? We’re not going to let them try to heal her, are we?”

 

“No, of course not,” Andromeda said.

 

“Right. Then what’s the plan for keeping them from doing that?”

 

“Go wait in the car, Nymphadora.”

 

“Mum, how many times have I said not to call me that - ”

 

“Go wait in the car, Nymphadora,” Andromeda repeated pointedly. She stared at Dora with a significant look.

 

Dora stared back for a moment, considering. Then she nodded and left the room.

 

Narcissa watched her, still toying with the harness. It did not escape Andromeda’s attention that she still had not answered the question of whether she was trusted to keep Bellatrix safe. She tried not to let out an exasperated breath when Narcissa changed the subject.

 

“What did you mean?”

 

“About?”

 

“Your letter. The first one. You said there had been a development in her condition. What was it?”

 

“Oh.” Andromeda faltered. “We were looking at the tapestry. Bellatrix...she performed Legilimency and showed me a memory, but McGonagall said not to read too much into it, she probably didn’t do it intentionally - ”

 

Narcissa looked at her sharply. “She showed you a memory?”

 

“She hasn’t done it since.”

 

“What...” Narcissa trailed off. In a smaller voice,she asked again, “What memory?”

 

“The night she blasted my name off the tapestry,” Andromeda said quietly. She hesitantly met Narcissa’s eyes. “You never told me you wanted to go after me.”

 

“It wasn’t relevant,” Narcissa said, eyes flashing as she schooled her features into a neutral expression. “I didn’t go after you. I made my choice.”

 

Narcissa was right, in a sense, that it changed nothing, but it soothed the wound inside of Andromeda. Knowing it truly hadn’t been easy for Narcissa to let her go loosened the knot in her chest that she had carried around for decades a little bit more.

 

“Bellatrix told you not to,” Andromeda said. She wasn’t sure what her point was, if anything. She watched Narcissa for her reaction.

 

Narcissa’s eyes were wet. “She was protecting me. I know she was hurt too.”

 

“She was,” Andromeda agreed.

 

Narcissa glanced away. “Did you see anything else?”

 

“Some,” Andromeda said. “She was outside my house that morning after...I _saw_ her, but I didn’t know...” She swallowed, hesitant to share any more. But hadn’t they kept enough painful secrets from each other already?

 

“She told Pinky to lie to you.”

 

Narcissa’s head jerked up. She stared at Andromeda with wide eyes, watery and red. A tear slipped down her cheek. “She told Pinky to lie to me? She...” She placed her hands over her mouth, biting back a sob.

 

Andromeda pulled Narcissa into a tight hug, rubbing her back.

 

“I knew she let me believe she was dead but I didn’t realize...I had hoped it was an accident, that she just couldn’t...I didn’t want to believe she hurt me on purpose...” Narcissa fisted her hands in Andromeda’s shirt. “That bitch, that complete and utter...”

 

“She was trying to protect you,” Andromeda said soothingly, stroking Narcissa’s hair. “She was terrified that knowing the truth would put you in danger. She missed you _so much_ , but she cared more about keeping you and Draco safe than her happiness or well being. It doesn’t make what she did right, but - ”

 

“She had _no right_ \- ”

 

“I know,” Andromeda said. “I know. She hated that she hurt you. It tore her up inside. Hopefully one day she can apologize to you.”

 

“I’m _furious_ ,” Narcissa said, pulling away from Andromeda, eyes still wet but flashing with anger now. “I was so lonely for years - my family dead or estranged - I needed her and she was off pretending to be dead - ”

 

“Cissy...”

 

Narcissa slumped and buried her face in her hands. “Please tell me the muggles know what they’re doing. Please tell me she’ll be okay.”

 

“She will be. I promise.”

 

The door opened, and Narcissa twisted away, hastily wiping her tears and composing herself. The veterinarian smiled at them comfortingly.

 

“The good news is that Bellatrix doesn’t need surgery,” she said, but Andromeda was barely listening, eyeing the x-rays in her hand. “She _does_ have some general fractures and a lot of bruising.”

 

While the risk of muggles having seen them and knowing Bellatrix’s name was low, there was still the potential for them to have been spotted. And with the way that the veterinarians had looked at Bellatrix when they brought her in, Andromeda suspected that they assumed Bellatrix to be either an actual wolf or a hybrid, and while Andromeda didn’t know the laws surrounding owning wildlife or hybrids among muggles, she suspected they were not supposed to “own” either.

 

Which would mean, these muggles would likely be reporting Bellatrix to authorities after they left. There was also the question of getting out without having to give any kind of identifying information or payment - something she had been turning over in the back of her mind the whole time, and why Dora, an Auror, could not be present.

 

“Her ribs should heal on their own in about eight to twelve weeks,” the veterinarian continued. “You’ll have to keep her calm and relaxed, and limit her exercise. Pain medication will help manage - ”

 

“Can we see the x-rays?” Andromeda asked. Her eyes dropped to the dark sheets of film in the woman’s hands.

 

“Where’s Bellatrix?” Narcissa snapped.

 

“She’ll be in shortly,” the woman replied. “We had to give her a mild sedative. She’ll be a little groggy for a couple of hours.”

 

The veterinarian’s assistant came back into the room, rolling Bellatrix on the table she had been taken out on. Bellatrix lay still, looking sleepy and dazed. The blanket was still trapped under her body, and the leash was coiled on the edge of the table.

 

“Is there anything else?” Andromeda asked.

 

“She doesn’t appear to have a concussion, but as I said, she’s badly bruised.”

 

“But are there any other tests you want to run? Are you finished with your examination?”

 

The woman frowned at Andromeda’s curt demeanor. “I’ve finished with my examination, yes.”

 

Andromeda plucked the x-rays from the woman’s hands. “Thank you. You’ve been an amazing help. I really am sorry about this.”

 

“What - ”

 

Andromeda whipped out her wand, pointed it at the woman who stared at her with increasing alarm and said, “ _Obliviate_.”

 

The woman blinked. “I...what...?”

 

Beside her, Narcissa said pointed her wand at the assistant. Glancing at her, Andromeda saw the assistant had the same glazed look in her eyes.

 

“ _Confundus_ ,” Andromeda said, and the woman stumbled, dazed. Narcissa did the same to the assistant while Andromeda grabbed the leash, looped over her shoulder and opened the door to peek outside. The hallway and the waiting room were empty.

 

Andromeda cast a Feather Weight charm on Bellatrix, wrapped Bellatrix up in the blanket, and picked her up. Even without the sheer weight of her, Bellatrix’s form was bulky and difficult to carry. Narcissa opened the doors for her.

 

Dora stood beside the car. She frowned when she saw them, but said nothing. Merely opened the door for Andromeda to set Bellatrix down on the backseat.

 

****

 

The drive back to Grimmauld Place was spent mostly in silence. Bellatrix was grateful she was laying down even if the car jostled her and caused pain to shoot through her ribs every time they  hit a rough patch of road or Andy was forced to stop a little too hard. “I’m sorry, Bella, we’re almost there,” Andromeda cooed every time Bella whined, and Narcissa absently stroked at Bella’s fur, seeming more distant that she had been before, but Bella did not understand why.

 

They parked on the street outside Grimmauld Place.

 

Dora looked around. “I don’t see anyone. If we move quickly, we can get Aunt Bella inside without anyone noticing.”

 

Bellatrix whined at the thought of being moved again. She did not understand either what made them so worried, and she shivered. Where there predators they needed to be wary of? Injured as she was, Bellatrix did not know if she could outrun or fight back if they were attacked. Trembling, she pressed her head into Narcissa’s stomach.

 

“It’s alright, Bella. Once we get you inside the house, you’ll be okay,” Cissy said, and...her tone was soothing, but still it sounded distant, almost absent minded and Bellatrix did not understand _why_.

 

“The veterinarian said we had to limit her exercise, but she should be able to walk back inside by herself. Can you get the vest back on her, Narcissa?” Andromeda asked.

 

Bellatrix did not like the thought of walking. Her head was unnaturally fuzzy and groggy. She struggled weakly as Narcissa put her back in the vest and clipped the collar to the ring on the back. Reluctantly, she let Andy and Cissy nudge her out of the car while Dora held the door open and kept watch. For what, Bellatrix did not know, but it took all her concentration to stay upright.

 

She stumbled toward the door. Andy opened it. Crookshanks shoved his face into the opening, crying. Andy nudged him back with her leg enough to allow Bellatrix and Cissy to enter the house. Crookshanks quieted the moment Bellatrix entered, sniffing at her and rubbing against her, purring loudly.

 

Dora closed and locked the door while Andy levitated Bellatrix off the ground. It jostled her slightly which hurt her ribs but not as much as walking, although she did not relish the sensation of being out of control of her own moments. Andy levitated her up the stairs, and Crookshanks trotted at Andy’s heels, eyes on Bella.

 

She was let down on her bed. Crookshanks hopped up beside her and curled up against her, tucked against her neck and head instead of his usual spot on her side for which Bellatrix was grateful. She gave his fur a little lick in thanks.

 

True to her word, Andy was back in a few minutes, carrying a few bottles in her hands and the x-rays. Bella shivered. She had been put on a strange table with a strange machine being moved around her and strange people holding her still and it had all been _strange_ and unfamiliar and terrifying.

 

Andromeda held up the film sheets and the lit the tip of her wand, holding it behind the film. A picture appeared. Cissy drew closer, staring at the black sheets with a horrified fascination.

 

“Are those Bellatrix’s ribs? They can see _inside her_?”

 

“The fractures don’t look too bad, like the vet said,” Andromeda said, ignoring the question. “We could try giving her a low dose of Skelo-grow and a sleeping draught while it works, and she’ll be up in no time. The bruises might take longer to heal unless we force a transformation or shave her fur so we can get a healing salve on them.”

 

“We are _not_ shaving our sister,” Cissy said.

 

“Oh, I don’t know. It could be funny.” Andy smirked. “We could give her a lion haircut. Wouldn’t that be cute?”

 

Bellatrix glared at Andy, who giggled and shook her head.

 

Andy measured out the potions and poured them into a cup. “You have to drink this, Bella,” she said. Bellatrix sniffed at the potions and jerked her head back. They smelled disgusting.

 

“If you don’t drink it willingly, I’m going to have to make you,” Andy said calmly.

 

Bellatrix snorted. As if Andy could force her to drink that disgusting -

 

Cissy darted forward in a flash, shoving her thumbs between the corners of Bella’s mouth and poking her tongue. Bellatrix tried to rear back, mouth opening automatically in an attempt to dislodge Cissy’s fingers. Andy poured the potion into Bella’s mouth. Cissy moved her hands, wrapping them around Bellatrix’s jaws trying to prevent her from spitting out the potion while Andy held her from behind.

 

Bellatrix thrashed then yelped - the movement made her ribs sear with pain. She swallowed the potion reflexively. Instantly, Andy and Cissy let her go. Almost instantly, Bellatrix felt the potion begin to work. Her ribs prickled even more painfully while her eyelids grew too heavy to keep open. She lay down on the bed with a pitiful whine.

 

“Go to sleep, Bella,” Cissy said, kissing the top of her head, though she still seemed distant. What had happened in that time Bellatrix had been separated from them? “You’ll feel better when you wake up.”

 

Bella struggled to keep her eyes open, wanting to reach out to Cissy, but the potions were too strong, and all she could do was whine again when Cissy pulled away.

 

“I’ll stay until Bellatrix falls asleep,” Cissy murmured to Andy. “Then I’ll head home. I...need some space to think.”

 

“I’ll send you owls about her progress,” Andy said softly.

 

Bellatrix struggled to stay awake knowing that if she fell asleep, Cissy would be gone when she woke up. But Cissy and Andy sat back down on either side of her, gently stroked her fur and, combined with the potions, she could not stay awake.


End file.
